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Two things I have learned:
There is every shade of sub and every shade of Dom and finding a match is just as difficult as in the vanilla world.
Secondly, maintaining a BDSM relationship is MORE difficult than in the vanilla world.
I have just about given up on establishing a LTR with the right person.
Pity really because I feel I have so much to give. I am retired, solvent, reasonably presentable, non-smoker, sociable, GSOH, can cook and an absolute whizz with a duster.
I do not uderstand the mindset of a a sub who declares his devotion to a woman just because she will beat him. I am looking for a relationship based on mutual attraction, trust and mutual respect. But one where the female is dominant, where the sub is constantly looking to make her life easier and where sex revolves round her satisfaction. Of course, punishment may be necessary but where there is punishment, there should also be rewards; tease, restraint and release. Only with time can two people find out whether they are truly matched. And who knows how the right relationship might develop and where it will go - I would rule nothing out for the right person? There aren't any quick fixes in my experience, at least none that are not ultimately disatisfying.
Sorry if this profile sounds a bit down - its supposed to be realistic.
Anyway, I will happily send a photo to anyone who cares to find out a bit more.
In the meantime, take care out there and be happy.
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