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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Master, 48,  Santa Barbara, California
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Last Online:


 Dominant Male

 Santa Barbara 


 6' 0"

 185 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Switch Women

 Lives For:

 Martial Arts (Expert)


 Amusement Parks



 Anal Play


 Canes and Crops


 Massage (Getting)

 Public Play


 Board Games

 Role Playing Games

 Science Fiction

 Intellectual Discourse

 Libertarian Politics



 Rock Music

 Seventies Music


 Renaissance Faires


 Corner Time


 Electrical Play




 Outdoor Bondage

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Role Playing



 Wax play




 Political Activism

 Pop Music



 Curious About:





 Eye Contact Restrictions


 Knife Play

 Needle Play


 Orgasm Control

 Plastic Wrap

 Vacuum Stimulation

 1950s Household

 Goth Lifestyle

 Victorian Household


 Bar Hopping


 Computer Expert

This is a new write-up, I am unsure what will be added in the future. First off, I've changed and grown beyond who I was few years ago. I'm both kinder than I used to be, and more capable of punishment than I used to be. Administering punishment is a waste of my time – it is not foreplay. Good-girls are rewarded. You must be intelligent, or I will lose interest rapidly. You must be valuable to me – you will come to understand what this means. I have traits that many consider flaws – I am self centered – Work is fun, and I often hyper-focus on it – I am Libertarian – my children are of age – I regard the world academically – condoms destroy the pleasure of fucking – and the list goes on. ========== THINGS TO CONSIDER: Cock pix are just low class. Introduce yourself. I want to meet and know you as a woman, not just a sex toy. English is my spoken language – write in full sentences, as if you are conversing with me. If you are outside the U.S. – be very clear why you are contacting me.

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Journal Entries:
4/23/2011 7:01:52 PM


Well, I just ran into a really good description of submissive, which I'll quote here:

I am submissive. I am not a switch. I am not a slave. My desire is to provide pleasure to and take care of, and relinquish control to, others. I do not want to be *air quotes* a slave, because most people aren't ready for the responsibility that requires on their part, to be wholly accountable for someone's physical and mental well-being. In my opinion, it's essentially the BDSM version of marriage- for most completely unnecessary, for many completely inadvisable. On the other hand, I feel secure and comfortable when someone else takes over responsibility for my body.

Something to meditate on.

3/26/2011 8:08:59 PM

So I've decided that I should re-write my profile.  Here's the old one, if you care to give a read.  My apologies for the awful formatting, the editors just don't seem to allow control of line breaks with any degree of precision ...

Welcome to my little virtual self description.  Like most men, I don't write nearly as well as I aught; ergo, take what you read with a little salt.

Let me start off by observing that I am seeking a real relationship.  If you want to hook up and play, I'm fine with that, please be clear with me about your desires and expectations.

Much of how I will treat you depends on my mood.  Some days I am very intense, others I just need to be cared for, still others I just need to sit and talk about simple things. I can hold you, I can scold you, I can spank you, and I can hurt you - depending on our relationship.  That mutual knowledge and trust comes from communication.  Communication takes practice and mistakes.  Are you willing to take that risk?

My style of command is results oriented.  Generally, I will tell you what I want you to do, and not how to do it.  Having said that, I am picky about how certain things are to be done, as my experience is that my way gives the best results.  I'm reasonable - do it my way, and don't give me grief.

As for me, I'm mostly laid back, but I do get up-tight at times and about certain things.  Perhaps the best description is that I'm an unconventional person, who is a bit difficult to understand.

The role I enjoy best is half friend, half playmate, half lover, and another half friend.  I know that's a lot to want/offer.  I do not want to live your life, any more than you want to live mine.  What I do like and seek is that happy, comfortable common ground shared between us.  Yes, the final decision is mine.  However, discussion is sometimes necessary to find the best solution.  Whatever "best" may mean.

I am looking to find a girl who is compatible with me.  Meaning that we are intellectually, emotionally, physically, and sexually compatible.  If in doubt, send a note and we'll chat.  Who knows?  We might decide that we like each other enough to carry forward.

Hopefully my profile gives you hit of what I'm like, and my expectations, so you can decide for yourself if it's worth the time to see if we are compatible.

Folks from outside the U.S. - if you send me a note, please do tell me why you contacted me. Otherwise, your message just goes straight to the bin.

1/9/2011 6:41:28 PM

I must admit, but I enjoy seeing a woman with ribbons in her hair.  The type and colour of the ribbons, of course, depends on the woman, her hair, and how she is dressed.  That, and an old-fashioned choker - a simple inch wide ribbon holding a stone at the throat, tied with a bow behind the neck.

9/19/2010 3:43:10 PM
Commuting long distance to work is interesting. It makes for a rather disconnected life, too.

Ok - idiot emails will be summarily deleted.

Ladies, I know how you feel recieving three letter emails. Just how fucking lame can these guys get?

4/5/2010 5:32:37 AM
I am amused at the jokers/pfishers/arses who think that putting up a very-low quality photograph with contradictory information and a text blurb that paraphrases as "I'm new to BDSM, come teach me".  C'mmon idiots, tall and skinny is one thing, but 115 pounds at six feet doesn't begin to approximate that photo.

Yes, we are guys ... yes, we are driven by our libidos ... but what the hell do you expect to accomplish.  At least pfish with a little more pride.

Faugh, I'm in a foul mood this morning.

3/9/2010 6:58:12 AM

Had an interesting conversation with a playmate the other day.  She observed that divorced men are all somewhat misogynistic.

To which the obverse conclusion is obvious, divorced women are somewhat misandristic.

Ain't life sweet?

3/3/2010 7:48:29 AM
Ok, I know my profile sounds confused; I know it is in some ways. 

Maybe I happen to think that a BDSM relationship is bi-directional (poly-directional?)? 

Are any of you in the central coastal region?

1/26/2010 1:21:54 AM

Once again I am impressed by my inability to communicate simple ideas clearly.

It's 1:00am.  I just received a message from a comely young lady.

So far, so good. 

A paraphrase the body of the young lady’s email says 
     I’m on-line, my YIM is name(at)

Unfortunately, the young lady has a minimal profile which has a single picture, some basic physical-characteristics, but no introductory text.

I’ll be charitable and assume that this young lady really is interested in chatting with me. 

Still, whatever happened to sending a note that is intelligent and interesting?  I thought the last paragraph of my profile was pretty clear:
     If you send a post, it should be
     written intelligently and say
     something interesting about you;
     otherwise I will just delete it.
     Please, engage my mind from
     the outset.

What am I doing wrong here????  

Please send me a note and let me know.

1/24/2010 10:42:06 AM
Oh my, can't people read?

The most amusing were the two and five letter emails that I recieved.

Pray show some intelligence and write a real note if you are going to contact me.

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