I was vanilla once in my life, at least I acted vanilla. But I knew there was something wrong ... something missing. I had a hard time reconciling my delight at tying up and teasing the two sisters who lived next door when I was about 12. But I subjugated these feelings thinking that I was perverted. I continued this pattern throughout my vanilla marriage. The pendulum was far to the vanilla side. It wasn't until after my divorce and the advent of online chat rooms, etc that I discovered that there were others who felt as I did. While not exactly mainstream society, at least there were other like minded adults out there. So I began to explore. I was a stranger in a strange land. I read books - A Different Loving, The Loving Dominant, SM101, Screw the Roses, etc etc. I discovered clubs. I attended seminars. I obtained all the "right" paraphernalia. I was soon caught up in this brave new world. I met submissive females. I played ... hard. The pendulum had swung far to the opposite side.

But I still wasn't entirely content. There was still something missing in this new Community. There was something in it that just wasn't "me." And then I discovered it ... how to live in harmony with both worlds. How to truly be myself and be content. Now the pendulum is quietly resting in equilibrium.

By "equilibrium" I do not mean "dead." Rather a style which is not dictated by the Community or the vanilla world. A style in which a submissive is, first and foremost, a woman. A woman who has needs and feelings of her own. One who relishes in finding a love note in her dresser drawer resting under a flogger. One who delights in having an unexpected bouquet of flowers with a crop as the centerpiece and with her leather wrist restraints holding the stems together. One who tingles when I sneak up behind her and kiss her neck and nibble her earlobe while telling her that she is my sweet submissive who wants to please me, obey me and serve me as I quietly slip on her leather wrist restraints. One who quietly smiles when we are holding hands in public and the tingle of the wireless remote egg sends chills through her. One who accepts my discipline knowing that it is given with love.

Are these seemingly oxymoronic fantasies? Not in my world. If they are then I, myself, am a complex oxymoronic person.

There are many things that the Community endorses which you will NOT find in my vocabulary including such things as blood, breath, knife, fire, electrical, enemas, Gorean, golden showers, piercing and poly. If these are of interest to you perhaps you are better off by finding a Top.

D/s ia a wide and expansive arena. If the above appeals to you please drop me a note. We can exchange pics and chat and perhaps we may find that we are part of the solution to the meaning of life, the universe and everything.

I am a mature Dom, intelligent, educated, an early retired executive and financially secure. =