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Don't be a douche!
Someone that I was talking with asked what I thought were douche bag moves, so knew what not to do (best line ever btw). So here's my response -
- Don't lie and just be yourself. I can't stand people that try to be something that they aren't. And I'm talking whoppers - don't be married, don't lie about you career (say you are a doctor when you are really premed undergrad), give out pictures that aren't you (or worse, give out pictures of yourself 15 years old), etc. Everyone fibs a little, and if its on par with that extra polish one does on a resume, that's acceptable.
- Don't talk down to me, I'm decently intelligent and catch on quickly, and I will freely admit when I don't know something and would love to learn if you are willing to teach me. But no one likes a lecture or a know-it-all.
- Be a good human. I worked myself up in the world, and nothing irks me more then treating service staff shitty. That was me 15 years ago. Or that was my parents. Open doors for old people. Pick up a dropped toy to the mom that's pushing the stroller. Don't litter (giant pet peeve). Basically act like your mother taught you act.
- Don't play games. If I do something wrong tell me. If you don't understand the gibberish I write, tell me. If I upset you, tell me. I can be very dense sometimes as well. But return emails, texts, and calls in a reasonable time frame. Unless you are deployed or work some where you can't have your personal smart phone on you, there is no reason why I should expect a respond in a timely manner (which also changes with the method of contact). If you aren't interested any more, and I keep emailing you, have the decency to tell me not to waste my time.
- Don't make plans and bail on me. My time is incredibly precious. I work insane hours, I have essentially 2 side jobs, and I train for endurance sports. Emergencies happen and just let me know ASAP. If you are running late, just let me know the new ETA. But don't just bail on me.
*this applies to friends, family, basically anyone that interacts with me. |
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So this has been something I've been struggling with for a while now. I haven't really topped or dominated anyone in years. I have been more on the submissive side of things during that time. And I think it's just time to change that label over. It feels a bit strange though. |
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New haircut. New messages. And a cupcake for dinner. Life is good. |
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More often then I would like to admit, I just stop responding to people. It becomes a chore to email with someone because I can't think of something to write back. Instead of messaging some sad one liner asking why I've stopped responding - send me something of substance.
Sorry guys - but online, women with pulses that don't demand tributes to talk are at a premium. So be interesting. |
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Finally got around to responding to messages. I can be so bad about these things. For those that don't get a response, my apologies. Either I've messed you in the bulk of the messages, or there was nothing that caught my eye on your message or profile.
I will freely admit that I'm a bit of an ageist, so anyone younger then me needs to really be something. I have been told repeatedly that I have an old soul. And typically I have the sleeping patterns of an 80 year old. |
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Spend some serious time at the pool - only to putz around on deck and swim very little. Blarg. Need some excitement in my life. |
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Suuuupp - long hiatus over! Bring on the messages and attention boys! ;) |
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Weekend at Winter Fire was a great learning experience. Some good. Some bad. |
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I use to look forward to meeting new people. Now all i can think about is all the ways any encounter could end up as a Lifetime movie. A simple life goal of mine is never to be interesting in a way that Lifetime wants to make a movie about me.
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I met a man today with biceps that were bigger then my head. Holy bageebers. And he says it's all natural and a product of good genes. |
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Okay, as someone that did financial domination, I'm very confused by dominants that have ads here saying that all they do is finanical domination. Is that really domination or is that just a form of pro dom'ing or even going a step further, just using someone? Seriously, who doesn't like getting presents and attention, but if that's all someone wants and doesn't want to put the ground work to get to know a person, it seems all very fake to me.
But what do I know, I just happen to be one of the few non-pro's that had a submissives beg for me to take thier money. It's not just a game, girls - it's a relationship. Because it if was all about the money, then it's actually the money pigs that have all the power because at any point in time, they can walk away and give thier money to some other gal. |
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Interesting messages ... one to offer me money to dominate him and another ranting against women. Collarme - you never cease to entertain me.
My fingers smell of garlic and it's keeping me awake. I should go to be, since I have to be up in 4 hours to head down to the mall to watch the inauguration. I'm lucky enough to get seated tickets again - so while I will be freezing my ass off, at least I don't have to be standing for 5 hours straight.
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Every year I seem to forget that my pur wand is amazing for non-sexy time. And i think that things gets more non-sexy use then what it was originally made for.
And I forgot that this isn't FL and doesn't update my age automatically. But yes, this year I am turning the be 3-0. I am remembering what my grandmother said to me, if I am not married by the time I am 30, I going to die a spinster. Well considering my friends have started to get divorces, spinsterhood is looking mighty fine right now. And it's a lot cheaper.
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Okay - I'm making an effort to get back out there. I will be at Winter Fire this year abet for a very limited number of hours, but I will be there. |
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So just an FYI guys, I am looking specifically for something more the just play. If I just wanted a play partner, I could just go to the local BDSM club and pick up a guy. I wsnt someone to come home and that will like me regardless of whatever fetish fantasy I could fulfill. Maybe a tall order for the guys in collarme now, but I found it before here.
Hope springs eternal.
I also need to do my part and respond to guys as well. |
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The hardest thing to judge on this site is seeing who you have chemistry with, both online and, more importantly, in person. |
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Slowly trying to get back out to dating and meeting new people. |
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I've had some decent guys messaging me lately, but I just haven't had the omph to reply. I think I'm just feeling out of sorts lately and need to find my missing mojo. |
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I think one of the biggest reasons why I have been so inactive in this world is that the more people I interact with the more I lose faith in humanity of this subsection of the world.
First thing - I am a female. This does mean that you have to woo me and not treat me as the answer to your fantasy. Emails saying that I am your perfect woman doesn't say anything to me. Because I know I'm perfect, but why are you perfect for me? But honestly, we all have flaws.
Second thing - a compatibility of the list of traits online does not mean that we are compatible in person or that we have the chemistry to make it work.
And third - I am just turning into a curmudgeon and don't want to meet new people. It might just be a phase? Who knows. |
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BWHAHAHAHAAH - on twitter someone named - hardwetsuit followed me. Curious on what this was, I was a bit disappointed that it was on my vanilla account selling wet suits. Not a Hard Wet Suit. |
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Went to a bar that had a live disco band playing tonight. And the band was really good. And it also surprised me how much fun I had in a bar. Typically I shy away from crowd and loud places, especially when they are indoors. |
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Wow, there are some angry people out there.
Also the over use of the word "true" and "fake" in this community is annoying. Because someone doesn't fit your definition of top/bottom/dom/sub/whatever does not make that person a "fake" or makes you know the "true" way.
The trick is to find someone that has the same philosophy in the bedroom. And if it was easy, it wouldn't be worth it. At least that's the line I keep feeding myself.
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Happy Birthday to me!!!!! :D I have a pretty awesome life and I'm glad that I get to celebrate it with all my wonderful friends and family. So far, I've had a birthday cake everyday since Sunday - I'm going to have to work out a lot more to keep going - as a friend is going to bake me white cake with lemon curd filling for my party this weekend. I have wickedly blessed. The only thing missing is a partner. But I'm not going to rush it since everything else in my life is pretty good. :) |
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OKay - I spent a day indoors and caught up on my messages. :) But I really want to go outside and do something fun and exciting ... coming up blank though. |
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Oye - started a new job last week and it's seriously kicking my ass. |
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I am very flattered by the messages that I have been getting - but here's an invaluable hint on getting a response from me. Write to me as a human interested on getting to know me as another human. It's pretty clear why we are both here. But when you write me an email along the lines of - "Slut - I am the kick ass person because I say so. And as a dommely dom you need to listen to me." assume that my silence is really saying - "Bite me you insane SOB." |
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Well I have lost 75% of my big toe nail. I don't think that anyone is going to want to worship my feet for a very long time. Apparently it takes around 6 months for toenails to grow back. :( |
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Okay - seriously - the forced internet has made me a greedy internet bitch. Must spend more time online to make up for the 24 hours I was without!!! |
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So my TV and internet was out for the past 24 hours. The sad thing I've learned is how dependent I am on the cable company for entertainment. While I did do other things - like make two types of pie from scratch - I need to go out camping or something to get away from all electronics. |
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So just a few weeks in and I'm already tired of this site. I just want to find a guy that wants to be my boyfriend in very vanilla sense of the word AND that would be sexually open to do whatever we want to do. I understand that for some this is a secret part of your life and that you don't want anyone to know. But that's just not me. While I don't need people to know about my bedroom preferences - but I am not anyone's secret 2am booty call. Best of luck if that's what you are looking for. |
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Apologies to those that are waiting for me to respond to messages - I had an intense race this weekend and I'm just not up to be mentally taxed to come up with my normal super witty responses. But I am excited about future endeavors now that that I've conquered one of my steps to a bucket list item. :)
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It's going to take a super dedicated guy to massage my mangled feet right now. Raced this weekend and now I have 9 blisters on my feet, a chafe rash on my butt and under arm, and I swear I still smell like sweat.
Now who wants to give me a massage and rub my feet! |
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I'm super flattered by all the messages guys - I'm a bit backed up right now and I have a big race this weekend that I'm starting to stress out about. So apologies on the super slow response rate. |
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Oye - so many messages. I'm sloging through them. And also trying to cook up a dish for an office potluck. Anyone want to clean my kitchen? I will send you home with some lime chili chicken breasts with sweet pepper relish. |
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Woah ... apparently there are a whole slew of messages in my bunk mail section. Sorry guys! I do typically try to message back those that spend the time to write something personal to me. Many apologies. Apparently things have changed since the last time I was on collarme.
I am a bit overwhelmed with messages, so if you don't hear from me, feel free to drop me another line. |
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Common email I get of some variation:
Hey baby/slut/sub - I'm free tonight, let's meet up and I will fuck you up. -Dommly Dom
Yeeaaaahhh .... that's the fastest way to get me to delete an email. Granted my profile is still a work in progress due totally due to laziness on my end. But if someone's solicitation for play takes less effort then it does to talk to a girl at a bar, it's out for me. |
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I don't know what I want to do less - update my very dated and nonsensical profile blurb or go running in the heat and humidity. I think I will continue to just to lay in bed instead. |
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Took some time away for real world stuff and now I'm back. |
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Off to the DO Halloween party tonight ... look for the girl in the thigh high white boots. I haven't figured out how I am going to turn that into a kinky doctor look from just a straight up prostitute look, but i'm sure in the next 9 hours I will figure something out. :) |
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What would you do for a Klondike bar?
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Insane weekend of activity. Went sailing, swimming, hiking, dinner with a submissive friend who I marked up her forearms with my nails, and took some amazing shots with my camera with all of them. Also got some presents in the mail. :D All in all an amazing weekend. Now who wants to massage my calves? |
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Having yet another bout of insomnia ... or just the dinner that comprised of chips, salsa, and chicken nuggets wasn't the best idea I had. |
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Well I am finally reintergrating myself to the local scene. If you are going to either the DO and/ or BBN party. Say hi if you see me! |
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So for those that are "friending" me - I'm sorry - but I only accpect if I actually know you. |
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Oh Barneys Fall Shoe catalog - I drool over you like teenage boys drool over the Victoria Secert catalogs. |
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Someone described my ideal relationship as if it was the worst hell she could be in.
Dress up like Donna Reid waiting for her alpha husband to come home.
I don't know why this is considered so anti-feminist. I would love to be able to be in a relationship where a single income could support the family. But I doubt that's going to happen in today's world without making sacricfings that I don't want to make. I love my very yuppie lifestyle. But I'm also realistic that I may be the primary breadwinner of the family and if I am in the position of being able to support the family in a manner that I am accustomed to living - then my spouse will be wearing the poofy dress with a dinner waiting for me when I get home!
Though, if I am dressed up like Donna Reid, my heels better be licked clean before my "alpha" husband gets his dinner in a dog bowl. |
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Wow. Who would have thought that the pur wand would be great for massaging put the knots in my legs. |
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I also need a good massage ... my hamstrings are still fucking tight from the Army 10 miler this weekend. Urg. |
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We are getting closer. One good date so far out of all the duds.
The issue that I am running into is that I need more then just play. I can get enough of that if I want it. But I really want someone that I actually want to hang out with before and after beating the snot out of him. :P |
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I have to say there is a very wide variety of people on this site. I found what I was looking for here once, I'm hoping to find it again. |
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lol ... I couldn't figure out why all these dom males were messaging me and finally I noticed that I picked the wrong box. :P I am mostly a top/domme ... I have bottomed, but it's not something that I am completely comfertable with doing. |
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Normally I love my vanilla job. But this time of year is always hell. Normally I have a big red circle around Oct 1 - if I can just stay sane until Sept 1, life is good. But this year, they extended the deadline for the government fiscal year to Oct 4. So kill me. I have now an additional 4 days to make it through. I need a body massage. :(
At least I have a job, a roof over my head, and food on the table. So I shouldn't really complain about it. Blah! |
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La la la ... I can't wait for this weather to finally break and bring on the cold! I also just ordered my first latex outfit ... totally excited about that coming in. :D |
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I've finally updated my profile! This is a major achievement - if only because it's been like forever since I actually spent time typing something up. |
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I can't seem to wake up early enough to go running. But early enough to goof off online. It could be worse. I could just be late on going to work. |
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Back in the saddle again .... |
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Work work work. Work work work. Work work work. That sums up my life lately. |
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I'm sick enough to try to work from home. :( Just killing time until it's officially 8am and I can start calling vendors and have a "discussion" with them. |
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I've never been sooo glad for the long weekend. I'm dying under the weight of real life getting in the way of good old fashion fun. Also got to go trail running, rock climbing, hang out with friends, and eat some good korean bbq so far. I'm looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings. :) Still trudging through email responses - sorry if you haven't recieved one yet. |
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Hmmm ... I really want a slave to go over to my friend's apartment to feed her cat because I just did it and now my nose is runny and my eyes are watering. :( Stupid cat allergies. |
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The Washingtonian's 2011 Resturant Guide is out! I'm excited that this year that they've branched out with new locations and some more non-western food! Soo excited!!!! |
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Back in DC. :( I miss the fantastic snow of Tahoe. Next up - the debate between traveling to Shanghai or Tel Aviv. Hmmm .... I wonder if I could do both. |
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Seriously CM - you are sensoring the word F-E-T-L-!-F-E ?!? How utterly silly. |
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I have been actively avoiding buying more christmas music on itunes - but some how a Jessica Simpson song got dl'ed with the other music I got. I guess Christmas will not be deined. 2 more days until I travel out to California for some quality ski time! Wooot! |
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I don't know why by when I am reading anything to do with online profiles these lyrics go through my head, even when I am working on my profile.
and may i be frank
first impressions can be tough
and when i saw you i knew it
if your size weren't enough
your last answer just blew it!
and so my dear
so short and stout
you'll never be in
so were kicking you out!
with your form and your fate
oh, it isn't your fault! |
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In lieu of drinking all night long at the various chirstmas parties around town, I am finally having a quiet night home.
I am very flattered with the amount of attention that I have been getting and I apolgize to all those that have written messages that are awaiting responses. And for those that keep suggesting that I get on or go to the local munches - I am on and I use to be somewhat active in the local bdsm scene. But thank you for the helpful suggestions.
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instead of going to work, i just want to stay at home and goof off. Catching up with the trading going on in baseball. Good fo Cliff Lee for signing with the Phillies. I'm totaly jazzed about Jayson Werth coming over to the Nats, but I'm going to missing screaming DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNN at the top of my lungs at the games. I can't wait for it to be baseball season again. |
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BLARG! So it snowed hard (abeit hard for DC standards). But I was not prepared and only had my little commuter shoes one. Suffice it to say my feet were soaked by the time I got home and I fell on my face 3 times and then had to head back out to take my roommate to IAD. But with all that melodrama - I do really love the snow. |
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Oy, so many christmas parties and so little time.
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sooo coooolllllllddd. I got an entry into the cherry blossom 10 miler, but the fear of being forced onto the slow bus of shame is less then the fear of freezing while running. |
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LOL - After my comment about Admirers, I had no adds. Well, I'm glad that people are reading my profile now.
It's cold as balls lately. While normaly I love the cold, it just got too cold too fast. |
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I just bought rock climbing shoes. I am now committing myself to being able to touch the top of the bouldering wall! Bring it on wall! |
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I'm not quite sure what the point of the "Admirers" link/portion is for. Does it allow you to follow someone without ever needing to talk to them? That seems a bit stalker-y. Or does it serve some other function? And how does one become an "admirer"? Well, I'm just going to chalk it up to one of the mysteries of life. |
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I know I have puny little t-Rex like arms ... But after going to the indoor rock climbing gym today, I give t-rexs a bad name. I can't wait to go again next week! |
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