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VeryCherryBaby

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Flog1010

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I don't even know where to begin.
My name is Cherry -- no, it's not my given name. It's one of my nicknames because of my hair -- and I've been involved in the life for thirteen years. Not all of it was what I would describe as "positive," but it made me the person I am today, and for that, I would not change a thing.

I am not what some some (most?) would classify as "mainstream" in the slightest. I keep this side of my life distinctly separate from my vanilla life, so I can be fairly private by habit. That is why you will not see any pictures of me published here. I am certainly not opposed to sharing them; I merely prefer it to be by a one-on-one basis and not up for anyone to see. I am in no way ashamed of this aspect of my life. It's much more than a simple "aspect" to me, but because there are those who haven't a clue about it and never will, I feel the need to compartmentalize it in that way. Would I love to find someone who transcends both BDSM and vanilla into one cohesive relationship? Absolutely. I don't know that it will happen, but that would be my ideal scenario.

BDSM is a part of me, of my soul; it is an intensely personal and cherished part of my life. As much as I love the play aspect -- scenes, implements, et cetera -- (and I really do), the actual relationship between Dominant and submissive is what I value above anything else. It is a beautiful dynamic based on mutual respect and trust and, above all, honesty. Honest and true communication is the basis of everything to me, because without that solid foundation, anything else built will crumble. I can't come to trust you (and vice versa) if I don't know you, and I can't come to know you if we don't communicate clearly to one another what we believe, what is important to us, what we are ultimately looking for, the things on which we will compromise, and the things we never will. How can I come to deeply respect you (and you, me) without understanding your mind and your heart? I don't think that's possible, and even if it is, that's not an avenue down which I'd like to travel. I'm not in such a hurry for this that I feel I -have- to be in a bdsm relationship no matter what. I won't rush it. I won't give over everything right away. How could I and claim it meant anything to me if I give it to a different person in the same manner all the time? I don't think I could.

The bond between a Dominant and His Girl has to be forged carefully and slowly and is continually worked on by both parties, separately and together. It's not all about sex for me. Oh, don't get me wrong. I love fucking as much, if not more, than the next person. *smile* But BDSM does not -have- to include sex for me to consider it valuable. Ideally, the relationship between myself and my Dominant would definitely include some seriously hot sex *g*, but it's more than that to me. I can get hot, kinky sex, but I would want a hell of a lot more from my Master than that, and he should want the same. It's so much deeper than just sex or kink in the bedroom. I've always believed that if he wants more than just my body, then he needs to start with my mind. Once he owns that so to speak...well, the door for everything else is pushed open. Sex is a great, fun, yummy, intoxicating thing but submission is more than that. Dominance is more than that. WE would be more than that.


I'm going to stop rambling for now. I could go on for hours.

My IM Messenger and email are AOL - CaciBelle. It's the same under Yahoo actually, but I don't go on that often.


Turn ons:
Confidence bordering on cockiness, intelligence, strong presence, eyes, intellectual conversation, self-awareness/security such that he seeks out ways to expand himself and his knowledge and doesn't feel it threatens his "position." I like secure men. If you aren't secure in yourself, how can I feel secure with you? Submit to you? Reveal my secrets to you? If you didn't feel secure with me, how on earth could I ask the same of you? I couldn't.
Turn offs:
Pomposity, abject ignorance, body hair (except happy trails and groomed areas), dishonesty, trying too hard, complacency, being too damn self-important to realize learning is a part of growing as a man and as a Dominant. I hate that, "I'm a Dominant; I don't do that" crap. You aren't above anything. You have to first be humble to receive elevation. You got to where you are somehow, and I doubt all of it was pretty. Continuing to learn and grow is vital. How can you push me to learn, to grow with you and improve for you if you think you have no room to improve yourself? "You can't learn a thing you think you know.

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Vicki70
 
 Age: 20
  Connecticut