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I've been stroking to the edge every night and holding myself there for 20 minutes each time. Last night was another rough one, where I felt I could cum any second. In fact, it was the worst one yet. My Mistress wasn't able to speak to me verbally... only type, so it was different from the usual night where we speak to each other the whole time. It seemed a bit colder and less exciting in some ways, and much more dangerous in others. For the whole 20 minutes, which seemed way too long, I heard nothing, and just stroked, and I was waiting for a buzz to let me know when I could stop. I feared my Mistress was just going to let the time run out until I came, and I was losing hope that I'd be able to touch my cock again without setting off an orgasm. Just then, the buzzer finally sounded. I had paused just enough to be able to stroke the final 30 seconds at least gingerly.
Before the session, I was kept in chastity for a day. I was supposed to wear the CB6000 continuously from the last session, but I found the device was waking me up every hour through the night. My bladder would fill, and my cock would start to inflate naturally. The CB6000 would then pull at my balls and wake me up. My Mistress plans to have me keep trying, in preparation for long term chastity. The truth is, I don't like the thing at all and would be just as happy outside of chastity. I want to follow orders though. I do honestly fear in terms of when chastity might be a problem.. if I'm at a club and there's a possibility of dancing, I'm wary of a girl feeling something down there. Also, especially, if I'm on a date. Hopefully my Mistress will be understanding about that, although I don't know how that will work if we ever use numbered locks.
Another thing happened. I was in pain through part of the work day in chastity, because the tip of my cock would rub against my boxers and inflate my cock which caused a throbbing pain in my balls. My Mistress told me eventually my cock would learn to stop reacting that way. I think I learned to not squirm as much, but eventually I noticed my cock was resting peacefully in its confines, behaving the way my Mistress planned it would. This I did find arousing, knowing she was making my cock behave differently, but I dared not get too excited about it, because I didn't want to start squirming again.
So today I'm at work, without chastity, and I notice the same predicament as before. I find my cock rubbing freely into my boxers and I feel I'm ready to explode at any moment. It feels almost out of control. Usually, I can just remain perfectly still and I'll eventually calm down, but I might have to go to the bathroom regularly as well, as a precaution. I don't know if I'll make it through my Mistress's game, but I don't want to lose it while I'm just at my computer.
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Today I went "speed dating". My Mistress instructed me to wear the CB6000 during this, to remind me of her. I was definitely looking forward to carrying out her orders. It turned me on thinking that, if things work out with someone I meet at this Speed Dating, I will have the memory of first meeting her with my Mistress having my cock in a cage. It will be my secret for the rest of my life. The notion of her shaping the rest of my life with her whims.
I also tried out the silicon based lubricant when putting on the CB6000. It worked very nicely. I once again noticed discomfort when sitting down, however. I realized this was because of pubic hairs being caught in the device. I tore and ripped at the hairs until they were severed or removed..it was a bit painful.. but the device was finally no longer yanking at any attached hairs. It felt much more comfortable. I also think I found the right fit.. I'm not too worried about long term usage now, but it was still uncomfortable enough to opt against :)
I was also instructed to buy beads of two colors for a game my Mistress has planned for me. I suspect it will involve me deciding my own fate randomly, based on the color of bead I choose. While my Mistress seems to be a fan of randomness, I'm not sure where I stand on it. Would it be better for my Mistress to decide my fate? Perhaps randomness just to get an idea, then her deciding the details would be enough? Well, I'm not sure, but I have a feeling I'm going to find out.
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Over the course of the last two weekends, I was tasked by my Mistress with doing a complete inventory of my house for insurance purposes. Not just a simple list, but also model numbers, serial numbers, and taking pictures. I got sick the first weekend, and couldn't get close to finishing it. I tend to procrastinate at such enormous tasks, and I unfortunately did on occasion throughout the weekend. Over the course of the second weekend, I was ordered to stroke myself to the edge every hour, in addition to finishing the inventory. I had already not orgasmed all week and I've not stroked that often, that many times... eventually as I grew tired, and my palms were sweaty, it became difficult to arouse myself. I managed. As the deadline approached on the second weekend, my Mistress seemed to get more and more ominous about what would happen to me if the task was left uncomplete another weekend. While I thought I'd finish the task, suddenly it looked like I might not. I raced to the finish line, and by the stroke of midnight, I entered the last items on the list. My Mistress cooed happily at me for my accomplishment, then told me to have my webcam ready around when I was going to bed, along with sloughing cream and a CB6000. When on camera, I was given 5 minutes to cum, while the sloughing cream was on my cock, or else the CB6000 would go on. I thought about how difficult it was becoming to get my erection, sometimes as long as 10 minutes. 2 minutes in, I realized I probably wasn't going to make it. The thought of the CB6000 entered my mind. It turned me on, honestly. I thought the feeling of surrender... that maybe I should slow down, and enjoy being kept in suspense, not cumming, at my Mistress's mercy... and as I thought about this, I suddenly realized I was going to be cumming very soon. Eventually, I spurted profusely. My Mistress was disappointed it only took me 182 seconds, apparently wanting me to have more of a challenge. It might have been a challenge, but I find it very easy to stay aroused given the right motivation.
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I was ordered by my Mistress to don a chastity device, the infamous CB6000, for the first time. It took me a bit to figure it out, and I still perhaps need to refine the adjustments. It chafes a bit, but I have silicon lubricant on order, and I can tell that this thing really can work, and can be worn long term. This turns me on but has me worried as well. I wonder if my growing affection toward my Mistress could be threatened by this, but I am the type that gets aroused by power exchange, and that would mean this could be what I need. Given a choice to be in or out of chastity, I would stay out. Needs are alleviated by masturbation, and I would lose that capability with this form of power exchange. My Mistress is online, so she perhaps will not be able to placate my amplified yearnings. I have all the reason to worry and to doubt, but I will opt to enjoy the ride. It will at the very least be wonderful in retrospect.
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Today I have my first real-time session via webcam with a new Domme. I've done this before, but she certainly is different: a writer, creative, understanding, curious, and certainly experienced. But there's always apprehension about the unknown, and there are so many variables with human contact, especially in BDSM. I'm always the one to throw myself into the fire when I know I'll enjoy something, and this is one of those things. By the way, the movie "The Band's Visit" was excellent. Saw it with a friend this week. Anyway, back to work.
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