"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”
[Anais Nin; 1903-1977]

Vanilla Me
I'm a divorced, intelligent, very young at heart 40 something with a demanding career that I love, a family I adore, a rather twisted sense of humour and lots of independence. I have discovered so much about myself as a person over the last few years. Some things I am immensely proud of, and some I am not. I am me, I guess, and trying to change things or even erase them for good can be hard.

As far as BDSM goes
I love being completely submissive at times. I love my rather harsh little dominant streak, and I love D/s. Unfortunately recent events have taught me there are more important things in life for some, and they can't be ignored, no matter how much your heart wants it to be different. D/s is a road of glorious 'Ups' and utterly heartbreaking 'Downs', and along the way we learn, sometimes quite painfully, how to keep taking the next step.

So, here I am once again. What I have given and am still willing to give is more than most. What I am ultimately seeking is simple, yet complex. It can't be explained in a few simple paragraphs of text.

What I do know is that you will be prepared to give me equally in return;

Honesty: It seems to be a rare trait these days, but I refuse to be lied to any more.

Commitment: I don't want to share you, either knowingly or unknowingly.

Intelligence: The most powerful tool I possess is my mind, and you will need to stimulate it before all else.

Patience: Learning to trust again will take time, and your continued understanding.

Friendship: I need to be able to share every part of my life with you, both the smiles and the tears.

Love: Ultimately I cannot live without it. If all you can offer me is a casual affair then please move on.

Things I love
Literature, scary movies, exotic food, my family, fishnet stockings, driving my new car much too fast, loud dance music, French manicures, my fabulous career, Coco Mademoiselle, fuck-me heels, rough dirty sex, Smirnoff Black Label, my GHD hair straighteners, great big hugs, spanking, rope marks, my Wii, karaoke, pink marshmallows, my iPod, Eastenders, Piano, swallowing, sunrise, Evenescence, hot wax, very good wine, amateur dramatics, my D&G sunglasses, real leather, swimming, having my hair pulled, F1, home cooking, kissing, my thigh length boots, coffee cake, losing my breath, dark chocolate, fisting, Opera, Roulette.

Things I hate
Feeling vulnerable, laziness, spiders that scurry, bad hygiene, hummus, public transport, white chocolate, liars, stupidity, bad sex, cruelty to animals, people who leave the toilet seat up, stilton, child abuse, forgetting my umbrella, tights, my ex-husband, The CSA, Pernod, Coronation Street, married men who pretend to be single, smoking.

Words people have used to describe me
Intelligent, artistic, demanding, carnal, bitchy, incorrigible, feisty, vulnerable, stubborn, loving, horny, adept, musical, sexy, fastidious, submissive, self-centred (ouch), generous, confident, determined, incredible, dominant, buxom, dissolute, bloody-minded (ooo harsh), impulsive, vibrant, utterly impossible (as if!!).

I used to regularly attend The Bristol Munch, although I haven't been for a while now. I also want to start going back to SWAMP and make more of an effort to attend Club Orgasm and MDS.

So, I'm back here hopefully to make a few new friends, catch up with some old ones, and learn a bit more about myself and the scene. Oh, and to behave myself this time. *Grin*

•°•.•°• MsC •°•.•°•