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| Ive rarely felt like part of a larger kink community. I had power fantasies pretty early, certainly before I recall being interested in sex, and grew up with an overt and purposefully higher level of shame around all things sexual, but at the same time, it was the 70s. I did find a welcoming and eye-opening group when I was first exploring online, but have only ever attended a handful of munches. Even though Id enjoyed ordering around and tying up my first girlfriend, I was pretty stunned to discover that my abduction fantasies, for instance, could be attractive and exciting to anyone, and I think I mightve stayed in a period of disbelief longer than I realized. The shame that some have had to bear seems to foster an overeagerness to be recognized in some way in the community, or at least, Ive been wary of this tendency in myself when it comes to proudly identifying with or proclaiming my kink. Ds can come to resemble a religious order for some, and... this used to bother me for some reason? Oh no, theres personality cults? Like there is in every other thing?
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