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My username says it all. I have a love for somebody that is not returned and it seems never will be. He is 19. my neighbour (my best friend's son) and somebody I absolutely pine for. I have done all I can but he is seemingly not interested. I feel rejected, thrown-away, stupid; not good enough.
Inadequate.
So coming here is a way to 'drown my sorrows' as it were. I am here to submit to a man on any terms set out. By submit I mean follow his orders, comply to all his wishes, dress, act and live under his conditions set out.
I am past caring about my life. I want to give it away. I have failed, I feel useless.
AM useless.
I am drawn to humiliation like a drug, why else would I have spent 12 months throwing myself at somebody who wasn't interested? BIG fail. And he has told all his friends, I feel a laughing stock. AM a laughing stock.
I am divorced with a son in Afghanistan (20) and a daughter (19) at uni. I work as a receptionist in a car dealership. I am a homeowner and I live alone.
Very alone.
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