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TwistedHeart74
Hetero Female Dominant, 38,  New Albany, Indiana
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TwistedHeart74

TwistedHeart74 - photo 1

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sacredeagle

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 TwistedHeart74

 Dominant Female

 New Albany 

 Indiana

 5' 11"

 38

 Hetero

 Indigenous

 09/17/09

 03/14/13

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Submissive Male

 Lives For:

 Chastity

 Knife Play

 Cooking

 Gardening

 Tattoos

 Occultism

 Paranormal

 Writing

 Wicca

 Loves:

 Begging

 Blindfolds

 Bondage

 Canes and Crops

 CBT

 Collars

 Exhibitionism

 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Local BDSM Community

 Hair Pulling

 Housework

 Leashes

 Massage (Getting)

 Obedience Training

 Orgasm Control

 Spanking

 Speech Restrictions

 Aromatherapy

 Body Art

 Meditation

 Poetry

 Female Supremacy

 Eighties Music

 Heavy Metal Music

 Opera

 Druidism

 Neo-Paganism

 Likes:

 Cages

 Corsets

 Foot Worship

 Gags

 Masks (On Partner)

 Masks (Wearing)

 Munches

 No Strings Housework

 Objectification

 Plastic Wrap

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay

 Public Play

 Sensory Deprivation

 Wax play

 Whips

 Astrology

 Archaeology

 Intellectual Discourse

 Cuckolding

 Vampirism

 Alternative Music

 Classical Music

 Curious About:

 Alternative Medicine

 Herbalism

SadisticDomina looking for masochistic submissive/slave. Male or female, it doesn't matter. I am poly, and that isn't an option. Meaning: that will not change. I am looking for someone who will fit into my life and become part of my family. I'm not leaving my s.o. so don't let that thought enter your head. Believe me when I say you cannot change my mind. I'm NOT, repeat NOT looking for sexual partners, and what that means is if you're looking to get laid just move on. Sex is earned,not your right as my property. No game players. No I live at home in my moms basements. Be independent,strong and willing to obey and serve beczuse you have the drive and the need. I'm NOT looking for newbs. Know who and what you are and where you fit or don't waste my time. I am active in the Louisville community and expect you to participate with me..
Friendship is welcome. Can you give the definition of FINE? :)

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Journal Entries:
12/10/2012 11:42:22 PM
I'm a sadist. If you aren't sure what that is, look it up. I take GREAT joy in your pain. It will make me laugh, it will make me smile and it will rev me up. But not for you. I don't want to fuck you. Hell, I'd rather beat you bloody then fuck on top of you. Wow...that sounds evil doesn't it? That's because I'm a SADIST!! I will not kill you or play you beyond your limits...but I'm going to push those limits. I'm going to scare you. Why? Because I'm a SADIST!! Not a cuddle-buddy or a fluffy dom. I'm just not.

12/7/2010 6:19:30 AM

Perhaps I'm not clear enough in my profile, so I thought I'd put some information here.  If you're not in Kentucky or southern Indiana, I'm really not interested in talking to you.  I don't want to have to wait for 3 hours or more for you to get here when I want you here.

 

If you don't know what you want or who you are, I'm not interested in even talking to you.  I don't have the time or inclination to teach you that, and if you're in your 30's and don't know that already...Wow.  Just wow.

 

What I want:

 

To find a submissive or slave I can train to be who and what I want them to be.  I've listed some of the characteristics I'm seeking, so if we don't have those things in common, don't waste my time. 

 

Someone who understands that submission is more than kink.  That sometimes you do things you don't necessarily like simply because I tell you to.  How hard is that?

 

Someone who understands that I'll meet your needs through you meeting mine.

 

Someone who understands that this is about much more than sex, and if sex is all you're after, again, don't waste my time.

 

This is more complex to me than just slap and tickle.  I want something more than the superficial.

 


7/30/2010 7:32:23 AM
I'm baaaaaaaack :)  Did you miss me? Awww, I missed you too.

So let me begin here.  I'm a switch.  I.E. I go both ways in D/s and S/M.  Yeah, I'm greedy like that.  I've noticed a trend, and I find it...interesting.

Alot of fellows I've talked lately have dominant on their profiles. So I think to myself.."Ok, I like dominants, I'll chat."  Only to find out 5, 15, 20 minutes into the conversation that low and behold....they are switches.  Now, why don't you just put that on your profile?  Why not be upfront about what it is you REALLY want?

*SIGH* I like switches. I do. But damn, there is nothing to be ashamed of because you like both sides of the flogger.  There seems to be a stigma attatched to male switches.  Why I'll never know.  But come on lads, step up. Be yourself.  Don't hide behind the "I'm a male, therefore a dominant" line of shit. 

5/4/2010 7:22:13 AM
I suppose we all have moments where we actually SEE what's going on around us.  Where we notice the little things that have nagged at the back of our minds for awhile, waiting for that perfect moment to slap us into awareness.

I've had one of those recently.  It was quite shocking really. 

You know, there's a fine, fine line between love and lust.  Which one came first?  When did it change?  When did the two twist up into one very complicated mess?  Why?

What do you do to seperate the two again so as to not further damage it?  Which one means more?  Can you ever really let go of one completely enough to hold onto the other?  Do you really want to?

I'm complicated as all hell.  I don't trust many people, I have a bubble I don't like having invaded.  I despise crowds and wish I could live in the middle of the woods somewhere.  I don't like being touched by very many people (read that as the only ones I can stand to touch me are a few family members and 2 friends).

Alot of that has to do with where I've been mentally and emotionally the past year.  It takes ALOT to get past my walls, and quite frankly many don't try.  I don't put up barriers on purpose, it's more a gut reaction. 

On the other hand, I can be needy as hell.  I have a touch fetish (you see the conflict here yes?).  I'm very tactile, fingers through the hair, running down over the back, rubbing a leg etc and so forth. 

I look at touch as a bonding thing, a way to get into my bubble.  It's an exchange on a deep level to me, a sharing of energy, of space, of emotion and time. 

I haven't played in quite awhile, so I'm not sure how this will translate when I do.  I'm super picky about play partners.  I haven't had one since I moved up here from the south.  Nobody on the receiving end anyway.

I'm not a nice person most of the time.  I have a biting sense of humor, a sharp tongue and little tolerance for nonsense.  But at heart....there's so much more to me than meets the eye. 

I'm a closet romantic.  But romance to me isn't typical to what it is to other women.  A guy I dated last year took me to get a piercing, I thought that was romantic as hell.  I'm not a hearts and flowers type.  Again, complex as hell.

I wonder if there is anybody out there who sees me, really sees me.   Will they ever?  I'm not whining about my life, it's had it's ups and downs just like anybody elses'.  I would like to find the happy, the place where I can be utterly happy, have that deep down contentment that you spend so long looking for.  Have that person in my life who understands that if you don't give me a reason to question your loyalty, I won't.  That to get trust you have to earn it.  That there's nothing wrong with flirting, as long as you don't push it to the point you create doubt.  That I have no problem with swinging, playing with others etc. and so forth as long as I KNOW I come first. 

It's not hard to show that, it really isn't. 
But then again...maybe it is.  I don't know anymore.  I've found myself in a strange place, somewhere I've never been before and I'm struggling with it.  I wish this shit came with instructions, a guide or book to tell me how to handle it all.  Instead I'm stumbling around a round room that's pitch black trying to find a lightswitch.

I realize you don't give a rip about any of this crap, and that's okay.  I'm not writing it to you, I'm writing it to get it out of my head so when things are better I can look back and go..."Yup, I remember that". 

I have a weakness for badboys. 

There you have it.  Brutal honesty.  Yet another reason to run for the hills.  I'm not going to play games with you or anybody else here or r/l.  I'm not going to put out there that I'm perfect and flawless and don't come with baggage.  Hell, I'm 36, of COURSE I have baggage.  It is what it is. 

1/29/2010 10:13:00 AM
Do you ever wonder how you got to be where you are?  In life, in love, in your job...all those things?  Have you ever stopped a moment to really look and see where you are?  When was the last time you took a good, hard look at yourself and your situation?
We're always looking at others, picking apart their lives without so much as glancing at our own.
Are you anywhere near where you hoped you'd be 5 years ago?  Have you made significant changes or are you just floating along?  Have you figured out where you'll be in 5 years and how to get there?
I turned my eyes inward, and began picking myself apart recently.  Some things, I really like and intend to keep.  Other things I truelly abhore about myself and they must go.  Still other things are in flux, and I'm pushing them to go the way I want them to.
I'm in college, working hard to get where I want to be in my career.  I know where I'll be in that area in 5 years.
Some things happened to me in the past year that MADE me take a good, hard, long look at myself and my life.  I'm making changes, finding I have a much lower tolerance for certain things than I used to.  I've also found that I can tolerate things I NEVER thought I would before. 
I wonder who I am today, who am I evolving into?  Do I like this person?  Sometimes the answer is yes, other times not so much. 
I'm a complex creature, difficult to decipher sometimes, other times I'm clear as glass.
I guess it's up to the person looking at me to decide..........

11/3/2009 12:34:23 AM
What is it about new experiences that make us change our perceptions of things?  What is it about experiencing something not so new, just done differently that does the same thing?

I am sitting here trying to puzzle through some thoughts and am finding it difficult to resolve some of them.

I spend quite a bit of time in my head, my sister tells me that's because I'm a Pisces and a Tiger.  Sometimes I wonder if I overthink things.  But I've also found that until things are settled in my mind, I'm unable to accept them or let them go.

I think everybody has issues.  Some are just better at hiding them than others.  Sometimes we think we've dealt with them only to find out we haven't, we've just buried them.  You get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, that churning "Oh gods what am I doing" feeling. 

Memories overwhelm you, you are thrust back to a point where suddenly you're THERE and not in the present.  Feelings get jumbled, and your mind just feels as if it's splintered.  Suddenly your chest gets tight, you can't swallow, feel like you can't breathe...you shake, feel sick, feel scared, feel EVERYTHING. 

What do you do?  How do you handle it?  Can you move through it?  Can you be pulled back from that particular abyss and be brought back into THIS moment?  Or do you end up being left to flounder through it on your own?  How do you deal with it afterwards?

This is what happens after I talk to my sister...she makes me face things, question them.  In return, the anonymity of the net let's me question YOU. 

If you want to share, share. If you don't, don't.  I'd be interested to see what you have to say though, how you deal with things.

10/21/2009 10:51:18 PM
An FYI here:


Females of the Australian redback spider, one of the world's most poisonous spiders and a close relative to the black widow, demand 100 minutes of courting or else they usually cannibalize their male suitors, research finds.
Proving that bigger isn't always better in the mating game, the tiniest of males sometimes approach female redbacks after offering the critical 100 minutes of wooing and successfully mate without being eaten.


 "If you court me inappropriately, no matter what your orientation, I will fucking eat you. No. I'm not being figurative."

So sayeth my good friend J. :)

10/20/2009 7:43:39 AM
Just because I love this song...

You're gonna miss this

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These Are Some Good Times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

~Trace Adkins~ You're gonna miss this


And this one :

I want to taste you but your lips
Are venomous poison
Youre poison running through my
Veins
Youre poison, I dont want to
Break these chains
Your mouth, so hot
Your web, Im caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat

~Alice Cooper~ Poison


I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

~Rascal Flatts~ I'm moving on

10/14/2009 12:14:43 PM
Here we go...hang on here, read it to the end...don't judge me, just read it and think about it...


Don't try to change me.  What you see is what you get.  I am who and what I am and I'm not about to change for you.
I wear jeans and biker boots.  Not skirts and heels.
My hair is short and I LIKE it that way.
I wear make-up, sure...but I like the goth look more than the secretary look.
I'm a watcher, not so much a talker.
I love to laugh, I hate to cry.  
I will NOT open up to you right away.  I've been stomped on too many times to just trust you the first time I meet you.  Besides, I'm not an idiot.  It takes time to build trust and if you're not willing to take that time, to hell with you anyway.
I'm not your playtoy.  You can't dress me up and pose me like a Barbie doll.  Believe it or not, I have a mind of my own!  (Shocking I know!)
I choose who I submit to.  You can't coax it out of me, force it out of me or demand it of me.  If you have that thing that attracts me, that personality that just draws me in...that Alpha type...then there's a strong possibility that I'll be attracted to you.  You can't seduce me with your words, I was a bartender and I've heard it all.
And here's another thing...let's be honest here.  If I'm not sexually attracted to you, it's not going to work.  Doesn't matter if you look like Adonis, or you're built more like the Pilsbury doughboy.  It's what's inside that holds me.  Sure, I have certain physical traits I like, but there will come a point where the physical fades, so you'd best have something else.  
My best friend is a guy.  Yeah, you read right.  A guy.  I love him, he loves me.  We're very close.  We always will be.  If that bothers you, too bad.  He's in my life to stay, period.  He's the one who healed my heart after a hellatious divorce, he showed me how to laugh again, how to have fun again, and how to be free again.  I owe him a huge debt. 

Okay then, I've had my little rant.  Judge me or not, I could care less.  I've been sick the past few days and just cranky as hell. 

10/2/2009 6:35:17 AM
I don't need a white knight to come riding to my rescue.

I want a dark knight to sweep me off my feet.

A man who isn't afraid to embrace the shadows.

One who knows how to give me what I need.

A bloody kiss under the full moon.

A bite upon my throat.

A slightly twisted being

One who will tread where angels fear to go.

He'll take my darkest fantasy

And bring it into the candle light

He'll show me what it means to BE

And to him I'll surrender without a fight.

Not looking for a hero

Of the garden variety type.

I want a dark Prince

Who embraces my darker side.

9/30/2009 5:47:35 AM
The storm had been brewing all day, it made me feel tense, high strung, jittery.  You watched me, patiently waiting.  As the sky darkened and the sun finally set, the storm burst into life.  Lightening lit up the night sky, making it brighter than the day.  When the thunder crashed I jumped, feeling like my skin was too tight.  Still you waited.
My hands were shaking, the air seemed to be charged, I couldn't settle anywhere.
You waited a little longer.
When I finally felt like I was about to scream from the tension the storm had created, you reached out to me, grasping my hand in yours and pulling me to my knees before you.  Your hands were firm but gentle as they cupped my face.  Instant eye contact, I would never dream of looking away.  You smiled softly at me and spoke one word "Peace". 
It was as if a switch had been thrown within me, I was centered completely on you.  My entire body goes soft, I lean into your touch.  Your lips were cool against my feverish skin and I melt into your embrace.
One word, that's all it takes for you to give me what I need.  It isn't shouted, or growled or harshly spoken.  Just a whisper will do.  One word and you restore balance to my being, calm the racing of my heart, still the chaos of my mind.
That is the power you have, that is how devoted I am, that is how strong you are, that is how confident I am in you.
I wish I knew you, I wish you were here right now, I wish I could hear your voice, I wish I knew your name......

9/23/2009 4:37:46 PM
Here is something else I wrote, I hope you enjoy.



                       I met you...

I couldn't see your face, just a shadow. You were strong, your arms tight around me. Your scent enveloped me, making me dizzy. Your hair tickled my cheek as you bent my head back. I felt your breath a second before your teeth bit into my throat. My knees went weak and you held me up. Your tongue teased my vein, sliding back and forth, up and down. I shivered in your embrace, unable to stop it.

Your voice was soft and full of tenderness as you ordered me to bend over. I lay flat on my stomach on the bed, feet planted firmly on the floor. You kicked my ankles and I spread my legs wider, wider until my inner thighs were aching. Your hand was so warm against my skin as you trailed your fingers up and down my spine.

The darkness burst into light behind my eyelids when your quirt came down on my back. I arched into the strokes, they blurred together so quickly...My moans made you chuckle, when the colors exploded in my sight and when I finally screamed you crooned your approval.

Quirt, nails, teeth...one thing to another until my knees gave out and I sagged to the floor. You knelt beside me, pulling me into your embrace as I fell into the abyss. Your kisses were like rain on my cheeks, licking the tears you found.

I awoke hearing your whispered "Beautiful bloody girl" carried from my dream like a phantom scent on the wind. My whole body trembled when I realized it was just a dream...just a dream...


9/23/2009 4:17:03 PM
A poem I wrote...I hope you enjoy :)


                  Chances Are....


Chances are things may not work out, chances are they might.

Chances are you will find happiness with another, chances are your happiness is right in front of you.

Chances are you're a strong person, chances are you're scared.

Chances are you love me, chances are that you're just in lust.

Chances are she's waiting for you to call, chances are I'm waiting for you to come home.

Chances are you will fuck her, chances are I'll stay celibate for you.

Chances are you'll never figure this out, chances are you will.

Chances are secretly you hope I'll wait forever, chances are I won't.

Chances are I'll find someone else, chances are it will break my heart.

Chances are you'll let me walk away, chances are you'll regret doing it.

Chances are you'll read this and figure out who I am and why I wrote it, chances are you won't.

So many chances, so many opportunites, so many paths to choose from...will you take the chance? Or will you let it pass you by once more?


9/22/2009 8:27:08 AM
Ok, don't know exactly why I should have to say this, but here it is:

I use safewords. I will continue to use safewords.  This is not really negotiable. It would take alot of trust and alot of time for me to consider giving them up.

I will not be manipulated into giving them up. You can't talk me into it either, or make me feel I'm weak for having them.

Granted, if someone is intent on hurting me I know they won't work worth a damn.  They are there for my peace of mind. So suck it up buttercup, because until I'm absolutely sure of you and where it's going between us, there's no way in hell the words go.

9/18/2009 11:17:36 PM

The feel of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic.

Do YOU know who said this?  Come on, let's see if you have the same sort of warped humor I do.
Being able to laugh is important, it's necessary. Laughing at yourself is a good trait, because believe you me, you do some funny stuff at time!


9/18/2009 7:06:17 AM
Ok, been here only a day and feel the need to put this here.
If you are local to me I'd love to hear from you.  If you live across the country, across the planet please don't waste my time or yours.  You would have to be one hell of a man for me to want to relocate.

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