Life is painful; Suffering is optional. ~Sylvia Boorstein
Words that I live by. Life is about opportunities with no regrets. Suffering can only ever truly be self inflicted. I consider regrets suffering: a result of one's own choice(s). I am not cruel nor unkind, usually, however I -am- a sinic in that I don't have time to waste on other's delusions. If you cannot face and interact with reality, you may not face and interact with me.
In this life, the one mistake everyone will make is to stay silent. It never hurts to say a kind word, even if you don't know what that kind word should be. It rarely hurts to offer advice (provided it is offered without hidden motive). Despite the immediate results... one will -always- benefit from expressing one's self in a relationship of anykind (think on that and get back to me if you still don't understand). It may feel embarassing... but admitting when you are over your head is the quickest route to averting disaster. A word of advice from this kitten: The three most difficult things to say are "I'm sorry;" "Help me;" and "I love you." Stop to think why you're saying them first... but never assume someone else knows that's what you want to say: they're not mind readers.
Artinthedark is mine and I am possessive of him (or her depending on how my little one is dressed). He is making wonderful progress under my care and I will not tolerate anyone interfering with that progress. At this time he is without restriction from me; though that does not speak of the restrictions he may choose to place upon himself.
I do not actively seek anyone. People are together because they choose to be, not because they need to be. It is that power of choice; the will to choose based off of -honest- desires that helps to define us to ourselves, and thus, to the world. If you cannot make the leap in your own mind... I cannot help you any further.
Please do not take my words as a dismissal of you as an individual. If you have a though -do- message me. If you have a question on my thoughts... -do- message me. I keep an open policy: that means unless 100% painful to discuss, I will discuss it with you or anyone else.
With Respect, Tsuriai
11/28/2009 11:14:46 PM
I can say I have made an honest choice. How do I know this? My heart does not ache nor does my mind cry out for something I do not have. All things considered... my choice was inevitable... I just went down kicking and screaming... though in the end... I was honest with myself.
Lesson 2 from Jameson: "If you cannot be honest with yourself, you cannot be honest with anyone else."
No truer words ever spoken.
11/22/2009 12:09:02 AM
On a different website, indeed it feels as a different life from the one I live now... I kept a blog to share the lessons of my life in the broadest terms in hopes that others would be able to learn and apply them as well. It has been years at this point since I have written of my lessons... yet oddly enough I have an urge to share at this point.
"People are together because the want to be, not because they need to be. That is foolishness and a road to disaster in any relationship." ~Jameson, my Teacher.
Only now, years out of his care, do I come to a degree of understanding of what he truly meant. Though he was a wise man and had much to impart to me from a lifetime of ever-changing circumstances and a wide range of experiences most soap operas could not even begin to cook up... the lesson(s) must always wait upon the ability of the student to absorb them. It is a credit to his teaching that years later I remember the lessons and can now apply them.
Living in a world where so much now is based off of need rather than desire... we tend to lump together even those things over which we have the power of choice into the 'need' category. A relationship that begins in 'need' rather than 'desire' is doomed. I see so many saying, "I need a submissive/dominant...", and I mark my calendar, make a bet with myself, and usually win as to how long the relationship will last when they 'find one'.
I myself am guilty of this. When my teacher and I parted ways I needed someone/thing to fill that void in my heart, for I loved (and still do) him dearly and for many reasons. The most profound of these reasons: he saw me. He valued every part of me for the simple reason I had entrusted every part of me to him and understood the power over me I had given him, though I was too naive to understand it in the beginning myself. That extent of that understanding came much later.
I 'found someone' on this very website, no less. I am ashamed to say, someone to fill the void in my heart... and yet viewing myself objectively... there never was a void even though at that point it felt as though my heart was shattered and I cried myself to sleep for weeks. I no longer believe that it left that space in my heart; broke off a piece of my spirit forever gone from me. I now believe I was mourning the change in my life and endulging in self pity of the grossest order: I allowed my submissive nature to become a need... and that is not what I was taught.
I now face a choice.
The question will be this: When I have to make that choice can I make it honestly?
To this point I have yet to show the ability to do so. I can justify my choices until I am blue in the face, but what is done is passed and I need to look to the future now and move on; carry my lessons with me as Jameson's first lesson taught me. If I can do that... well... "...honesty is the path to satisfaction".
Now that I have come this far in my understanding, I have much to consider before I can say "I have made an honest choice."
~a kitten
6/2/2009 12:46:16 AM
I had someone come into my store two months ago who now is in my life... both as a cohort in crime and my dear pet. I feel so protective of my little one, yet want to push her so badly at times. I do find it difficult sometimes to know when to do either, but so far I feel I've done right by my little one.
They have become a joy in my life and an ease in my day to day.
"Whether you think you can or you cannot... either way you are right." ~Henry Ford
2/16/2009 9:04:37 PM
*blinks*......
Otay... so we had an issue with the electrical system in the new store... well... Stormy came over and we had a lovely little discussion about what a hitachi wand would do on 220V rather than your usual American 115V..... well....
Needless to say by the end of the discussion... with Stormy rolling in laughter in the doorway, Karen ready to pee her pants on the floor and me rapidly suffocating with laughter... we all had visions of girls being launched through the front window and clear across the street...
So... we are now going to name the sport...
HITACHI LAUNCHING ! ! !
1/4/2009 1:46:59 AM
Another tale from the misadventures of Jozsef and The Hobbit. Yeah Propellers!
So... how does a night start out with sheer boredom mixed with tomales and lead to the greatest discovery of this century? And what is this discovery you might ask??? I will tell you..... but shhh... it's a secret!
Ghandi was an old white woman ! ! !
Needless to say it was a seemingly endless journey fueled by Malibu and guided by that noblelest of leaders Captain Morgan... frought with dangers previously unknown to man... leading to the far reaches of the public bathroom... through hostile tribes of kareoke singers... far beyond the winding Yellow River and past the bulging mounds of Cleavage Pass...
Just when all hope was lost to solving the puzzle to the greatest mystery of this century... A song from above decended from on high to guide us in our dark hour of need: The Memory Remains. It was a sign of divinity and the clues fell into place one precious piece at a time... the video as proof... our own ears unable to lie when our eyes saw false.
The chanting melody at the very end told us all we needed to know and the vision burst upon our minds with a blinding light and in the fading afterglow of the final headshot we saw Ghandi as the old white woman sang her mournful tale of loss and despair laced with a hint of pinnapple juice. And thus the truth was made known to the worthy... Ghandi was an old white woman in disguise.
Firstly... no boy or girl gets commanded/directed/ordered by anyone but their owner. It's that simple. Anyone assuming otherwise can go plunge their head into the toilette for a nice cool drink cleaner than their mind. A submissive/slave/boy/girl/whatever is a valued property to their owner, not a doormat. They ought to be able to open their pretty little lips and say what is on their mind without fear or hesitation and share their most valued commodity: their thoughts. If the thoughts were so unimportant, dominants could just go get blow up dolls and get satisfaction that way.
Now... there are some dynamics that -do- flow that way, but those are usually agreed upon -before- the behaviors of the relationship are enacted between the two. That is fine. But until an arrangement of some kind has been reached and mututally agreed upon, whether temporary or permanent... they have -no- claim on your time, service or anything else for that matter. *climbs off the soapbox* ~a kitten
9/13/2008 10:46:27 AM
It's funny how when you've been awake way too long, and the caffeine is crashing out of your system, you've made the mistake of eating and only the power of nicotine sustains you that the oddest epiphanies can hit you from out of nowhere.
Every person has the ability to dominate or submit at will. It has nothing to do with genetics, nature, or the demands of anyone else. It is solely based on your own will and your own desire (not to mention level of masochism) as to how you will be to another person, situation or idea.
BTW... Dominants... are just deeper masochists with bigger egos... subs are just boys and girls who want a stronger influence in their life... and switches... really do have the best of all worlds. They're not schyzophrenic, I swear lol.
~a girl's thoughts, by a kitten
8/21/2008 11:45:59 AM
You cannot give to others what you cannot give to yourself. It all starts with patience... either you have it or you don't.
