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CecilyDeVille
I think I've been submissive for as long as I can remember. Some of my first fantasies that I can recall have me on my knees or under control of a man. Basically I've known for a long time that I crave submission and the control of another however my boyfriends past have only indulged me occasionally in the bedroom. While I love sex, there is so much more to submission than that. I crave the mental aspect that goes with it as well. I believe the brain is the best sexual organ we possess, it all starts there for me. If someone can captivate my mind, be it with dirty talk or intellectual discourse (preferably both), that's half the battle. I am an incredibly self-sufficient, independent, outspoken and strong woman. I want to find that one person I can give that all up to. To be able to let go and not have to think, to just do as I'm told and please. To come home at the end of the day and fall on my knees and just let go. Maybe one day stay on my knees 24/7 for the right person. If anyone in the Portland area know of any munches or meet-ups I'm interested in attending and getting to know people and learn. "I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don’t mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don’t mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling, be all that I am capable of doing, but I am going to be pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." - Anais Nin "What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction." — Chuck Palahniuk
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