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I wanted to Say Happy Birthday to Myself and I know now I have someone now in my life and she is a Switch to me and I am happy. She was Vanillia and I got her into this lifestyle. She is also the Love of my life. I will not trade her in for anything. Last Thursday I did something special for her and her daughter and got their Nails done for Valentines Day. She know about my Fetishes and this Past Weeken I had a Party and she was part of my Scene. She Loves the Trash Bag with me and I want to be her Sub for Life. |
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Well I been on here for a while and I have met some nice Dommes and ones I just thought about things in life first. Life is Hard and if you are not together then you need to get yourself together. If you are a Fake on Here you need to STOP Playing Games with People on here that is Serious about having a LTR with someone in the Lifestyle. If you are Serious about having a LTR with someone you need to be Honest with them. I am Still not Happy in my Life but I will be soon. I had a Wonderful Mother and I Lost Her 2 Years ago on Feb 19 2009. She was 63 years old. I just want to be with someone that wants to be My Mistress/Domme, Partner, Friend, Wife, and someone to Cuddle with at Night. |
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Well yesterday was "Moms" Birthday and i know it was hard for Dad for her not to be there. Well i just want to say I Love you and Miss you " Mom" 9/10/1945 - 2/19/2009 R.I.P. |
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I am might be moving back to NJ where my Family is. Since My Mother Passed away in Feb. I really miss my Family. I know that my brother will enjoy me coming back to NJ to be around him and the kids. I know i am leaving some friends here in Va but i want to be happy for the rest of my life. I know i will miss them. I hate Argue with people and i just want to be around Family right now. 3 |
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It is now 5 months that my Mother had passed away and 2 months after my Mother passed My Grand Mother Passed away too. I am getting back on my feet again. I had a friend over this past weekend and she told me to let go of all the things that happened in the past and be happy with who you are. She is a Great Submissive to be around. I told her that i was thinking about being where my mother is, she told me not to feel that way and be happy where i am now. I have Friends here that care and love me. |
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I wanted to make this day Special to someone that i will miss. On Thursday Feb 19 2009 My Mother had Passed away. She was in a very bad Car Accident and was killed. I know God needed a another Angle and i know she is better place. She will be missed and loved. I hope that things with me get better because they are getting worse. I knew when i got a phone call from my brother that thursday that i would have to leave for a while for my dad. He and my brother and sister are the only ones i have left. |
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I had moved out of Pa now because of things in my life were going wrong. I met someone that i really Loved and wanted to be with for the rest of my life and i left every thing for her because it was love at first sight. I really thought she was the one for me when she put me on her car insurence the second day i met her. I had one thing and that was others in the house hold getting in between us and breaking us up. I still care about her but i gave her a Birthday present and left on her B-day. Pa was ok but i was bored wanted to snuggle with her and be her Slave forever. She gave me a Ring over a year ago and i still think about her but i know i am moving on with my life and with my dad being sick and if her goes i know my mom will need me but with out my dad/father i feel that he done so much for me and i know it will be hard for me to understand he is gone. With the changes i am going thou i want to be with my dad/father when he is gone. |
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It has been awhile since i have wrote in my Journal and i am upset and depressed with myself because of the way i was with someone and it hurts me because i am the one that caused all of these problem with someone that i really care about and i just wanted to be with her. Sometimes kids could be good and sometimes kids can just be in the middle of a Relationship. I love Kids and i lost mine with someone and to this day it hurts me inside. I just want to be with someone for the rest of my Life for Better or for Worse. And Money to me means nothing. it is what is in the Heart that counts. I know i do miss being put in a Trash Bag and seeing those long Polished Finger Nails on someone. I really love Getting them done for her. |
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Sometimes when thing are going ok and then when you think that things will be better , they go wrong and things start to happen to you. Life Sucks but it is who I am and what i am that makes me a better Person. I know that when somebody cares and loves you they are always by your side. Sometime you need to listen to the person that is always there for you to understand things. I know i am hard-headed and sometimes i just need someone to talk too when i am depressed. it has been a year since i really played with someone to the Extreme. There is one thing i enjoy is being put in a Trash Bag with it tied up tight. I also love see the long Fingernails on the Mistress/Domme. Well the weekend is over and now it is bed time. |
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Today was a Sad Day for me and a Friend of mind. One of her Dogs was put down this evening. I was starting too grown attched to her and now that she is gone it is hard to not see her here now. I know she will be missed and love. At least she is in a Better Place now. She would always get in bed with me and now i will miss her. I have Memeries of her. Smokie You will be Missed and Loved. Things will get better now. |
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I hate it when someone thinks they are for real and they want to play online games with you and want to take your $$$$$$. Being a Slave to someone that you can trust is ok but if you don't trust them you might go Broke with them. Mistress/Domme, Slave/Sub need to be Honest and commicate with each other. I know being with a Mistress/Domme is alot of work but if you are Happy in your life then go for it. But if you are not happy and seeking someone that will give you what you want then you need to go there and be with that Person. I am going to be straight up with them because i am hurting and i want my BDSM Back. I hate being Vanilla. It hurts me to be here and not have what i was looking for in Life. I know some Domme/Mistress are afaid of Breath Play but when you have done it for years and enjoy it. I have a Fetish for being Thrown in a Trash Bag with it tied up with no air for a few min. until the Mistress/Domme knows when to give you air. |
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I know sometime you need to realize that when someone needs you and they don't really know that they need you in them and they push you away because of their life is so busy and playful. I really need someone to cure my HEART and Soul. I know that life SUCKs and it is hard to deal with life sometimes. I just need to be Played with and be by their Side at all times. When i hear all these things that other Dommes/Mistress do to their Slaves/Subs it kind of Hurts me inside that i just wish i had a life like that. |
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I was thinking today about how i can better my life and so things i get happy crazy like cranking up the radio and singing with the windows opened and letter everyone here what i am so happy about. I like it when you are with someone and they know your lifestyle and they mention about looking at some New Color Nail Polishes. They ask me if i like the colors they pick out and i say yea and i don't want to hurt their feelings. I just buy the brands that i like, Like OPI. She had asked me about doing her Nails and i told her maybe she should wait until next week when she has alweekend to to them. |
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Today is my Birthday and i am awaiting for that very special person to be in my life. I just wish i just find the one that is into the things i am into. I know there are alot of People that fear Breath Play but i love it and the person i am with will love it too and not be afraid of it. I Love to be Put in a 55 Gallon Trash Bag with it tied up and have my Mistress/Domme put her feet on me or what ever she deside to do with the Trash Bag with me in it. My Mistress/Domme knows when to give me air and when not too. I do have my own landscaping Bussiness and i get Trash Bags and Order then when i need them. |
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Well it is coming down to the line. Next Thursday is the B-Day and i hope that i will enjoy it. I do have to work which I don't care because I am off on Friday. I know that I will have to clean the house and do some chores that i do not mind.I hate people that don't clean up after themselfs. It just makes the house look dirty and i get upset when it is kids and their mother that dirty up the house. I don't live like a Slob. I am Mr. Clean.  |
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I do wish when someone tells me that they want to be with me and it feels like the other Person that lives with them spends more time with them then you do it Hurts in the Heart. Sometime people just need to tells others they need to spend some time with the ones they care about especialy when their birthday is coming and you can't read their minds and you know what you want to do and you kind of Spoil it when you say something to them and they already know what they were going to do for you on their B-Day.  |
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