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Hi,
This is just a quick note to follow up with the surgery I had done in May of 2009. It was successful, relieving the new pain that had been increasing exponetially. The disc at L3/4 was completely gone leaving the vertabrae bone on bone. The doctor put in titanium braces and screws to regain the proper spacing. He's put so much in a this point I kidded him that he was making me a terminator from the inside out. lol
Live well,
T |
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Hi,
Since I just finished updating my profile I thought I would update the journal as well.
I had posted earlier (since removed) that I had found a slave and had given her my protection. As things stand now she still has my protection and knows that she's cared about. Sometimes the baggage is to heavy to relocate although she is always welcome if anything changes. Therefore the search continues.
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Hi All,
I recently went back east to visit 2 friends who each were battling a different form of cancer. I hoped to energize them and get them fighting for their future and in this I believe I was successful. One of the friends I thought just needed a break from their family so we went to a resort and did all the tourist stuff. When we got back reality landed like we'd never been gone. But the break gave a new sense of strength to deal with all of it including dealing with the doctor and getting a real positive outcome from that visit. Overall there were some dissapointments but, in my opinion, was a great success. Of course I slept for a week to recover from it. lol
Take care |
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Hi all,
If I've written to you and you are looking at my profile let me say thank you for taking the time. Every letter I write is original with no cut and paste etc. Before writing I've looked at your profile to see if we shared enough interests (both vanilla aand BDSM) to write you and express our interst.
There was a 80 year old man who had just married a 22 year old "trophy" wife who was asked "because of the difference in their ages was he worried about death."
To which he replied....with a shrug of his shoulders,"well.....if she dies she dies".
Live well and make your enemies wonder what you've been up to. |
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Hi there friends, enemies and lurkers,
I'm very happy to say that I'm healing physically from the surgery far faster than I had anticipated and there may be a small lessening of the pain in my neck and arms. YAY. If any of you folks who are reading this are facing a similar surgery or surgery period and would like to talk with someone whose been there done that, then go ahead and write to me |
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Hello A/all,
Surgery was successful and I was in the hospital only overnight. Yay. The amount of surgery was less than the Doc. expected. We'll see down the road if any pain lessens. I'm always happy to have a surgery and help my poor doctor buy his next BMW. lol
Thanks to all who prayed and sent well wishes.
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Greetings visitors, lurkers and peekers
I'm going to have another major surgery on April 29th. They are going to fuse C6/7 and wire it to the prior titanium rods and sccrews.
I never go into one of these surgeries hoping for pain relief. That's because I've never gotten any relief but the surgery was needed to stabilize the spine. This time is no different. I'll be in the hospital for 2-3 days if all goes well.
My thanks to those who've expressed well wishes and prayers. I appreciate it more than I can express.
I wish you all the best
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This is from a postcard seen of all places on America's Most Wanted.
"If you want to run with the wolves
you have to stop peeing like a puppy!" |
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I just finished watching the movie
"The Rock". There was one line in there that I found worth remembering.
"Losers whine about doing their best.........
Winners go home and fuck the prom queen!!!"
Sean Connery |
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Greetings all,
I wish to make all of you who take the time to visit this journal aware that I'm changing my nic to Touchyourmind or Tym. I didn't want to open a new profile but I felt the time was right to make this change and that is the best way to handle this. |
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Hi all~
I've been considering what to add to this journal for some time now. I want to have these reflect how I think and feel the majority of the time not those moments where I'm saying to myself "what were they thinking!"
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
That I have chosen to call myself Gorean is a direct reflection of my desire to continue personal growth despite being retired by the slip and fall and chronic pain. That's what being Gorean is about personal growth for me to learn and teach to those with the desire to learn. |
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Tal to the Free and property,
Greetings to all others,
I've been working on characteristics that describe me and that I've worked to incorperate into who I am and how I live. With acknowledgements to twinds.fpalace.com
* Honor in all things I say and do
*Control of myself in all ways. Those under my control depend on my ability to be rational when all is chaos.
*Maturity to understand myself and those who give their control to me. Maturity to understand the responsibility I've accepted and never misuse that power.
* To have values and principles that are meaningful to how I live my daily life
* Strength to not give up or be swayed from my core values and principles.
*Consistency in all my dealing with the Free and my slaves.
* Self assured meaning that I will not alter who I am to receive the approval of others.
* Accountability for myself and my actions as well the behavior and actionsof those in my care and control. It also means that I have accepted responsability for the safety and security of those under my control.
* Sensitivity and compassion to honestly listen to those who have given over control of themselves and to deal fairly with their issues or concerns within the boundries of my principles and values.
* Courage to stand up for my principles and values. Courage to stand with others in my community for the things we mutually believe in. Courage and character to admit my mistakes when I recognize one has been made.
* Mentor all who ask or are willing to receive help in overcoming the hurdles that keep them from being their best selves.
Those are my codes or guiding principles which I try to live every day. |
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Seen in a movie:
Your dignity is found inside you
No one can take your dignity from you
Unless you give it to them!
movie: Glory Road |
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When a man is in control of others he's considered powerful.
When a man finds a way to understand himself, control himself then he is beyond powerful he is his own Master and therefore
Masterful. |
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Greetings all who visit,
An online slave who had gone poof came back and asked for friendship. I'm glad to have another friend. Of course when she pointed out she'd been naughty I became the late night thwacker.lol
I had a compliment on the damned if I do thread. There's no doubt how good it made me feel.
I wish you all well
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Quote from a tv show:
humanity is born with 2 natures one is good
and one is evil.....................
..................It's up to each of us to decide
which one to nourish! |
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God blessed man by giving him
a brain and a penis.
Unforunately
he only gave him enough blood to
run one at time
*Robin Williams* 
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Recently seen on a store front
We will do our best to meet your high
standards.......
However if we don't would you lower yours to meet ours. lol. |
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Recently I've had the pleasure of corresponding with some newer slaves, answering questions and trying to clarify what the differences are between BDSMers and Goreans. Another question was what did I believe Goreans would prefer Gor style
non- consensual slavery or consensual slavery as it's practiced on earth. Pretty astute for a newbi,ehh. Firstly such a complicated question as well as trying to guage how other Gorean Masters would feel about this issue. Why couldn't she ask if Goreans are kinky or something with more consenses.lol. Anyway I'm waiting to hear back from her before I share what I told her. However I'm pleased and honored to help her find her way. Sharing what I've learned is one of my greatest pleasures at this point in my life. One other highlight from today. A slave from the Gorean board wrote today and complimented me on my post and Marvin |
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In writing here one want's to allow people who view your profile to see who you are a little more clearly. This is done via storytelling, revealing thoughts and/or feelings or just straight journaling about whats been happening in ones life. Of course this can be problematic when there are people who you don't know well that like to build themselves up at someone elses expense. But all you experience helps one learn, grow and improve to become better. As Nietche said "that which does not kill you makes you stronger". Saw that at the begining of Conan the Barbarian. *smiling and chuckling* The main reason a 2nd slave was added to the chain was to keep me company especially during the day while shari is at work. Unfortunately that didn't happen. So there will be an opportunity to make this work with someone else. If you are looking at this to see if I may be right for you then let me try to shed more light on how I see myself. I consider myself Gorean because there are many qualities that I value that I see at the core of being Gorean. No I don't wear costumes except at halloween.*chuckles* Integrity, doing what's right, not what's easiest. Setting standards that high and when reached set higher. That I will always make time to listen to my slave(s) and always do what I feel is best for myself and them. That I will treat my slave as a cherished and valued possession. I tend to like to say yes rather than no. I want to know my slave(s) inside and out. I will make sure my slave's needs are met regardless of what their needs are. My basic philosophy is if my slaves are content and happy they will make me content and happy. |
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Howdy all.
I posted a journal a little while back after becoming very angry at a new slave. Let me say to anyone who visits my journal that I should have allowed myself to calm down before writing. I'll post again when I'm not so tired. |
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Hi y'all,
As my world turns is back on the journal.lol. I promised kitti I would add something to the journal tonight or is it tomorrow already, I'm so confused. Well I asked for it and I've got three women under the same roof. To be honest things are progressing much better than I'd hoped for. kitten and kitti have bonded beyond my most hopeful wishes. They could probably be content without me at least from kitti's view. But slowly the trust is growing. Like I said faster than I thought it might. It's been 2 years since she was under and a year since she played. Tonight we shared our first real kiss and from the little kitti mewls it hit the right spot for us both. We played a little and she told me she got half way to subspace stopped by a little tummy upset so I put her to bed. Last night I took kitten all the way to her favorite place. Y'all can use your imagination. We wwent to the Hollywood bowl for the Independence day show and fireworks. Today on the 4th we go to see Ratatouie (hope I spelled that right.haha). One other thing of note happened today as well. kitti introduced me to another online group dedicated to BDSM etc.a while ago. When I first posted I got flamed by some wanting to know my"credentials". Some of it was pretty hurtfull but I hung in there and my reward came today as several members validated my thoughts and the sites owner had some kind words for me as an example to follow when she chastized another member. I believe that a foundation is being laid for future friendships. Most importantly was kitti's posting telling all her friends on the site that she was living with me and was wearing my service collar. A huge step for her. More than that was that she told them she was safe. That meant a lot as she hasn't been safe for a long time. we're having fun and laughing quite often and kitten looks like a lot of stress has been taken off her shoulders which was one of the main reasons I pursued this.
A most happy Independence Day to Y'all. May all your dreams come true and exceed your fantasies. |
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I feel like I'm living the real world soap opera. The slave that I thought wasn't interested in joining my family has convinced me she is sincere. After much conversation we finally have come to an understanding. In fact she has submitted as my service slave. There is a need for her to transition to being a slave again. In having her submit to only serving removes the pressure of sex and being nude in this getting to really know each other better. I've had her sign a 30 day contract that will be adjusted as we see how things progress. We've grown much closer in a very short time. In the future I'll be using her new name , kitti. I feel like shari and I've been given a chance to make her future brighter with all the opportunity she can reach out and grab onto. As for me, I'll stay as I always am, an optomist who believes all is possible and that kitti will learn to truely love and trust me. I wish you all well until I journal again. |
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The A/C guy called and asked if he could come in the morning. Of course I said yes and they have indeed shown up and hooked up the thermostat. Heavon is needing a blanket cuz my feet are cold in movie room!!!!YAY |
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I thought it time to update this little journal in case anybody has been following whats been going on. The most significant thing is what is happening with the slave that I had decided enough. We finally talked and of course there was an explanation. It wasn't great but it was true and I decided to give things more time. Actually recently she warmed up a bit and is planning on moving in the middle of June. We've seen each other a few time and talked pretty frankly about expectations so my comfort level has improved. My slave seems to be coping with the addition of these new lives into our family. The new slave who I'll call c has had several medical and dental problems which had been the source of much of the underlying problems. My slave s biggest concern is that instead of getting another slave to help take care of me she'll have to take care of me and her. I don't think that is what will happen but I've learned to never say never.lol My movieroom remodel is dragging on however the A/C will be installed todaqy so no more sauna's with my movies. I just paid for the MacIntosh rear surround speakers to match my front towers. I cannot wait to have this all hooked up and pumping. It sounds awesome now so my ears can hardly wait for it all to be put in place and calibrated. Well I need to get to work on writing a slave contract for c. So until next time may all who read this live long and prosper. |
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I have decided that I can no longer ignore all the red flags that come with this slave. she was a no show today for a dentists appointment I had arranged to take care of the pain she's been suffering the last several weeks. she did not call or write to advise me she wouldn't or couldn't come and as patient as I am this is just unacceptable even at a friend level. shari and I will continue to search for that right someone! |
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Every day since my last post I have checked this slave's profile looking for the message I told her to place there and it hasn't been posted! I am upset as she continues to lose creditability. If she had been alone I would have ended this already. However I've hung in, but I have just about lost all of my patience. |
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Well this new slave we've been talking with reached out and asked for help. A big step for her! The day went well and we got several things handled. We left off with smiles and hugs and I thought we'd taken a big step forward. The next day she had written a response to shari's email and answered some of the questions shari'd asked. However the tone of the reply was very testy, not very submissive. I know she's had a toothache so she's been moody but when I asked about it she continued in the same testy manner. If she didn't step over the line she came damn close too it.
Now I had told her to put that she was under consideration by Me on her profile, which she has not yet done. I understand moods and being out of sorts because of pain or whatever but the respect of a slave to a Dominant must be there and I dont think it was. I'm trying to be very patient as she's been through a lot in her life and I'd like to think she deserves a shot at being with a kind and caring Master but I require at the least respect or she's going to lose her opportunity. |
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Since this is the place to share our thoughts on recent events that have impacted our lives. shari and I have been corresponding with a slave regarding joining our family. We had a really nice vanilla day and evening together getting to know each other. It's funny that when you begin a search like this you're ready to travel anywhere in the world for the right sub/slave. Ironic when she turns up an hour away from you.Happiness is just around the corner!!!!! |
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In reading profiles and posts on the boards I get the feeling of Deja Vu, that I'm back in high school. All the girls said they wanted the nice guy but dated the bad boy and complained all the time about how they were treated. These journals are an additional way for you to get to know me. My style of Dominence is fluid, matching what my subs/slaves needs are because that ability lives inside of Me, like an actor bringing life and truth to a role. The only difference is the actor plays the part where I live and Am the part. Whether it's someone I'm just playing with or a ltr, I don't come on strong unless you've suibmited to me or given me an indication that is something you want ie: being taken, no warning no foreplay just taken. Give me an indication and I make dreams come true.
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A couple of things bring Me to write in the journal. One was a question in the forums wondering if Dominants could "smell" submissives and some discussions in the forums about subspace. I was with a women awhile ago who did not identify herself as sub/slave but was okay with being spanked and restrained. Once W/we got going I instructed her to call me Master. she responded very well to spanking which I took My time doing. Changing tempos periodically so she wouldn't cum too soon but allowing her to feel very controlled by commanding she cross her ankles and wrists and maintain that by My will. All the while asking questions which she must answer yes or no Master. I could literally see her losing control of the masks people wear and the answers became softer as if being pulled out by me. While I continued to spank My other hand found it's way to her very wet and hot spot despite her being on her belly with her ankles crossed. I wanted her to feel her vulnerability. I used her juices too cover her pussy and ass and at this point she was moaning and talking on her own and still calling me Master. When my fingers found her cliterous and later her G spot. she orgasmed so quickly I couldn't postpone it by pausing or stopping. What I remember more than anything else was the "dreamy" look on her face and in particular her eyes as she came back from subspace. I think it really surprised her how much she could lose herself in becoming submissive. W/we never played again but remain friends who email each other bits of humor we think the other would like. |
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My master has commanded me to enter how i made him angry last week and and what I learned from the situation.
We went shopping late into the evening at one of Master's and my favorite stores. I was feeling pressed for time and told Master that it was getting late and we needed to go....he told me he knew. When we didn't leave when i thought we should, i told him again and could see he was getting annoyed with me, but i continued to push and made upset him
. He sent me to the car while he paid for his purchases and was very annoyed with me. He couldn't even punish me right then because he wanted to think of an appropriate punishment. Before i went to bed that night, he told me that my punishment would be to go on to this website in his profile and explain what happened and tell what i learned from the situation.
i learned that my Master has a reason for everything and once i have made him aware of a situation, not to continue to bug him about it because he knows what is best for us and i should be able to read him and not continue to push when i know he will get upset
i am very sorry that i seemed disrespectful to my Master and will try very hard not to do so again
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