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john44054
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PleaseDaddy11
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Classicist
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I have always been a Dominant woman and even work as one. I have been longing to try to find the right Male Top to help me explore and find my submissive side.
With vanilla life and kink, I'm ALWAYS in charge and I long to let go of this. At times I even am envious of subs when I take them to that sublime place called sub space. Would love to experience that myself.
I will be a challenge but with the right Top, I'm sure you can help me find my way. My ideal Top will be experienced and know how to balance a stern countenance with a gentle demeanor. He will know how to read my behavior and body language. Intelligence is a must.
You must be geographically close to me and be able to commit to a regular play date. I would prefer the play date be once per week but that is certainly negotiable.
Please Note:
DO NOT ask me to be your friend etc unless we have communicated. You will be rejected. I only add people as friends if they are actually that... FRIENDS.
DO NOT message me asking to be my slave!!! I already have 2 house boys that I have been using for years that I know and trust.
DO NOT message me asking to be my submissive!!! I am NOT here looking for subs.
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A new friend on this site sent me this. This writing describes exactly who I am, what I want, and what I am seeking.....
The Warrior Submissive
You got my head going last night on that submissive/dominant thing. I'm thinking there may be a sub-species to the "normal" submissive out there. I'm not sure what to call them... perhaps the "warrior submissive".
I read something once that made fun of what some of the submissives said in their profiles. In it was the submissive that said "you have to prove yourself worthy of my submission". They accused that type of person of not being submissive at all and wanting to top from the bottom.
At the time, I chuckled and moved on, but I secretly identified with that type of submissive and I can see how we came to be. Years of heartbreak tend to make you not trust anyone. When that happens, no matter how submissive you are, there is a part that refuses to give over full control ever again. So you make the Dominant "prove" they are worthy of you... over and over and over... no matter how long you are together. Eventually you accept your Master as human and realize he will let you down now and again, but you also know that you do the same to him. That's all part of relationships. The reward, however, for proving yourself worthy is greater, I think, than most submissives would give. Warrior submissives are crazy protective. If they find themselves in a situation where you cannot defend yourself, they will do so fiercely. If you are wounded, sick, or need serious care, they will be there nursing you, pushing you not to baby yourself or over-do. They will threaten, cajole, black mail you into taking care of yourself. They are fiercely loyal, loving, and competent. They don't need you to tell them what to do. If you leave them to run a house by themselves, they will do so easily. They may not be happy sitting on the floor unless in a situation where it's called for. They are rather like having a panther on a leash.
I'd have to say that warrior submissives are a lot of work. They are sort of the divas of the submissive world. Most Dominants are terrified of them because they can bring to light any weakness they see and a Dominant never wants to think they might be weak. Submissives don't see them as submissive because they aren't the "good little girls" submissives are supposed to be. They can be kind of bratty and they definitely want all of their Dominant's attention because... deep inside... they feel they are not worthy despite having the strongest, most sensitive and loyal hearts.
The warrior submissive also loves the "battle" because it leads to being tied down. They have a need to feel forced to do the things they want to do. She wants her heart to pound and her blood to flow hot. The reward for all the effort you put into "proving" yourself over and over again is someone who does the very best she can to be certain your needs and even your smallest desires are met. She will make you the center of her life... within reason. If you can "own" her, she will do everything she can bring herself to do ... and sometimes things she never thought she could do ... to make you happy.
It takes a special type of Dominant to handle a warrior submissive. He has to be certain of himself as he will often be proving he is the Dominant she needs. He has to be imaginative, strong within himself, and not want the "yes, Sir, whatever you say, Sir" type of submissive. He has to be patient and enjoy the occasional battle of words or will.
I don't know how well I've described this. A "normal" submissive would probably tear this description apart trying to prove that this isn't a submissive at all... and then spout off about how she won't submit to "just anyone" herself, but she's a thousand times better than this non-submissive. And the warrior submissive would probably agree with her.We spend our time questioning our submissiveness because we seriously WON'T submit to "just anyone"... if we choose to submit at all. We don't know if maybe we're "weekend players", "bottoms", or "switches", but we do know that there doesn't seem to be a place for us and that most people don't understand us. And we can't blame them... often we don't understand ourselves.
– Heretical
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I have said this before and I will gladly say it again... I am truly astounded at the out pouring of kindness from this community! Most of the people I have exchanged emails with on this site are just wonderful!
The good news is that I'm doing much better these days! The heart does take time to heal but it is doing just that!
Since most of you aren't THAT familiar with me, I do want to dispel the myth that I am a melancholy person most of the time. I'm rather upbeat and positive.
I know I will find what I'm looking for eventually. I just need to finish my healing process and not try to rush anything. Did I mention patience isn't one of my best virtues? LOL
Thanks again everyone! You guys are the best! |
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So here I am! All alone on a Saturday night!
What did I do wrong?
Nothing....
I thought I had it all down right.
Yet still broken and battered you are
You turn away from
What I have to give you in that regard
My friendship
My kindness
My understanding
We could have seized more than one moment
Yet you looked at me
With eyes that looked of shattered glass
All I could think of
Does she know of the love that she had passed?
Does she know how committed you were to her
How can she live with herself now knowing
What she destroyed in you....... |
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Tired, bored, drinking beer and looking for some kind of mischief to get myself into. Even if it is just a battle of the wits!!! |
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I need to update my profile to reflect that I'm recovering, ready to move on but still hurt and I have trust issues. It can not be helped due to what I went through. Maybe the correct update is to just leave it off?
In other non-news. I'm cold. It's damp and yucky out. Movie early this afternoon then off to sell my jewelry at Dracula's Ball tonight. Right now I want to go back to sleep but that is NOT an option.
SPRING PLEASE COME SOON!! |
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Want omelette with feta, tomato, and asparagus. Have none of the ingredients at home and TOO lazy to go get them!!
Ok this is one instance this princess needs to be rescued!! LOL |
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I have received so many responses to my last journal entry. I find it rather surprising AND flattering that people do take the time and read.
The responses certainly run the course from very positive to a few negative ones. One of the replies that I initially considered negative, ended up by being a positive through a wonderful exchange of emails.
As I stated, the majority were positive in which others also shared that they have seen the same thing in which someone professes great experience and then they do not. They also said that they also were disappointed in the amount of misrepresentation not just on this site, but others as well.
I know I am naive to think others are as straight forward and honest as myself but I am now figuring it out very quickly.
Today I was having an email exchange with a friend through this site. We were discussing if it would be possible to come up with some kind of vetting process to eliminate the fakes, frauds and general scam artists. I threw out that what about a system in which someone would have to be invited to join only after another established member recommended that person. We came to the conclusion that that probably wouldn't work either.
As my mind continuously worked on this problem, I came up with the idea/joke to turn it into some kind of Masonic like cult. My friend added that Dom candidates would have to display their skills for a board of people and that Subs would have to display what they are willing to and can endure. Only after would the board vote and decide if admittance would be permitted.
If you are reading this, allow this to be your turn to turn this into some kind of sarcastic over the top lampooning of those involved in BDSM who are just too cool take themselves entirely too seriously!!
I had one person reach out and he was very honest that he is a novice and wants to learn. His profile also reflected that same type of candid honesty. THANK YOU!!!!
Onto a completely different subject, I have become email friends with a number of people through this site. I had a birthday in the last week and I want to thank everyone for their well wishes! It was a milestone and I'm celebrating with some other friends tonight. Hopefully it won't take me another two days to recover.
Happy Saturday Everyone!! |
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We all view people's profiles. For those who profess to be dominant, most have a line in their bio about having either "extensive experience" or they will say they have more than a decade of experience.
If other factors in their profile interest me, I will reach out and ask the following questions.What is the longest D/s relationship you have had?
- What do you consider your specialties?
- What was the best scene you have had with a sub? Why do you think it worked so well?
- Are you looking for just a play partner or for a play partner and vanilla relationship?
- What will your expectations of me be?
The responses I get back are often disappointing. As it often turns out, the gentleman has had a long time interest in D/s but not the backing experience. Say over the course of about 10 years they may have played a bit with a few girlfriends or was in D/s relationship for a few months once.
If you are reading this, before you get your panties in a bunch, what I find disappointing isn't the lack of actual experience but rather the lack of honesty about their experience. You may ask "Well how am I supposed to attract a quality partner unless I embellish some?" This is a valid point and you can be honest and still attract good candidates.
You need to think of this profile as a resume. You can say some things like
"I have had a long interest in BDSM and have researched it in all aspects. In the last 'X' years, I have had the privilege of playing with several partners but now I'm looking forward to expanding my skills with the right submissive."
OR
"My practical experience has been x,y, and z. It had been a wonderful experience learning and growing with these people but now I seek to expand my skills and need a partner who is willing to join me on this journey."
Moral of the story: be truthful about who you are, what experience you have, and what you are REALLY seeking! |
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Have had a great PJ day! Now to get cleaned up and into fresh PJ's!!! Days like this are really the best! |
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Needing a discipline fix!! This is rough and I'm not exactly a patient person but I know that with patience, I will find the right play partner! Of course it doesn't help that right now I'm craving what I haven't had in about 3 weeks! I'm a strong woman! I will not settle!! |
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Spending way too much time on CM! My birthday is in a couple of weeks and I think I'm shopping for my kink gift for myself! |
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~ You can't start the next chapter in your life, if you keep re-reading the last one.~
Those words are what I now remind myself. Let go, heal, move on. |
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So hoping to find some one to play with tonight!!! Black Phoenix OR private.... both thoughts are tempting. |
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| Age: 30 |
| Mahatthan,
New York |
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