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| UPDATE TO MY PROFILE
I'd had the same profile for well over a decade, and I think it's time for a refresh.
I'm a lover first and foremost. I love Life. I don't come at this from a place of anger or lack. I love freedom and I love seeing my partners delight in the freedom we create together. In addition to discovering the things that gets them off, I'm also interested in what turns people on both in and outside the bedroom. I've always identified as a "natural dominant" in that I'm confident, and am really comfortable running a dom scene, an event, an emergency, anything. I'm also the best submissive you ever imagined possible. F'real. My day-to-day is get-it-done, so I'm TCB most of the time. Hence...
I'm always trying to be a better person, to serve and support my communities, and to inspire others to grow and expand. I also want to be called out on my bullshit, because I know it's there. But no one ever really steps up to point it out.
I've been nearly obsessed with having a net positive impact in the world since I can remember. I believe in NonViolent Communication as a default, authenticity, and kink to whatever degree we both agree is hot. I love to work and I love to play. Hard, soft, up, down, in and out... I've made mistakes, but you can always count on me to do my best to do the right thing and to never intend any harm. Pain, on the other (or both) hand(s) is another conversation, entirely. And if you're into that kind of thing, then let's....email.
I'm not showing you my cock to impress you (that, like you, will come later). It's actually a kind of vulnerable pose if you think about it. And since we're on a kink-community site with lots of nudity, I leaned out a little. Plus I like the way my legs look in this one. I hope you like, and there are also more pics and whatever to come if you're intrigued.
I've thought about closing my account here because I don't feel like anyone's as real as I am. I'm open and excited to whatever Life brings my way. So far it's been pretty fucking amazing.
Intending good things for you, freak. Or spammer.
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See ya CM! I'm moving my journal to - the blogging/journal tool is SO much easier and fuller-featured. I'll look forward to connecting with women with submissive inclinations and desires on CM, for sure. I've got some good friends out of my experience here, and look forward to more. But the journal? It's outta here. ----> I'm TopQuality there, too. whaddya know.
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I wish journal entries could have "titles" or subjects.
Or line breaks.
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The "training" part of D/s for me the establishment of protocol, defining levels of tolerance for deviating from it, and even the correction/discipline are means to an end for me- the sublime comfort of being served and supported by someone who has my needs and desires first and foremost in her mind. I like to think I'm pretty good at keeping HER needs and desires in mind, but at the end of the day, this is a game of service and submission to the dominant. Whether you consider submission to be a gift a natural state of being, *I* think of it as a blessing to be thoroughly and exhaustively enjoyed.
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After we negotiate boundaries, limits and safewords, I have just one "rule" or direction - "Do as you're told" - from this, all else follows. If you make an agreement with me, then I expect you to keep your word, just like you would (and can) expect me to keep mine. It's pretty simple that way.
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I'm fine with subs testing me. Women in general, I think, like to test men's boundaries to find out where the weakness is. I think this isn't the intention, though, actually. I think it's actually a woman testing a man's boundaries as a way of testing her safety. "How reliable is this?" not "Where's the weakness?"
I absolutely get the need for trust in any kind of relationship, especially one where a woman puts both her pleasure and her safety in my hands. And I think some people like to explore the safety of a thing before they fully commit tot it, and others dive right in, assuming that things are what they seem.
To me, trustability is the degree a person "owns' or manages not only the upholding of their agreements, but also in cleaning up when breakdowns happen. How much is a person willing to "own" their shortcomings? How open and willing are they in getting things right?
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So far, some really hot connections on CM, but nothing "sticking" as one delightful and enchanting playmate put it. Which in some sense is a very good thing. But I'm keen on something a little more deep and enduring. Someone I can count on, and who totally trusts me. I've worked all my life to be trustable, integrity is a core value of mine and someday I'll find the right sluttly girl to live a rockstar life with me.
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Ah... the intricacies of attraction. It's hard enough to find someone you have all kinds of physical chemistry with, then add to the mix a heterogeneous set of preferences, tastes and triggers in power exchange for both parties - being kinky is like multiplying the degree of difficulty in finding a compatible partner for play and/or for life and/or for a lifetime of play.
I find it can be challenging to divorce a woman's submissiveness, my various layers of attraction to her (physical, intellectual, emotional), and her human-being-ness from each other. I like the whole package. As a dominant, I want it all. Priviledge of position, I guess.
I consider myself quite naturally and comfortably "dominant" in the bedroom sense of the word and have had really rich and juicy and fun long-term relationships with women delighting in dancing around and playing with power exchange to varying degrees. It always seems so much more satisfying and fulfilling to me to have a deep, intimate connection with someone I'm lashing to a piece of furniture.
I've also had several experiences of meeting women from CM and having fleeting feelings of attraction, dominance and engagement. Once in a while, it sticks. Yum.
I do find it difficult to presume dominance right off the bat, which some women seem to want or expect. I'm not sure, exactly - I get mixed messages as a dom. It could be suggested (and has been by one of the women in question) that there's an implicit understanding by virtue of the venue of meeting. That a submissive should just assume that a dominant met on CM is going to dominate them or act dominantly immediately.
It seems natural that someone seeking to submit would be testing a new potential partner right away. We're clear that's what we both want, right?
On the other hand, having an explicit agreement is important to me. Some subs don't want to cross the line of being explicit about their desires and/or needs when it's their attachment to those things they wish to give up. Others have no problem at all stating what they want and what doesn't work for them.
The fact is, no sub is like any other sub in my experience. Each has their own flavor (heh) of submission, their own sets of boundaries, communication skills and the list goes on. With each nuanced and required "taste" (explicitly, "fetish"), the degree of difficulty in finding AND BEING a match gets all exponential.
I suppose CM was started to support people in finding matches more efficiently, but at the end of the day - it's still all about the chemistry and the kinks matching. And for that you just don't know until you know.
Good luck y'all.
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A note about my experience: I've been seriously exploring BDSM for about seven years now and kinky sex for longer. I've had many sub/lovers and a couple of those have been long-term relationships. I'm an extremely skilled communicator and pleasurer, and I shun drama. I'm trained in acupressure and have developed very strong and agile hands. I'm also an Eagle Scout which means I've been playing with rope all my life.
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| Age: 25 |
| Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania |
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