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I know who I am. Do you know who you are? If so, then keep reading.
I'm interested in exploring this side of myself, but I'm more interested in exploring this side of you. I have submissive fantasies, but in most relationships I find myself in the dominant role. I'm fine with that, but I do miss the other side from time to time.
It sounds bad for someone say they're going to hurt you, but it's not, is it? We mean that in the best possible way. It's something we want for each other. I have no interest in anything truly unsafe or unhealthy. I have no interest in left scars, physically or psychologically. I also have no interest in women with deep psychological issues. It may sound bizarre to say this on a site like CollarMe, but I'm looking for someone who is healthy, with a healthy attitude, a healthy psyche. I love damaged girls because it appeals to the white knight in me, always rescuing the damsels in distress, but I've learned the hard way that they're not good for me.
I'm interested in the discovery of all of our magic buttons. We'll put in the time and energy. We'll do the research. But once the buttons are expose they will be used judiciously.
I'm interested in a long term, loving relationship with an exciting, intense sexual life that ventures far outside of the bedroom.
I'm very funny, a little introverted, creative, artistic and a great listener.
I'm a good guy at heart. I want people to be happy. I want good things for people, and I take no pleasure from anyone's misery, even when they deserve it.
I like twisting my hand up in your hair and teasing you with my lips. I enjoy pinning your down, securing your wrists above you and denying you your happy little explosions until you agree to say or do whatever I want, or until you beg sweetly, sincerely or otherwise act cute enough to earn it. That's the dominant side.
The submissive side is the opposite, isn't it? It's about serving far beyond simple sex. Foreplay is doing the dishes, lol, and getting excited at the prospect because you're doing it for her, and it will make her happy. Being a servant is about listening, then acting on the things you've learned, and about learning from your mistakes. Women require special handling (sorry, girls but you do). They require far more active listening skill and for the most part us guys are not qualified. Our listening skills are underdeveloped (we know it's true, you don't have to remind us). Life is foreplay. Or it should be.
If you're very nice and you ask nicely, I may share some fiction with you.
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Honestly, spanking you until you cry, until you get weepy and soft vulnerable and then having you . . . is there a better dream? |
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A peculiar change of events. Over the past couple of years, I've been the dominant partner in all my relationships. It happens sort of naturally. Since I'm the guy, and I'm leading the way toward sex, seducing, of course the natural next step is to control the relationship. Being the pretty sweet, laid back guy that I am, I never minded following her idea about what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go, but when it came to sex, I always took charge.
But something changed in the past month or so.
I've always considered myself a switch anyway. I've had equal the amount of fantasies as both dominant and submissive. As a dominant, I fantasize about spanking, tying up, controlling my girl. But as a submissive, I fantasize about being a submissive in two ways: First, as a man submitting to a woman. The Domme is NOT the ball-busting, evil cursing woman bent on crushing and humiliating me. Far from it. In fact, my fantasies are of a rather sweet, cajoling soft spoken women who simply controls me with my own sexuality, who persuades and manipulates. Strangely enough, as if my fetishes couldn't be more embarrassing, I also have fantasies of switching bodies or being transformed into a female and submitting. At that point, the gender of the Dominant doesn't matter. It could be a male or a female.
Now, I'm really considering a "FLR". A nice new term I've learned which stands for Female Led Relationship. Part of my problems with past relationships is after I do an excellent job of seducing a date into bed, I know I've got her and I get it again and I start to become less romantic. I get in a "relationship". I get lazy. Bad me, I know. Knowing this, I make efforts to be different, and I manage it for a week or so, before I find myself returning to the same old lazy me.
But in an FLR, you turn over your cock to the girl of your dreams, and she gets to decide if, when and how you ever get to use it again. Would I be different then? I'm not expecting a magic pill; I'd just like to be the kind of boyfriend and lover that remained attentive, seductive and tuned in. |
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Seeing as I sport a pair of testicles (not that there's anything sporty about them, and certainly not aerodynamic), my mind has been drifting to fantasies about spankings lately.
There are several different scenarios, some fun, some serious (but still fun in a way), but the notion did start to nag in my head (the good kind of nagging, not the other "when are you going to mow the lawn" kind) that maybe people (i.e. women) prefer one type of spanking over another.
I read a recent article (if there are such things on the internet where all expertise is and should be suspect) that suggested the reason women might like spankings is because it stimulated blood flow to that region, thereby stimulating the genitalia.
Really? Not that the blood flow won't cause that, but doesn't a spanking work mostly on a psychological level?
So, I'm wondering what kind of spankings do people (you) naturally gravitate towards:
A. Playful, all in good fun. You might get a few good slaps in, but it's probably most role play, though the variation could be some definite reddening, but there's still a lot of moaning going on during the event. This would a very light spanking on a psychological level, and almost certainly lead to sex (although again... guy... testicles...in my universe, everything wants to lead to sex.)
B. Spontaneous, but more serious. This might come as a direct result of perceived "bratty" behavior, when often we both know that "bratty" behavior is a not so subtle away of asking for exactly what you can't ask for because it spoils it if you do. This could range anywhere from a light psychological effect to a heavy one (i.e. tears, sniffling and that delightful "small" feeling and wanting to be held).
C. Formal and ritualistic. Whether this is at the Dom/me's whim for some imagine or real punishment, there's a whole event tied to it. You must dress a certain way, go to a certain place and wait, perhaps in a certain position. You may have been placed in a corner or have to face some other punishment in preparation for the main event. This would have a significant effect psychologically. You'd probably be deep into a sub-space feeling long before the spanking, which would only increase it. I see "training" and a lot of promises written all over this.
D. Playtime, this is probably a regular event, part role play, but now we're into people who truly adore pain. It may or not have rituals attached to it, though subspace is probably inevitable, and would have some serious flogging, whipping, etc. using pain as a way to drop the sub. Psychologically, I have no idea what kind of effects these leave, having never participated in this kind of scene.
E. Other
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There are some mighty attractive women on here. Model attractive. Of course, with me being the suspicious type, I'm skeptical that women with head shots straight out of a portfolio might not be exactly "real". But is that my curse or theirs?
It might say more about me than it does them. I'd like this entry to be about how sad it is that people use a "personals" site for selling their products, but it maybe it should be about my trust issues.
And, yes, I know I'm the only person on a site like this that has trust issues.
But should a model beauty approach me with interest, I'd start looking for the product in her hands. It's usually cologne. Which is not to say I wouldn't take the opportunity to fulfill my quota for discreet cleavage glances (which as you may or may not know, rises in direct proportion to our age), but it is to say that maybe I don't think I'm good enough, attractive enough to deserve the attention of an extraordinarily beautiful woman.
Let me think about that.
Nah.
I think it's more likely that I live in a world where every street corner, every inch of sky, even the air waves themselves are littered with some business or corporation trying to get me to give them my money. I'm saturated with advertising long before I make it to work every day. Radio, TV, billboards, T-shirts, newspapers, etc.
And women are expert advertisers. Fashion is about advertisement, isn't it? The right skirt or jeans to accentuate your ass or legs. The right shirt to accentuate your bosom. The right makeup, the right hair style. You know as well as I do that the right flirtatious glance drops men in their tracks. We will cross a busy freeway for just one more glance at the sexy legs that blurred past at 60 miles an hour on the way to our own wedding.
I'm not sure if it's pathetic or sweet. After all, we do love you, from the outside in, but still, it's a genuine affection for the way you look.
Thank God you love us (for the most part) from the inside out. Well, some of you anyway.
Maybe I should trust that the pretty faces I see in the profiles here are real women with real desires, real personalities and offer real hope.
Or maybe I should just find the one real woman on here, get to know her, tie her up and give her a paddling for making me desire her so much.
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It was a fun ride. My last relationship, if you could call it that. It was all chemistry. We literally loved the smell of each other. We would just cuddle up and sniff each other.
At one point, I'd spanked her and had her pinned on the bed and I'd asked her a question. She responded with a yes...
That lingering space after the yes made us both aware of what she wanted to say. I asked her if she'd prefer "Sir" or "Master". She caught me off guard by preferring my name. I liked it, but it leads to me the question:
What would you prefer to say (or be made to say)? How would you prefer to address Him?
A. Yes, Sir?
B. Yes, Master?
C. Yes (formal name).
D. Other (explain).
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| Age: 54 |
| Ocala,
Florida |
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