Sensual Sadist Seeking Smart, Sexy Submissive.
I am a Dominant male in the greater Boston area, and I have been actively involved in the BDSM scene for the past 7 years. During that time, I have discovered a great deal about myself, my desires, and BDSM in general, but I realize that I have had but a glimpse of what is possible.
I consider myself intelligent (but I have yet to meet the person who says "I consider myself a blithering idiot"), funny, patient and kind, but you will have to judge for yourself. Physically, I am 5' 6" with an athletic and muscular build and dark features; I guess you could describe me as tall, dark and handsome as long as you dropped the "tall" part.
Within the bounds of what I have experienced, some of my favorites and fetishes include: bondage (shibari, suspension, predicament), power exchange, flogging, whipping, eStim (violet wand & TENS), sensory deprivation, sensation play, teasing, orgasm control/training, and role play (just to name a few), but I am interested in expanding my repertoire and always open to trying new things as long as they are safe, sane and consensual.
As the title of my profile suggests (and as those with whom I have played can attest), I can sometimes tend toward the sadistic end of the spectrum. Am I a true sadist? No, I don't think so, but I suppose it depends on your definition.
To me, a true sadist is cruel, and only capable of deriving sexual gratification from the suffering of others -- better still if that suffering is devoid of pleasure. That's not the way I am wired, and it never will be.
Simply causing another human being pain and suffering does not get me off. Pain is a sensation, like any other, but it is an undesirable one for most. However, for some it is just the opposite, they crave it, and derive satisfaction and pleasure from it. Sometimes the satisfaction is immediate, and springs from the alternation between pleasure and pain, with the two eventually melding into one exquisite sensation. At other times the pleasure and satisfaction are only evident in retrospect, in part deriving from a sense of accomplishment for having tolerated so much. In either case, the experience of the submissive is paramount, and part of what gratifies me is knowing that the exerience was, on balance, a positive one.
Please don't misunderstand and assume that pain is always involved when I play. Part of what I love about BDSM is the seemingly endless array of options and possibilities for erotic expression. There are times when all I want is to slowly, sweetly, and sensually explore my submissive, and I can spend hours doing nothing else. I can be just as content with a few lengths of rope and my imagination as I can be with the entire contents of my toybox at my disposal. Oh, and I love to make my submissive cum, the operative word being make. The orgasm is allowed if and when I choose, and it may be a single burst of pleasure, or a barrage of overstimulation to the point of tears.
While I expect obedience and submission, I do not expect either to be immediate or mindless. I understand that a foundation of trust and intimacy are necessary for true submission, and no matter how deep that submission is, I will always value and demand that you maintain your individuality and the ability to think for yourself.
My Ideal Person:
I am interested in chatting with and learning from friends, old and new, who have similar and complimentary interests. Ideally, I would like to find someone with whom I can establish a deep and enduring connection, but until that time I am content to have a regular to semi-regular play partner who is interested in exploration and growth. I also think BDSM should be fun! Sternness and solemnity have their place, but pleasure, satisfaction and laughter are just as important.
Some of the qualities I look for in friends and play partners include intelligence, a sense of humor (extra points if it's twisted), a reasonable measure of goofiness / nerdiness / dorkiness (choose the adjective that best applies to you), tolerance, kindness and self-confidence (not cockiness). Ideally, you do not take yourself so seriously that you cannot laugh at your own quirks and idiosyncrasies. Most importantly, you are relatively drama-free, comfortable in your own skin, and not in the midst of a crisis of self-discovery. We are all on a journey, and while I have yet to encounter anyone who knows his/her exact destination, I would hope you have, at the very least, a sense of the path you wish to travel.
As far as play partners are concerned, I seek individuals who are passionate, adventurous, fun-loving, responsible, self-possessed, intellectually curious, and most definitely not a doormat. I am most attracted to people who take care of themselves, inside and out. Heavy smoking, drinking, or drug use are hard limits, although occasional recreational / social use is fine. If the idea of a night without a cigarette or a drink is unimaginable to you, odds are we will not be a good match.
Aesthetically, I find a strong, toned and flexible physique very pleasing, in addition to which these attributes can come in handy during play. I think yoga and BDSM go quite well together, and I would love to meet someone who feels the same way!
