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cheekycheeks257
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I am not new to the feelings but I am new to the lifestyle. I Realized I was a dom when I was about 14. It took me a year to find out I wasnt a terrible person as I discovered I was not the only one who felt the same way. It turns out I am very far from alone. I would like to introduce myself. My name is William but I prefer Billy. I am primarily a dom but wouldnt mind being a sub now and then. This is the first time I have done anything like this i.e. chatrooms, networking sites, anything aside from speaking to it about other people i meet in my personal life. I find that it is easier to simply join a myspace for s/m if you will, than to seek others like myself IRL. I am new to actually being a dom and hunger for knowledge into the lifestyle. I would be interested in talking to anyone who would be willing to teach me, and would love to speak with an experienced dom. I am also looking for someone to sub, but you must realize i am new to this, and would be thrilled to meet someone new to subbing as well so we could learn about ourselves together. Dont let that exclude anybody though. I would love to talk to anyone, as the more i do, the more i learn.
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Partial grades came in today. 2 B's and an A so far. Looking forward to finding out what the others are going to be. Cant belive i did so well with 22 credit hours this semester. Never doing it again though lol, had to work my butt off.
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I have 2 finals tomorrow... im ready for them. ill do ok. i hate not being satisfied with myself. im never satisfied, ever. I have always grown up thinking i never studied enough, i didnt do good enough, i didnt work hard enough. I belive it too and i dont think anyone will be able to convince me otherwise. I honestly think i should have studied more, i wish i had the self control to force myself to do these things. Im developing it, slowly but i am. Summer is a new semester. Lets see if i can do better. If i constantly strive for improvement, maybe i can stop once in a while, look around, and be proud for a few seconds. I crave approval, i realize that, but its no one elses. I crave my OWN approval. And i am truly my toughest critic. Maybe thats a good thing. I dont have astronomical goals, i have realistic ones. Maybe if i finally reach them, i can have a moments peace inside. It wont last long, because its not my nature to be idle, but ill be able to appreciate myself at last if only for a little. All things in moderation they tell me. Apparently that means appreciation too. I guess it makes it sweeter. |
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Im fucking sick of this stupid bullshit. Everyone around me. You all sneak, and hide, and play games, and never confront the truth because your all afraid. Your all so fucking scared of your own shadow, you cant hardly walk in the sunlight without running for shelter. FUCK YOU! TALK TO ME GOD DAMNIT!!!! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, DONT BE SO FUCKING SCARED. You stupid worthless peices of shit. You all have no fucking spine. Everyone has a problem with me for some reason. I ALREADY KNOW I HAVE AN ABRASIVE PERSONALITY! But if you dont tell me what your problem is, if your content with just talking to my other friends or who ever the fuck you feel comfortable with, that happens to not be me, then i cant correct my own fucking behavior. I AM STUBBORN, get the fuck over it. But that doesnt mean i wont sit down, listen, and truly consider your words. If you have an issue with me, TELL ME. If you have a problem with me, TELL ME. If you think i dont respect you, TELL ME. ASK ME WHY. I CANNOT CHANGE WITHOUT YOUR INPUT Doing the same thing repeatedly expecting different results is INSANITY. I AM NOT CRAZY, YOU ARE. By definition, you are. You cant argue or hide from that. You cant ignore it and have it go away. You cant. TALK TO ME GOD DAMN U! |
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Going to a munch this thursday. Its going to be the first time ive ever met with any BDSM group. Im really excited, a little nervous and happy to finally be taking some steps toward my goal of being a Dom. That is if everything goes well thursday. Either way, ive met some really incredible people, beauty, cheekycheeks, MDF. Just nice, incredibly helpful people. Champs guys, u are champs. |
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Just joined the site the other day. Very excited but at the same time nervous. Im hoping to become a dom but i have very little experience. Hoping i can talk to people and find out a little more about the "lifestyle". Seems to be just as complicated as a standard lifestyle if not more so because you must throw in repect issues, love thats truer, and deep, deep trust. Im hoping to get in touch with others doms and even subs who can teach me, but for now i am vary wary. This is out of my element, but its a part of me that is important and i need to explore. Anyone who wants to talk to me about s/m, your conversation is appreciated but be prepared to answer questions. i have a very strong desire to learn, and have been told by several decent people ive met over the last few hours that its a good start to have that mindset. Hopefully this is the start to an important chapter in my life. An important chapter in my development as a person... |
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Age: 19 |
Chicago,
Illinois |
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