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skneedshelp
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Sissyboifordaddy
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Who am I? I can give you a short synopsis. That's really all they allow room for. I like baseball. I grew up playing it as a young kid and I haven't stopped. I may have to carry the glove to my grave. There is just something about it but I love.
I also like music. I started on the violin at the tender age of seven and became quite good. As a teenager, I took up the bass violin, and electric bass, and of course the guitar. I even have a Casio organ, sitting around the house. I even have a flute, which I took up for a while, but gave up rather quickly.
I also like bondage. I experimented with rope by tying myself up at the age of five. I had an old Mexican bullwhip that I used to use when I was about 10. Little did I know that they can actually be used on people. :D The things kids will do on a farm. In my 20s, and in my 30s, my girlfriends were always submissive. I didn't know that it was called that at the time. I just knew that I liked spanking and bondage. And I still didn't have a concept that this was not normal. I just thought it was natural. I really didn't know until my 40s, that there was an actual scene. I've been growing and learning from then on.
Growing up on a farm, I always had more animal friends than people. And I was always able to read them much more clearly. I always have a rather high opinion of people. When I first meet them, I give them a break.
I am much more of a glass half full person now than in my teens and 20’s. It was because of normal teenage angst and broken dreams, a tour in the Army, and a wonderful bout with alcohol. Towards the end of my 20s and early 30s, I straightened out my act, went back to school and got my degree. I certainly have different dreams now. In the ideal would be a farm near the water, but that may never happen. Mostly what I seek is finding the inner peace and happiness, and having a lot of fun along the way.
Best new negotiation line:
Any last requests?
I don't deliver pain.
I deliver intense stimulation.
Best fortune cookie saying:
Wisdom is gained through experience, not age
Who I am and who you perceive me to be may not be the same thing.
I am pretty happy with who I am.
I only wish you could be happy with who I am.
If you want resistance, try and change me into something I am not.
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Wow they let us have journals again. I was running a munch for about 2 years pre-covid when everything shut down. The place (Izzy's) even shut down never to rise again. Which is too bad because they had a perfect back room that was ideal for meetings. Hopefully one of these days the pandemic will fade and it will be like getting a flu shot every year.
We had three munches in this town before covid. Our community was thriving. We have a play space still and hopefully it will come back even better than before. There are also quite a few private parties around. I will probably teach a whip class soon in the play space. We shall see. In the meantime I keep active with other things like yoga, weights, abdominals, running and hiking. I'm glad to see the journals back. |
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42 miles on a bicycle yesterday. I am sore today. But I did get cookies from Main Street Bakery in Rainier and that made it all worthwhile. :) |
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Leading the Olympia munch again. This should be fun.
The topic is "Myths and BDSM Legends"
or..
What things have you heard come out of mouths that are (ahem) a wee bit exaggerated?
A secondary topic will be Books, books, books. Bring your favorite to share.
If you just happen to be around Olympia Washington, drop in to Izzy's on Sunday. :) |
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Hmm.. there are no words.. Well.. actually there are words.. if you could only have my bank account number
hello sir ,
how are you doing i hope u are fine . i will be brief with my mail here sir , i am Connie huise one of the slave of Bruce wesner who died some months back due to cancer of the lungs .
some weeks back my former master attorney mark Lewis contacted me that i was left with some inheritance by my late master and in the will that was left behind it was stated that i must find a new master that i will serve as a slave that will control me and the inheritance .thats why i am contacting you . i read your profile and i am okay with you being my master and i know that you are some one that i can serve , i am very submissive and trustful .
here is my former master attorneys email ..mark55lewis@gmail.com. his name is mark lewis so you can ask him all and tell him that you want me as your slave and what to know how you will control the inheritance and me here is my email to mail me conniehuise@yahoo.com..and my number to text me sir ...256-203-4358..., hope to read from you soon sir .
slave .
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Run away with me
Lost souls and reverie
Running wild and running free
Two kids, you and me
And I say
Hey, hey hey hey
Living like we're renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Living like we're renegades
Renegades, renegades
Long live the pioneers
Rebels and mutineers
Go forth and have no fear
Come close the end is near
And I say hey, hey hey hey
Living like we're renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Living like we're renegades
Renegades, renegades
All hail the underdogs
All hail the new kids
All hail the outlaws
Spielberg's and Kubrick's
It's our time to make a move
It's our time to make amends
It's our time to break the rules
Let's begin
And I say hey, hey hey hey
Living like we're renegades
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Leaving like we're renegades
Renegades, renegades |
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Been a while. Thought I'd start with a song.
Hallelujah
Well I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
But baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
You know, I used to live alone before I knew ya
And I've seen your flag on the marble arch
And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do ya
But remember when I moved in you
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah |
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So Kinkfest last weekend was a lot of fun. The best scene happened Saturday night in whip ally with the clown whipping balloons off a bottom. Ok.. the 5 suspensions going on in the same area was quite the show also. Lee Harrington had a class about the 8 fold path that was also interesting and probably the best class of the weekend for me. |
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Last Saturday was a day of sitting around with a few kinky friends making toys. There really isn't anything like sharing, getting new ideas of how to make items and just having a good time doing it. For the Thursday munch there will be a Valentine's toy (gift) exchange, mostly from the toys we made. |
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I really get tired of people that don't know where they live. |
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I think the next big event will be Kinkfest in Portland but there are a few others along the way.
http://www.kinkfest.org/
There's a steampunk event in December along with a vendor fair (More toys)
And another vendor fair in December given by the Portland Leather Alliance. I'll probably by more toys down there just because of the fact that there's no tax. :D |
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I ran across an interesting term the other day.
Soror Mystica (mystical sister) the opposite of which is Frater Mystica.
The alchemical partnership seeks, in essence, to find each person's own divinity through the conscious assistance of another who, in intimate relationship, mirrors back all the aspects of the other's soul which lay hidden; aspects which either taint or cloud the polished vision through which God could otherwise see clearly through human eyes. It is a lengthy process, one requiring commitment and humility to allow its rare completion. But, in fact, every coupleship or marriage is itself the crucible in which this process takes place, albeit mostly on a dark and unconscious level, and therefore everywhere on earth there is the possibility of husband and wife learning about themselves- via the other's stimulation- and of all that lays hidden within, including each one's dormant alter-gender other half; i.e. the man's female side, and the female's male side. And in doing so each reaches a wholeness in which the spirit comes to inhabit the flesh, the two become one, and heaven and earth are united through them.
A good soror or frater will take you inside of them, cut you into pieces, mulch these up, and then reconstruct a whole new you before spitting you back out. The working partnership is like two factories facing one another, which demolish and rebuild the other continually.
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Somebody asked the age old question about trust on a list. It seemed more a a whine than anything. The question was "In a lifestyle where honesty and trust are so important, why are there so many who mislead, use, manipulate and abuse that trust?"
<rant>
I don’t find that to be the case in my dealings with people. Part of it is knowing that people are human and they do make mistakes. Sometimes they are really big mistakes. There are also people that can’t be trusted in certain areas of their lives (such as money) and you have to be able to compartmentalize. Yes they suck at money or they say certain things but I can put up with that. Remember that online people can be anything and fly through the air. Or lie about how much experience they have. Or whether they are married or not.
The hardest job a dominant has is to be able to manipulate constructively. Yes we manipulate and some are much cruder than others. But a submissive will manipulate also, and again, some are much cruder than others. If some make a mistake and push someone a little too hard the other side will cry foul and say that they “broke their trust”. When in turn it was really both parties not asking the right questions or glorifying one and forgetting that they are human. One of the dominant traits can be a bully. Some may like it and others would cry foul. Another can be the “invalid” which will either elicit a submissive care response or having the submissive eventually telling them to go take care of themselves. :P
You need to figure out whether you like the caretaker, father, teacher, hero, poet, artist, or whatever archetype that is in your respective dominant/submissive. It’s pretty easy to compartmentalize major flaws (to you) if you don’t live with them. Put them in a living situation and whoops.
Instant destruction.
Figuring out what type of dominant or submissive you want is your responsibility not the other parties. It takes two to tango. There are no knights in shining armor.
Tango wisely.
</end of rant> |
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What would be really fun is if you could put pictures in here. But I'm down in San Jose getting going to the Folsom Fringe and going to the Folsom Fair on Sunday..
Yay!! New toys! :P |
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Ok.. I'm already tired of fixing the sunroom. I could just have someone come in and fix it for me but now it's a challenge to get it done. It's cold outside and a bit wet and my kitties just stare at me from the window. The boards almost match up and then I have to alter them just like any home remodeling project. It's slow frustrating work.
I'll really need that tens unit tonight. Where's the hot tub? |
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Masters, after all, are Eagles. They build their own worlds; they don't flock to emulate worlds created by others.
Protocols:Handbook for the female slave
Robert J. Rubel |
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Predicament Bondage
Let me say right up front that predicament bondage is a game. Its chief reason for being is to have some fun. The idea is to put a person between the proverbial rock and a hard spot. There should be risk and reward, but the goals should be attainable and realizable.
In a service submissive this is quite easy because the reward is in their desire to please and the risk is the disappointment. The mobility of the bottom must be limited by whatever means you choose. This could be a simple as holding out their arms and putting a cup of water in each hand. It might be telling them to hold it there, without letting their arms drop below a certain point.
With smart ass masochists (better know as a SAM) problems become much more complex and a lot more fun, because they are going to look for loopholes in the situation. They might find two chairs to rest their arms on. And part of the fun of predicament bondage is to show off your problem-solving skills and thinking outside the box. There may be times when you can see a problem, and you want to cut off the route to that particular line problem solving. Such as saying that you can't sit down, or make it impossible for them to sit down by attaching a rope or some other method. You could also layer the degrees of unpleasantness by taking a sharp object, putting it underneath the arms, with the point sticking just underneath the rib cage.
But again, this should be a non-ego shattering experience. You might even want to provide an opportunity for redemption, if there is failure. A cell phone on vibrate can be fun, If you happen to be hogtied and the cell phone is pressed up against your crotch. How to make it vibrate? Put another cell phone in front of their face and have them dial the number with their nose!
Another idea is to take a magic wand and suspend it above a bed. Either tied the submissive down, or perhaps use a spreader bar, and let her try to arch to reach it. Make sure that it is high enough that it is a bit hard to do. For an added attraction, you could put an electric fly swatter below her bottom. That way if she has to rest, it will become a bit harder.
Think about serving coffee with a "secretary" spreader bar on, then blindfolding one eye to hinder depth perception. Perhaps some ankle cuffs with a very small chain attached to them. We won't mention clover clamps either..
Just a few ideas to keep things interesting. Oh.. and
I think I dicovered my D/s archetype...
I'm pretty sure that I am a SAS! |
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So a package is to arrive tomorrow but someone needs to be present.. and I can't change that until the first delivery attempt from UPS. Good lord it's only a TENS unit! Just leave the thing at the door like everybody else does! Sheesh.. |
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Mapping your D/s Archetype
This was a great class, and quite a bit of fun. I would highly recommend this class, if you even happened to be remotely in the area. It will definitely make you think. Let's get a few definitions down.
The first is a scene. And we want out of a scene is sensual arousal. That is systemic and a temporary change of state it is not sustainable over time.
The second is a relationship. This is the use of structure and parameters, within a domestic unit, that is sustainable over time.
A very interesting part about both of these is that they can be very different. I now know that mine is.
One of the questions that was on the board was the hope list
As a ______________
I seek a partner who is _________
This is a question about when you seek.
For example: As a Master, I seek someone who is obedient. As a Daddy, I seek someone who is playful, and likes to be cuddled. This list could go on and on.
As a ____________
I hope/seek/need for a relationship where I _____________.
This is a question about what you bring to the relationship, and is usually much harder to answer than the first one. It's really easy to say I want this in a partner, but what are you bringing yourself? In order to make a symbiotic relationship, both must bring value. It was very interesting listening to people trying to answer the second question. It's not really as easy as you think. If I for example, as a dominant, I hope for a relationship where I can provide stability and structure, this is something that I am bringing to the table. But if I say for example, as a dominant, I hope for a relationship where I can order someone around, and it is still about me and my desires and wants.
In the second part of the class we were into mapping various archetypes, and how they fit in with our needs and desires. Part of it was figuring out roles and I will give a few small examples, but you should really take this class to get the full experience.
Part of it was putting up various roles that we see in D/s relationships. A few examples are the same that you would find on any Alt list: such as parent/teacher, student/child, Prince/Princess. Then the idea was to go around the room and put things underneath them about the assets and liabilities of each. Many of the roles that were there were not what you would consider a “play” role. Two of them were pragmatists and formalist. An asset of the formalist would be very high structure such as; every night the table is set with washed linen dinner napkins. The pragmatist, of course, just wants food on the table.
One of the ones that really struck out at me was “bully”. As I passed the chart on the wall, I was thinking how could there be any redeeming qualities about a bully? it was her really good thing I wasn't the only one in class, because other people got up quite a few things. One was, for a scene it could be quite hot, because they would have no hesitation pushing your limits. Sometimes, I think just the word puts me off, because I’ve known some and usually find them quite distasteful. But that’s just me.
The other thing that we have to keep in mind is that roles are constantly shifting throughout the day, and in certain situations.
One other that struck me, was the term “guardian” as a submissive role. I really hadn't thought about this before, but a protector can be a submissive, even when they think they are being dominant. I'm sure you've all seen the fierce Rottweiler, that snuggles up to their owner for a pet. I’ve seen a few like that in chat rooms.
Parade day rules would be rules for formal occasions. Garrison day rules may be for when you're hanging around in the house in sweats. R&R day rules would be for the play and vacation times. And then there's the enemy territory rules. This is the behind enemy lines rules that apply. If I am the captain, you don't salute me, unless you want to get me killed. The same rules apply to mother-in-law's. For god sakes don’t kneel! |
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I can hardly wait for the weekend when there will be three classes by Midori. One is Mapping your D/s archetype which I've been told is very good and another is "Predicament Bondage" which should also be fun. There is a third called "Pink Japan" which is more about Japan's sex culture and what it's like to live there as a transgenger/bi/homosexual, but I don't think I'm going to Japan soon. |
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A few thoughts about Leather Reign so that I don't forget
Doing a bow tie in needle play is fun..
The arms are another good place to stick em.
For decorations with needles get some feathers and a glue gun. The possibilities are endless. Eyeballs can be fun too.
Robert Rubel is fun to listen to. And he's doing a new book.
There are some people that shouldn't be presenters.
I know who I would hire if I ever wanted to do an abduction.
58% (or so) of communication is non verbal. Which is why I probably hate text.
Microsoft project is a good tool for helping plan an elaborate abuction.
Transactional Analysis has grown from the old Parent, Adult, Child concept. Now there are far more ways to miscommunicate.
I want a bullwhip for wrapping. (I think I said this somewhere else but I need to keep reminding myself)
I really wish Kichiro wouldn't kneed my belly when I'm trying to type.
Oh.. and 10 seconds is not nearly enough on a camera timer for getting ready when you have a bunny outfit on. |
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Rituals
I don't know why lately I've been in lots of talk about rituals. What exactly is a ritual? To me it's a method or procedure, which is regularly followed. It can be a ceremonial act. There are all sorts of rituals and levels of rituals. I heard a great definition of a ritual versus habit. A habit is something that you can break, and not feel bad about. Someone starts to bring donuts to the company meetings, and one day they are gone, most people will feel funny about it. Something's just not right. There can also be levels of rituals. A casual ritual could be something that you fall into, such as making coffee for someone every morning. It was never expressed that one should do that, it just came about. Now, someone said, you should make coffee for me every morning, this would be a more formalized ritual. For some strange reason I seem to fall into a lot of rituals. I usually never start them, because I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of person. But it seems like once the ritual is started, I don't let go of it. I have a little ritual with my kitties every night. I feed them these little things called greenies in the bedroom every night. They know I have them, and they run in front of me and wait by the side of the bed to get them. It's not really a meal time is just small treat for them. A ritual can become as simple as making a bed in the morning, or unwinding from work by playing a computer game. If you don't do that you feel cranky all night. One of my favorite rituals that I do every morning, is get up and have a cup coffee. |
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For some strange reason I'm thinking of Georgia hills...
I think I'd like to go
back home
And take it easy
There's a woman that
I'd like to get to know
Living there
Everybody seems to wonder
What it's like down here
I gotta get away
from this day-to-day
running around,
Everybody knows
this is nowhere.
Every time I think about
back home
It's cool and breezy
I wish that I could be there
right now
Just passing time.
Everybody seems to wonder
What it's like down here
I gotta get away
from this day-to-day
running around,
Everybody knows
this is nowhere.
Neil Young
Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere |
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| | I like this one..
"A dominants creed"
Above all else he cherishes his submissive, in the knowledge that the gift she gives him is the greatest of all. He is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to him, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.
He is in control of himself first and foremost, so that he may control others. As a stern and demanding Dominant, he can cause his sub to cry real tears. As the consummate lover, he will then kiss the tears away, without ever stepping out of character.
In times of trouble, a Dominant will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals. He is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality. He would never ask a submissive to put him before her career, or family, just to satisfy his own pleasure.
To win his submissive's mind, body and soul, he knows he must first win her trust. He will show his submissive humor, kindness, and warmth. He must also show her that his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that this is a man she can learn from, and trust his direction.
He is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, he will fight for his ladies' honor. He proves to her that he is someone she can lean on, and depend on.
He is old-fashioned enough to be a bit of a chauvinist, yet modern enough to respect his woman. Quick to point out the differences between them, he also knows there is no inferiority in those differences.
When it comes time to teach his submissive lessons of obedience, he is a strong and unyielding professor. He will accept no flaw, nothing less than perfection from his student. Never does he use discipline without good reason. When he does, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.
He is a careful guide, with safety always his main concern. He knows how to use pain to extend the bounds of pleasure. He is a mentor who can bring her to the edges of her envelope, and gently show her the inner courage to reach new heights.
He is always open to communication and discussion, always ready to hear her wants and needs. He is patient, taking the time to learn her limits, and knowing that as her trust of him grows, so will they.
He never has to demand ritual behavior by her. She responds to him out of the want of pleasing him. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment. He understands the fragile nature of mind and body, and never violates the trust given to him.
He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life. Courageous enough to accept assistance. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit and soul with a little help from rope, paddle and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains most from pleasuring the other. And both of them know that love is the only binding that truly holds. |
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I was driving home from work today and my favorite song came on. At least it is the favorite song for my funeral. I remember seeing it in the theater in the old movie "Alice's restaurant". Joni Mitchell is sitting in a graveyard playing a guitar. It is lightly snowing, and snow covers the graveyard. It is a little solo piece, that she did on another album as a duet. But the very first time I saw and heard it, I knew that's what I wanted... it's odd, because I remember seeing this as a junior in high school..
Songs to Aging Children.
Through the windless wells of wonder
By the throbbing light machine
In a tea leaf trance or under
Orders from the king and queen
Songs to aging children come
Aging children, I am one
People hurry by so quickly
Dont they hear the melodies
In the chiming and the clicking
And the laughing harmonies
Songs to aging children come
Aging children, I am one
Some come dark and strange like dying
Crows and ravens whistling
Lines of weeping, strings of crying
So much said in listening
Songs to aging children come
Aging children, I am one
Does the moon play only silver
When it strums the galaxy
Dying roses will they will their
Perfumed rhapsodies to me
Songs to aging children come
This is one |
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Since it's getting close to Christmas...
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
the Velveteen Rabbit |
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Never depend on the admiration of others.There is no strength in it. Personal merit cannot be derived from an external source. It is not to be found in your personal associations, nor can it be found in the regard of other people. It is a fact of life that other people, even people who love you, will not necessarily agree with your ideas, understand you, or share your enthusiasms. Grow up! Who cares what other people think about you!
Create your own merit.
Personal merit cannot be achieved through your associations with people of excellence. You have been given your own work to do. Get to it right now, do your best at it, and don't be concerned who is watching you.
Do your own useful work without regard to the honor or admiration your efforts might win from others. There is no such thing as vicarious merit.
Other people's triumphs and excellences belong to them. Likewise, your possessions may have excellence, but you don't derive excellence from them.
—Epictetus
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What turns me on? How about.. everything?
Being able to bring someone so close to saying no, then letting up..
Feeling the sting of my hand on a bare tushie while my lips are on theirs and my hand is gripping their hair.
Going just a little farther or bringing something just a little unexpected..
Having her take my belt off with her teeth then using it on her later.
Putting the cuffs on and the spreader bar and bending her over the bed...then taking the flogger out and warming her..
Running my fingernails over a red bottom and looking at the little lines that it leaves...
Putting on the blindfold knowing that she trusts me that much.. then taking out a paddle and slapping at her inner thighs.. narrowing it and getting ever closer..
Running my tongue over her clit.. then slapping it..
Taking those vibrating nipple clamps and placing them on.. or squeezing her nipples and watching her eyes roll back in her head.
Climbing on top of her and pulling her arms above her head.. then whispering nasty little things in her ear. getting her to say just who's slut she is.. moving in her.. grinding and asking just how much she wants it. and carrying her over the edge again and again.. telling her exactly what I'm going to do next..
Or taking that shower in the morning getting all steamy.. then pressing her up against the mirror and grabbing her hair.. bending her impossibly back. slapping her ass then taking my fingers and thrusting them in.. hearing her beg and holding off just a bit.
Smiles.. someday I'm going to find something I don't like.. |
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Music of the Night
Nighttime sharpens,
Heightens each sensation
Darkness wakes
And stirs imagination
Silently the senses
Abandon their defenses
Helpless to resist the notes I write
For I compose, the music of the night
Slowly,
Gently,
Night unfurls its Splendor
Grasp it,
Sense it,
Tremulous and tender
Hearing is believing,
Music is deceiving
Hard as lightning,
Soft as candlelight
Dare you trust the music of the night
Close your eyes -
For your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn’t what you want to see
In the dark,
It is easy to pretend
That the truth is it ought to be
Softly,
Deftly,
Music shall caress you
Hear it,
Feel it,
Secretly possess you
Open up your mind,
Let your fantasies unwind
In this Darkness which you know you cannot fight,
The Darkness of the Music of the Night!
Close your eyes -
Start a journey through a strange new World!
Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before,
Close you eyes and let music set you free,
Only then can you belong to Me.
Floating,
Falling,
Sweet Intoxication
Touch me,
Trust me,
Savor each Sensation
Let the dream begin,
Let your darker side give in
To the Power of the music that I write,
The Power of the Music of the Night!
You alone can make my song take flight,
Help me make the music of the night.
Just smiles at my little birdie
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Drives the different auto..
Listens to Phantom of the Opera..
Loud
You have come here
in pursuit of your deepest urge,
in pursuit of that wish,
which till now has been silent,
silent . . .
I have brought you,
that our passions may fuse and merge -
in your mind
you've already succumbed to me
Dropped all defenses
completely succumbed to me -
Now you are here with me:
no second thoughts,
you've decided,
decided . . .
Past the point of no return
no backward glances:
the games we've played till now are at an end . . .
Past all thought of "if" or "when" -
no use resisting:
Abandon thought,
and let the dream descend
What raging fire shall flood the soul?
What rich desire unlocks its door?
What sweet seduction lies before us . . .?
Past the point of no return,
the final threshold
What warm,
unspoken secrets will we learn?
Beyond the point of no return . . .
*Sings along and just drives* |
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Heh.. got the bike.. seeya |
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Hmmm.. Fourth of July.. the eve of which I would usually spend with the barn animals.. and the dog.. My turn to serve and keep them safe and calm. Not a bad think considering the dogs did the guarding the rest of the year. |
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Hmmm.. working on getting a bike.. Would be nice for travels down the coast.
Heh.. what can I say.. I'm a guy after all |
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Just a lil something about the one that has cancer..
Proud Guardian, Defender of Her Flock
One who would willingly give Her life to save them,
Now, stricken by a Foe only after Her, losing a limb in the fight.
She turns to Me sad eyes asking, “How will I defend them? I am not whole anymore.”
I turn to her smiling, holding back the sorrows I feel inside her head resting against my leg, “You are loved by your charges and your peers. You are still strong, and able to alert the rest. You have always made Me proud. Your role may change a little. It is time for You to teach the Others with the time you have left. You have always led by example. It is now the others turn to defend your charges with the Honor and Pride you have shown. And when You cross over the Rainbow Bridge, You will be missed dearly. But you will be joining the Others that have gone before You. A piece of my heart will go with You, as did the Others take that small piece with them. And when it is My turn I will rejoice in the fact that I will be seeing You and the Others again.”
Smiles at My beautiful girl.. Diva I miss you |
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Saw two of the dogs yesterday.. The smell of them on Me has finally left. One of them has cancer and makes it particularly hard.. A lil poem about her and the clan..
Mornings
The alarm sounds… it’s still dark
The first pink blush of the sun has not yet arrived
The second alarm
The little girl sitting on an uncomfortable spot on my body
starts to awaken me
The Third alarm
Always something different from the rogue boy
Nibbling on my ear
Scattering personal items from the dresser
Dropping them onto the hardwood floor
Makes me laugh
The rush is on
Rising swiftly from the bed,
Fumbling for an old pair of jeans,
Still chuckling over their antics,
I make their breakfast.
Hurriedly tossing on an old jacket,
Grabbing the various medicines
I make my way outside,
Into the cool dampness of the morning sunrise,
I open the gate to the impatient sounds of the two graying sheep
First one, then the other bellowing,
In their own inimitable style,
“We are hungry. Feed us.”
The boy in my soul smiles,
Knowing exactly what to expect.
The dogs react also,
The Big Boy, jumping up on his hind legs,
Rising to a height as tall as I am,
The other two more reserved until I get there,
The youngest girl, coming out of the barn door,
Making her presence known to the world,
“I’m still here!” she says loudly,
Let the world beware, I think to myself,
The older girl still laying down.
The rush is on again.
Food in place, medicine delivered.
Quickly the barn is cleaned as they eat.
The rush is on again
The Boy and the younger girl wait by the gate to the pasture,
Both hardly able to contain themselves.
The gate is opened and they rush off,
The girl,
Still joyously announcing herself to the world,
The Boy silently investigating,
Making sure nothing is out of place.
Both loving their morning work,
Things start to settle down
The sheep slowly make their way out into the pasture,
Knowing everything is safe.
The Boy settles back up on the hill overlooking the pasture,
The girl stays near the sheep,
Letting the world know that she is on guard,
The Boy watching from above,
I make my way out slowly,
Enjoying the sudden peace.
The rush is off.
Mornings. |
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Smiles.. a nice note.. and a beautiful sunset helped the day end well.. Laughs.. just wish the deer would quit eating the bushes.. Different animals now... all wild.. Heh.. some are almost friendly.. Laughs.. Maybe I'll name em.. Lessee.. the seagull.. Norman.. the deer.. dunno.. the rabbit?
Laughs.. better not name the neighbor's cat I guess.. Just nice to see around once in a while.. |
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Smiles.. Fathers day... huh.. Miss My animals most of all.. divorce truly does suck.. glad I didn't have children, the animals are bad enough to take. Heard fireworks last night. That would be the night I would sleep over with them. My turn to protect the sweet little girl who was so afraid of the noise, and protected the sheep so well. Just hold her.. pet her.. soothe her trembling spirit.. Let her know that everything would be ok. *Sighs* I miss that. |
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| Age: 21 |
| United Kingdom |
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Off to a Steampunk event. 