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i am a person. i am a little girl. i am a woman. i am a slut. i am a masochist.
i am a friend. i am independent. i am strong. i am intelligent. i am feisty. i am intuitive. i am trustworthy.
i am needy. i am weak. i am emotional. i am shy. i am quiet. i am opinionated.
i am an audience. i am a show.
At the heart of it all i am submissive from the bottom of my heart, mind and soul .. it IS who and what i am.
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In this search for acquaintances, friends and a partner how does one go about summing up everything about themselves in a segment titled “About Me”? i mean if you give a detailed description of everything about yourself then it could tend to go on and on and be dry and boring or you could write a pretty, flowery prose about all of the wonderful qualities you exhibit, but come on, isn’t that just a bit dishonest? So, having said all of that, how do i write something i’m happy with, but that is an honest peek into what and who i really am?
If i wanted to be fully honest i could create a list here of all of my good qualities and bad qualities as well as listing my likes and dislikes and then tell everyone what i am searching for, but that really does lean towards the boring. So, i’ll just try to “talk” about myself and hope that it won’t be TOboring and still give a sense into me.
i am not a beautiful, stunning, sexy woman, i will not stop a room when i walk in, but i am confident in who i am and i believe i fall into the “cute” category. I can be a little girl one minute and a slut the next. i have faults and fears, just as everyone does, and i recognize them and continually try to work on them. Some of my faults can also be strengths .. i love deeply and i tend to live by my emotions, that’s not to say that i don’t have logical or common sense, just that my emotions tend to intensely rule me. i have a strong sense of right and wrong as well as having very strong opinions and views. i tend to be quiet and can fade into the background, which is a good place to observe and watch from, but i can also be very vocal, the center of attention and a social butterfly. i consider myself an open book, but like any good book, you have to read all of me and not just the bits and pieces you are interested in. Don't expect to jump to the end of this book and know everything you need to know!
i lean more towards the monogamous but have recently had it pointed out to me that i’m not as monogamous as i have always believed. Poly situations and families is not something i will actively seek out but it is also not something i will say “never” to. If the fit is right, if the comfort level is correct, if i feel stable enough and if my emotions lead me in that direction, then it is something i am willing to explore. Outside of that, my submission comes from a part of me so deep inside that i’m not able to name it, when i give; i give with every fiber of my being. i tend to thrive and come alive under a strong hand and a sense of protocol, but only once that right is earned.
i might be masochistic, i may be a slut, i have been called a play whore, and i often classify myself as a rope whore, but i’m not easy. my submission doesn’t come cheap, i don’t play with everyone i see nor do i let just anyone tie me up. i do want my own warped and twisted version of happily ever after, and while searching for that i enjoy playing and experimenting with different forms of play, but there has to be a level of trust, connection and chemistry first. So, while i continue my search for that wicked version of happily ever after and keep an eye out for possible play partners, i enjoy making friends. Drop me a line … let’s see what we can be for each other!
i have many pet peeves but two things will put you on my bad list. Do NOT lie to me, and do NOT cheat on me. Those are the fastest ways to cause me to distrust you ... and i almost always put 2 and 2 together and discover it on my own. i'm clever that way. :)
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Things that have been said TO me, ABOUT me:
“There is nothing slave like about you, you are a great submissive, but not a slave.”
“You truly do have a slave heart, don’t you?”
"If you live what is in your heart, you will be true to yourself and the one you serve."
“Men are intimidated by you. Not intimidated, that’s the wrong word, you have a very strong personality and some men find that unnerving. Some think they can control you, and in the end they just let you run rampant and have your own way. You have yet to find the one that will stand up to you and take total control of you like you desire.” (paraphrased from 2 different people)
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i want …
- i want to be loved
- i want to be appreciated
- i want to be needed
- i want to cuddle and be cuddled
- i want to trust and be trusted
- i want to be Daddy’s little girl
- i want to be Sir’s slut
- i want to be Master’s whore
- i want to be accepted as I am
- i want to be valued
- i want him to control me
- i want him to push my mental buttons
- i want him to push my physical buttons
- i want to be forced
- i want to kneel
- i want to suck his cock
- i want to be tied up
- i want to be beaten.. push me!
- i want to be strapped
- i want to cry
- i want to be made to cry
- i want release
- i want to think “OMG I can’t do that!”
- i want to balk.. “you can’t make me do that!! “ and I want to MEAN that.. and I want him to make me…
- i want to role play.. I want to be the strong, independent woman, and I want to be forced to submit, to kneel, to please him. I want to glare at him.. and I want him to laugh because he knows that I WILL submit because I have no choice
- i want to struggle .. to be overpowered and forced
- i want to be forced to take odd objects into my pussy and anus.. for him (safety concern.. but that doesn’t take away the want)
- i want to be “taken” by a woman with a strap-on while he watches
- i want the above to have a humiliating side bar… I want to be humiliated by some of the things pushed into my pussy, asshole
- i want to be humiliated in public (I see a restaurant.. I see him giving direction that would embarrass me in front of the server or other guests.. )
- i want to be forced to orally pleasure someone else, while HE watches
- i want him to hurt me.. simply because he CAN..
- i want to play with remote toys in public… man that is sexy
- i want to be embarrassed
- i want to be humiliated.. privately
- i want to “endure” something for his pleasure
- i want him to pull my hair.. move me around as he wishes by my hair..
- i want him to pinch my nipples
- i want him to spank my pussy
- i want him to bite and torture my clit
- i want to be tied up uncomfortably
- i want to lick his balls
- i want to suck his cock for an audience
- i want to be “beaten” for an audience
- i want him to do things to me that I don’t know about
- i want to eat a meal at his feet from a dish w/out using my hands
- i want to be under the table “Servicing” him while he eats
- i want to kneel beside him, and eat from his fork (I don’t care if it’s the same fork, I care that he’s feeding me) whatever he chooses to give me – add a blindfold to this for even more fun
- i want to be punished creatively..
- Make me eat food with come on it
- Take away my privileges that make me feel like a person
- i want to be used purely for his pleasure, with no thought to me or my pleasure
- i want to be punished with pain
- i want to be given rules to live by
- i want to be held to them
- i want to be punished if I play “games”
- i want to be of service for him
- i want to do for him
- i want to sacrifice for him
- i want him to want all of this and more
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There’s something about
Kneeling quietly beside Him
my body bruised, reddened, coated, tired
my mind silent, for once ~ for a time
my head bowed, my eyes closed
my lips quivering as His fingers touch me
my submission, unquestioned
my Peace at Hand
~~unknown
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Whatever is in you, whatever you're feeling - feel it. Don't hide from it. Don't try to 'beat' it. Be with it until you undertand it, until you know where it comes from. Then it won't rule you anymore. That's what power is. It doesn't have anything to do with force or subjugation.
---a quote from a book i'm reading.
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If a friendship is capable of ending, it is because it never existed.
~~unknown
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