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Hetero Male Master, 54,  London, United Kingdom
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TheVintageYears

TheVintageYears - photo 1
TheVintageYears - photo 5

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 TheVintageYears

 Dominant Male

 London 

 United Kingdom

 6' 2"

 54

 Hetero

 Caucasian

 06/02/10

 10/20/20

Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

 Loves:

 Orgasm Control (Expert)

 Science Fiction

 Photography (Expert)

 Likes:

 Anal Play (Expert)

 Blindfolds (Expert)

 Bondage (Expert)

 Breast Binding/Play (Expert)

 Canes and Crops (Expert)

 Collars (Expert)

 Corsets (Expert)

 Electrical Play (Expert)

 Fisting (Beginner)

 Gags (Expert)

 Leashes (Expert)

 Massage (Giving) (Expert)

 Mental Bondage (Expert)

 Needle Play (Expert)

 Obedience Training

 Card Games (Expert)

 Tolerates:

 Begging

 Chastity

 Exhibitionism

 Curious About:

 Hypnosis

 Dislikes:

 Crossdressing

 Diapers

 Dilation

 Enemas

These will be my best years!!! I want to share them with a special person!

I used to say that Domination is not what I do, it is who I am, but realised recently that my thinking has been rather tramlined by the tags so often used within the BDSM community. That insight leaves me wanting to find the box that says

intelligent, romantic, sensualist with a quietly dominant and caring nature

I say this without fully understanding what it means to be a sensualist, but it feels more right than leading with dominant.

I am told I have dark corners, a wolfish grin and my eyes can be evil, but I have a soft centre that needs more attention.

I am a tall (6ft 3in), well educated, intelligent and professionally successful, 60 year old individual with a strong and complex personality, one aspect of which is a quietly dominant nature. While gregarious and extroverted I dont have to be the centre of attention. Instead I prefer the attention of those I choose to be with while also being happy with my own company. I am a physicist by training, but I would argue I am also so much more. I have an eclectic taste in music, but have never taken to opera. I enjoy the theatre, but am puzzled by ballet. I read a lot (mainly thriller, crime, Sci Fi, etc) and once pered stand up in Camden. I also have creative side, writing short stories and working with digital photos, videos and designs.

I definitely enjoy quiet, intimate moments and humorous times. I try not to take myself too seriously, but dont always succeed.

I have an active and quick mind. I am ever curious and always open to new experiences. In truth I need to keep my mind fed with new ideas and opportunities, else it will fill with mischief. Finding a mental connection is an absolute must for any lasting relationship. I know that I dont suffer fools gladly.

I mentioned my dominant nature, well that is true, but in both my working and personal lives it manifests in a quieter way than many might expect. I really am not into fetish clothes, nor am I a sadist. Instead I relish and bask in the trust and respect of an intelligent, ined lady whose submissive nature finds a complementary fit against my own personna.

The sensual side is evident in that I find little greater joy than a cuddle after I have made a lady cum. I love to find all those places and things that arouse her, build her pleasure and to then release it. I have learnt that there is little I cannot or will not do with the right lady, though I do have some hard limits and really dont get the adult baby or pet play aspects. Also I reiterate that I am not a sadist. That said in no way do I judge others whose dominance takes those s or those that enjoy receiving it.

There is little sweeter to follow this than, wrapping her in my big arms and quietly enjoying her presence and her energy.

My understanding of Dominationsubmission is that it manifests as the ined and conscious transfer of control from one, the submissive, to another, the dominant, in the belief that it will only be used for their mutual benefit and not to harm or exploit the submissive. It is based on high levels of trust, respect and communication and will operate within constraints of time and behaviour, though those constraints will likely change over time and may be completely removed.

I cannot box up my sensualdominant side and lock it away, so instead I want a partner who will be whole life, ie we can do the vanilla, the professional and the kink. Someone who is an equal in many everyday ways, yet a matching and complete opposite. She will sparkle and light my day, be my muse, yet cut me some slack when I have bad days, as I will at some point. Someone I can rely on in times of difficulty.

In return I will protect, care, nurture and guide her across her many facets. I dont micro-manage, but rather set and ensure the values and behaviours I expect.

I am not a fetishist, well unless you include the simple sensual DominantSubmissive interplay as a fetish? I realised that fundamentally I have no interest in the popular image of fetish. I dress smart, casual and smart casual. I do have black in my wardrobe, but relatively little leather. I have good shoes and quality belts that go around my waist. My hair is mid-length, my beard trim and I have no tattoos or piercings (and no interest in any). I dont wear or particularly like others in PVC, unis, harnesses, adult baby or pet gear, etc nor making someone into a coffee table or standard lamp. As I said that is up to them, but not for me.

I should say that I do love the female , naked or well adorned, possibly in a corset, beautiful lingerie, or well fitting and suggestive day clothes. I just have no need to go fetish.

Similarly I dont want to spend all night every weekend in some fetish club. I can and have enjoyed them occasionally, but my desires are more personal, private between 2 people, and dont need an audience. I saw a Dom write about the dungeon of the mind well that is where I play too and I can erect that anywhere. I have seen requests for a creative sadist. Well as I have said before I am not a sadist, instead I think I am an imaginative dominant sensualist.

As many ladies say they get turned off by profiles with photos of cocks, so I realised that my interest wanes when a ladys photos are predominantly of floggers and sex toys. I want a real person, not a play character someone who would be interesting even if we were both naked and alone in a pitch black room or even paralysed from the neck down lying in adjoining beds.

We all bring baggage and I am no exception having lived for 58 years and explored BDSM and my sexuality for 15 years or so. I can only promise to be open and honest from the start and suspending judgement and hope that is enough.

While it has not always been so, I am extremely comfortable in my own skin these days. I am patient and by, some peoples standards, slow, but I believe in laying good foundations for any relationship that I want to last. I have seen and been part of a number of fast burn, lust-driven Ds liaisons that barely survived a handful of weeks before leaving burnt and smoking husks and considerable hurt to one or both parties. I have little interest in repeating those experiences, hence my considered engagement with a potential partner.

If you have read this far I will leave a parting quirk I will share the fact that I see a huge amount of Ds in the Japanese Tea Ceremony and hope that one day a lady will learn and per it for me.

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Journal Entries:
9/5/2017 1:56:32 AM
What is a slut? Recently I have been talking with a number of self proclaimed sluts, but finding that in most instances I did not “feel it”. Now I know I am not necessarily a typical Dom and that words and titles mean different things to different people, but this lack of connection / lack of desire set me thinking and I wonder if anyone else can help. Where I am right now is considering two forms/styles of slut. I know that as with other elements of human behaviour this is actually a spectrum rather than discrete points, but maybe these starting points will aid comparison and discussion. I will call the first a “traditional slut”. I am not sure traditional is the right term, but bear with me. This slut is focussed on her her own personal gratification. The man and his cock are merely tools to deliver her pleasure. While fucking her main focus is often on achieving her orgasm, unless she wants something from the man when she may give his needs some attention. She has learnt that she gets what she wants by opening her legs, literally and metaphorically. Her loyalty is to herself and rather than being submissive she is something of a passive aggressive bottom. Her need is relentless and her willingness to take risks is often reckless. All that counts is her pleasure. This is the form that has no appeal for me. The other is a submissive lady to whom the term “slut” has been applied (in a loving way!) in this form slut refers to her willingness to readiness to engage in all (well most) forms of sexual activity; something of a martini girl, i.e. Anytime, anywhere, anyhow. That said her focus is on her Dom, his needs and pleasures and in this she is the delivery tool, not him. Her loyalty is to him. She is submissive first and accepts his direction and control. Now I do like this latter form! Does anyone else see it this way? Any alternative views? I am certainly interested to hear other thoughts.

8/1/2017 4:11:10 AM
I don't often use the block feature on any site let alone here. I am one of the most liberal and curious people I know. I love a good verbal joust, a debate, an exploration of different views, but when someone gets hung up over a single spelling error that came about from autocorrect and uses that to judge everything about you, well enough is enough. I am far from being a millennial and was taught English Grammar as a subject at school though I confess it was neither my best nor favourite subject (there could be a link!). That sit there is something to be said for "effective" rather than "perfect" communication. If the reader understand the intent of a piece without undue distraction or extra effort then I consider it to be successful. Additionally if you are going to give it out you have to be able to take it too. I can barely imagine a play session with the lady I have in mind - she would be trying to correct everything I did, judge ever move, never allowing herself to sink into the moment. Severe restraint and gagging would be a temporary solution, but frankly I have better things to do with my time. So I was bored and blocked. I can't be arsed to expend any more energy on her. I may unblock in due course - if I remember :)

6/19/2017 5:39:31 AM
I used to think that this site was pitiful and laden with fakes and frauds, but having recently looked elsewhere I apologise to all the real people here, because there are some really good people here, once you filter out the dross. While one still needs to be pretty savvy here, it is better than most. On one particular site I have been taken in and "invested" in some storylines that would put Hollywood to shame. I don't believe I am stupid and I have no idea what the perpetrators really gain from it all, but the creativity still seems to hook me, and of course I want to believe. I tend to trust people and wear my heart on my sleeve which means that it is easily stamped upon. About a week ago the combined impact of a number of fake interactions took their toll on me, albeit only for few days. I have now pulled back to more even keel and I am developing a finer set of fake detecting senses and techniques. That said I will fall in love agian. Over 20 years I guess I have been seriously catfished 4 times and the scars are still there if you look and listen closely, but I would rather feel and know I am alive than be immune and die from the inside. So if I look to verify your reality sooner than you might expect believe me it is for the best of intentions and I would not ask anything I would not do myself. There have to be strong foundations for any sort of sustainable future.

12/20/2016 8:57:26 AM
That was 2016, that was! Let me start with a big thank you to a number of ladies who have made my year. No, I have not been promiscuous as you will see if you read to the end. I think they will know who they are if they read this. If you are one please take a gentle kiss on the cheek. I find it useful at the end of each year to reflect on the past months as a way of reinforcing the memories and capturing any learning points. This reflection is on that part of my life which embraces and celebrates the dominant nature of my persona. As I have written before I recognised my dominant side something like 20 years ago and initially enjoyed a small number of wonderful relationships with some special ladies. That said for the last 5 years or so I have been l fairly inactive on the BDSM scene. This does not mean that I have not been looking nor that I did not meet anyone online or in person, but they have been very few. In truth the dragon sleeping inside me was in something of a precarious balance with the other demands and constraints on my other life elements. This year I changed something. That something was my profile. In hindsight while I have had profiles on various sites for a number of years they were what I would now call "lure" profiles. None of them lied, they said real things about me, but they were written in a way that I hoped would attract the type of lady I sought. In truth there were relatively few "bites" and the matches were not great.Yes there were some titillating and enjoyable exchanges, but the flames soon died. This year I rewrote my profile to focus on describing me. It was not a "lure" in terms of actively attracting ladies, but rather a "this is me, come speak if you like what you read". I have been pleasantly surprised by the approaches I have received from a number smart, attractive ladies I have been privileged to meet a number for dinner, lunch, drinks or just a chat. That I have not played with any is a reminder of how hard it is to find the right match. Some thought our match was better than I did, while in others my interest was keener than theirs. I really enjoyed meeting them all - I really love the company of a submissive lady. Some I did not pursue as I did not want to lead them on and ultimately hurt them. This was something I decided some years ago. For me this is a long game and not about quick thrills. Others truly inspired my dragon to soar to the heights, but for them something was not right. The year inspired me to write some erotica again - it has been some time since I did that. It has involved some very intense phone and text connections (unfortunately these were intercontinental!) and has taught me or at least clarified a few things. What has it taught me:- I don't get the adult baby thing I am nowhere as interested in spanking as many seem to be I would prefer a taller lady (sorry if that is heightist!) There is still a powerful dragon inside me that awakens with the right lady I am into the creation of pleasure rather than persistence of chastity I really, really need the mental connection with a lady One really has to meet face-to-face to find out what is there I can wait for the right person There is also one thing I am not so proud of. This was my behaviour when the dragon was first awoken near the start of the year. It had been slumbering for so long that when it rose again the desires were over-powering. I behaved rather like a newbie (in a way I was!). I wanted. I lusted. I rewrote all my life plans. Then she said she was not prepared to invest in "us" and like a newbie I would not take "no" for an answer. I was insistent, persistent and frankly not someone I am proud of. She stayed strong and I eventually chained my dragon after a few days, I regained control and my self-respect. I apologised at the time and if she reads this now please know that I would happily apologise again and again. She deserved better and I should have been better. I should have controlled myself better, but my desires were too strong. Something of a backhanded compliment, I guess. In hindsight one might say that she was right not to invest in me. Despite that it made me feel again. I could feel the potential, the possibilities and the power. It is intoxicating. I guess I have disappointed some and others have disappointed me, but I wouldn't miss any of those encounters if I could replay the year.....but I just might have make a better go of a couple of them. So into 2017 with thanks to the ladies that have graced 2016 and the continuing knowledge that this is not a game for me, but something that comes from my core. It is something I cannot and do not want to put aside. The world had better look out when I do find my other true-half.

7/13/2016 3:07:46 PM
Why are so many submissives' photos taken in the bathroom or toilet? Surely there are better locations?

5/16/2016 1:38:23 AM
I may need to resign my commission as a Dom (and maybe my membership of Fetlife)? While I have explored myself and the world of BDSM I have often felt a little out of phase, not quite connected. Recent events have prompted me to think again about certain aspects of what I want and need and thankfully a little clarity has ensued. Before I go on I will say that what follows is only commentary on me and no-one else. I truly try not to judge others, but I do exercise the right to follow my own path. OK, so here it is - I am not a fetishist, well unless you include the simple Dominant/Submissive interplay as a fetish? Simple, eh? Why has it taken so long to articulate it this way. I guess I was still trying to find a place by fitting in. I realised that fundamentally I have no interest in the popular image of fetish. I dress smart, casual and smart casual. I do have black in my wardrobe, but relatively little leather. I have good shoes and quality belts that go around my waist. My hair is mid-length, my beard trim and I have no tattoos or piercings (and no interest in any). I don't wear or particularly like others in PVC, uniforms, harnesses, adult baby or pet gear, etc nor making someone into a coffee table or standard lamp. As I said that is up to them, but not for me. I should say that I do love the female form, naked or well adorned, possibly in a corset, beautiful lingerie, or well fitting and suggestive day clothes. I just have no need to "go" fetish. Similarly I don't want to spend all night every weekend in some "fetish" club. I can and have enjoyed them occasionally, but my desires are more personal, private between 2 people, and don't need an audience. I saw a Dom write about "the dungeon of the mind" well that is where I play too and I can erect that anywhere. I have seen requests for a "creative sadist". Well as I have said in other posts I am not a sadist, instead I think I am an "imaginative dominant". As many ladies say they get turned off by profiles with photos of cocks, I realise that my interest wanes when a lady's photos are predominantly of floggers and sex toys. I want a real person, not a play character; someone who would be interesting even if we were both naked and alone in a pitch black room or if we were paralysed from the neck down lying in adjoining beds. Before I sound like some mad monk, I should say that I can and have enjoyed visiting clubs, using floggers (and much more!) in a club and at home, and orchestrating scenes (including wardrobe) to stimulate a submissive's mind and enhancing the dynamic I share. The key is mixing experiences and sensations from a broad palette for the two of us and no-one else. I realise that I have probably made my search even harder. Finding someone who could be a life partner is hard enough. That the same person is aligned with you in their BDSM interests reduces the probability significantly. Now I am putting myself on the fringe of the main fetish scene, but I am being honest with myself and only that way can I retain hope. Still, the light at the end of my tunnel may seem further away, but somehow it is brighter and even more worth striving for.

5/1/2016 12:26:40 AM
You will come because of what you see You will stay for tis where you want to be I don’t profess to match or compete As we are should be complete I promise I will be true First to me and then you Held in my hand, nestled next to my heart With more to come, that is just the start I will guide and nurture, protect your soul I’ll make us more together, a better whole But if that is not enough, and you will know Please walk away with nothing to owe I’ll cherish the thought you were nearly mine Knowing somehow, somewhere we fell short of a line I will not regret, but happily tell One and all that I wish you well

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