In speaking to some longtime fetishists, I have learned how difficult life with a kink could be twenty to thirty years ago. Before the advent of the internet, any sexually related literature was to be found only in brick and mortar porn shops, and mainstream erotica did not feature many of even the most common fetishes. There were no forums, groups or communities for connection and discussion. Those with a kink had little option but to feel disconnected, alone, and ashamed. A close friend (and submissive) recounts that only a few BDSM themed magazines would portray anything related to a foot fetish. Even mild bondage and dom/sub role-playing was ignored in most pornography. If not neglected completely, fetishism would sometimes only appear in homosexual centered erotica, erroneously promoting the idea that those of straight orientation were uninterested in domination games. This pairing reflects the popular culture view of the time, which frowned upon both homosexuality and fetishism as perversions. As the modern population has become acclimated to the idea of non-traditional gender identities and sexual attractions, the taboo of fetishism has closely followed on these skirt-tails, hoping to find similar acceptance.
Yes, fetishism is slowly edging it's way into mainstream popular culture. What was formerly taboo, unmentionable, has become the central feature of a best-selling trilogy. How many buttoned up American housewives have read these books, discovering an excitement, a curiosity. It is worth questioning, however, how much of the excitement of BDSM is intrinsic to its implied verboten status. Is it exciting because it is forbidden? Admittedly, there is a natural rush to participating in something...well, naughty.
However, the dynamics of domination/submission possess appeal far beyond the thrill of indulgence in the prohibited. Creating and participating in scenarios requires a sexual intellect, making the acts rousing psychologically, not just physically. The practice of BDSM also nurtures a safe environment, where open communication and trust are not only encouraged but demanded. These facts could be behind why people with kinks may be “psychologically healthier”, according to The Huffington Post. In Emma Gray's article “BDSM Correlated to Better Mental Health, Study Says,” research on kinky sex, publish in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, revealed that contrary to popular opinion, those into the kink “scored better on many indicators of mental health than than those who didn't practice BDSM.” As psychologists learn more about paraphilias and the catalysts of their development, facets of BDSM are seen less as symptoms of mental illness. Not so long ago, homosexuality was listed in the DSM-5, as a treatable perversion. Today, this notion is unthinkable by the majority. Those who make such derogatory comments towards homosexuals can be legally sued. Understanding of sexuality has obviously progressed, and now that progression is including BDSM.
As light is cast upon the dark corners of BDSM, the shame of enjoying what does not fall under the label “normal” according to cultural tradition is slowly being eradicated; closet kinksters rejoice. No longer confined to the red light district and seedy clubs, the appeal of domination is traversing boundaries and shattering stereotypes. America is dipping its toes into the kinky dark waters...and the water feels nice. Soon, our generation will come full circle, with the ironic probability that vanilla will be the new kink.
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Works Cited
Gray, Emma. “BDSM Correlated With Better Mental Health, Study Says.” Huffington Post. 5 June 2013. Web. 22 May 2014.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/bdsm-better-mental-
health-study_n_3390676.html
