Note to self (#1)

Should a background check lead you to a closeted cross-dresser living in California, you may have done something wrong in the process, LOL!

©2013 TheBDB

Dear Female Dominant, wherever you are (#3)

Why are you complaining about "one liners?" A message that contains more than one word, after reading my profile would be already an improvement. Where is that female supremacy when you need it? ;p

©2013 TheBDB

Thought of the day

Know your strengths and appreciate your weaknesses ;)

©2013 TheBDB

ma·te·ri·al·is·tic [muh-teer-ee-uh-lis-tik]
adjective
excessively concerned with physical comforts or the acquisition of material things rather than spiritual, intellectual, moral, or cultural values.

©2013 TheBDB

Thought of the day

If I needed financial domination, I would marry and divorce shortly after. ;P

©2013 TheBDB

Everything

I like
is either
illegal
immoral
fattening
addictive
expensive
or impossible

-unknown

Questionnaire of a Quest

The other day I came across a profile with a questionnaire. It contained many questions, the majority of them of the "yes/no" kind. As soon as I got the question number four, it became apparent that I am no match for this woman. Arriving at question number 8 it also became very clear, that no man could fulfill these requirements ever.

Studying art, literature, history, etc., generations after generations before us, struggled with the concept of human relationships and love in general. All rationalizations in the past have failed, and are domed to fail in the present. Why should it be any different with any kink-based relationships?

Time for my very own questionnaire, and I am not giving you an option to fail! OK, that last one may be a trick question. ;p

• Vanilla or Chocolate
• Black or White
• Coffee or Tea
• Cream or Sugar
• Coke or Pepsi
• Salt or Pepper
• Sweet or Sour
• Hot or Cold
• Love or Devotion
• Laugh or Cry
• Ups or Downs
• Beauty or Brain
• Cats or Dogs
• Books or Movies
• Theater or Concerts
• Mac or PC
• Day or Night
• Sun or Moon
• Mild or Wild
• Surrender or Submission
• Control or Power
• Your way or Highway
• Liféstyle or Lifétime

©2013 TheBDB

Edit: The automatic word checkers here have become pathetic. Apparently is not possible to use correct spellings for Liféstyle and Lifétime. My appologies. :(

Thought of the day

For some reason I was thinking about this childhood joke:

The Masochist begs, "spank me please." The Sadist's answer: "NO!"

Well the funny thing is, that at the end of the day both of them will go home unsatisfied. More troubling is, this seems to be business as usual for most of the time on this site. ;)

©2013 TheBDB

Thought of the day

The only thing more disappointing than my failing to sense your needs, is your inability to tell me what you actually want.

©2013 TheBDB

Random Acts of Life #5

Today I went to the convenience store to grab some quick food. The cashier was flirting with me, and touched my arm while handing over the change. If a male would have done that to a woman, he would have gotten trouble because of sexual harassment. Women do have the upper hand more often than one realizes.

©2013 TheBDB

Word (#2): Slave

I bet that 99% of the users here have not the slightest idea what being/having a slave means. Yet that word is used all over this place. From reading a lot of profiles here, that 1% left and looking for a slave, fall into two categories:

• Lazy people who are looking for a domestic slave.
• Cheap people, who are looking for unpaid farm workers.

Don't have much problems with the first group, but the 2nd one is mind blowing! ;)

©2013 TheBDB

Thought of the day

Yes, I am devoted, and no, you don't have a say in this... ;p

©2013 TheBDB

Thought of the day

Did you know that I am fiercely loyal? Sorry that one has to be stubborn and hardheaded to do so... ;p

 ©2013 TheBDB

Notable Quotes

Here are some memorable quotes I found and collected over that past view weeks. All of them from Dommes and female switches. I kept most of them original, although I had to shorten a couple of them. Enjoy!

• Let's be extraordinary together, instead of just ordinary apart.
• Whatever needs to be maintained by force is doomed.
• Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.
• If you never fail, you aren't taking enough risks
• You talking to me about "Fifty Shades of Grey" is like a guy trying to impress his philosophy professor by quoting "Green Eggs and Ham."
• Some people want it to happen... Some people wish it to happen... Others tear down the walls of resistance and make it happen.
• Honestly since joining this site I have seen more tiny wieners than a maternity ward nurse.
• I will not allow some book or lifestyle dictate my relationship.
• I am not perfect, but my love has the potential to be limitless.
• Don't send me photographs of your charming penis, I doubt I could ever love it as much as you do.
• Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

 ©2013 TheBDB

Pants on Fire!

Well it has bee a while, and no this is not another fake rant. This is about motivation. We all have our different reasons to be here. Sometimes these reasons lead to confrontation, and disappointment.

Shortly after my person of interest (I call her the one who got away) departed here, I came across a beautiful written profile. And I quote: just dont ever lie to me because I dont lie , the truth might hurt but lies make one feel as if there a game.

Who wouldn't be moved by such a statement? Well I did, and I wrote a nice letter to her. Never mind that I never got an answer back, but within 48 hours, that women got 4 years younger, and lived in an entirely different state.

Finally this weekend she came out of hiding her profile, now more than 10-years younger, again living in a entirely different state, and with a different ethnicity. The icing on the cake was the journal entry complaining that "everyone here on CM is a fake." Well a catfish or a complete insane person.

Either way, it is reasonable to say that being overly cautious here on CM may be a necessity. I fear that there are way too many women here, with their main reason to be entertained, and nothing more. No intention to ever start a relationship for real. It might be even fear of getting close to someone. Sadly it is just a game for them.

The big majority are locking for slaves, which takes all the emotions out of the equation. The way I see it, the word "slave" is way too quickly used, not even considering its implications on both, the dominant and the submissive side. Well I am not one, and I am looking for a relationship in real life, romantically and otherwise with all the perks that come with it. And I am not expecting it to be easy...

©2013 TheBDB

State of Mind #10

There is value in anything happening in your life. If you cannot treasure the small things, you will not be ready for the big ones, once they hit you. And don't let your own negative experience blind you, missing out on joy and fun. Only a true open mind will be able to find what they seek. You don't have to be perfect for that. Perfect only gets in the way of things. Just be yourself. That's all it needs. That's all I seek.

©2013 TheBDB

Bastos? Anyone? If you know what it means, drop me a message! ;)

©2013 TheBDB

Never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy...

Well, I can't get birdy out of my head. There isn't a day I am not thinking of her. Wondering what I may have done wrong, or if my timing was just off. It sucks that I can't talk to the one, who actually can give you an answer. And the least of things is, to talk about this. I want us to have some fun, explore, being silly, and do crazy things. Crazy as much as I am crazy about you. What causes me to act like such a fool? ;p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MANKljb1p-Q

©2013 TheBDB 

Today

A light bulb at the worst reachable position died, my coffee maker broke so that I had to buy a new one, and now I got a roof leak right at the beginning of the rainy season. What else is new? Yes, Happy New Year everyone! ;)

©2013 TheBDB

Final thoughts on 2012

This year, related to my personal life, has been amazing. I got quite some things accomplished, especially related to my personal interests. Finally I got to learn things, that I had to wait for more than 20 years. It has been the most productive and most inspiring year for quite a while. In a way I am a little sad to say goodbye 2012.

This is/was also the year that I finally opened an account here on CM. And it has been a journey. Ups and downs all the way. There has been a lot of negative, and quite some disappointments. I tried to refuse to get pulled down, and it is not always easy. So far I haven't found a dear friend and lover. But I did have a couple of connections that have been promising and amazing. Although these ended for various reasons, it gives me hope.

So, I am looking forward to a new year. Let's see if it can top the old one. Poised to start with a blank new paper, eager to learn more about people, and myself. I wish everyone the best new year possible. May it be as fantastic as the old one has been for me.

Happy New Year!

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #9

Somehow today I feel beaten up like Sylvester ;p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8NUEyUpbdk

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #8

It looks like I am at an impasse. Got a glimpse at a cute little bird, only to see her disappear flying into the sky. Too quickly with emotions, my imaginations got the better hold of me. Darn! Well it will go away eventually. I hope she is happy! I was for a very brief moment.

©2012 TheBDB

Dear Santa

It should be clear what I want. Yeah, I know it is not about what I want. But let's face it, if it happens, I am the one who is ending up all wrapped and tied under the tree. So no harm done! ;p

In that spirit, my best wishes to everyone who comes across my profile: Have a Merry Christmas!

©2012 TheBDB

Word (#1): Female Supremacy

OK, these are two words, highly overused if I may say. Besides meeting such females time by time in real life, I had some communication here on CM with women who are superior in more than one way. They are superior in what they do, in how they manage their life, how they express themselves, and how they talk to you. None of them had to mention it in their profile!

©2012 TheBDB

Random Acts of Life #4

So, you are about to start dinner, picking up that fork, and then the telephone rings. On the other end of the line, the operator asks to talk to the head of household. I am always getting confused and irritated about this question. For one what the answer should be in the first place, and secondly is this even a legitimate question to begin with. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #7

There are moments in life, that are just perfect and comforting. All the ups and downs, all the people who you have met, who helped, inspired, or offended you, basically the summary of all your positive and negative experiences just add up. It creates this crystal clear image. In that very moment, the pieces of the puzzle called life do make sense, destine to get out of focus again. Instead of holding on what will change, one should enjoy for long as it lasts. At this very moment, I am happy and calm. Very lucky that I have met you, and thankful that we have talked. I am on the top of the world.

©2012 TheBDB

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You've just crossed over into... the Twilight Zone.

So many profiles post quotes of someone else here on CM, quess I had to quote someone too. So why not Rod Serling? It seems to fit very well. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #6

Often when I get emotional about people, situations, and things, I seem to screw up. Out the window goes rules, and self control. Unintentional forgetting things that I should be aware of. In this state I have offended, turned tables, or hurt people in the process. Once I realize what I have done, it can bug me for years.

One should think that after so many years I should have gotten a better handle on this. I have gotten better with screwing up less, but guilt afterwards is still very powerful. I guess it is work in progress. It is not often that I have the chance to apologize. Life sometimes just moves too fast.

In any case, my sincerest apologies for anything I have done, that I am not aware of. I am sorry should I have offended, annoyed, or hurt you. By all means, I am not perfect. Being human is not a state, it is a journey.

©2012 TheBDB

Make us laugh, make us cry
Pain, and pleasure the desire
Talk and listen
So we do connect
Anything is better
Than nothing at all
Perfection is however
Having mastered it all

©2012 TheBDB

Mirror Mirror

CM is so educational. I am learning so much about myself. For example a Domme with attitude causes an attitude in me. One who lies and is generally not a good person, causes a lot of attitude. Add being "bitchy" to the above, I am ending up with way too much attitude.

On the other hand, genuine people who are nice to me, show real interests in me, tend to calm me down. It is so much easier to submit to a non con-frontal sweet person. And this can be achieved with very little effort.

©2012 TheBDB

What just happened?
Very close to my heart
So familiar yet far away
A feeling destine to stay.

The need to see you
At first in the morning
Longing to be near you
No matter what you do.

And late at night
When I close my eyes
Imprinted you still remain
Feeding dreams of my brain.

Amazingly it does not matter
What brought us together
For that you opened a new door
All about you is so much more.

A burning desire to belong
Thinking of you all day long
Focused on you so high above
Wondering if this could be …

©2012 TheBDB

If you don't read my profile, you will burn in hell, and I smack you on your way there!

The number one complaint is about not reading profiles!

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #5

Is it weird to seek someone sane on this site? ;)

©2012 TheBDB

I am small, dark, and some...

OK, that is one out of three, LOL! Just to put this out there, that often the Tall, Dark, and Handsome still applies even on this site. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #4

Fear is a powerful (de-)motivator. Fear of all kind of things like the unknown, the pain, the frustrations, the disappointments, and the rejection. But the sum of all these do not match up with the fear of the void that follows a relationship that wasn't meant to last. Starting all over again with a new search scares the hell out of me. Choose wisely!

©2012 TheBDB

Rhetoric #2

EnOUgh of T/that U/upPerCAsE, LOweR/cAse, slash aNyThiNg stuFF. CoRRect S/spELliNg iS pUNishMent eNOugH. sTop spAnK-ing the E/enGliSH lANgUAge.

©2012 TheBDB

Mining Element 79

A black AMEX card can be bought. A simple Sears Platinum MasterCard must be earned. 

Seeking a partner from the 1% may not get you there. But it lets you for sure look like a non-contributing fool of the 47%.

The only people who know the real value of money, are the ones don't have enough to put food on the table.

There is not enough gold in the world, that equals a dear companion who understands and nurtures you.

Gold is just one color. It takes more to build a rainbow.

Money does not buy you a golden heart.

©2012 TheBDB

Amazon Wishlist #2

Some Amazon Wishlists are more fascinating than the related profiles listed here. At times a very deep insight into someone's life, laying out all kind of things that drives them.

There is the girl that went head over heels with way too many and way too big dogs. Her Amazon list looks like an inventory order for a pet store. And there are the women who list items that I never could afford, even if I sold both of my kidneys, and threw an eyeball on top of it. Luxury item that do not have any personal value or do not make any life easier or more enjoyable.

But there are hidden gems in these lists! Often these are not even linked or mentioned in the profiles. As usual I do my homework and investigate. Guess I have a new kink after all: CM voyeurism. Items like books, music, and videos can present someone with an entire new dimension and prospective.

A few days ago I discovered a list, that have a lot of movies that I do already own in my personal collection. And not just mainstream commercialized Hollywood stuff. Things that you only aware off, when you travel, have an open mind, and your personal social life is fulfilling and nurturing.

Who would have thought that a simple little DVD on sale for $10.99 on Amazon can make such a huge difference! Fueling the desire to get in someones head, get to know them as a person. All the sudden the kinks the lead to CM in the first place, have very little meaning if at all.

©2012 TheBDB

The Ups and Downs...

I am a, often despised here, bottom. Nothing different than the other 90% of men here. However this is not the reason why I am here. For that I do not need a partner. Who else better to know what turns me on, than myself.

I don't need anyone reflecting my very own desires. A robot can do that. Not looking for someone doubling up on my own needs. I already know them. That special someone has to add and enhance my life. It is your desires that interests and drives me.

In that spirit, my kinks are unimportant. It is only the hard limits that defines me. Anything else is in the open to be explored. But for now until proven otherwise, I am a bottom.

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #3

Often I can't seem to find the most desired attribute called Honesty in the profiles requesting it.

©2012 TheBDB

Rejection

Yes it does hurt, but rejection is part of life. I don't mind a clear message in that regard. The way to look at this is, a rejection is a miserable, fueled by lies, time wasting relationship avoided.

From reading a lot of female profiles, men are master in just cutting off communication. However female supremacy is nothing short in that regard either. Just a half a step behind fellow men. Have some class! Send a clear and non ambiguous message. Even if you only spend the two seconds that it takes you to click that "Good Luck" button, it places you way above anyone else.

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #2

Your desire is defined by the person close to your heart, in more ways than you can imagine.

©2012 TheBDB

State of Mind #1

The Bene Gesserit had it all wrong. Fear is not the mind killer. Fear is the relationship killer. With expectations blindfolding your very own desires. Add a certain self image and a bit of shallowness to the mix, it is a recipe for disaster. Don't try this at home! I am an expert... for all of the above. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Amazon Wishlist #1

Gifting a BDSM implement to a Domme, is the equivalent of giving a toaster to your domestic wife for her birthday. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

More politics

• If you are a Liberal, I will admire you
• If you vote Democrat, I will respect you
• If you a registered Republican, I will try to understand you
• If you are a member of the tea party, you belong locked-up with the criminally insane.

I promise this will the last one for while. This should make up for that "castrating Obama supporters" more than enough. It gets old, and does not really belong here. Besides I think of myself being open to other ideas, as long as they are well founded.

©2012 TheBDB

A certain uncertainty

When I don't understand anything, I am abstracting my thoughts and try to view it from all kind of different directions. It is the way my brain processes information. So, it can be, that I have two or more opinions about one subject matter. Some Dommes may interpret that as me being confused. I call it a missed opportunity for them to implant their very own ideas into my conscience. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

The political profile

Some profiles I encountered, contain political statements. One person stating her desire to castrate every man who votes for Obama. Funny! Well at least she understood that it wasn't Obama causing all the economic trouble we have now. Anyhow, some political incorrectness from my side:

• I am a die-hard liberal. Liberal as in no guns AND no gun laws.
• Stop calling Democrats liberal! Such statements makes you look ignorant. I am liberal. Democrat is just as far right wing I am willing to go.
• IMO Obama is the most right wing democratic president we ever had. Saying he is a socialist is only confirms your lack of education.
• A little more than 12-years ago, I predicted that if George is elected, he will destroy the economy. He ultimately exceeded my expectations by a huge margin. We will not fully recover for years to come.
• This time around, I predict that if Mitt is elected, we will further fall to a level of a 3rd world country.
• The so called independent voters are closeted republicans, ashamed to publicly admit their support for the GOP.
• I am against late term abortion. However the right to choose is fundamental and I fully support it.
• Life begins at birth. Your ranking within our society is defined with your experience. What defines us are the connections we have and maintain to other people. Ultimately that is what defines us as human.
• I always value a mom's life higher than a fetus. Unfortunately in our society age has become a negative. What ever happen to respecting our elders?
• The GOP is busy to protect the unborn, but as soon as we step into this world, they are turning it into a living hell. No education, no social net, no medial, and NO rights what-so-ever.
• Right wing is not about rights. It is all about taking them away.
• Every politician who vows not to raise taxes, is unelectable.
• Instead politicians should vow not to make backroom deals anymore. They should vote for bills only that are exclusively on the subject. No more dirty tricks for an hidden political agenda.
• Real Americans who can afford it, support the US in paying taxes. Our value starts and ends with improving education, science, infrastructure, and making this earth a livable place.
• If someone cries because they feel they are paying too much taxes, just shut up. Those cry babies are the real freeloaders of our society, and not the ones who cannot afford to pay them.
• BTW I pay a higher percentage than any of the two candidates.

OK, now I lost about half of the people who might be slightly interested in me. Well, not a big loss IMHO.

©2012 TheBDB

Funny Profiles

Some profile's 1st sentences, out of context are very funny. Especially when looked at in preview, not having the proper formatting. No offense to anyone!

The best way to get a sub into the mood to take out the wallet, start your profile with:

• Hello bitches!
• Hey LOSERS!
• Hey Losers, (again?)
• Greetings fuckers!
• Welcome To My World FILTHY LOSER!
• Hello to all the filthy swine out there.
• THE JERKS & WORTH-LESS BUNCH OF CUM SUCKING ASSHOLES

On the contrary, some real funny, and some accidentally funny profile beginnings:

• THESE ARE THE RULES ON HOW A SLAVE SHOULD APPROACH THIS PROFILE.
• Not looking
• I need Cheese you worthless rats! (LOL'd real hard on this one)
• i'm a vacation in a body baby....
• I am still young, innocent and uncorrupted. (18-year old DOMME)
• Surrender to me... "You are the definition of perfection..." (I know that I am perfect!)
• Interested in talking?  We can do so on Facebook.
• …currently working towards doctral degree. (even funnier if I could post the screen name)
• Lesbian domme looking to dominate men... (a serious post, still funny though)
• I am looking for I pay pigs… (the pig gets paid?)
• I ONLY do online arrangements! (are we talking flowers or furniture?)
• so single (as in single line profile)
• i dont want to post what im looking for…
• I am here to entice your fantasies… (reverse psychology)

©2012 TheBDB

Hard Limits

• No one from the deranged state of California. If you need to special mention in your screen name "cali"-something, it makes you look foolish.
• No Birthers: don't want to foster your insanities, or your kids.
• No TEA party members. Don't be a wuss and drink some real coffee, and not that watered down and diluted nonsense.
• No tantrika, paprika, or other fruits.
• No one with a misspelled first name. Prefer Jorja to be still spelled with two Gs. And no, Spechelle does not make you special.
• No one with a screen name that starts with a positive adjective follows by a name. Examples: AuthenticAlice, BeautifulBeatrice, LovelyLea.
• Absolute no Blondes, natural or otherwise!

If you thought for one moment I was serious with most of the above, I am NOT interested in you. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

A confused profile

The other day I was reading a profile, and it listed Atheism and Agnostic as a hard limit. A self declared Christian despises non believers, who never ever killed anyone in the name of a religion or whatever deity. That person also indicated interest in Occultism. So she would prefer to sleep with the devil, over having to deal with someone who does not have any religion? And I thought I was confused.

The longer I walk this earth, I came to the conclusion, that (most) religions are about teaching hate. If you are following a religion, I do respect and honor that. For the right person, I would even drive you to your church, and patiently wait outside for you to return. And I would not try to change you, no mater how misguided in my view your believe system is. Somehow, I never get the same respect or treatment...

©2012 TheBDB

What am I looking for?

Short version, vanilla on the outside, kink on the inside. I do seek an emotional and intellectual connection, with shared interests in both worlds. Ultimately I need to fall for my Domme, so that I cannot stop thinking about her. In other words a domantic relationship. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

The unfashionable Dominant

Seeing your Domme unclothed suppose to be a reward. An opportunity rarely given, and never for the sub to see the body entirely. Should servicing be on the menu, a blindfold helps a sub to focus on the task at hand. Any kind of distraction should be avoided most of the time. So why are there Dommes posing naked here on CM? These women are giving away that reward for free. Ultimately diminishing my duty to work for such a gift, you have become worthless to me.

Love shoes, got a fetish for them. So do some Dommes, showcasing their entire collection in countless pictures posted. Here is a little tip, show your best pair only! A statement that you love wearing heels, keeps an interested person fantasizing about you. Especially for someone who has taste, and some of your footwear is just plain ugly. Stimulate teasingly someone's brain, and they keep thinking about you for a long time!

The Grim Reaper Dommes: Picture for picture trying to look as serious as possible. Did all these one liner messages made you that mad? Dominance comes from within. Mimicking superiority with your face only, is destine to fail. A well placed smile instead can move mountains!

Video greetings are a double edged sword. If you are not good in front of a camera, don't know how to act, don't know what to say, don't know how to set proper lighting, then don't do them. It does not help either, when children are running and crying in the background. Clicked on a couple of videos here, and ended up rolling on the floor laughing. The irony was too much for not being comical. Needless to say the aura of that little dominance diminished even before the clip ended.

©2012 TheBDB

The fashionable Dominant

Am I the only one who got tired of fetish clothing? Yes, at a younger age it had some attraction like the forbidden fruit. But over the years it has lost its power. Nowadays an all leathered up women seems boring. Although a knee-length leather pencil skirt does still have some bite.

Couple of profiles had images of the Dommes wearing a simple longer skirt, a huge turn on and so much more inspiring! A satin bra strap sticking out underneath a tank top, does so much more for me than posing in a catsuit holding a whip.

Wear a flirty dress with the right amount of cleavage, to occupy my mind. If you really want to push my buttons, a wrap dress that I never get permission to untie, keeps me thinking of you for days.

You cuddled up in an over-sized sweater sitting comfortable on the sofa, and me kneeling at your feet unclothed in the cold awaiting your command, is the ultimate tease and denial. That is what I imagine when I read the expression Sensual Domme. Guess I am just weird. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Dear Female Dominant, Wherever you are (#2)

• You're looking for a house boy, your personal slave
• Doing your chores and some more...

As a single I do all these things already. I do cook, do the dishes, clean and wash. No stranger to the iron and sewing machine either. This is how things gets done. What else is there?

• You're going to discipline, your personal slave
• For things done badly, or not at all...
  

Well I have that already too. Failing to do laundry, there is nothing fresh to wear. Not going to get groceries, I do starve. All the domestic tasks, I do have to take care of now. Failing them has a profound and direct impact on my life. What else is there? Nothing more to offer?

I am dying of thirst in an ocean of emotionally mute Dommes! The majority of female dominant profiles have been reduced to the simple mechanics of D/s. No better than a NSA sex ad.

For me, an emotional connection, and some kind of physical attraction are essential. And I cannot have a lazy Domme. It will reflect badly on her sub. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Copied from an existing profile:

HEY IM A RICH SEXY VICIOUS WOMAN WHO SEEKS PLEASURE IN DOMINANCE...SO I WANT SLAVES NOT JUST A SLAVE.AND THE BEST OF ALL SLAVES WOULD BE INVITED TO COME AND LIVE WITH ME IN MY $250,000 MANSION LEFT FOR ME BY MY Dad upstate.

Gonna bet that this feMALE is in a bit of a pickle, and desperatly needs some 419? Hey lady, $250K does not buy you a Mansion in any of the 50 States! It does not even buy you a grass shack in Hawaii. You are poor, we get that. But please for the good of you, get something to eat! At 6'2" and 56 lbs, you barely even exist. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Very often I see this kind of profiles. And these users are online all the time. How does such profile even work? No image, no interests, no text, and no journal. Do men really contact these Dommes? Why???

More importantly, what kind of subs do these females try to attract? And what are the males going to write in the 1st place? "Hi Silly you, I love your profile. Can we hookup? I'm into sensory deprivation." ;)

©2012 TheBDB

By now everyone should have gotten the notion, no pictures of male genitals for the ladies. Not in the profile, or even worse in an introductory message. I got that, even though I would not have had such an idea in the first place.

So how come so many female profiles contain penises in their profile? I did not ask for them either. Especially the ones with the balls nailed to the table. :( At times I am questioning female supremacy in general. ;)

©2012 TheBDB

What ever happened to the As and Bs?

It is a national epidemic! The As and Bs are on the endangered species list. On the brink of extinction. Rarely encounter a C. This unsettling fact needs to be rated as F in my book. It seems the alphabet on CM starts at D and goes straight to DD, and beyond.  ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Noticed that some females complain about the "Admirers" feature here on CM. For one they want you to send a message when added, others are unhappy that they do not have control over it. H-E-L-L-O, anyone out there? It seems to be easier to find intelligence in real than in cyber space. It used to be, that someone had to be smart to logon onto the Internet. Now everyone can do it.

The "Admirers" feature on my side is called favorite list, and there can be many reasons to end up there. So, how does anyone end up on mine?

• There may be some real admiration for you. You must have written some outstanding profile and journal entries, and I think you are hot. I may be just too shy to contact you. Anyhow, if you think you rule, why not take charge and contact me to find out?
• It may be a profile that lacks a small thing, or something little is off. A near match, but there is something like age, location, expectation that cannot be met. No need to waste anyone's time.
• A profile that is promising, but incomplete. I am patiently waiting for additions, that may clear things up.
• CM members I am very interested in, who however haven't logged on for months.
• I added you late at night, in order for a re-read at some more convenient time.
• Something that you wrote on your profile/journal, that I like to use and/or comment on in my journal.
• How can anyone not have BrokeAssDominant on their favorites list ;)
• I do hate your guts.

My favorite list is very short. If you are on it, consider yourself lucky, or not ;)  My blocked users list on the other hand is huge:

• A single image with single paragraph that contains one email address gets blocked.
• Just a hint of "scammer" will be blocked immediately.
• Stupid, uninspiring, low life FinDom ads, are blocked.
• An irritating front door image earns you a place on the hidden list.
• Not just men, many female lie about their age here often. Stating you're 45-ish, but look older than my Mom, there is a place on my hidden list for you too.

I do not block/hide Pro Dommes, even though I have no interests in them. "Live and let live" is a fundamental believe of mine.

However, for the two who ended up on my subscribed journal list, that is an entirely different story...

©2012 TheBDB

Dear Female Dominant, 25-ish, Wherever you are

Smiling at me, so innocent
Lovely photo, lifted in contempt

Taken from a models' book
We both know you're a crook

Promise the world, set an easy bar
Everyone knows, what you really are

Time to say goodbye, you pretty doll
You're a male scammer, simply a troll

Such an easy thing, that must be done
Click "Block User", and you'll be gone

In response of the rampant proliferation of fake profiles. Did I mention that I suck at poetry? I don't think it matters in this case though ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Tease and Denial is just a nice way to say, that you don't get to call a doctor when having an erection lasting four hours or longer ;)

©2012 TheBDB

If I could hold you in my arms
And rock you to sleep
Drain those tears
And wipe them clean
Gladly take your pain, so you don't
For that I am stronger
Yet you are the one
Who tied my hands.

Sorry, poetry is not my thing. Almost in tears, I just read the most heart breaking profile ever! Just the best I could come up with so quickly, and I leave it at that.

©2012 TheBDB

Random Acts of Life #3

I am trying to be conscious about other people in my day to day life. What I mean, I am trying to be nice, and do things like holding the door, no matter the gender, age, or race. I don't bully into a parking spot, and make space with my car for the traffic to merge. Whatever step you take in this life, something else has to give. Any action cause an equal reaction, plain physics. Isaac Newton if I remember correctly. It is an impossibility to have all of your actions count, but make sure that some of the steps you take stand for something.

Anyhow back to the holding the door thing. You can learn a lot about the people you are holding the door for. There are the ones just walk straight through it, acting like they own the world. Other ones acknowledge you with a smile, thank you, and/or even stop to hold the door for the next person following them. Think of this person being a Domme. Whom would you serve?

©2012 TheBDB

Random Acts of Life #2

Ahhhh, the horror of online chat. It has the discomfort level of telephone interviews. Especially when audio fails you, and fast paced typing is required. I just suck at it. There is always something that I said, and then I am pulling my hair about it afterwards. Online Chats are the equivalency of humiliation and degradation for me. If you are into those kinks, I dare to invite me to chat. I promise that I look like a fool afterwards every single time.

©2012 TheBDB

I am reading this journal about someone who is struggling to find the right sub. It heartbreaking to me to see someone going through all these troubles and low points over and over again. I do have some great admiration for her. She is smart, witty, articulate, and very beautiful in my eyes. But there is a clear break down in communication and expectations in my humble opinion. And the problem lays not just with the subs. But how do you tell that to a Domme?

This is one of the reasons for my journal here. I know I do "bitch" a lot about many things. But I am trying to do this in a humorous way, and I never will expose anyone by name. My primitive writings are one specific groups of Dommes. Sorry, Pros and Freeloaders are not on my list. 

The person I am looking for has a job, hobby, or interests outside of kink. Someone who can stand on her own feet. Don't waste all of your energy entirely on me. Make a difference in this world. Make me proud serving you because of what you do, and not because you know how to push my buttons.

Common (vanilla) interest are essential. Let's go together to a massage course! Ultimately you only can profit form it ;) Take interest in my vanilla life as well. But in my view, in order to get something achieved and working, we have to "sandbox" the kink in a relationship. Unfortunately there are too many rules what a D/s relationship suppose look like. Sadly way too many people just follow them blindly. Are you a sheep following the herd, or are you a true leader?

©2012 TheBDB

Random Acts of Life #1

The other day bought some alcohol and had to show my ID. The only time that a nanny state actually lets you feel good about yourself ;)

©2012 TheBDB

Religion is the source of all evil in this world. The only thing that brightens the day is faith. Never let religion dictate what your faith should be. Believe in the good, in doing no harm, and most importantly in yourself!

©2012 TheBDB

How to find quality Dommes 101

Lesson 1: Weed out the mediocre.

Most important part of the search for a quality Domme, is to detect the sub-par profiles, and may block them. Here is a suggested list, not meant to be comprehensive:

1. Avoid the hoarders at all costs! These are profiles that have more friends than a dog's flea count after a stroll through the forest. To a lesser degree avoid Dommes who are in the business collecting subs, unless this IS your fetish. What a waste of bandwidth loading all these images too. You can safely assume that any pretending Domme with so many friends, is in actuality a 24/7 slave in a RT situation submitting to CM.
2. Avoid profiles that contain the two words "alpha" and "male", and in that order! Usually these Dommes live in a dream world. A "real" alpha male snips with his fingers, and the 20 to 30 year old women line up for him to pick. And there are  the ones who think they are an alpha. Met many of them, most of them are a-holes, and it was relatively easy to dethrone them. Often the Dommes seeking for an alpha male are so delusional, they would not recognize one standing in front of them having a label "alpha male" dangling from his dog collar.
3. Doomsday preppers. Unbelievably I found one of those on CM! I am guessing the dungeon is under ground, has it own power generator, food for two years, and and can withstand a nuclear attack. Gas masks are standard issue!
4. Any profiles that contains the words [enter name of a deity here] fearing. "Don't you know that posting on CM is a sin?" :)
5. A profile that contains one or more images showing you THE finger. It is a clear signal that that person is not interested in anyone including you.
6. Profiles from people who think kilograms are pounds. Not knowing that there is a metric and imperial system: Scammer.
7. An all CAPS profile: Cover your ears and run!
8. No written profile, and no journal entries: Lazy
9. Profile that contains an email address, and a suggestion to use it: Fake
10. Profile that contains an amazon.com wishlist: Get a job!

So don't waste your time with those! Did you know that "don't waste my time" is the most used phrase in the above profiles as well?

©2012 TheBDB

Pardon my amateur thoughts so far. However I will continue sharing my personal, and at times naive, views about my experiences here. One only can hope that no one takes my journal entries too serious. ;)

So, what do you call an obsessive person, controlling every aspect of his/her spouse's life? Up to a point where it is excessive around the clock, 24/7? Yep, a lunatic! That person clearly needs some psychiatric help. Now you add BDSM to the mix! All the sudden that nutcase is now considered a Dom/Domme, and it is expected to show respect. :(

Ultimately as a sub, you may end tied up on the floor defenseless, and having your life in his/her hands! This brings me to my disappointment with the big majority of cookie-cutter profiles here on CM. These boring, and uninspiring profiles! Showcasing a collection of fetish clothing, including the standard set of introduction, and most (un-)importantly how to address the lady. Though the more advanced profiles do have some journal entries containing constant complaining about fakers and flakers. :(

It seems the big majority of men shoot at everything that moves here on CM. I tend to be a bit more selective. There are only a hand full of profiles that really are outstanding, and worth considering. The rest is garbage. So, if you are a Domme, prove to me fist that you deserve my submission. Don't care how many years of experience you have. Show me your humanity, and you are capable of interacting with people. Tell me your interests outside of kink, your hobbies, and dreams. In other words "state your sanity."

Within reason, kinks always can be negotiated. There is always an opportunity to find common ground. A personal connection is much harder to achieve, and more importantly to maintain.

©2012 TheBDB

Rhetoric #1

Some profiles do start off with something like "I am a Queen! Follow my rules...". Some men may find this erotic. I am not one of them. I find it rather offensive and blunt. At times it has some comical value and is hilarious as hell. But in my book that makes you a Queen (wanna)-B. That's not what I am looking for. I need to be seduced into submission. Going through that point of no return during a "power shift" is an important part of that experience.

Monarchies did not start in a vacuum. They do have history. I believe a real D/s relationship has to grow, and creates its own history. The right to rule has to be earned, because it is a huge responsibility. Submission should be only given to Dommes who earned that right. Like in a real monarchy where their subjects dedicate their life and work to honor their Queen or King, a Domme has to lead AND nurture their subs. The French revolution only happened because the royals stopped caring for their people. It is the subs' responsibly to dedicate his/her work, creativity, art to honor their Domme. In return the Dommes lead, direct, correct, and culture their subs.

For the above reasons, and until I commit to submit to someone, I will treat everyone the same and as equal. If someone insist of being called by a certain title, that is fine. But be aware it has no meaning to me at all. So why use that title at all? I will speak my mind and not let dictate your expectation of me what I am going to say. For some this may be offensive, but am not sorry about that. If you feel I am talking down to you, it is not. But should you feel this way, we are no match to begin with.

I know I make a lousy sub. There is no desire to be a slave at all. But at least I am honest. My profile is as accurate as my funky scale at home! LOL

©2012 TheBDB

It seems to me that everyone in New Jersey is a Pro. What's wrong with that state? Mmm, yes, of course. They have Christie! That explains it then. :)

(Clicked on handful of profiles in row, all NJ, all pro! Too funny LOL)

Aloha Friday, yeah! It is 46th anniversary of Star Trek, and check out today's Google Doodle. Am I really older that Star Trek? Time flies...

The Dilemma

Many Dommes here complain about so called "time wasters", dragging out conversations endlessly. Understandingly as a result they demand to get down to busyness quickly. Unfortunately these are the very same arguments used by scammers. Very fast into a conversation you get statements like "Impress me, I do need airfare to Europe for an important meeting! Don't waste my time!!!".

It is a fact, when you hurry, you mess up. The issue is not entirely with men falling for these kind of tricks, some of the Dommes are part of the problem too. There is no need to rush things. Especially when you are in a position to pick and choose.

By the way, I will be very careful and slowly with handing over personal information. On principle no cash, and gifts whatsoever until a certain level of trust is achieved. Besides, the getting to know each other should be fun and enjoyable for both parties. I do have time, I am patient, and I am not desperate. Don't like it? Too bad!

Your future time waster...LOL

©2012 TheBDB

Some additions to an earlier post of mine. I do have noting against Russian women. They are all well educated, smart, and some of them are stunningly beautiful. The strange part is, being redirected from CMe to a mail order brides' site in the first place. I find it rather bizarre to look for a dom/switch on a site which main purpose is to connect vanilla partners. The chances are bigger to find an Amazon on amazon.com, than a kinky women over there. :)

Matters of size

The combined gene pool of my parents provided me with all kind of goodies. For one, slow aging. I look very young for my age. On the other hand, I got a bit short handed in one aspect: I am short. And I am not just talking about my physical height. At least I will not sending you any pictures of my junk, LOL. It is tiny. I know it. Now you know it. :)

Opposites attract

Not so fast! Ever noticed that the shortest woman always ended up with the tallest guy? Have you ever seen the opposite? Peer pressure, and social mental conditioning prevails even in a BDSM world. Many female profiles on CM attest to that.

Anyhow, meeting tall women immediately brings out my submissive side. It is unavoidable. I cannot fight it. I get this mixed bag of feelings, fear, and arousal. A six foot tall women in heels renders me defenseless. Some men are into BBW. For me it is TBW. However, I do value personality over physical height any day!

Yet another rant? Here is my beef with the Pros. I don't like them on principle. But they make a living from what they love. You do have to respect that, and they deserve admiration for what they do!

So, they do have a business and a clientele they maintain. And a lot of them do own house slaves. Taking on a slaves is a huge responsibility. The basis for their business is usually RT. BTW I do not have much respect for online domination. It is just a convenient way for men to cheat on their wives, yikes.

Anyhow back to topic: You do own your business in maintaining a stable of slaves, and serving a clientele. It is the source of your income, maintains prosperity, and most of all keeps you sane. So why that heck have you selected the "willing to relocate" checkbox?

Willing to relocate means to move, and not just the occasional business trip. Are you seriously suggesting to give up all what you have achieved for the right sub? Sorry, I don't have any respect for that. Maybe it is time for getting a "I am a pro" checkbox for people like me...

OK, my profile is far from being complete. Guess it is work in progress. I yet have to work on a current picture, and the interest section is still empty. The mix-up of vanilla and kink there, does not agree with my OCD. :)

For example

• Backing Cookies (Beginner)
• Basket Weaving (Expert)
• Bondage (Beginner)
• Butt Plugs (Average)

is just not a pretty picture, LOL. It is good for one thing only: a painful read. At best it makes a good reading exercise for masochists.

Anyhow, I will be adding my interests, outside of kink, shortly. For anything else, there is still the journal. Not that it would matter anyway, should I find the perfect partner.

So I am new here, and to the lifestyle in general. Still trying to get my way around the site. I may be easily intimidated, impressed, overwhelmed at times, a bit naive, and often my fantasies get the better hold of me.

So, I decided to post my experiences with C-Me and comment on some of what seen so far. I am very sarcastic at times. So my apologies, should I step on someone's toes. My kind of humor does not translate very well on the internet. ;)

 The first thing that stick out at C-Me, are the sheer amount of fake ads. Fake ads for all kind of reasons. I admit, I don't get financial domination at all. But there are tons of these 19 to 23 year old girls, who offer Fin-Dom. Yep, that's it. Nothing more, except for the poorly written one and a half sentences in their profile. Who in the right mind would even fall for these. (Facepalm)

 There are 2nd group of ads that want you to e-mail outside of CollarMe. Really? I am sure going to give someone my email address upon the first contact not even knowing if that person is real. But someone must do that, otherwise these ads would not exists. Guessing men (including myself) are idiots, or at least turn off their brains when it comes to women. LOL

Now the last one of my rant: There was one profile that ask users to sign up outside of C-Me. And where does the link lead to? Yep, a Russian Mailorder Brides' website. I swear that there is an unseen force that wants me to stay vanilla. :)

Note to self: Block any profile that ask to contact outside of C-Me! I admit at first it was hard to look at a pretty picture and click that "Block User" button. Guess like anyone real here, I am going to have to grow a thicker skin...