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Dear Male Sub
(This is not directed at anyone in particular, I'm single at the moment and have no current desire to change that. But texts on the experiences of female dominants are difficult to find, and I'm hoping I might inspire others to share. We can't let male fantasies dominate our dominance :))
I do not want to be your Goddess. I don't want to be your cruel Mistess, the cold bitch that is forever and fully in control of your body and mind. I am not the arrogant Lady that laughs at your hard, pre-cum dripping cock. I do not want to see you turn into a whimpering, submissive little worm. I am not a confident Princess, I am not a merciless dominatrix.
I am a woman.
It's easy submitting yourself to a kink.com pornstar. Of course you jerk off to those mistresses, their sexy outfits and their pretty faces and their bitchy tone of voice, porn is made to present the perfect fantasy and I think kink.com does an excellent job. She's made to be about everything that turns you on and nothing but what turns you on. Any submissive man could give himself to this projection of his most sexy fantasies, this stereotype that is stripped of any of the human qualities that might distract him from his deep devotion and worship. But she's not real.
I am not made to turn you on.
I'm not your fantasy, and this isn't just about you. It's also about me, and I am not a cast-member in a pornmovie. I will not dress up in the outfits you find most appealing, I will not put a frown on my face to enhance your sexy experience. Our interaction will not be all about your submissive desires, all about you. It's about me as well. I'm not saying this to sound dominant, I know the whole "I'm not going to fulfil your every wish, I'm the mistress here!" thing probably turns you on. But that's not what I'm saying. There are two people in this interaction and I need to be seen as a person. I am saying this not to get your dick hard, I am saying this to be heard. I'm not a hard bitch, I am a woman. I cry myself to sleep sometimes. I like to draw little comics of the people I love, and put hearts around them. I'm vulnerable.
It takes a special kind of man to serve a real woman.
Sitting on your face will not satisfy me. I need a man who is not afraid of my sexuality, a submissive that will not put me up on a pedestal and expect me to be content with some foot-rubbing and ass-licking. I need to be fucked. I need my face to be pressed into the mattress, my body to be hot and sweaty and trembling as you fuck me like you want to kill me. It's different for every woman, but my body is made to take a good pounding. Simply fucking me will not suffice. You'll have to appreciate the fact that I need you, I desperately need you. That I crave your taste, your scent, your hot breath as you whisper filthy words into my ear. I'm a dirty girl. I get angry if you don't use me exactly as I want you to, I'll slap your face off if you treat me like a china doll.
I get scared sometimes, you know. I need you to pull me up on your lap, hold me tight and tell me everything will be alright. I get small sometimes, and I need you to be big for me. I'll press my nose into your armpit and cry a little, you cannot be afraid of my vulnerability. I need you to kiss my tears away and I need you to think I'm the cutest thing you've ever seen. When I press my nails into your chest and my knee into your balls, I want you to be strong for me. This big man that can make all the bad things go away, at least for now, because my head is filled with his sounds, the flicker of fear in his eyes, and I get dizzy with the sudden powerrush. I'm an evil little babygirl sometimes, and I need you to be there for me.
I like pleasing you. This is not all about me, I care what you think. You need to respect that I care for you. I like to wear the clothes that turn you on, not just as a tool for my dominance, but also because I like to see you happy. I get insecure sometimes, afraid that maybe you don't like me as much as I like you. I want you to be fulfilled and satisfied in your submissive needs, and sometimes I worry I'm not good enough. Don't think for one moment that I have more power over you than you have over me. You can break my heart. Please, don't hurt me.
Websites on male submission and female dominance often read as a kind of instruction manual on how to best serve your slave. Twenty ways to make his orgasm painful or humiliating, rules you can enforce concerning coffee and tea and how he should greet your female friends when they come over for their weekly Dominant Ladies Tea Party. I'm not here to turn your life into the stereotypical malesub-fantasy, and I don't want to be told what to do. I hurt you, not so you can hand over control and experience my dominance over you, but because I like hurting you. I scare you, not so you can feel the true surrender to a Dominant Woman, but because I like to see the fear in your eyes. When I'm going through my toy bag, I'm not thinking of what will give you the best experience of submission, I'm thinking of what it would do for me. I don't want to be used for your desires. I want to see you on your knees, I want to push my strapon down your throat, I want to tie your down and wrap you up and use you for my pleasure.
I will never be the dominatrix of your fantasy, the mistress you dream of, the porn-star. It scares me a little to be compared to that perfect image, it scares me a little to hear you talk about the type of girl that turns you on because I know I'll never be that thing, that goddess, that one-dimensional, demanding, cruel Mistress.
I'm a woman.
I will not always have perfect control over you. I won't even have control over myself all the time. When you've pushed four fingers up inside of me and your thumb is on my clit and I'm screaming with my 5th orgasm, I need you to take over. I will need you to decide on your own what I want from you. Serve me, don't just obey me. Your strength turns me on, to know that you could snap my spine if you wanted to. I need to feel perfect trust that you will do exactly what I say, when I say it, even though right now you're calling me a dirty whore and you're telling me you're going to fuck my ass and then come on my tongue. I'm going to make you lick my lips clean after I've enjoyed the taste of you in my mouth.
You can be my sweet boy. I want your head in my lap and I want to tell you I'm so proud of you. I'll put a collar around your neck and tell the whole world you're mine. I'll drive people mental talking about you, boasting about you, the way a proud parent won't shut the hell up about their child. You can be small with me, and I will do all those things you dream about.
But I need you to see that I am not just a mistress. I'm a woman.
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Picture is not me, I do not respond to any messeges on collarme. I just created the profile to share this with you.... it's rare to find someone sane with any grip on reality here! This was written by a friend on , how she/I feel about being a domme and what I would be looking for in a partner. Maybe give some of you a better understanding, that we are women first and foremost!
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