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Here only for friendship.
I am a 24/7 Dominant, sadist and Daddy. I am 100% real world. I advocate Owner/object (Owner/property) relationship dynamics and total power exchange relationship dynamics.
I consider sadism a art form and a very effective tool for bonding/intimacy. Pain and pleasure are two similar animals. I'm experienced and knowledgeable. I am mentally aroused by giving pain, impact, blood play, sharps, pressure, restriction, breath play. I am also sexually aroused by things society considers "gross." This includes piss play, ass to mouth, drool, spit, having my ass eaten, degradation, shame, etc.
I am monogamous when in a committed relationship, especially if there is a collar involved. I consider myself very socially inclined, most would call me a extrovert. But I'm actually a introvert who prefers the company of one close person or a small group. I am completely into traditional gender roles within my relationship but socially a major leftist. I appreciate art and paint with pastels myself on rare occasion. I eat very little meat. I enjoy fruit often and on the occasion I do eat meat I prefer quality cuts of rare steak, lamb and salmon. I drink occasionally, when I do I prefer Midleton or Green Spot on the rocks. I have two children whom I raise half the month in a 50/50 custody arrangement. Raising them well and giving them as many experiences of growth is my top priority. I enjoy exploring the mind in both others and myself. According to Meyer Briggs I'm a INFJ, according to the Enneagram I split right down the middle between being a achiever and a challenger and lastly according to the NPA personality theory I am 97% Type A.
I also run a small boutique sex shop on Etsy as a hobby where I sell some of the canes I made and distribute some toys I find interesting. It pays for my addiction to buying new play toys. The shop name is "By The Devils Hand" no spaces in the search bar, if anyone is interested in having a look.
Here is some writing on Domination I wrote some time ago to give a more detailed perspective of what it means to me-
Dominance: rule; control; authority; ascendancy.
A well meant warning on engaging in a total power exchange dynamic with a 24/7 Dominant, Master or Owner type top.
The total power exchange is just that. A complete obliteration of your autonomy. You get to have your feelings and opinions, sure. But you get to be put back on your heels about them and challenged at any time. Your direction and life path can and will change. You will make sacrifices for the simple amusement of another. Dominance is control. To test the limits of that control you will be boxed in. You will feel your Dominant hover over you and contain you mentally and emotionally. You will feel your Dominant tug on your leash and grind you into the ground. You will be made to feel small and secondary because your opinions, your perception of your needs and your wants come second. You may feel the instinct to push and feel as if you are in a maze with walls shooting up around you at every turn you take. But that is just the point. It isn’t your place to move. It’s your place to kneel. It’s your place to follow. It’s your place to submit. That Dominance, that control, does not have a on and off switch. Bondage needs no chains or rope. Bondage starts in the mind. You are a bird in a cage with a unlocked door. You have freedom to move within the cage that your keeper/owner/builder constructed. Your keeper decides if the cage becomes smaller or larger. Pressing against the bars will only effect your soft body but it will never effect the cage. I am a Dominant. Being in a relationship with a person like me is not for everyone. Your one choice is the choice to submit. Once that is done the particulars of your existence are in no way on your terms.
(Disclaimer: A good D/s relationship is a relationship where mutual needs are fulfilled. In a good D/s relationship there is no abuse and there is consent. In a good D/s relationship communication before engaging in and during is key. Lastly, your partner’s option to say they need their collar undone to leave must never be hindered. Given; safewords mean stop, make sure your partner is good and discuss what went wrong.)
Here is some writing on shame as a kink I wrote some time ago to give a more detailed perspective of what it means to me-
Shame.
If I had to boil down my one primary sexual kink it would be soaking in my object’s sexual shame. Realistically no one can boil down to only one kink, people are way to complex to achieve that in a complete way. But!!! If I were to nail one thing down it would be watching my person aroused by their own shame. They- simultaneously aware of their arousal and overcome with self judgement. They- simultaneously calling themselves pathetic in the safety of their own mind and all the while feeling their cunt throb harder. They- viewing their arousal with disgust only to become more aroused by their own self loathing, compounding more and more. That depravity, her desire for the gross/macabre and discomfort with her own nature. That is a beautiful thing.
Shame is a essential part for me. I understand going through life thinking violent and disgusting sexual thoughts constantly. My abstract desires are relentless. As a Dominant though I drink it up, I soak in it, I put on a smile and accept it with a bold happiness. I understand I need the same in depraved thoughts from my person and the complete opposite in bold inner acceptance.
For example I could never connect on all levels with someone who would “sacrifice” their body to my inner sadist. There just isn’t enough shame to play with there. Sure I can expose how needy and broken they may be that they are willing to “sacrifice” their body and mind to me for my affection and attention. But that’s not shame. That’s degradation. Which has it's own special place for me. Shame comes after a down the ladder journey. Shame comes from wishing it away one day to accepting it because you just can’t get it out of your head and you came to terms with the fact its part of you. It comes from a core shyness, the opposite of confident boldness. As a complex sadist I need a masochist who soaked in their shame. One that had moments in their lives where they wished they didn’t throb from physical pain, didn’t squirt with their tongue up their guys asshole so fast or wished they didn’t see piss play as affection. But they do on all accounts. Shame comes with being a submissive and being far along in your journey because that journey breaks and chips little bits of you when this is your nature.
The shame feeds so many parts of me. Her shame, that shame is interwoven with my own needs. I need to grind her into the floor yet do so because it is a mutual need. I need to feel magnanimous while expressing my cruelty. I need to see blood on her skin, bruises on her body and pain on her face. I need to see euphoria and gratitude in her eyes. I need to see her respond to my degradation by pulling closer to me. That feeds my sadist. I need her to feel safe, completely happy and content being herself and moving with me not for what she will get but because it feels right. I need her to know that hiding who she is isn’t necessary with me. Being the safe place for her deepest shame that feeds my Dominant. Letting her know that there is nothing wrong with her that she is just fine as she is. That even at her darkest, most depraved and regretful that she is beautiful in all ways that last bit feeds my Daddy.
Here is some writing on casual day in day out Dominance I wrote some time ago to give a more detailed perspective of what it means to me-
Casual Dominance.
Take her utensils out of her hand in public to cut up her meat while dining in public. Using your fork to take a bite of her food because ultimately you’re the Dominant taker and hers is yours. Feeding her a bite to show her you care and she’s too small to do it on her own. Putting your hands on her shoulder and straightening her posture because you know better and her body is yours to manipulate how you feel. Instruct her to look into your eyes and say “you just wanted to enjoy the moment”. It’s yours to enjoy as is she. Saying “manners” in her ear as you approach friends in a firm low tone perhaps even telling her she always does so good right before you get close to your company, after all she is a little girl and they need guidance and some positive reinforcement. Calling her little girl and telling her you’ll take care of her in public. Reminding her “knees apart when you’re in my car,” it’s tradition and a sign of respect for your Dominant. Easy access for him should always be a priority. If he uses it or not is no concern of yours, only your offering is concern of yours. Cupping her inner upper thigh when you drive feeling the warmth off her cunt. Holding her hand when she’s next to you to keep her at your side and not in front of you. A woman should be walked like a large dog. When she is in front of you hold her lower hip under her shirt, hold her by her belt under her shirt, hold the back of her neck or keeping your hand firmly but casually tightened in her hair to walk her in front of you as opposed to just allowing her in front of you. If she’s positioned before you while walking display her like a proud trophy you’re holding up with a firm hand.
Here is some writing on pain I wrote some time ago to give a more detailed perspective of what it means to me-
Give her pain.
Why?
Because she earned it.
Because she is empty and just needs to feel.
Because of everything she has done to herself. She earned her fucking beating.
Because she knows she’s not good enough. She thinks too much. She’s a fucking dummy. She feels too much. She doesn’t feel enough. She talks too much. She never says anything. She’s too sensitive. She’s fat. She’s skinny. She’s stupid. She thinks she knows it all. She fucked up a good thing. She stayed when she shouldn’t have. She put herself in that position. She never put herself in that position. She’s ugly. She’s just NOT GOOD ENOUGH!! Her insecurities won’t be silent for a minute. Hand her the pain to quiet her.
Because she genuinely tried her best and it still wasn’t good enough, she failed. She disappointed you. She could feel it on you. Wipe that feeling of guilt away.
Because the physical pain will take away the mental and emotional angst that she already feels all the time.
Safe travels all.
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