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Hetero Male Master, 59,  Philly Burbs, Pennsylvania
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Okay, you can pretty much ignore anything below the line if you wish. It's all nice and pretty and you might find it interesting if what you seek is a LTR. (and I'm reluctant to just toss it out) But, for now I feel a strong urge to get to the heart of the matter and say what I really want as soon as possible.
I am seeking a rope bottom for regular rope practice. I have a lot of experience with rope but I feel like I'm falling behind the curve.
Age, experience or size are not important. My only real requirement is a reasonable amount of flexibility and endurance. I can work with some physical limitations--practically everyone has something. If you are wondering about that, ask.

I will respect whatever boundaries you want to set.
Serious inquiries only please.

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Devo toccare una donna a vivere.
It is very difficult not to become cynical about all this. But here we both are.

This is where I'm supposed to convince you that I am different from all the poseurs and predators on this site. Truly, there is no way to do that with mere words. Anyone can string words together in any order. All that clever words can prove is that I am clever with words.
I'm looking for a real life day to day D/s relationship with a fully realized human being who happens to be a woman.

Exactly what kind of relationship is undefined because it will depend in large part on her needs--except that there will be rope, and spanking, and power exchange, and all sorts of other wicked, kinky fun. I was a Daddy for a while--still am as we keep in touch--and it seemed to suit me. But I have been feeling more... I don't know. Harder? Harsher? More sadistic of late.

I'm not looking for an online relationship.
I am strongly attracted to overtly sexual women, those who feel the need to transgress societal boundaries, exhibitionists and those who may or may not self-identify as a "slut" but feel urges in that direction.
But, if you don't have your partner's consent, if finding out what you are doing will harm your relationship, then I can't be a party to that. On the other hand, if this will somehow enhance and stabilize your life with and your love for them, I too will be gratified and empowered.

I accept that people aren't perfect but I am not so desperate that I would get involved with someone who I don't actually like just to have someone.

Some things about me:

I retired from a successful career because I wanted to be free to live my life as I wish. I live simply but well. I am quite active in the local community and have many friends. I am constantly learning new things and experimenting with new techniques. If that doesn't scare you, it should.

I write dirty stories. Very dirty stories. I do it for money. I do it because I love it.

I make toys. Very good ones. People give me money for them. And because I love it.

I tie people up--usually women, but not always--because I love it.

I spank and flog and cane because (you guessed it) I love it.

I have other, vanilla, interests as well. I also have many friends in and out of the lifestyle. I sometimes love to cook.

The photo of me is probably the most honest that I can post. It looks so vanilla but what you are seeing is me about to tie someone up and suspend them from the gingerbread of a gazebo in a public park somewhere in New Jersey.

I run a group on a meetup sight to help lost kinksters find their way into the community. Look for "Philly Area Kinky Outreach." I am on the network with the black background(starts with "Fet" and ends with "Life")under the same user name. There are lots of pictures there...
Don't be fooled. I am an old school gentleman and a gentle, soft spoken man who will gladly drag you across the room by your hair with a twinkle in his eye.











Last Online:


 Dominant Male

 Philly Burbs 


 5' 8"

 215 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

 Lives For:

 Bondage (Expert)

 Local BDSM Community


 Writing (Expert)


 Travel (Expert)


 Breast Play

 Fire Play (Beginner)

 Massage (Getting) (Beginner)

 Massage (Giving) (Beginner)


 Sensory Deprivation (Beginner)

 Spanking (Expert)

 Card Games (Beginner)

 Historical Shows (Expert)

 Science Fiction (Expert)

 Simulation Games


 History (Expert)

 Rock Music


 Amusement Parks

 Art Galleries (Beginner)

 Beachcombing (Beginner)

 Coffee Shops  (Beginner)

 Fine Dining (Beginner)

 Flea Markets (Beginner)

 Garage Sales (Beginner)



 Volunteerism (Beginner)


 Dancing (Beginner)


 Anal Play

 Canes and Crops (Expert)

 Collars (Beginner)

 Corner Time

 Exhibitionism (Beginner)

 Gags (Beginner)

 Hair Pulling


 Mental Bondage (Beginner)

 Outdoor Bondage (Beginner)

 Public Play  (Beginner)

 Role Playing (Beginner)

 Suspension (Beginner)

 Tickling (Beginner)

 Vibrators (Beginner)

 Whips (Beginner)

 Board Games


 Comedy Shows

 Online Chatrooms

 Puzzle Games (Beginner)

 Role Playing Games

 True Crime

 Web Surfing (Expert)

 Body Art

 Drawing (Beginner)




 Conservative Politics (Expert)


 Intellectual Discourse

 Libertarian Politics  (Beginner)


 Poetry (Beginner)

 Blue Grass


 Classical Music

 Eighties Music

 Nineties Music

 Pop Music

 Seventies Music



 Bowling (Beginner)

 Swimming (Beginner)


 Antique Shows (Beginner)

 Bar Hopping (Beginner)

 Musical Theater


 Aerobics (Beginner)





 Masks (On Partner) (Beginner)

 Horror Movies


 Online RPGs

 Romance Novels


 TV Sports


 Biology (Beginner)


 Chemistry (Beginner)

 Liberal Politics

 Mathematics (Beginner)

 Nutrition (Beginner)

 Physics (Beginner)


 Diet and Exercise

 Lifestyle BDSM

 Low Carb

 Old Guard


 Victorian Household

 Country Music

 EMO Music

 Folk Music


 Heavy Metal Music


 New Age Music



 Punk Rock Music



 Show Tunes












 Curious About:

 Bird Watching (Beginner)

 Renaissance Faires (Beginner)

 SCA (Beginner)

 Horseback Riding


 Tai-Chi (Beginner)

 Genital Punishment

 Fisting (Beginner)

 Knife Play

 Plastic Wrap

 Speech Restrictions


 Theatrical Scenes

 Wax play







 Going to the Opera




 Body Worship







 Eye Contact Restrictions

 Foot Worship

 Housework Service

 Medical Play

 Obedience Training

 Pantyhose Fetish

 Pony/Puppy Roleplay


 Rubber Fetish




 TV News




 Political Activism


 Female Supremacy

 Gorean Lifestyle

 Goth Lifestyle



 Electronica / EDM

 Hip Hop Music

 Industrial Music

 New Wave

 Opera Music


 Feng Shui





 Objectification (Beginner)

 Hard Limits:

 Needle Play

 Serving as a Butler

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Journal Entries:
8/19/2016 2:25:32 PM
So, crazy old fool that I am, I decided to do something to help people who feel like they are out in the cold with their kink.  People who's only experience of "community," if any, are meat market sites. 

So, I took over a Meetup(dot)com group called "Philly Area Kinky Outreach," with the intent of helping "lost" kinksters find their way into the community.  I'm going to be setting up small meetings between active community members and those who desperately want to talk to someone about their kink. 

The ideal venue will be a diner or coffee shop and the ideal group size will be six or less.  I already have quite a few volunteers of every sort lined up to help.

If this interests you, it's relatively easy to search for the website and the group.  Or you can find my Facebook author page (Ted Ursi) and click on the link there.  Or just message me.

2/3/2016 1:34:57 AM
To add some perspective to all this I did an all ages search of first men then women sorted by date signed on. The average age of the latest 25 new profiles for men in my area was 41.52 years and the oldest of those 25 profiles was 6 days old. For women the average age of the latest 25 new profiles was 34.2 years and the oldest of those 25 profiles was eleven days old. So men are signing on almost twice as fast as women and are on average 7 years or better older. This makes no judgement of the authenticity of the profiles themselves. I'm aware that 25 is not a very rigorous number for statistical analysis but it was convenient to the way Colloarspace's search list is laid out.

8/13/2015 6:22:36 AM
So I walk into a munch the other night and there is my former baby girl standing there.  I stop dead.  My fingers make that tiny come hither thing and we hug.  I put my ball cap on her head--because she will steal it at the first opportunity anyways--and we fall into our dynamic like lovers into a bed.  She's playing with my phone, fucking up one of my sudoku puzzles, stealing cherry tomatoes from my salad.  I feed her olives and she tries to bite my fingers.  I am too indulgent, I only swat her backside when she has to leave and won't give back my hat.  Soon she will be off again to her new home far away.  Life is too bitter sweet sometimes.

7/8/2015 10:06:43 AM
I really really want to tie a tikate kote to someone to this music:

4/24/2015 8:42:22 AM
The world is full of wonderful people I'm sure I would enjoy knowing.  But that knowing can be a barrier to to reaching those places our desires want to go.  I sometimes think the two drunks who leave together at closing time are wiser than we know.  In the morning they will know they can fuck like animals before they know the good and bad of each other.  What if we mindful folk get to know each other so well that we can't put it aside to fuck like beasts?   

4/22/2015 7:42:17 AM
So my latest fantasy is to tie a woman atop my sturdy kitchen table and, with the lights dimmed, the soft smelling candles lit, and the throbbing music playing, work over her body with my bare hands bringing alternating pain and pleasure until she collapses into that space where nothing is left of the world but herself.

7/30/2014 3:55:02 PM
Well I figured the owner would just get a new domain name eventually.  So here I am.  But do I really want to be here?

5/19/2014 6:25:17 AM

"He will be this and he won't be that..."  Odd way to search for a dominant.  Try fishing for salmon in a maple tree.  Or hunting pheasant in the mill pond. 

5/16/2014 8:22:28 AM

"Playing the field."  Except that I am not playing.  I don't know where or how I will come to the next companion in my life, only that I need to look.  But I don't want to be cynical about it, sneaky or sleazy.  There are moral issues here.  The moral issues of finding a nice woman who wants to be tied up and molested.  Ironic, no?

5/16/2014 6:57:38 AM

I suppose I don't need it but I want it. I want to feel the power of my hands on a woman's body. Not remotely at the end of some flailing toy but right there. Right there. I want to feel the skin shiver, the flesh quake. I want to move her. Push her. Lever her into places she must resist going but then will find she wanted to be there all along. And when she is there I want to hold her, let her rest for a time bound up in my arms and my rope, having no cares and feeling only comfort and joy. Is this so much? Is this even possible? I don't know. But I want it. So bad I want it. So bad.

5/12/2014 6:23:43 AM

I apologize. This is a 1 AM rambling so it's long and not my best. Haven't been my best of late. But here goes...

This site is a mass medium. The vast majority of people here are likely passive witnesses to a much smaller number among us living very exciting and fun lives. A natural outgrowth of that, the same as with the rest wider mass media world, is a whole shit pot load of envy.

There's a song by 3 Doors Down called "Be Like That." (Here's a video link if you are not familiar

) It's not just the lyrics, but the whole arrangement that says what I am trying to say here. Do not envy, there are plenty who envy you.

Some times this site wears me out. I see beautiful bodies doing extremely erotic things. And it's fun to see. And I learn from it. Do you?

But in the cold blue monitor light at 1 AM you know that will never be you. And it hurts. Or when you are at a play event that's winding down and nothing has happened for you so you are still standing alone in a corner and watching, just watching. With all those floggers twirling and all that beautiful flesh straining. You so want to be that, don't you? Why can't you be like that?

I know. I've been there. In many ways I'm still there. I am alone again. I don't get the opportunities to play I want. So many of my rope visions never find expression on real skin. People around me are not themselves alone and get to play far more often. It's hard. It hurts. It hurts. It's a constant fight not to let it overwhelm me.

But the second half of the song is also true. There are people out there with nothing. Literally nothing. They envy me. They envy you. We are not at the bottom of it all.

I have skills people admire. I make people laugh. I make things they like, from a funny little knots to gorgeous floggers. I have ideas! I can write! Women become aroused just by reading my words. I can turn a Kindle into a sex toy! And I can cook. My muddy buddies are highly regarded in some quarters. My weight is going down and my body is firmer than it was. There are so many who wish they could say that. People know me. When they hear my user name at some event they say "Yeah, I heard of you!"

Now stop right there. Don't envy me. I have things you wish for but you have things I wish for. Trust me, you do. For most of my life I was a four time loser working on five. Bottom line I am going to end my days childless. So don't envy me.

But the point of it is that neither of us need to go there. Okay?

List some good things about yourself. List one good thing. Take joy in it. It's okay to brag about yourself a little--just a little.

But also brag about others you know. So and so is a great rigger and, do you know he's also a world ranked chess player? So and so can take a pounding as a bottom, so much so I call her the Iron Lady. Did you know she taught scuba diving and was a blacksmith? And then there's the fine lady with fourteen books, count them! fourteen! How cool is that?

Do you know how good it feels to say something positive about someone else? Try it! If you do that it automatically gives you another good thing about yourself. Funny how that works, huh?

Yeah all those bad things are still out there. They are not going away. But when we can't avoid them, do not be afraid to seek comfort in others or to give it where needed. The really good thing about this site is that it is such a hug happy place. Ain't that so?

(Hm... Comfort and Joy, where have I heard that before?)


The birds are singing. I am hungry. I'm going to make breakfast. Did I mention I am pretty good at bacon? It would be a joy to make some for you.

In the epilogue of my (hopefully!) upcoming novel A Stitch In Time one of my characters say s to another. "Do not live in the house of envy, come with me to the house of joy."

Walk away from the envy and towards the Joy. It's not far.

Take care


5/7/2014 8:35:42 PM

All relationships end in pain.  Oh boy, do they ever.  I just had an ending forced upon me.  I am struggling with myself not to become cynical about it all, not to hate.  Well no, I am lying.  I can never hate her.  She is still the person I grew to love.  I am angry with her but I do not hate her.  What else is there to say? 

2/13/2014 3:27:30 PM

There was a challenge on another site for guys to upload shirtless photos of themselves.  So what the hell, in there, in here.  

2/12/2014 8:40:56 AM

Last night I had a wonderful reminder why I love rope.   I tied a lady in a simple tie and felt her body respond under my hands.  In impact play you have an implement in your hands, you use it and the sub feels whatever they do.  With rope you are connected, your hands are right there.  You know. 


2/11/2014 8:23:34 AM

Oh well.  I sent an email to a nice seeming lady.  Very respectful.  I said I would send a photo.  I made a lame joke about closing one eye to prevent total blindness.  It was a nice photo of me standing in t-shirt and shorts in the middle of my living room next to my orchid.  She deleted the email unread.  So it goes. 

2/11/2014 6:55:35 AM

For a time, just a little time, I want to take someone away from the ordinary world.  I want to give something they never had but will come to need.  I want to be their drug. 

2/10/2014 5:55:49 PM

It's been a crappy day even though I can tout up some accomplishments.  Tiny ones.  I think my retirement is hitting home.  I am entering the last stage of my life and I have trouble not looking backwards.  It takes an effort of will not to dwell.  Sucks.  What else can I say?  Oh yeah... fighting that down feeling I've been making lame efforts at humor.  Sorry to everyone who had to bear it.  Take care.

2/10/2014 7:50:32 AM

So many yet so few.  So much hunger.  I can nourish one but none that I see here.  At every turn there is something not right in the words I see.  What weight do I put on this verbiage?  Are the words cast here from feminine fingers sincere?  Naive?  Or are they mere deceit?  Likely all of those and more.  But under all that is still the hunger.  It calls me.  What do I do?



2/9/2014 3:38:06 PM

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.  That way you get a good head start and they have to chase you barefoot.

2/9/2014 6:43:43 AM

All over people are waking up alone in bed wishing it were not so.  They start their mornings in their privates space wishing it were not so private, just going through their motions like automatons.  It's not about the sex, it's not about the power, it's not about success or failure in life.  It's about looking over at the sofa to see someone there still in their nightwear relaxing with a mug of something warm, their hair in dishabille, and take comfort in their silent companionship. 

2/9/2014 6:37:08 AM

Slowly Sunday

I awake

stir alone

in bed

again alone

thinking darkly

wishing better

2/5/2014 4:43:47 AM

When I wrap you
in these simple coils,
these cheap hardware store coils,
and I pull them tight about you
so that they embrace you
and I when pull again, tighter still,
so that you make that lovely sound
between a grunt
and a groan
and a gasp,
it's not about art
not any art ancient or new.
No words...
no words at all...
no words, familiar or exotic,
can describe what this is all about.

Because in this moment
it's not about anything external to you or I

not anything else in the world
and it's not even about me
it's about you.

only you.

2/4/2014 8:56:06 AM

I'm pretty sure I'm going to catch hell for this.   :-)


   A top would say "I haven't bothered to learn any fancy knots, it's too hard!  And I don't need them anyway."  (reasoning/forebrain/about himself)
   A dom would say "I prefer the simple and elegant means to tie your big toes together."  (evocative/deeper into the brain/about the other person)


2/4/2014 7:25:12 AM

While I'm at it, I suppose I should explain the photos I post. 


The orchid is going to be the cover of my short story anthology when i self publish it.  The plant itself lives in my apartment.  It was a gift from friends at my retirement party.  I took the picture one day when I was talking on the phone and found myself staring at it.  The person I was talking to asked suddenly "is something wrong?"  I excused myself and I set up a background with black satin and went to work with the larger of my two cameras. 


The apartment shot is intended as evidence that I have it together.  I used to be very depressed and noted that a messy apartment is both a symptom and a cause of deeper depression.  So i hired someone to help me clean it up and come back regularly. Funny thing is now I do most of the cleaning before she gets here every Sunday.  :-)  Having other human beings come to your space is good for you.


The revolutionary teddy bear was put up as a place holder.  Painting toy soldiers is an old hobby I don't do much anymore.  Now I put my hands to making toys.  :-)

2/4/2014 7:13:43 AM

People can subscribe to your journal?  That's dangerous!  I am a writer.  The thought that I can get gratification by posting on my journal frightens me.  It's why I don't have a blog.  Oh well.  I'll try not to disappoint too much....

2/3/2014 9:41:14 AM

Love is very strange.  It's magic.  Like the loaves and fishes, it spreads to fill entirely where needed.  I love a woman who loves greatly all those about her. It does not matter who you are, male, female, gay, straight, confused--she gives what she can to them all.  Mortal that she is she has her limits.


I cannot comprehend the pain and joy that this must bring her.  Like the eclipse of the sun I can only watch it in reflection. I can only hope I am a pale reflection.  Can I love like she does, bring to those who need what they need when they need it?  Well I can try.  I can only try.

2/3/2014 9:25:02 AM


The Quality of Mercy

The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The throned monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty,
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings.
But mercy is above this sceptered sway;
It is enthroned in the hearts of kings;
It is an attribute of God himself;
And earthly power doth then show like God's
When mercy seasons justice.

William Shakespeare





2/2/2014 5:55:58 AM

I am remiss.  I excised too many details from my profile.  It has caused some problems.  I will have think about this....

1/31/2014 12:04:25 PM

I certainly hope these new photos aren't Overly genital focused primary photos" :-)

1/30/2014 7:43:40 AM

Completely rewrote my profile.  I'm so tired of the online dating bullshit "Hi my name is Ted, I like this and can't stand that?  Please do this and don't you dare do that."     

   Fuck that shit... 

   In the ass....

   With a flaming pineapple.

Do I reach you?  Do I understand what you are doing, and why? 

Maybe I do... Maybe that's what really matters. 

Can I take you were you want to go, even if you don't know yourself where that is yet?  I'm the guy who's going to try damned hard to do just that.

All the rest is details.

1/25/2014 6:25:25 AM

My first act as a free soul is to throw a party!  I am making chili for all my local friends.  This is going to be fun!

1/24/2014 7:55:12 PM

I am now a man of leisure.  My pension and investments will allow me to live at the same level as I had with only a few changes.  I can now write full time, travel as I please and devote myself to my lifestyle pursuits.

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