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Well, um. This is pretty new for me, I've dipped and dabbed in the scene here and there ever since I was 18, but I haven't had any real true exposure into the lifestyle because I'm not yet 21 and a lot of the clubs around here won't let me in, lol.
I suppose I'm ready to test the waters, so to speak. To be honest, I'm very much in love with the BDSM lifestyle, but I just don't know how to go about it. I'm a complete virgin over matters such as this.. and it would be nice to find someone or someones who wouldn't mind showing me the ropes ( no pun intended! ). My best friend is a domme and I've always hung out with her and her submissive lover, but said lover is currently out of the country and I don't get to observe them together any longer.
So! I guess I'll talk about more personal things that probably turn me bright red with embarrassment once I read it over! :D
My biggest kink of all is voyuerism. I looooove to watch. I don't know *where* I got that from, but I'd rather sit and watch people together than actively participate. To be honest, I'm not all that big on participating in anything sexual, and so, I'm still kinda sorta a virgin. And I say kinda sorta because the closest sexual encounter that I ever had involved a lot of frotting with clothing on. Does that count? I dunno. But I've never had any actual sort of penetration happen, nor participated in oral sex. I don't even masterbate. That is to say it's not like I've never done it, but I tend to get bored within the first three minutes. My poor Pocket Rockets. Barely used and collecting dust under my bed! ...Oh, wow, there I go, rambling. Sorry. I tend to talk a lot IRL as well. LOL!
I also like wearing corsets ( the REAL ones, like with the titanium or actual whale boning, not those little craptastic ones in.. in.. Hot Topic or something ) and bodices, but I haven't gotten a chance to wear a cincher, but I'm sure I'd like it. I already have something of a small waist for a young lady of my build ( 24in ), but it's fun to make it even tinier! My actual, honest to god measurements are 34D-24-34. My mother tells me time and time again that I am BLESSED to have such a figure! Although, hee hee, I'm afraid I might need to do a few sit-ups soon- sitting in front of a computer all day long eating chocolate pudding isn't very detrimental to keeping my tummy flat..
Let's see.. um. Well, I'm generally rather silly and I like to have fun in everything that I do. I'm somewhat hyper, but it's not *too* annoying. I guess I haven't grown up yet, but I don't feel like doing that anytime soon. :P My friends normally correct me like I'm some sort of puppy, but it's cool. That usually leads to pettings, and I like being petted! ( and for a major edit, I'm totally looking for someone willing to teach me how to fully harness my puppy-ness! )
However, sometimes I have an even more... well. Bitchier side. While I'm still the same person, I'm more likely to come at someone with a cynical and dry remark that's heavy on sarcasm.. and sometimes I just sling some downright insults. I dunno why, but I get a rather sadistic glee out of talking down to someone and simply watch them shrink further and further into a corner, or just stay stonily silent with nothing to say. *cough.*
Anyhoo, I think I rambled on and on enough for now. I'd love to make some friends and see what sort of mischief we could get ourselves into! :D
AND FINALLY, I AM FREE FROM SCHOOL~ And the Metro is so easily accessable now...
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Finally, an update from me.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have been freed from the chains of the Art Institute and now I am gearing up to enter the US Air Force.
It's been many, MANY months since I've last updated, heck, it's been months since I've last VISITED this site. As I had said before, I spent all my time in school and hadn't any time to contribute towards the community.
However, that is about to change very, very soon.
Right now, I'm working on paying back my school bills- because it took me X amount of student loans to realize that, well. School's not for me! Too much freedom, not enough structure, and I've come to realize that the submissive side of me that I've ignored all this time grew a pair and kicked me in the ass- she wants OUT to play.
And when I mean OUT, I mean OUT- I think I'm a puppy, deep inside. :[ Not that there's anything wrong with that, but, ye gads, I keep thinking of how much *fun* it would be. I'd probably enjoy myself a lot more than any other type of subbing.
My 21st birthday is coming up Wednesday- and I think I'll treat myself to a little bit of leash and collar. After work, I think I'll have a look-see around and see if I can find myself someone willing to teach this pup some new tricks.
Going over these words, I've come to realize that I sound a lot more jaded than I should. Rest assured, I'm STILL hyper and happy and blah blah blah, but I figured a serious tone of voice would be more benefictiary ( ack, dictionary time ). But, naw, I'm a bit disappointed that I couldn't stay in college, but I'm just not meant for it.
In any case, I've plenty of free time as I intend on paying bills off before being allowed to be sent off to Basic Training. I wonder if there is anyone willing to take on a temp until I'm ready to go?
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Oh, wow, I can't believe it's been this long since I've posted in this journal! Well then, I suppose the people who are watching me are more than happy to see an update!
Well, I talked to my best friend ( she's a Domme ) and we are planning on attending BlackroseCon! I'm very excited, as this is the one con I am more than estatic to attend this year, and I've already saved up the money for registration and whatnot! We're also thinking of registering with Blackrose and stuff and start becoming much more active in the community. She's luckier than I am, though, cause she just turned 21 and can attend all of the clubs and events, but I'm still pretty limited. One of the very nice Doms on here told me that I can get into the Crucible, so I plan on ( hopefully ) saving up some money, find my gear, and check out the scene. I wonder if he wouldn't mind coming with us? I'll ask when I'm SURE that we will be going soon.
School has been kicking my butt lately and I've been in a sort of depressed funk, which isn't very good. It means that all I did was sit around and play video games and forgone the basics of living, a.k.a cleaning up. >_<;; When I realized how filthy my side of the room had gotten and that I wasn't really smelling like a bouquet of roses myself, I cracked the whip on myself and set forth to cleaning up! My roommate, C., was very kind to speak to me gently about my status, and I really liked that- she wasn't bitchy or arrogant or rude like my other roommate, H.. When C. asked nicely, I immediately complied.
I have issues with H., mostly because she has anger problems and does not know how to talk to people properly. Plus, she is younger than by two years and thinks she can boss me around, and then go off on a tangent on how she's allowed to, because she's also an adult. I'm like, ha ha, guess what? I've been on this earth longer than you have, I've been raised in a *proper* home, and I'm sure as hell am smarter than you, so you WILL give me the respect that's due. She's a whole foot taller than me and tries to intimidate me with her size, but let me tell you something, I DON'T play that. She can be as snarky as she wants, but she sure as hell isn't going to boss me around. She doesn't have the right, and she hasn't EARNED my respect first. Until she does that, I will talk down to her like the worthless bitch she is. Sadly enough, she misses half of my wonderfully sarcastic and degrading remarks, mostly because she can't pick up on the subtleness of my snark. Pfft. Newb.
My room is now almost entirely spotless and C. has praised me since I set forth to clean up, saying how she liked how I moved my bed to clean up from under it and that it was a very smart move. I thought so meself :P. I felt like I was four, but, sadly, that's the only way one can get me to do chores, and that's to baby talk at me, LOL. I know I sure as heck felt like a happy puppy when she praised me. I'm easy to please. :D
Anyhoo, I've rambled on long enough! I think what I want to do next is possibly get some more pics up, maybe a few in my outfits. I might need some feedback on what I should wear when I first go out!
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Well, I started on replying to my emails- but then I got distracted by a new game and some homework. :D Whoops! What I mostly ended up doing was simply deleting some of the more.. er, 'Hellbent on collaring' me messages, as I think I made it clear that I was not avaliable for that yet. But all of the other messages, the ones that offered friendship were kept and I added the people who wrote the best ones to my favorites list. I think I most definately found at least three people who seem very genuine and honest!
Since I have only one class tommorrow, I'll try to do my best to stay focused and finish my replies. I'm just glad I cut out two pages of messages that I wasn't too savvy on! That leaves me with.... a whole page and a half left. *groans.* Maybe I should have left out the corset picture... LOL!
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Oh my hats and stars, when I woke up this morning, I was *not* expecting to have 38 new messages from the website. LOL! Wow. And I do mean WOW, because it has only been... 8 hours or so since I created my profile here? It's amazing and the biggest boost to my self-esteem that I had ever experienced in my entire life. I thank each and everyone of you who responded to my profile, but I am sad to say that a huge majority of the people who replied apparently didn't read my profile all too thoroughly. About 2/3 of the emails I received were people interested in making me their little house pet, which is a cute enough idea, but...
While I AM interested in living the lifestyle, I'm not ready for it, and so, I mainly made this profile to make friends who would point me in the right direction until I've finished my real world education. Only until then will I be able to completely immerse myself and give myself up to instruction by others, for I fear I haven't the attention span to do both. At the moment, my education is the most important thing in my life, because what I am going to do if I *DID* go to live with a Mistress or Master and they decide I'm not worthy? Then I am on the streets, struggling to survive until I find another Master or Mistress and that doesn't sound very appealing to me.
I have abandonment issues, and that is a small part as to why I wish to be in something that I know I'll never be alone and don't have to worry about being abandoned without reason, whether I'm owning a pet or being one.
Anyhoo, enough with the depressed stuff! After my classes today, I'll spend some time answering the emails of the people who took the time to read my profile correctly, and I'll most likely have to make up a generic turn-down message to those who haven't, as creating personal ones would take FOREVER. :P
But I still thank each and everyone of you!! It's so nice to see how many handsome men and women and lovely couples that are interested in molding a young lady's mind. I feel that I've made the right decision by starting here.
~Tawhny
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| Age: 23 |
| Cincinnati,
Ohio |
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