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For a long time I have been confused about how to reconcile what I feel I need in a relationship with the kind of men and relationships I have had to this point. This is not to say that I haven’t known good men and that they were not good to me (some yes some no as with all things) but they were not Taken in Hand men. I couldn’t name it but it was there, always the desire that the man in the relationship would lead and open the door to the kind of trust and communication that would allow me to comfortably follow. And also to recognize when I was being petulant or bratty (which I know I can be) and having enough invested in what we shared to “call me” on that behavior and provide correction. I thought that the kind of traditional male-led relationship I fantasized about was just that—the stuff of fantasy. Then I was confused and thought it was D/s that I was looking for—it is NOT: I found that men who ascribed to that lifestyle (at least those I met) weren't approaching control within the context of a loving and mutually fulfilling place. : Given the synchronicity I felt reading this I went back into my journal to find something I wrote out many many months ago; a deion of the type of relationship I imagined as ideal and the mate who I imagined in that realtionship with me. I pondered what I really wanted in a man—I thought if I was clearer about my own feelings it could translate into being more aware of what I was truly looking for in my life’s partner and this is what I came up with.... I am looking for that missing piece the man I can be completely and totally myself with and can belong to on a level far beyond that I have experienced. A relationship that also real time shared getting to know and enjoy each other on every level. I guess I want a soul mate who can give a good spanking.. The man I search for will posses an innate maleness/dominant nature and be at ease with that part of himself—exuding this presence with confidence and comfort he doesn't need to prove his power by resorting to humiliation and fear to establish a relationship based on loving obedience. He also knows what and who he is and what and who he is looking for and is wise enough to choose a woman that has the ability to meet his needs, desires and to grow with him. He does not settle or stop exploring himself or me and is always looking at ways to deepen and test the limits and bond of the relationship to find deeper pleasure and intimacy. He is experienced in relationships and in life in general, intelligent, self aware, intuitive, honest, able to communicate the simple to the complex clearly and articulately. He is aware of every element of my full self and listens and observes all things as is his right. He is well rounded and real—with life, family, and interests on a wide variety of topics and encourages me the same fullness of living to make me the best I can be for both him and myself. He wants a woman who is able to share completely and is not afraid of her vulnerability, desire or intelligence. He is secure within himself and confident in his role as her protector, leader, teacher, lover, and with her acknowledgement of his superiority and ownership of her. This is not a game or power trip for him—not a causal recreational lifestyle choice. He is clear a about his dominant nature and the pleasure and completeness of functioning in that role for me as a woman. He never seeks to humiliate me only to firmly and lovingly punish to encourage me to be true to him and myself. In this honest exchange he shows me always that my nature and desires are appreciated and respected within our union and uses his experience and wisdom to unlock the deeper needs and wants I am not always aware exist. He is demonstrative physically, verbally and emotionally and he takes my needs, hopes, fears seriously as we grow closer and more intimate. He respects me and makes that respect clear to me in word and deed even when punishing. He challenges and tests boundaries with an assertive and forceful hand but always takes into consideration where I need comfort and reassurance—and he provides this without hesitation. He praises my willingness to try, to give, to love him without reservation and in doing so he unlocks layer upon layer of love and desire I want to give. He knows that physical sex is not the only element of exploration—he wants to claim me on all levels.. He is REAL and wants to develop a connection and intimacy sex . He is patient and consistent in how gets to know me and introduces new experiences. He LISTENS. I feel I am giving to him and learning to accept from him without self judgment and he encourages me to look to him for approval and honest sharing about how I am progressing. But ultimately he will be the right man for me for the elusive and complex reasons any woman falls truly in love—he is that "fit" that piece of the puzzle that innately makes sense and feels right from the first instant. All the feelings, thoughts, desires combine with that indefinable feeling of melting, craving, peace, wholeness that exists just from looking into his eyes, feeling his touch, hearing his voice or laugh. Breathing is easier, sunshine and stars are brighter and the unknown is an exciting adventure when it means being held close to him.

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synfulslut
 
 Age: 29
 New york, New York