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| Not exactly new to the lifestyle, but new to finding the right someone. It seems all I'm ever "fortunate" enough to meet are people who seem like a good fit, but then they turn out to be liars and not even a glimmer of who they portray themselves to be. It's so disheartening.
I have such a desire to submit to someone. It's a part of me that I can't really keep hidden anymore. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, it's just not possible. I don't feel like I can be "whole" or who I'm suposed to be unless I'm exploring and being trained in the best way to express my servitude. The problem is I can't just submit to "anyone". They have to posess the right attitude and charisma and most people I meet don't. They're just gross pervy dudes who think because I'm submissive I should bend over or get on my knees for them. No one seems to understand what a gift it is to have someone so completely devoted to them, and that it's something that has to be earned.
As a person I'm polyamorous by nature, never one who could adapt to the social norms of monogamy. That doesn't mean I flit about from man to man in a skanky kind of way, I'm able to explore loving people in a way most people aren't able to (ethically and openly and respectfully--YES THAT MEANS AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP). I'm in a committed LTR relationship that is very vanilla. We've tried in the past to create a power exchange but it doesn't work well, so I'm off on my own on this big adventure and I'm leaving no stone unturned. Unfortunately it's lead to me getting stomped on, my heart yanked this way and that and I've developed a terrible distrust in people. Is there no one out there who IS who they say they are??
Despite my non-traditional ways, I'm a very nice, sweet, and wholesome girl. I'm college educated, very NORMAL, funny, classy in a lady-like way, honest, communicative. God I CANT express how important communication is to me. I'm looking for a very intense, honest, cerebral connection with someone in all aspects of a friend, lover, and master.
Please note: I'm not interested in long distance relationships or cyber connections. I need this in the flesh.
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