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I am an architect, and a bit nerdy...but I think I wear it well. I still believe in chivalry...and I do not believe it contradicts this lifestyle. I typically lead a fairy white collar, professional lifestyle - I am (somewhat) new to the scene; I think the dichotomy between my personal and private life is driving me to explore the lifestyle a little further. I also enjoy good food and drink - I consider myself to be a pretty good cook - it is a shame what passes as food today. I am not so much into the sado/masochist scene, as I believe the term is used far too generously and without proper understanding - in my opinion, people who are truly into that scene are borderline sociopathic misogynists - dehumanization is "not cool." Instead, I am more attracted to to a notion of "submission" in which the person gives themselves - willingly and completely - to their partner; It is something that should evolve slowly and naturally so that absolute trust can be achieved - the point in which our hyper-rational mind decides to quit, and pure animalistic sensory emotion takes over. Despite the stigmas of this lifestyle, it doesn't amount to much or achieve any meaningful bond unless the partner knows they are completely safe, and that they can go to the absolute limits without stepping over that line without intension. I suppose I see myself in something of a patron-like role: both authoritarian and protector. But that is not to say that I do enjoy a bit of kink - I particularly enjoy raw, carnal sessions - again, I think it is some sort of action/reaction to my professional life.