As I browse profiles, I see it all.  The level of stupidity, illiteracy and cluelessness can be astonishing.  Once in a while though, I find one that is just off the charts.  If there were a professional clueless league, these profiles would make their writers shoe-ins for the clueless hall of fame.  Since CM's rules prohibit mentioning the names, I shall not do so.  If you really want to see today's entry, you can search on 29 year old female slaves from SC.  You won't have any problem figuring out which one it is.

Later...same day...

I just ran across a female "slave" profile which stated that she is collared to a chat room.  Take me Lord.  I'm ready.  Perhaps I could be reincarnated on a planet with intelligent life?

I just posted this on one of my local bdsm boards.  I'm posting it here as well, because I might need to reread it occasionally, when I forget who I am.
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Why I am still single- a long rant

This is a rant, this is only a rant.  If this had been an actual emergency, you would have received instructions from the National Board of BDSM Security.  This is only a rant.

I have standards.  They are my standards, and I feel no need to explain or justify them.  Other people have different standards, and I think that's just fine.  So please don't anyone feel they need to jump in and tell me that you have found something completely different from what I have found.  You may well be looking for something completely different.

It will be 30 years next March that I have been into what we now call BDSM.  For the first 13 years of that I chose to keep myself uncommitted and casual in my pursuits.  The next 8 years I spent trapped in a vanilla hell called marriage.  So that leaves almost 9 years that I have been single and seeking.  I am single and seeking, still.  I carry all the scars to prove it.  Each one has it's own little horror story, which I won't bore you with.  After the first few, I wised up and stopped investing so much of myself in the beginning.  Since almost none made it past the beginning, or even get to any real beginning, that saved me a lot of grief.  Even the disappointment got to be an old friend.

Now of course, after the first dozen or so disasters, it occurred to me that maybe it was me, not them.  Did I walk around with a huge, "Psychotic liars apply here" sign on my back?  So I backed off a bit, did a lot of soul searching, and talked to some people I respected.  I have a vastly different viewpoint about bdsm than most.  Predating the internet saved me from a lot of the chat room lunacy that is now accepted as truth.  My definitions of dominance and submission are far different than most.  I am more than comfortable knowing that there are few like me out there.  No value judgments.  We are all unique in our own way.  But there are some few who see things the way I do.  They all pretty much confirmed that no, it wasn't me, that they all found the same things that I did.  I would refer you all to Jack Rinella's "Flake Bait" column, which I'm sure you can find easily enough on the net.  Being that he's gay, and I'm not, it isn't even a gender thing.

Amongst my other endearing qualities, stubbornness has a featured place.  I hate failing at anything.  I stayed 8 years in a marriage with absolutely no redeeming value, because I refused to accept that I couldn't make it work.  Neither will I give up in my search for the woman I seek.  I will not compromise my standards.  I would rather be alone.  Being alone is something I'm quite good at, much as I would prefer not to be.

But what prompted this rant, you ask?  I'd be happy to tell you.  There is a popular belief...wrong, but popular, that you can and should get to know someone on the internet before meeting them in person.  My personal experience tells me this is absurd, that people think that weeks or months of trading pixels on a screen is a better investment of their time than spending an hour over dinner or a drink.  Even more absurd when you consider that the internet has enabled a culture of super "Walter Mittys".  Our bdsm culture, supposedly based on trust and honesty, has become a cesspool of lies and dishonesty.  The internet is the ultimate anonymiser, where people can become whoever they wish to be, and do so with no regard for who their fantasies might harm.  But it's not even the lack of honesty that bothers me.  The fact that I've ended almost every bdsm interaction I've ever had over lies is inconsequential to the real issue with trust.  The real issue is that most of those I encounter are unable to trust.  They are so afraid of life, that they will not live it, and it matters not the circumstances.  It doesn't matter who I am, what I say or do, because in the end, fear triumphs over all.

Last month I wrote a submissive woman on collarme.com.  She replied and we began to talk.  Whenever that happens, I know automatically that there is at least a 90% chance that I'm being lied to about identity or intentions, but a 10% is better than none.  My profile is quite detailed and specific about what I seek.  A woman who is strong, confident, highly intelligent, trustworthy and able to trust in return, seeking a committed bdsm relationship.  The rest is negotiable.

She certainly seemed all of that.  We exchanged messages on collarme for a day, then moved to IM.  The first big hurdle came when I motioned the phone.  That generally eliminates almost all the obvious liars, but the obvious liars aren't the problem.  But no problem there, and we began to chat on the phone, as well as by IM.  She seemed to be everything I was seeking, but that's frequently the case with the really good players.  We had vanilla interests in common as well as bdsm.  Our moral beliefs were similar.  She was obviously highly intelligent, gainfully employed and self sufficient, and willing to relocate with nothing of great consequence to keep her where she was.  And coincidentally, she had a week of vacation coming in early July.  So, about 2 weeks ago, we started talking about her coming to visit.  We discussed expectations both for the visit, and afterwords if things worked out.  About 10 days ago, she told me she had made plane reservations, and would be arriving the evening of July 3rd.

Pretty cool, huh?  Back a bit, I talked about 90% as the lying percentage, but that wasn't really accurate.  I meant that 90% of those who actually got to the meeting planning stage were lying.  Maybe 1% of those I spoke to got to the meeting stage, so what the real odds are, is 1/1000 from first contact, to getting off the plane.  So when she told me she made her plane reservations, I knew there was still only about a 10% chance that she had actually done so.  She then told me she was rotating to night shift at her job for the next 10 days until her vacation, which meant that we wouldn't be able to talk much, and my intuition started pushing the 90% higher.  By about 5 days ago, I was nearly 100% certain that she wasn't coming, though we continued to talk about plans, and what she wanted to see in Boston.  We were going to go to the Esplanade today, to see the Pops.

That same day, I noticed that her profile was removed from collarme.  Over the course of the next few days, I asked her repeatedly for her flight info, and was continuously answered that she would e-mail it.  Of course, it never came.  On July first, she promised she would e-mail it that night.  I spoke yesterday with her and asked her if she sent it, and she replied that she had.  Of course, I never got it.  She then broke off conversation altogether and put herself on invisible status on her IM.  For anyone with a brain, there is an easy way to know when someone on Yahoo is on-line but invisible, and of course, she was.  Equally obviously, she didn't arrive last night.

I wrote her my standard message in such cases.  It's not like I'm not used to it.  I told her that what she did was wrong, cruel, and her little fantasies weren't harmless.  Up to this point, I've never had a reply from any of them.  Those who are too afraid of life to live it are far too afraid to face those they have lied to.

But this morning, to my great surprise, she actually replied to my message...offline when I couldn't engage her.  She told me she was sorry, that she really had meant to come, and that she really had bought the tickets, but just was overcome with fear and couldn't get on the plane.  She asked for a second chance.  She also made a critical mistake.  Yesterday, when I knew for certain she wasn't coming, I wrote about it on my collarme account.  She referenced what I wrote there, in her message to me.  That meant she read it, and collarme has a feature where you can see the names of everyone who looks at your profile.  So I looked there, and lo and behold...when she canceled the profile I had met her under...which by the way was brand new when I wrote her, she created a new profile the same day under a different name.  She was a strong, confident submissive woman, willing to relocate, and seeking a master for a ltr.  So even before she stood me up, she was seeking her next victim.

Now, I wouldn't have given her a second chance, anyway, even if I had believed her.  It was more than obvious that she wasn't what I was seeking, and I would never be able to trust her again, even if she was.  And I've been through this same thing so many times, that I've learned to just forget it and move on.

What is really sad and scary though, is that she may actually believe her own lies.  Many of them do.  They truly believe they are strong, confident women seeking an ltr and really believe they are going to get on that plane.  Of course something always happens, never their fault of course, that convinces them not to, and it's off to find the next victim.

I'm sure right now she's on the phone telling her friends about the evil man she narrowly escaped the clutches of.  It's herself she's trying to convince, and I have no doubt that she will succeed.  And that, is what's out there.  And that, is why I'm still single.

So thanks to you all who kept reading to this point.  I obviously needed to vent.  Life really isn't that bad.  I've made some wonderful friends in the bdsm community, and I value you all highly.  And I'm ok...really.  I'm already looking for someone new to write to, to start it all over again, because somewhere, that 1/1000 is out there, and I WILL find her.  Or maybe she will show up at the next munch, or my next trip to Paddles.  It could happen....

Have a great Independence Day, everyone.  God Bless America