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I am a newly discovered submissive woman. For the moment I am looking for advice, guidence, and further exposure to the community. I was directed to look at this site for support and a better understanding of the lifestyle. Being a beginner I know I am very naive, but my hope is to soon gain a better understanding of what it is to be TRUELY submissive, and whether or not it is something I feel that I am.
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In spite of the bliss of finding what i believe to be my true soul mate (if there is such a thing) i find that i am still unsatisfied. there are a few qualities that i find he is lacking, and it's my task to decide what is most important. while i never want for affection, understanding or unconditional acceptance, he has almost no drive or discipline for anything. he also is very passive. one thing that i crave is someone who is willing to make decisions and take control, which is something i am absolutely not getting from him. he also has little or no interest in pursuing any kind of serious BDSM lifestyle, something i find myself missing more and more.
a local bar hosts a Fetish BDSM Night once a month. every once in a while i go with friends as kind of an adventurous night out, but i always feel a sense of loss. I look around and feel left out. Left out by my friends who are mainly there to poke fun or see something wild and crazy, and left out of all the activities and comaraderie of all the "regulars". i feel alone in a room full of people.
I know that i long for a strong hand to give me release and discipline, and to make me feel beautiful and mysterious. to be naked and humiliated and at the same time more comfortable and at peace than ever before. i know that my boyfriend can never give me these things. but i'm not sure that i'm willing to give him up for it. this is my decision. maybe someday i can find a comprimise. i hope so.
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ok, so i've basically diappeared from this community for almost a couple years now. as i was just coming about in my self-discovery, someone discovered me. i have since been in a very loving and affectionate relationship with someone who is so much of what ive always wanted in a man that i think maybe my own dreams created him. he is kind and forgiving and never afraid to show his affection for me openly.
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I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your kind words and suport. As of right now i am no longer looking for a Dom. i feel i may have found someone who is my true match and will be spending most of my time and energy on him. Mostly this message is to the friends i have made here, i appologize for my absance and slow reply to messages. i will try to keep in touch. That is all... wish me luck!
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Hello all. Just posting some new pics, and saying i am still alive and kicking. i have just been living life, experimenting a bit and having fun. i still have no steady dom, but i hope to some day. i would really love to have someone to see on a regular basis that i can explore and play with. But in the meantime... ;) |
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well... things are moving right along for the new sub. i want to thank everyone for your kind words and support, i really appreciate it.
ive been learning a lot, about submissiveness, and myself. learning a bit of self control and obediance. it's definately not as easy as i thought it would be for me, but i am enjoying learning. it feels good to know that i am learning how to control myself. it has definatley becoming an invaluable experience.
i have decided to keep my submissiveness in the bedroom for the time being. i think i would have to meet a very special dom indeed, that i have grown to love and trust before i could move onto a full time kind of a thing. i think that that kind of devotion would have to be earned, but given that, i would be more than happy submit entirely :)
ive actually been thinking that perhaps i might try being a switch. while there is no doubt that i love being dominated, i have to admit that there is still that part of me that wants to take control. there are times when i want nothing more than to have someone to use and take care of and adore in any way that i see fit. ive actually been thinking about it more and more. but like many thing's i have a very specific type of person in mind. it couldn't be just anyone, ya know?
so now there is an added twist in the road. but for the time being i am feeling good about things where they are. especially that i am becoming more clear on what i want. and that is the first step, right? |
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well, what a response ive gotten. fresh blood, eh? my experimentation is going well i think. im still not sure how deeply i want to delve, but im willing to try anything once. i try not to form an oppinion about tanything until ive tried it. perhaps thats why i dont have an oppinion about many things. sometimes i feel bad whaen someone asks me a question and the only answer i have is "i dont know". but thats the only honest answer that i can give. sometimes i think that makes me come accross as timid or hesitant. and ive never been very good at communicating my feelings in direct conversation. but i would much rather give no answer than a half-assed one.
ive been told that i take direction very well for a beginner. in truth, i had little doubt in my ability to follow orders. it's not hard to do what your told, at least for me. what ive been pondering is my desire to submit, and to please, which is the essence of the whole lifestyle. how strong is it really, and what is my motivation for it. lots of new things to consider. im sure ill have lots of fun considering them too :) |
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| Age: 23 |
| Rincon,
Georgia |
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