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| Dominant 23 yr old woman from Sydney. I am fascinated by the BDSM community and have the deepest respect for its residents. My sincere interest in learning as much as I can about this lifestyle has lead me to participate in a year's worth of training by one of Sydney's most popular professional Dominatrixes. This gave me a lot of experience and exposure, but I am by no means a professional and could never personally associate money with a D/s relationship. I study Education and law, and work in Sydney. I enjoy genuine, intelligent, and witty discussions. Outside of a D/s situation, I am very easy going, and love a good laugh. Currently this site serves as a way for me to keep in touch with the Community.
PLEASE Note: I am not seeking any kind of sub/slave at this point in time. Please, don't write and ask to be my sub/slave. Also, I don't use msn or yahoo- email is the best form of contact. Furthermore, there is little less attractive then a message written as though it is a text message from a 15 year old- call me old fashioned, but a little grammar never goes astray. Thanks.
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Occasionally, when I have teased him to a point almost beyond what he can handle, when his body is weak from pleasure, he turns and buries his head into my shoulder, my neck- breathing. Its a moment that tells me he knows how weak he is for me, and he knows I know. As though he can see himself, slave to his appetites, slave to my every word and touch. He keeps his eyes closed, furrowed brow and runs his hands through his hair- at a loss.
He knows he has more coming. |
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I get asked a lot why I am not as much of a sadist as some might anticipate, and why inflicting large amounts of pain is not high on my priority list. So, here is my 'reply to all'.
While I do certainly use pain, and enjoy seeing my mark on my slave, and punish when it's due, I do not chose to inflict unnecessary pain on a sub. This is because, in my personal experience, I gain much greater satisfaction from breaking in- step by step, and seducing a sub into submission, rather than have him submit out of fear. Respect gained from fear will never be as faithful or as thorough as genuine, earned, voluntary respect. If I can take the time to train a sub in every thought, movement, word, and action, and have them so crave my authority, my next instruction, how greater the power exchange- rather than snatching it from him with a lash of my whip. As the passion and connection increases, to have him naturally feel weak at the knees, to not be overrun with desire but to feel a deeper gravitational pull to the floor, to my feet, where he knows he truly belongs. To know that any punishment from me is my desire for him to be better, not bruised. To have any thoughts of kissing my lips to be overrun with a desire to be at my feet.
Yes I use pain. However, a whipping, a sub will remember for a week- a seduction haunts you for a lifetime. |
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Last night's 'Extra Dirty' night was fantastic. Great music, great crowd. I had a delightful time with a sub friend of mine, who was very obedient. I was yet again reminded of Aristotle's Politics, when writing about the difference between a natural master, and a natural slave. A master is one whose reason governs his appetites, and a slave is one whose appetites govern his reason. |
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Mmm, I had a day dream today. I was in a fetish store and saw this incredible leather Dog/puppy hood, with huge ears and snout. It had studs and was attached to a huge collar with a padlock. I cocked my head to the side, and bit my lip. I imagined sitting in the park, reading a book, having just let my pup off the leash. He kneels at my feet, just in jeans, a leather harness, pup mask, and collar. His eyes are bright, and he waits with a tennis ball in his mouth. Eventually, I say "Drop", pick it up, and throw it. He jumps to his feet and runs after it, falls to the ground and does a quick push up, grabbing the ball in his mouth. He runs back and falls to his knees. I can hear him breathing heavily past the ball in his mouth... it sounds just like panting. He waits eagerly, yet patiently on his knees, just for me to throw it again. In broad daylight, everyone watches my play with my strong fit, leather bound pup. He doesn't even notice the people watching. At the end of the exercise session, I lead him home on his leash next to me.
mmm.. :) a puppy would be fun. |
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I read this today, and it stopped me:
"Be careful. It can be a terrible knowledge. To know who you are without any delusions or sympathy is a moment of revelation that no one experiences unscathed. Some have been driven to madness by the stark reality of it. Most try to forget it. But as much as the knowledge will give others power, you may gain power over yourself, if the truth doesn't break you."
- "Eragon", Paolini. |
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Another response to some mail:
When I first began to learn about BDSM, what I was blown away by was not the taboo, the shiny latex or the whips- it was the people- the real, genuine people, who demonstrated a love, respect and the deepest trust for one another, beyond anything I'd seen evidenced in vanilla relationships. From there, I had to know more. What saddens me the most about this site is all those people who have clearly missed the most beautiful thing about BDSM- the sheer, honest sincerity of it all- being true to oneself, to your carnal desires, and to your partner. I feel that maybe you are one of the few others who have seen this, and want to be a part of it, I know I am.
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I thought I might share one of the responses I wrote to some recent mail- I was asked when I think I first discovered my Dominant tendencies:
"I think I can remember the specific moment I felt my first Dominant hunch. I was 16, in David Jones, (ha) and my dad had just bought me a long, tight, black leather jacket. I remember sliding it onto my shoulders, breathing in that smell, hearing the creaking sound of the new leather. I remember pulling my shoulders back, standing a little taller... and feeling invincible. I think after that, moment by moment, a domino effect of incidents later, and a little research- and I could finally pin point what that feeling was about." |
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| Age: 23 |
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Arizona |
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