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Baton Rouge TNG is having an open social tonight at French Quarter Daiquiris on Essen Lane. Come as you are. We (and the venue) except people exactly as they are. Male, Female, Trans, Bottom, Top, Switch, Straight, Gay, etc... :)
Baton Rouge TNG is an outreach group in the baton rouge area for those who are 18-35 (and their partners) to educate about bdsm and just have fun :) |
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Looking for new playmates. :-) I really want to squirt all over someone's face :-) Service top preferred.
I'm a heavy switch with a Dominant. Looking for toys and pets of my own |
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I've been masturbating an awful lot lately... |
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Yay! Fire, wax, choking, massage, and orgasms... Elated Pet. |
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So tired of feeling unwanted. |
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I just want to be in love. |
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*sighs* I need orgasms :( |
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I sit here thinking about all the lies of omission from Him. All the lies He told others. That we were just friends. He told me we were in a poly relationship. He told them He was only involved with them. What a jerk! 8 months of bullshit and lies... |
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For 2014 I want to find an amazing awesome fun play partner :) |
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So tired of feeling worthless and alone. I love my Daddy and I love being poly. I hate living as a single secondary though. |
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Why do femmedommes seem more formal protocol based? |
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Daddy beat my ass Thursday night. I definitely needed it after the week that I had. I miss being able to play that rough with him all the time. I wish I had an Owner that I could see more than once a week. So I could play and cuddle and feel safe all the time.
Have been reading research articles and writing note cards for the last 11 hours. Must take contacts out as my eyes are dry, tired, and everything is starting to become blurry. Time to go to bed and close them for a few hours. Can't wait to get zapped with electricity tomorrow night by my friends and loved ones :) I'm so tired and slightly stressed out. |
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School has consumed my soul this semester :( I need a spanking terribly *sighs* nope I have to study for an exam tomorrow. |
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I always end up with crushes on unavailable women... :-( |
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I love being my Daddy's pretty pretty princess. 15 months going strong :) |
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My doctor started me back on an anti-anxiety/ anti-depressant again today. I've continually felt worse and worse since the move, the robbery, and the breakup with my former Owner. Too much drama with school administration as well. Maybe I will finally have some much needed breathing space again. |
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I love my Daddy big big.
I decided to just stop looking. I'm a very busy girl with school and other social obligations. I think when the right Owner comes along it will just happen naturally and not forced. Just because you send me an im does not mean I'm going to respond. I am not interested in anyone who is not local to me. Thanks |
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Baton Rouge TNG is a pansexual educational group based in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. We look to reach out and teach people 18 - 35 about BDSM -- what it is and what it isn't. We welcome all people of any gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation.
Our August dinner munch will be at The Thai Kitchen
(4335 Perkins Rd.) on Wednesday August 21 at 7pm.
This event is open to those 18-35 and their dates.
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People don't tell you how hard it is to be a single secondary. To schedule time to spend with the person that you love just to feel sad and lonely when they are with their other lovers or spouse. To have such a lovely date and then go home alone to their wife. To feel all the insecurities when a new partner is added to the equation. When she gets more time or attention because of the shiny new limerence involved. It sucks. It's lonely. Would I trade it for monogamy? No. |
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Daddy is out of town again :-( Guess I need somebody to keep me company |
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<a href="http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/9668643/call_now"><img alt="Call Button" src="http://www.niteflirt.com/listings/9668643/call_button" border="0"></a> |
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Saturday night at a play party I experienced artistic cutting for the first time. I added a picture of the after (the purple is surgical marker) and it also shows my new nipple piercings. |
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I got my nipples pierced today :) |
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Verbal vomit... makes it a little bit better sometimes. |
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I wish I could be beautiful, or invisible. |
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So tired of going to bed alone every night. I thought I was doing better. I thought I was getting over him. All I want to do is hide and cry. Haven't hit the gym in 2 days. I'm just so depressed. So tired of feeling like a fuck up. |
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Would love to find a trainer (locally) to help me be a better submissive for my Daddy. I really feel this will help me be more suitable for a potential Owner. |
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It's heartbreaking when Daddy is mad at me and I don't know how to fix it or make it better... |
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Just when I thought I was better I spend most of the morning crying... Argh! |
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I've been swimming, tanning, dieting, and working out everyday for the last several weeks. My clothes are baggier and I'm definitely feeling better. I can't wait until I actually am attractive. |
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I feel so lost and broken without an Owner |
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YAY!!! 4.0 THIS SEMESTER!!! |
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I wish I were beautiful or invisible... |
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I give up... Not only do I suck as a submissive, I'm beginning to think I suck as a person. |
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I'm tired of being sick :( I haven't had a spanking in well over a month :( |
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i feel so lost and so broken. Ever since the semester started i have just felt out of place everywhere i go. i put on a smile as to not worry my others, but i feel like i'm drowning and just cannot come up for air. |
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4 months later and I think I love Him...Not sure if I want to. So very afraid. |
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I may not be a first choice, but I am still a great choice. I may never be a trophy wife, but I am a trophy nonetheless. I have nothing but complete adoration and devotion to my Master. I love and appreciate all the knowledge and guidance given to me by my Daddy. I cherish the servitude from my Dolly. I am definitely a lucky little girl. |
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Master wishes me to not only continue to.grow my hair out but to stop coloring it. I've been coloring my hair for 20 years. This is definitely going to be a challenge. |
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I am the owned property of my Master. Yes, we are open but with everything going on in my life right now I am emotionally unavailable. The thing is I don't play without an emotional connection. |
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the closer i get to Him, the further i push Him away... Will i ever be a good pet? |
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Some how, some way i hold onto the notion that there is a, "forever." Though i will more than likely never experience what is considered "true love," i cannot help but believe it is out there for me somewhere. Naive and foolish i know, but i suppose that's just part of being a little girl. |
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After all, it's only smoke and mirrors with wasted pipe dreams. |
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I bottomed to my Sir on Wednesday night. I bottomed to my Daddy and topped my Dolly last night. I am having the worst case of droppies today and don't have any of my others to snuggle with. All I have are my textbooks for my tears to fall in. |
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i don't understand submissive types who say they are worthless. Why would a D-type want to own something that has no worth? |
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Constant exhaustion. This semester has only begun and has me literally exhausted. i am so thankful that Sir helps me keep my priorities straight. i am thankful that He makes time to give me permission to do things in my extremely limited extra time. i am thankful that He keeps me on top of my studies. i am thankful to devote 100% of my free time to Him. i am thankful for His forgiveness when i am tired and cranky. i am thankful to be His. |
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My neck aches from His hands being wrapped around it and my scalp tingles from being dragged through his house by my hair. Thank You Sir. I am Yours |
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xA2Q3WJyhX4 |
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Not to sound conceited but girls like me are hard to find. I'm far from beautiful but at the end of the day I can make you smile. I can melt the hardest of hearts with my love, loyalty, and compassion. I can cook, clean, perform other domestic services without complaint for some of the sloppiest of people. I can kick your ass at video games (most of the time,) sing you silly songs, and be your best friend. When you compare me to other women or constantly fawn over the pretty girls when we're together you will lose pieces of that little by little. Soon enough you will be left with a shell of a person who has no drive to serve you, care for you, or even love you. Girls like me you need to cherish. You need to tell us how much you cherish us or we just go away. |
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service brings me freedom...
pain brings me freedom...
obedience brings me freedom...
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I forgot how much fun it is to have a crush :) |
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Violet Wand on the girlie bits fucking hurts! A lot!!! Please Sir, may I have another? |
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Because I appear outgoing and tend to have bouts of socializing people tend to forget that I'm an introvert. I've learned how to mask for the most part my discomfort in public places and smile through the agony of a racing anxious mind. I'm blessed that those closest to me understand. They don't get upset when they don't hear from me for days at a time as long as I do check in here and there. When someone seems short with you or vague online don't assume it's because they're not into you. Yes, it could be that. It could also be that they're an introvert. |
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If you're married then I expect to be able to speak to your s/o... |
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I may be a "little" but I'm not your "little" so don't be surprised when my "big" tells you to go fuck yourself! |
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Since people fail to read the entire profile...
I am not looking for a Dominant at this time. I have a Daddy that I am very happy to have. I am a poly girl so am always open to new friends/lovers/playmates. Just because I play with someone DOES NOT mean that I belong to them...
Also, I would prefer the companionship of someone who identifies as female. I'm not looking for a threesome or to bring her home to my Daddy... I'm looking to meet her for my companionship only. |
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TPE? Not gonna happen. Not with you anyway. |
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I wonder what it's like to be one of those lucky people. I don't mean someone who is wealthy with the nicest home,car, and toys. I mean one of those people whose life is full of love. One of those people who gets to either say or hear the words, "honey I'm home," every night instead of sleeping alone. |
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I remember a time not too long ago when I was terrified of my sexuality. When I was terrified of just existing. Now I am insatiable. I play hard. I love hard. I fuck even harder! |
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I'm ready for spankings and sex... Lots of both! |
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Boo... I've been sick with pneumonia since Sunday. I am tired of being sick. I want to play!!! |
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Thought I was doing better mentally & emotionally. Guess I was wrong. I feel so defeated. |
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one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small |
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With his cock in my mouth, his fist in my hair, and the words "sweet pet" being uttered from his lips... it's that piercing look in his eyes I will remember most of all. |
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I'm laying here unable to sleep. I'm still kind of wired from the over-stimulation tonight. Trying to shut my brain off and wishing I had someone to curl up next to. It's not even sexual. I just need to feel someone. Someone whom I care for and who cares for me in return. To hear them breathing next to me. (I hope that doesn't sound stalkerish) To be able to reach out and touch them when I have a bad dream in the middle of the night. To wake up to their sleepy face, bedhead, and morning breath. To have those spontaneous slow dances in the kitchen with only the music playing in our heads, yet our bodies being perfectly synchronized with each other. To sit in a room with them in utter silence and feeling that my night is complete.
I want. I need. I ache. I yearn.
One day... |
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So, I really don't think I'll find what it is that I need, what I crave. Maybe it's just time to put these desires behind me... |
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So yea, I'm a video game tester for a living... Think Grandma's Boy... That shit happens everyday! |
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*sighs* I just want to find a real Owner. Someone who understands the needs and cravings of a pet girl and a little... It's like they understand one part of me but neglect the other, or just want me and when they get me throw me on a shelf and only acknowledge me whenever they want to. |
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I added some new pictures today. Took them this morning. I recolored my hair and believe it or not I am tan in the picture... That's tan for me. |
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"is that a hickey on your neck?"
"ugh, no! it's a choke bruise." |
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So, I think I am kinda crushing on him right now :) |
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The reason I must have local:
In 2011 I was in a coma for 18 days. I had to learn how to talk, walk, and care for myself again. I was in the hospital for 42 days and in physical therapy for 5 months afterwards. I was already a heavy girl. Since then I have a lot of pain issues. Some days I cannot even get out of bed because I hurt so badly. I am morbidly obese with several co-morbidities right now. I cannot just join a gym and walk a mile a day. Some days I can barely walk to the bathroom. My healing should be much better than it is but because of the weight it is not. I have still manage to do a great deal that others in my condition would not have been able to do. (i.e. graduate college last week)
I have to lose 150lbs before the surgeon will touch my hernias.
I need someone local for proper reinforcement and punishment. I need a lot of love, guidance, and pushing. It is why I need a Daddy type or a Mommy type to help me.
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hehe one of the boys at work today told me that I'm adorable because I was barking and meowing at my computer screen :D |
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I need to be fucked! Like seriously fucked. Toe curling, bed soaking, gut wrenching sex. Every hole used and abused until I'm nothing more than a puddle of girl goo. Not just fucked, but beaten and fucked. Bruises, cuts, scratches, choked, and fucked. Choke me until I'm almost unconscious and then fuck me some more. Smack me across the face as you tell me I'm beautiful. Hold me down while I kick, scream, and fight back. Make me cum until I beg for you to stop and then don't stop...
So, I've had sex a couple of times this year and it just okay. Nowhere close to the intensity that I have needed and desired.. |
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I wish I were beautiful... or invisible |
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That's a nice cock... Now. Let's see if that brain can keep me wet. |
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Tonight I went to a munch. I go to them quite often but was somewhat pensive this evening. My friend (a Domme) ordered her subs dinner for him. She picked it out and ordered it. I thought it was sweet and just want that dynamic so badly! |
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The reason I must have local:
In 2011 I was in a coma for 18 days. I had to learn how to talk, walk, and care for myself again. I was in the hospital for 42 days and in physical therapy for 5 months afterwards. I was already a heavy girl. Since then I have a lot of pain issues. Some days I cannot even get out of bed because I hurt so badly. I am morbidly obese with several co-morbidities right now. I cannot just join a gym and walk a mile a day. Some days I can barely walk to the bathroom. My healing should be much better than it is but because of the weight it is not. I have still manage to do a great deal that others in my condition would not have been able to do. (i.e. graduate college last week)
I have to lose 150lbs before the surgeon will touch my hernias.
I need someone local for proper reinforcement and punishment. I need a lot of love, guidance, and pushing. It is why I need a Daddy type or a Mommy type to help me.
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Officially employed. I now play video games for a living :) |
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So, I had my appointment today for my hernia. After sitting in the waiting room for 5 hours I found out that I don't just have one hernia, I have two. The surgeon doesn't feel comfortable performing the surgery on me due to my weight. She referred me to the charity obesity clinic in New Orleans.
I'm doing my best not to be discouraged. I'm just tired of being in terrible amounts of pain all the time. At least the charity system now has dietitians and physical therapists that will be able to work with me (at no cost) to get myself healthy.
Good thing I have a car and it's kind of cool that everything is going to happen in NOLA. Road trips anyone? |
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Graduation in less than 36 hours! |
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Looking for a Daddy or Mommy. Real time and local only. |
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guess some people cannot grasp the concept of local only |
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I need to feel him! Pulling my hair, caressing my cheek, scratching my back, smacking my ass, kissing my lips, and fucking my face *le sigh* |
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I miss being someone's snuggly puppy |
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Yea, I pretty much give up... |
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Since when did being a "bitch, slut, whore" become a positive thing? Did I miss the memo? What ever happened to being an elegant and delightful lady? |
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I realized today that I have not lived alone for the Holidays in 11 years. I have always lived with a roommate or a significant other since I was 20 years old. I've lived alone for 9 months now. It sucks :( I wish I at least had a roommate or something. |
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YAY! It's almost Halloween! It's almost time for fun parties! YAY! Soon it will be Thanksgiving Break, time for finals, and then a month of relaxation! |
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Ah, good ole collarme... Always good for a laugh. At least it's one thing that will always be consistant. The amount of morons all gathered in one place.
Otherwise school has been taxing this term. Work is well. I am enjoying dating and being around my friends when time permits.
Do I still think of her? Every so often. Moreso feeling sorry for her than anything else. I can't help but feel pity for sad pathetic creatures who will never amount to anything in their lives. |
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I am available. I am not going to look for an Owner... I'm going to let Her find me. I will only serve in real life. |
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Don't bitch about the system if you're not willing to put forth the effort to change it... |
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'I pledge allegiance to my Flag and (to*) the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.'
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Girr makes me happy :) |
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Just because I mention the fact that I'm going to play with a toy DOES NOT mean I will give you details about said episode... SO STOP EMAILING ME ABOUT MY TOYS! |
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Recently got a 10" pink dildo... I think I shall play with it tonight :) |
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I'm beginning to wonder if a real pet owner is out there... |
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People who think that they are submissive when they are only a bottom bother me... big time |
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Just for future reference I may be fluent in English but not so much in douchebag asshole speak. If you're going to be a dickhead then expect a snarky response and to be blocked. Does this make me any less of a submissive. Nope, just makes you more of a fucktard...
By the way please please please for the love of god people double check your profile and make sure you have the proper usage of the words DOMINANT and DOMINATE! |
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Oh yea in case you haven't figured it out already... I'm pretty fucking awesome :) |
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Yay! So freaking excited! Tonight was amazing in so many ways... I learned one great thing about myself tonight :) I can throw one hell of a whip! |
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I am so happy yet so very tired... I am so blessed :)  |
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2 funerals in less than 24 hours... I don't know how I feel about all this...  |
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Oh, that smile you see me wearing all the time... FYI it's fake! |
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People never truly change. Situations change. Nope, the old saying is true YOU CAN'T TURN A WHORE INTO A HOUSEWIFE... |
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As much as I desire to, I cannot just drop on my knees to serve right now... I caught ill in January and was medically induced into a coma. I was in the hospital 42 days and am still recovering. I cannot physically submit, however I can submit mentally and emotionally. The physical will have to come at a later time! |
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Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? Be honest with yourself before sending me a message. Do you really think I give a shit?
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I like her... I really really like her. >^^<
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Been beat up. Been broken down. Nowhere to go but up when you're facedown on the ground. I'm in last place if I place at all, but there's hope for this underdog!~ Audio Adrenaline
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Is it rude to tell a dom or sub that they are not worth my time? I'm sorry but I have no attraction to someone less intelligent than myself. I'm not genius but apply myself very hard in school and would consider myself educated. Then again, one doesn't have to have a higher education to be intelligent and hold conversation that does not revolve around sex. If you email me and you're initial email includes anything about sex I will not respond.
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Two friends of mine were interested in the three of us forming a triad. I've always wanted to belong to a couple. Not just half of the couple but both people as their pet, mentally, emotionally, sexually, etc... I feel like she doesn't want to talk to me. I try to make conversation I try to get her to tell me what's on her mind and what she has been thinking. How am I supposed to even fathom being with someone when there is no communication... :( I miss her terribly.
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I'm trying to be social. I'm trying to get out more. I'm trying to make new friends and meet new people. The more I try the more I feel like I'm falling backwards into a black hole. Maybe I'm just making excuses to justify "why I don't feel like I fit" as a pushing mechanism. I am starting to feel abandoned yet again and the panick has almost had me completely ensued twice just today. I really wanted to go tonight. But I have the lack of transportation problem. I don't have the money for the Gate so planned on hanging out at George's or going to visit with Jepsy while he's working at Past Time. Now, I'm thinking about going home and hiding under the covers. I've wanted to sob all day long. Not just cry but have one of those gut wretching sobs that cleanse the soul from time to time except I can't bring myself to the tears. I don't understand I got pierced yesterday. I am usually flying high and happy about life several days after a piercing. Is it possible that I just crashed early? Some people say that they are a support system but it feels like everytime I need to reach out to one of them that I can't. Either I can't talk to them about the lifestyle, they're too wrapped up in their own drama, are too busy, etc... All are valid reasons but I really do feel like I'm starting to shut down (would those be the correct words) emotionally to the point of apathy. |
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So my abandonment issues have caused me to ruin yet another friendship. Except I made him cry :( that is why I usually avoid expressing how I really feel to someone most of the time.
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I am still under the protection of Citizen Spike. I'm sorry if this has caused any confusion. Yes I know that he comes across as somewhat abrasive but the only reason for doing so is because he loves me. I am his Yashah. If you have problems with getting the approval of a Protector before becoming my Owner then you are not the Dominant for me.
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Well damnit I really liked him too...
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Anyone going to the RSVP munch tonight?
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Would it be out of line if I said, I miss you?
The better my grades are getting the more I feel like I'm self-destructing...
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I don't think I've ever felt like I've been under this much pressure before. It sucks... I feel compressed on every single end. I feel like I have to act a certain way to meet the expectations of my parents. I get lectures from my best friend who is younger than I am that I need to grow up and knock it off with my rebellious attitude and the whole punk rock goth lifestyle. They have no idea about my BDSM interests and would never understand them. That hurts
School is kicking my butt this semester. I'm fighting to keep a C in math and biology.
Conforming is so hard for me. It makes me feel so pressured. I feel like I have so many expectations to meet right now from those surrounding me that I ended up breaking off my romantic relationships. It has brought me a slight sense of freedom but now I'm lost all over again.
I feel like I'm spinning out of control!
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So, recently I've made some pretty big decisions for myself. Granted, I'm not proud of the way that I did them and the grief that they caused. But, I do feel a sense of relief that comes with letting go of a relationship. I was hoping to be able to maintain friendships, but I don't think that it is going to be possible. |
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Sometimes things are best left unsaid because they will end up causing more damage in the long run... Maybe I should have just smashed my head into a wall.
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Dominants with no ambition in life amuse me. I mean seriously how can you expect to have any say so in the life of someone else whenever you live at home with your mom? I've never once claimed to be the smartest woman in the world and know that I'm going to have to get by with smarts since I don't have looks, so whenever I am interested in someone I lose it quickly when they are not as intelligent as I am.
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Biology II is kicking my ass!
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Things are going very well, however living in a poly household 24/7 is slightly more difficult than I thought. If I had a space of my own I think that it would be perfect!
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If you understand me then you can understand that I'm not into having just one relationship. I am poly. I have a submissive boyfriend whom I top from the bottom I am his princess and I am his world. I am under consideration by someone whom I strictly submit to. I also am starting to develop feelings for a certain guy who I think would be fun to switch with :) All three men understand that I am a pet. Yay!
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Only looking for tops who are local to me for regular play and to attend parties with as their play thing...
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I need to belong to somebody. I need to feel the tug on my collar on a more regular basis. I need to feel someone run their hands through my hair or across my ass telling me that I'm a "such a good slut, sweet pet, and good girl." I have to have it... Granted, these play dates have been fun, but I need more...
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i wish i could be invisible.. or beautiful
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I'm looking for a sincere hypnotist. there are things I just can't seem to work out on my own or even with medication for mental health issues that I have.
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I no longer have a Daddy :( I am no longer owned... I'm a stray pet once again :(
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Sometimes you love and love, but it's never enough...
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Gotta love when ugly men refuse bbws.... I maybe fat, but at least I have all my hair :)
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I want to lock a pretty little thing in a cage....
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Am still looking for friends in the BR and NOLA areas.
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Yay I have pretty blond hair now :) New pics coming as soon as they're approved. I hate that whenever I change my default all my pictures disappear. I like to keep my pictures current instead. New to old, instead of old to new.
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So I thought I had met someone who was worth my time. Apparently I was wrong. The boy I was interested in was nothing more than someone who tops from the bottom and has no interest in servitude.
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Isn't there anyone who wants someone real? I am not a sadist, though evil thoughts cross my mind on occasion. I am looking for a pet to keep me distracted during the week while I deal with the stresses of school. I am looking for a mutual cuddle slut :)
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As previously stated I am looking for submissive/ switch friends only for the time being. I am not interested in serving anyone else. I am not interested in being served, but more so interested in being someone's pet or someone being mine. If you're not into the pet dynamic then please don't waste mine or Your time. Thank You...
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Trait apprehension- a general fear of communication, regardless of the specific situation. Their fear appears in conversations, small group settings, and public speaking situations. High trait apprehension- more likely to experience embarresment in a variety of social situations.
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Sometimes, I almost feel replaced... I know I shouldn't feel that way, as we are nothing more than friends.
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First Day of School! First Day of School! The Criminal Mind, Speech, Corrections and Procedures, World Mythology, and Art :)
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My mouth hurts so bad. As much as I am afraid of them, I cannot wait to go to see an oral surgeon. Tonight I am stuck awake in tears of pain.
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Love and Hate... two emotions that intertwine together... Heated passion in both. Unfortunately for me, I can't seem to separate the two. Those I love I always end up hating...
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So, I finally started carrying a purse, not a lunchbox... But, only because it's a coffin :)
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:( Someone said that I look like I'm 40. That's depressing... One more year until I'm 30. That's just as depressing...
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OKay, so it wasn't so bad... I just have serious problems watching people get beaten. Yes, I know that they like it, but a part of me always wants to reach out and protect that person from their dominant, hide them, and hold/ cuddle them until all their red marks go away. Is that normal?
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So tomorrow I'm going to my first play party. I'm totally excited and extremely nervous. If You are also at the FemmeDom party in Baton Rouge tomorrow don't be offended if I don't speak to You. I am terribly shy and have sociophobia..
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My Daddy and Bubbie are in NOLA... I am looking for a pet of my own in Baton Rouge. Someone understanding that I am involved with others and can handle that. I spend my weekends in NOLA and weekdays in BR while I am in school. I am ready to actually start learning and practicing the domme side that I have inside.
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I don't know what has been going on with me lately. I have felt so miserable since I came home on Sunday. I don't want to be at home. I have kept myself busy with friends everyday. Whenever I am at home all I want to do is sleep my life away. I guess this is just depression? I don't understand why I am depressed though... everything in my life is perfect.
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I spent New Year's with my friends and feel like I'm no longer a part of them. I know that they still love me. I don't know if it's because I've been spending all of my free time in New Orleans or if I'm just changing. The real question is, have I changed for the better or the worse?
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I'm so depressed... I want to go back to my Daddy and Bubbie... :(
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Life is still pretty wonderful. I've spent the last week down in New Orleans and have enjoyed every minute of it. I can't believe that I'm falling in love again. :) It is the most amazing thing. I ended up getting a 3.0 this semester in college. I'm quite pleased with myself. The last day of school I went out with friends and got totally smashed. I haven't been that drunk since the summer. I've been able to spend a decent amount of time with my Bubbie since I've been here. Hmm, I see Him almost everyday. It's nice to have someone to kiss, hug, and cuddle during the day and come home to my Daddy at night. I was even able to see Ma'am and sit with her, Bubbie, and Daddy in the French Quarter on Saturday. I was with my entire family at one time :)
Daddy told me that I can have a girlfriend, as long as I don't leave Him for Her. So, I'm thinking about it. Girlie companionship would be quite nice. She would need to be a subbie (and enjoy topping) as I can't handle anymore dominance in my life right now. Between Daddy, Ma'am, Bubbie, and the Parental Unit, it feels like I'm being attacked at times. I know that's not the case, just them asserting their dominance. So, any cute available girlies in NOLA wanna play? I don't care if you have a boyfriend or whatever. I WILL not be involved with him as you WILL NOT be involved with mine. I really do think having another woman to befriend and do girlie things with will finally make me feel complete.
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IT'S THE LAST DAY OF THE SEMESTER!!! I MADE IT!!!
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Happy Monthiversary Daddy!!!
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Added 2 new pics! I recently added some new art to my face and got my bridge pierced. I decided to change up the color of my hair again to a dark purple. I'm feeling rather gothy again. :)
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Only two finals remaining! Sociology and English... Then the semester is over!
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Snow Snow Snow Snow Snow in South Louisiana. Who woulda thunk it :P OOH Daddy is now on CollarMe his screen name is Always Careful :) If you wanna get to me, you have to go through him first :)
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Sometimes I feel so amazingly close to Him and then other times I feel the wall placed between us when He has a project that He's working on or yet another girl that He's interested in... That wall sucks because sometimes I'm not able to reach out when I most need to...
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Lately I feel a lot like the little engine that could. Just trodding along. I've been so overwhelmed with everything that I have to do for school lately that all I can do is take babysteps. lately I have been sending my Daddy a text message and it simply says "next step catch the bus to school. Okay, I'm at school, next step Academic Learning Center Assignment." Etc... It's the only way I am able to manage without being completely overwhelmed by the big picture. Baby steps. I have an English exit test tomorrow, a Sociology term paper due on Monday, a Biology term paper due on Monday, a Biology exam on Monday, an English exam on Tuesday, and final exams start on Wednesday!!!! So, yea I can only take things in small incriments, otherwise I end up freaking out and not sleeping like last night. |
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There was a gentleman in NOLA that had struck my interest several months ago. I had even asked for Him to train me. I lost communication with Him and ended up under the wing of Ma'am instead... A little over a month ago, He and I started conversing again. He stated that He would not push for anything further as long as I was under the protection of Ma'am. Ma'am had given me permission to continue to correspond with Him. Whenever I told Ma'am that He did not want to pursue anything further She advised me to stay away from Him as He had no right to draw such a conclusion when He had never even attempted to set up a meeting with me.
I am learning that everything happens for a reason. If I would have continued to correspond with Him, I wouldn't have met the wonderful man that I am with now. I am falling in love with this man the more time I spend with Him every weekend. He treats me like a princess. He gives me hope that life can be a happy thing. :)
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I had the most amazing weekend as usual. Daddy picked me up from school on Friday night. We went to supper with Becca and then he went home and we went clubbing. My sweet Bubbie is the DJ at Voodoo on N. Rampart on Friday nights from midnight until 4am. Check Him out!
The weekend was great and I couldn't ask for more. I have amazing, caring, understanding friends. I woke up in the arms of my amazing Bubbie Saturday morning and then woke up in the arms of an incredible Daddy today.
The angels have smiled brightly down upon me for a change. :)
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I am so tired right now. It's the middle of the week and I'm worn out. I haven't had any exams this week which is a good thing. However, I had an essay in English due, and a research paper for my Criminal Justice class due tomorrow. I also have to give a 10 minute oral presentation on it. What really sucks is the day that I turned in my last essay I was assigned yet another essay. I was quite proud of the end result of my last essay. It was a profile essay. Something similar to what one would read in a magazine. My classmates chose normal people, a doctor, a banker, a fireman, a lawyer, etc... Me being me had to shake things up a little bit. I decided to profile Ma'am and her Domme side. I gave her an interview in her dungeon. My next essay is on a political issue. I chose gay marriage. The problem with this essay is that I cannot choose a side. It has to be completely expository. Should be interesting. My criminal justice research paper is on the District Attorney Office. I chose that topic because one day I do plan on working in such an office. Not as a lawyer, that is so not me, but as a Victim's Advocate, a social worker. I also have a research paper to write in biology and sociology.
I am so ready for Friday night to be here. I am ready to crawl back into my Daddy's arms where he can hold me safe from harm.
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I have had the most amazing weekend! Daddy picked me up from school on Friday and we went to his apartment in Metairie. I was greeted with the cutest pink teddy bear, and gifts of lotion, perfume, bubble bath, blow-pops, and a new pink vibrator *blush*. We rented movies and had pizza for supper. Saturday we went to the aquarium, held hands, and kissed in random places. He had Chinese and I had sushi for supper and giggled all evening. I did not want to leave my Daddy's arms today. I pouted quite a bit on the way home. I wanted to continue to hold him close and make love to Him all day long. Being with my Daddy makes me so happy. I am scared because I could fall in love with Him. I don't think I'm ready to feel something like that!
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Today has been hellacious! I had a chapter exam for Sociology and a a huge exam for Biology. The semester is almost over. Less than a month to go. I am so ready for Friday to be here so I can spend the weekend in New Orleans in my Daddy's arms. For a long time I didn't realize that I was polyamorous. To be quite frank, I looked down on it. But now I have Ma'am, Bubbie and a Daddy. I cannot find these aspects all in the same person. I have a very different relationship with all 3 people. All 3 people are comfortable and accepting of eachother and know how I feel about each of them. I have never felt so loved before. It is a wonderful feeling. |
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I had the most wonderful time this weekend with Ma'am and my Bubbie. Also, I have met a wonderful 'Nilla man and he is focusing his romantic energies on me as I am focusing my servitude on Ma'am. :) |
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Oh wow, today's the day :) I get to spend the entire evening with Ma'am, Her Husband, and Bubbie. I am so excited and kinda nervous. I'm nervous about being at the Lake Front Arena. That is a lot of people to be around. I hope Bubbie is right and that I'll be too concerned with our little bubble to notice anything else. I am spending the night with Ma'am and She will be bringing me home tomorrow. I am realizing how lucky I am. I have also realized that I have had to go through all the flames, hurt, discouragement, and pain to find what I have right now. Bitter jealous girlfriendslike Nicole, abandonment from Michael, fake people like Mz Stripes, and neglect from other Sirs and Ma'ams. Sometimes ya gotta go through hell to find heaven.
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Yay! I got my hair done this evening. :) Lots of vibrant unnatural colors as usual... a mahogany base with chunks of blues, purples, and pinks of every shade that blend in and out of each other. It's like art :)
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I am such a happy happy girl. I had a wonderful evening with Ma'am and get to spend time with my family next weekend. I am blessed and so happy to have Them in my life. Next weekend I also get to meet Her husband :) School still has me exhausted and stressed as usual. But, knowing that I have Them on my side and in my heart makes life much better for me. :)
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This evening I will be meeting up with Ma'am. I am slightly nervous as I have never been alone with Her. I hate the fact that I am so afraid of people. When I am with Him, I feel like all is well with the world. I hope that She brings about that feeling as well. I am happy and proud that He calls me His pet :) I absolutely adore the song dedication. It makes me feel loved and special. Maybe one day I will feel as close to Her and I do to Him.
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The hypocrisy of the Dominants on this site astounds me. I can understand feeling that One's way is the only way for He/She and Their 'lil one, but to feel that that is the only way period and everyone should follow that same way disgusts me! I am glad that I did not get to know one better than I did. The more I observe him, the more his ignorance shows. It amazes me that more of the older Dominants (40+) are the one's blinded by their own conceit. I feel sorry for them because the world is changing. I understand the fear or even their disgust of these changes, however that is not going to stop them. The world is socially evolving. So get used to it!
I also find it quite humorous when people consider their ideals the norm or standard in this lifestyle. Since when is anything in this lifestyle considered the norm? W/we are a subculture just like any other. W/we may be considered the norm one day, but BDSM or even "Gorean" will doubtfully be the norm any time soon.
I am entitled to my opinion. I could personally give a shit less if you disagree with it. There is only One's opinion that matters to me, and that is that of my Mistress. It doesn't matter if you disagree with my lifestyle, thoughts, opinions, the way I dress, dye my hair, and carry myself. You don't mean anything to me so please don't waste your breath. I am me and you are you. You will not change me and you are insignificant to me...
*kisses*
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I am starting to feel so much better. Whenever I am overly anxious inside or even in public *since I have the issues there*, walking to my next class. I just imagine that I have Their arms wrapped me, holding me, protecting me, keeping me safe where ever I go. It is the most wonderful feeling...
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Today has been a challenging day to say the least. It ended with me crying in one of the woman's restrooms at school. I refuse to let others see my tears, especially when they are the cause of them. Almost didn't make it to the restroom. And now, I lost a contact... *sighs*
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I am having the most miserable week. I want to go home, crawl under my covers and cry!
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Exam week is over and I survived!
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No, I am not poly. However if I were to find the right Couple for me and I were their only pet that would be an acceptable cicumstance for me :)
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I have saddened someone and it hurts my heart... About a month ago a friend of mine told me that She would take me under Her protection until I found a suitable Owner for myself. I've gone through hell and back the last few weeks with school, illness, and vanilla heartbreak. I made a new friend and He stood by my side and held my virtual hand through the last week. I appreciate the fact that He cares. It makes a girl feel good when someone genuinely cares. I hope that He continues to care and will continue to be my friend. Maybe after a bit of time I will be able to trust Him in return. Needless to say, I have accepted the offer to join Her little D/s family until I can get my head squarely back on my shoulders.
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Midterm week! Please light candles for me and say a prayer or something...
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Someone recently asked me to contemplate about what I have to offer a Dominant or Domina. The more I think about it the less I have to offer One lately. Maybe I'm really not a submissive after all?
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Some nights I can't help but crying myself to sleep, wishing I were beautiful and that somebody out there actually loved me.
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why do women insist on wearing sunglasses that give them the same facial features of a bug? Also the hair extension fad has gotten out of control... *sighs*
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I am so sick of people claiming that they would love for me to belong to them, and as soon as they make that declaration I never hear from them again. I tired of the games...
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So I pretty much figured out that the reason the previous owner abandoned me is because he was lying about his other relationship... Yea... Ouch!
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Yay only 2 more days until the weekend. I am so exausted. College life is kicking my ass! I have a paper due tomorrow , a Biology test (on 4 chapters) on Friday, a sociology test on Monday, and another Math exam on Wednesday... But I'm kickin ass and taking names!
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You act like such a martyr because you are different. Don't act like you know me when you don't. I remember why I quit talking to you now because all you do is judge people. It's sad that you're so jealous of people who are in relationships that all you do is lash out about everything that you think is wrong with them. Maybe if you had a more positive attitude instead of your poor pitiful me bullshit people would find you more attractive... And BTW I think you would be a horrible Mistress. You act like me having 2 relationships in the last 4- 5 months is such a horrible thing... Well at least I am able to live in the same place (which only as of very recent has become rent free). In those last 4-5 months YOU have you moved twice... You get pissy with me when I'm depressed when all you do is bitch and whine about the way people treat you. A good Dominant has stability in their life. How the hell can you expect to Dom someone when you have no control over your life whatsoever?
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11 pages of handwritten bio notes... Oi Vey!
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Sweet I got a B on my first English paper and a B on my first math test... You know that test I was dreading! I'm so excited!
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Why is it that people take pictures with the room trashed in the background? Who wants to date a slob?
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Heartbroken twice within a month... Must be a new record for me... *sighs*
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