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I am currently stuck in Yorktown, VA for several months. I will be back in Cape May, NJ the end of December.
On Polyamory
I am a polyamorous, married man. I was once steadfastly monogamous, but circumstances over the last several years have persuaded me to realign my perspective. Once upon a time I was very apprehensive about approaching polyamory. However, there has never been a moment in my life where I have been as enthusiastic about the notion as I am right now, and that feeling gains momentum every day.
"The more you love, the more you can love — and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just."
I do not necessarily require commitment from a partner. While it would be nice to see relationships naturally prosper and flower in that way, I am open to playing with others and seeing where things lead. Commitment may be nice, but it is not a requirement for a fun and fulfilling relationship.
The problem in mentioning that I'm open to casual relationships, is that I may then appear to be interested in ONLY casual relationships. This, of course, is not the case, but I'm not sure how (or that it's even possible) to maintain an accurate depiction of what I'm looking for in that regard.
On Honor
The Chivalric Code may be mostly dead, "but mostly dead is still partly alive." My honor demands that I neither act with dishonesty, nor make myself complicit in another's dishonest behavior. I will not, ever, knowingly be "the other man," where my partner is involved intimately with me, without the knowledge and consent of their significant other. I will not be an enabler of infidelity. I have no interest in being anyone's dirty little secret.
If you are looking for someone to cheat on your significant other with, just pass on by. I am not interested in you, no matter how hot you are, no matter how desperate you are, no matter how much you think we may have to offer one another, no matter how piteous your story may be. Just spare me the wasted time, and spare yourself the embarrassment. I will NOT involve myself with you. Period.
As a Dominant
First and foremost, I expect a submissive to respect themselves. I am not looking for someone who already feels less worthy than her partner. I do not, and never will seek a lesser. One cannot give up their will if they don't first have one.
As a dominant, I seek an equal to myself, someone I can respect, someone who just happens to enjoy voluntarily becoming pliable to another's will, for a short while.
I am not a sadist. I do not take pleasure from inflicting pain for pain's sake, but I do thoroughly enjoy when others take pleasure in it. I love a well rounded ass and I enjoy the sensation of striking one with my bare hands. Spanking is one of my all time favorite activities. Most of all, I enjoy the reaction I get from my partner.
I can think of two distinct ways to shut up a mouthy little minx. Ball gags, or grabbing a handful of hair and stuffing her face full of cock. I may have neglected to mention that ball gags are a waste of a good mouth.
I also enjoy biting, hair-pulling, face-slapping, choking, humiliation, whatever her poison. I revel in my partner's pleasurable reception, but these are simply means to that end, not the ends themselves.
However, it should be noted that there's a special spot in my heart reserved for ass-beatings of various sorts. Spanking, flogging, paddling, caning, and any other form of whoopin' on the behind, I admittedly derive my own pleasure from these activities. There is just something primally appealing about the thud of a paddle, or the crack of leather, on a nice, plump, round ass. Those without much in the way of padding back there need not apply.
As I am not directly gaining pleasure from her pain (although I occasionally find pleasure in the act itself,) she can trust that I am in control of the situation, and of myself. There need be no fear of pushing boundaries too far, as I am distinctly attuned to her pleasure. However, I will test your limits, and toe the line.
I am a "GGG" lover. (At the least, I am indisputably giving and game. I suppose good is more a matter of opinion, but I'll let that question answer itself.)
It has been noted that even as a Dominant, I am largely service-oriented. While I certainly like to have my own wants and desires fulfilled, I tend to be very focused on fulfilling the wants and desires of others - on my own terms.
This does not make me more prone to accepting someone who is "topping from the bottom." If I am fulfilling someone else's desires, on someone else's terms, I am not acting in the capacity of a Dominant at all.
On Protocol
I take an intuitional, individual, and exploratory approach to BDSM. I am not formally trained. However, I have a healthy respect for tradition, and I understand where the Old Guard is coming from, even if I do not necessarily share their path.
While I am NOT interested in Total Power Exchange, and I am not looking for a "slave" or a servant, there are some elements of typical protocol that I find appealing.
I expect that a submissive will wait for car doors to be opened for her, and the same goes for entering and leaving buildings; If she reaches a door first, she should wait patiently to be escorted in or out. I expect that she will wait for chairs to be pulled out for her. I expect that she will be generally attentive to my desires and perform minor functions such as fetching beverages.
My desire for certain other elements of protocol, such as certain sitting positions, proper format and positions for requests, eye contact restrictions, forms of address, and the like will inevitably vary by the individual.
As a Submissive
Historically, I have taken primarily a dominant role sexually, and that is what I have the most experience with. However, I am open to exploring the other side of the dominance / submission dynamic with the right woman.
It is a powerful thing when someone is able to completely lay bare your weaknesses. The thought scares and thrills me in equal measure. This is mostly uncharted territory for me, and I wouldn't object to exploring those areas of myself with an accomplished guide who has the patience to lead the expedition at my pace.
I have a bit of a masochistic streak. I enjoy being scratched, slapped, and bitten. Being deprived of air during sex has a 100% certainty of getting me off in no time. Women with impressively large breasts have the easiest time with this, for obvious reasons.
I would say that my tolerance for pain is high, but I don't really have a good basis for comparison. The idea of being physically restrained and tickled for hours on end is tortuously enjoyable for me.
Being on the receiving end of a strap-on is something that I've been interested in for a long, long time and have not (yet) pursued. I would love to experience that kind of power exchange in a controlled environment. I am also quite interested in toying with electrical stimulation, violent wands, etc.
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