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hisfeistyfairie
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DaddyOuranosMyth
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A quick note: If you are in Africa, or anywhere that you expect to be relocated by me - I will not answer you. Do not waste my time...
An update to my profile, LONG overdue... (profile is run by the Dominant, since it is my choice which determines who joins us. Pictures of her pending.)
What do I see in a relationship: respect, honor, love, trust, passion, sex, dance, kisses, touch, obedience, discipline, ropes, paddles, brushes, clothespins, honesty, volleyball, massage...
~Puts the Rorschach cards away~
~~Note - We are a couple, but do not have pictures of her up due to the nature of her job. Interested prospects may request her picture, and it can be provided. Not looking for long term online, rather wanting someone to help out around the house (with benefits of course) due to the fact that she is working, and he is building a business. ~~
What is the lifestyle about?
A lot will say that it is all about whips, chains and ropes.
Is it? Maybe for some... So many fetishes out there, it becomes hard to tell.
For me, I see a LOT more than that. When a person makes sex everything that they have and want, it is more of a two dimensional thing.
What ever happened to romance? Should a slave be nothing more than that? True, some crave that – and I am not sure I want to know what it was in their lives, that made them want to give up everything that they are, to be a robot.
What does that make it for a Dom, or Master, or Top, or whatever it is? Aiming at that ideal, if a person did it, would be like life with a vibrator, masturbation. No initiative, no purpose beyond sex and bondage...
How would it be, if you were to introduce the other dimensions of a relationship – even if she is a slave... Is it not possible to love a slave? I think so.
Is life just the bedroom, and nothing more? If it is, then it will fade... What do you have at the end of it?
So what is it when a slave and Master truly form a bond... When you can feel this connection that touches through to your soul? Wouldn't it be so much better, finding a pairing that leads to love, passion, trust, surrender, faith...
I am more than the body I carry around... and I know that a slave is too... (although I enjoy that part of it too ;)
I enjoy sex, and the toys, but that is not what this is about.
Yes, I am a Kinky Romantic... If that isn't what you want, then move on... I am not a total sadist, I am about the heart, the soul, the mind, before the body. I am about trust, respect, obedience, rewards, punishments, discipline, service, as well as the joint experiences that bring passion and love.
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I JUST WON $1000!!! Free opportunities for everyone here, to win on a radio show that pays $2000 a day! Mail me! |
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Surrender
(relevant definition, verb): to give
(something) up voluntarily to another
Submit
(relevant definition, verb): to accept
the will of another person or a superior force
When a person surrenders, the point to
make is that it is to totally and voluntarily give something, as
opposed to merely accepting the will of another – there is a vast
difference between the two, in my eyes.
Why is it so hard for so many to
understand?
So many men want to experience the
submissive, even when they say they are Master Everything. They don't
appreciate the distinction – a girl who surrenders does it
willingly, and yet so many Masters feel they need to beat it out of
her.
The definitions are pretty clear, when
you stop and consider it. Submitting implies force, surrender implies
an incredible willingness.
The Masters who do it for show, who
want to say “see what I have” don't realize or pay attention to
an important aspect.
When a person lets their horse race, it
isn't just “lets get a racehorse and the day after we will race
it.” There is a vast amount of training and conditioning before the
racehorse ever shows in public. The spectator doesn't see it, but
there are months of training with a handler, teaching the horse to
give all in the race, teaching it what is needed to make a fully
cooperative pair with the rider.
If a person buys a racehorse and says
two days later that they want to race it, and put it on the track...
if it has never raced, and perhaps never even been ridden, what will
happen? The horse may buck, kick, fight every step of the way... It
may submit and go the right direction, to an extent, but will be
resentful of the force needed when it has had no time to develop
trust in the guidance of the rider. It will definitely perform in a marginal manner.
Is it really so different? Some forms
of “dominance” - so many doms or so-called Masters feel that a
girl should immediately surrender, but he can only get her to submit
– through fear, through force...
Would a girl rather live in fear in
slavery, or submission, or would she rather have trust and love that
inspire her to truly surrender all of who and what she is?
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What if...
What if you were surrounded by a world of Doms who said "Submit to me...."
What would it be like to find this man who was different and said "SURRENDER"
So few understand, so few really get it-
What would it be like to have this man find you, who does REALLY get what you need?
What is it like, in this world that previously seemed to be empty of those who can understand you? Could it be that suddenly you FEEL it - the amazing completeness that comes with TRUE SURRENDER?
Wouldn't it be amazing to find him, this man who totally understands you, inside and out... maybe even more than you do yourself?
As you look inside yourself, see what is so deeply burning inside you. Is this it? If this is what it seems, can you afford to let this opportunity pass?
So many people, yet so few can complete you so thoroughly... What if there can be love, surrender, guidance, trust, and a future that can bring you to levels you can't even IMAGINE?
There can be FREEDOM IN SLAVERY, and so few realize it. Could it be this one?
A connection so strong, so deep, that makes you want to just... Open your soul wide... Perhaps these are the things rare enough to TRULY EXPLORE.
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The first step to achieve love as a complete, unshakable aspect of your life is to redefine what you call love at the moment. Most of us think of love as an attraction to someone else, as a nurturing force that makes us feel cared for, as pleasure and delight, or as a powerful feeling of emotion. Although love is an aspect of these definitions, the wizard would say they are partial at best.
"All love as you mortals define it must fade and perish," Merlin said. "Your so-called love comes and goes. It transfers from one object of desire to the next. It quickly turns to hate if your desires are thwarted. Real love cannot change, it has nothing to do with an object, and it cannot become another emotion because it isn't an emotion to begin with."
Discard all false or superficial types of love and what is left? The answer begins to emerge with self-acceptance. Being an inner force, love is first seen inside yourself directed toward yourself. "Mortals go around in a fever, restless and anxious with love," Merlin said. "If they can't have their beloved, they think they will die. But love can't make you restless, not real love, because it never seeks to go outside. The most desirable beloved is just an extension of yourself. The love you think you will get from another exposes a limitation in your own awareness. To a wizard, all forms of love come from the self."
"That sounds incredibly selfish," Arthur objected.
"You're confusing the self with the ego, when in reality the self is spirit," Merlin replied. "Selfishness comes from the ego, which always wants to possess, control, and dominate. When the ego says 'I love you because you are mine,' it is making a statement about domination or possession, not about love. Those who have truly learned to love have first stripped away selfishness. Then an entirely different experience begins."
"And what is that like," asked Arthur. "Will I ever know it?"
"One day, after you have gotten over this restless fever, you will see a small light in your heart. At first it will be the size of a small spark, then a candle flame, finally a raging bonfire. Then you will wake up, and the flame will devour the sun, moon, and stars. At that moment there will be nothing but love in the cosmos, yet all of it will still be inside your own heart."
-- Deepak Chopra |
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written by me - a few random thoughts...
What is this love
what is this passion
is it something fulfilling
or something of fashion
When I take your hand
and take you to dance
do you feel it like I do
or does it come out of chance
to look in your eyes
and see to your soul
to feel your heart beat
does it fill up that hole
When you feel what is inside
the gushing warmth spreads
no longer held distant
not even by threads
to look in your heart
can you feel more
than the simple quick feelings
and see what's in store
to feel so connected
your heart tied to mine
a future so profound
a future divine
what if your heart says
to follow this one
give him your soul
and find more than fun
see you in years
a girl on his arm
so loved, so protected,
and kept far from harm
not just a fling
not just a day
but rather a passion
that lasts through all ways
what other choice is there
what other way to choose
its all you can win
and nothing to lose
let this man lead you
let him show how
just choose to surrender
right here and right now
(c) 2008 - me |
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I GET TO DRIVE!!!
(I know sounds like a little thing... but doc just gave me ok for it after 5 months without driving) :)
On another note - what man in his RIGHT MIND EVER says to a woman - "My first date with you is to go to my place, and I'd command her 'On your knees, bitch. Now lick my balls and don't stop until I tell you to.'" and then say - "I also care more than most guys about a girl having a pretty face."
WTF? I am shocked that ANY man would say such a thing and really expect to not die a fucking virgin!!! As for that being the first date - he has no CLUE - after all - that is the SECOND date, dickwad!!!
Tell me - I don't care how beautiful you are... What woman wants to know that the only reason a man likes her is because of how cute she is? That seems to be a shallow IDIOT to me - those of you who are out there - ladies... wouldn't you rather the reason that a man wants you is the passion you inspire in him, the vitality of your heart's connection... rather than what you look like? Sure is great you are beautiful - I respect that... but it matters more the kind of person you are.
I have known GORGEOUS women who were bitches that I wouldn't give the time of day to... What a girl is, physically, is only a SHADE of what she is. Who you are, deep inside, in your heart... what makes you laugh, cry, surrender... is NOT a guy who compares you to a playboy centerfold!!! (and how many of THOSE are unretouched photos anyway?)
For me, what I personally find matters - ok yes, I admit - attraction is a PART of what is there. That is nature, and a fact of life. But some women (or men) can be the most INCREDIBLE, SEXY, AMAZING people in the world... UNTIL they open their mouth!!! I don't want to be associated with a flake - it means more to me that you are honest, have personal integrity, and some degree of pride in yourself. And honestly, sometimes it comes out that who you are, deep inside your hearts... will overcome any physical defects you may have! I would rather have a woman who is overweight, bald, or has buck teeth, that can make me smile, than a superslim model of physical perfection who can only complain, bitch, and make life miserable! |
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Family and Lifestyle - how do you have both?
A lot of people wonder, if I have kids, do I have to give up all dreams of the lifestyle till they are grown?
Parents can wonder, what do I do to have what I want, and not expose my kids to it?
Actually it isn't really as hard as all that...
There can be a lifestyle without the kids seeing it.
How?
A few ways...
For those lucky enough to have a house-
it is not so hard to make a room soundproofed ;)
If you have a basement, which most people in Oregon don't, you could set up a playroom there...
At the least - when you have put the kids to bed, you can set a lock on the bedroom door so they don't walk in... teach them to knock :)
In the bedroom, is not in their sight.
Also, just because a girl does something in front of the kids that she knows is against the rules, doesn't mean she gets AWAY with it.
A look - a touch - a gesture, can all indicate it was NOTICED, and the girl can know that just because she did it NOW, the punishment may be even worse, later. Even if it is that forboding, that sense of "He caught me, what is he going to do to me?"
For that matter, going back to my earlier method of punishments, without physical contact... it is possible to punish discreetly.
For instance, if a girl were to break a rule, and need punishment. The kids may be doing homework across the living room, while the Master sits reading a book... and the sub sits facing him, KNOWING he knows she is there... and yet is totally oblivious to her at the same time. It isn't about what people see, it is about what is in your HEAD. The girl can be sitting, watching him, after he has placed her there, she may look at the kids as they do the homework, but the thing she wants most, Master's attention, is NOT THERE. What would that make you feel?
A lot of girls would feel it so deeply, as she looked at her love - and know that he loves her, but disapproved her actions, that she sits there watching him, IGNORED, as long as he deems necessary to make a point. The heart-wrenching knowledge, you disappointed this man, while at the same time seeing the love he had to punish you, regardless.
What do the kids see?
They are doing their homework, or whatever it is they are at. They see Dad reading his book, while mom sits in a chair, or on the floor. She doesn't seem to be doing much - just sitting there fidgeting, or thinking about something.
Then there is the other issue... What ways can a girl show her submission in life to him?
Dinner - he sits at the head of the table, she dishes up food for him, before anyone else eats.
Living room - she kneels at his feet, possibly on a cushion, because that is the place he chooses for her.
Restaurant - He orders for her, either getting her input, or just ordering what he feels she should have.
Anywhere - someone asks for her attention, she looks to him first, and he gives a nod to her that it is ok.
In all this, it can be SO discreet that unless you knew what you looked at, you would never see it... yet, it can be SO powerful.
Play can still happen, it may be a bit more limited, due to the presence of the children, since you can't do it in front of them. But it can still happen. As they get older, the kids go to stay with friends, with grandparents, and while they are gone... there is NO limitation on discretion. But if they are there, as you see above, the ways that it can influence your daily life can STILL be there.
Plus, there are play parties, where you can leave your kids with babysitters while you go to see others in the life. Those places where you can go and not have the social inhibitors that are sometimes forced on us.
So can kids and a lifestyle happen? Absolutely! |
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The romantic side
(ok this is 100% plagiarism- Marc Almond sang it - is one of my favorite songs- why am I putting this here? Cause I feel like it!)
Tonight's the night it said in my stars
That love would be round the next bend
I felt for a while that my run of good luck
Would never come to an end
This world was not made for me,
There was you, there was I,
and the sea and the sky
There was really no need to pretend,
I saw
Eyes of a girl, lips of a girl
Could it be you or a call from my soul
Could it be somewhere that I dare not dream
Could it be you, be you
...
Unlock the secret door to my vault
Open the gate that leads to my heart
Touch of a tempter, touch of a siren
Could it be you, be you
The desperate hours
the scent of the flowers
You put in my room
Makes me think of you
(Yes, it's abridged) |
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Poison Apples
(My spin on somebody else's spin)
(Thanks for the insight, Ross)
What EXACTLY is a REAL DOM
a REAL SUB
a REAL SLAVE
a REAL JOB
When your mother said to you
go out and get a REAL JOB
even though you HAD a job
one you LOVED with passion
What was she saying?
Go out and get a job that I APPROVE OF
When a Dom comes up to you and says
you need to learn to be a REAL SUB/SLAVE
Even though you are what you are
And maybe a very happy person at it
What was he saying?
KNEEL BITCH, if your LIMITS don't match mine, CHANGE THEM TO FIT ME
I want a slave who I can play with and dispose of when I am bored
When a slave or sub says
I want a REAL DOM
even though other subs are happy with him
even though he is happy being him
What is she saying?
I don't like the way you TALK to me,
You don't match what I have been told about
You like humiliating, and I don't
You like spanking but I hate pain
I am just saying:
When you or anyone says
"Get a REAL ..."
(because what you have doesn't fit my definitions of what you should do)
WHO CARES?
People are in this life because it is what they want! Not EVERYONE is going to see things the same. While I think that Males are meant to be dominant, women submissive, that doesn't make Dommes wrong, or slave boys...
It is what works for ME
I enjoy romance, dance, and love
Does that mean that the masochistic woman or man who wants to be caged is wrong?
It doesn't fit, for me... but for some it is a burning fantasy.
Is the woman who wants to be humiliated - degraded, and brought to depths of depravity wrong?
Again, not necessarily what floats my boat, but that doesn't make her wrong!
I will admit, in looking at some profiles I see things that can only be described as suicidal in some cases. I can NEVER agree with that viewpoint, and would not be involved with it.
Would I find a way to get that person help? Yes
But - even with that... in their mind, they are right!
What do you want in submission?
I know it may or may not agree with me - but you are right in wanting to be happy.
What do I want as a Dom?
It may or may not be what you want - but it is what I feel.
In their own way, EVERYONE is right. IF it hurts someone, then there are other issues that need to be addressed, and I would not begin to condone it.
CONSENT is a HUGE thing. FORCING your beliefs on someone else - THAT is something I DON'T see as right.
The point is, EVERYONE has different definitions of what is a Dom, what is a Master, what is a sub, what is a slave...
Just because it isn't what you picture, doesn't mean this person is not a REAL anything...
It just means, that person is not for you!
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Happy new year!!
Isn't it amazing, to
think how much there is before you?
When you can realize
"These possibilities are endless."
What if you could
find yourself looking here
at this place right in front of you...
As you crave to
kneel before this man...
Isn't it amazing, to just
picture yourself here,
before this incredibly
intense
sexual
powerful
Man
who you KNOW
with all your heart
you wish to serve...
Wouldn't it be great if you could
find yourself saying,
deep inside yourself
"I MUST please this man"
because you knew
this intense
connection
that drives you to
serve this man,
is better than ANY
other feeling...
To just picture yourself
adoringly
lovingly
caressed,
and yet knowing
that when it were to
please this man
you would
find yourself
with an ass, bared
paddled
as you
feel that heat rising within you...
What if you were to see yourself further,
as this man looks at his gifts under the tree,
next holiday.
When you see him looking at this one present,
A lust burning in his eyes to see what is in it,
the gift that
you know what it is,
because you wrapped it.
When this man is like a little boy at Christmas
taking that gift,
grabbing it,
as he has been looking at it for the last couple of days...
as you know he could
feel that anticipation
as he looked at it... and
when nobody was looking...
you KNEW he grabbed it, felt it
trying to
guess what is inside.
Then he grabs it, in Christmas day,
and he can
forget anything else
and just
RIP this package open, as he
bares it
finally
and you can
see this joy on his face
knowing
this is JUST
EXACTLY
what he wants.
Isn't it so great to
see the pleasure you have given him?
Don't you wish you were the package?
May you have a WONDERFUL new year,
and may you have the chance to
make every day as wonderful
as Christmas. For me,
I think that is the greatest thing!
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~stepping back a few~
Due to some other issues I am currently dealing with, I have decided that I am pulling myself back a bit from view. I am more than happy to continue talking to new friends and old... but I am taking the time to realign parts of my life that need it. Feel free to message me, any of you that have talked, or want to talk... I am around, just not really seeking anything beyond friends. |
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Romance and Sex
How many people realize the potentials of sex, when it means something?
I have found myself inspired to mention this because of a recent insight...
What sex is to masturbation... that incredible feeling that comes with someone ELSE doing it, not yourself...
When you can go a step further... and find that sex with FEELINGS is the same comparison to RANDOM sex.
Sex and masturbation are both releases... but how much deeper can it be, when you actually care enough about the person you are with to do more than JUST sex...
Doesn't a submissive find it to be a wonderful - incredible - experience to serve someone not because of a sex fantasy, but because the person she is with can actually love her?
Isn't that TRULY what a person wants... to be loved - not the pale imitation of love that is lust... but truly loved, cared for, protected by one who DOES care?
From my side, I think that as a Dom, (or Master if you will - it is all semantics. I belong in control... :D) it is SO much more fulfilling to feel something for the person you are with. I have never been one to just pick up random women at bars and have sex... it is more fulfilling to have a level of connection, something more than two bodies that may never see each other again.
If it is just because you want to be felt... need that release - why not just masturbate? I want LOVE - I want it ALL... If a girl gives herself to me, I want it to be because of who and what I am... not because I can spank her and get her off. If this woman gives herself to me, in that way... then I WILL... but it is NOT for that reason that I am with a woman.
I am caring, gentle, protective... yes firm too... open, adventurous... but more than the body, I want the mind, the heart...
Is that so much to ask? |
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The Slave's Heart
Does this man know you?
Does he touch your soul?
What if this man were to reach out and touch your hair, grip it, pull your hair back and just gaze into your eyes?
Would your heart flutter, your breath just suddenly catch in your throat?
Why do you feel the sudden stiffening of your nipples and the warmth lower?
Is it due to the feel of his hand in your hair, or because you know that in your heart you are helpless to him?
What if you found the man who knew your heart as deeply as only you do?
What if you could see him:
The man who understands-
your heart is not freely given, but TAKEN...
confidence just IS...
woman has been BRED to submit...
man has been BRED to dominate...
COMPASSION is a valuable trait...
domination is not PHYSICAL...
submission is done with the HEART...
HONOR is irreplacable...
his WORD is all he IS...
TRUTH will win out...
OBEDIENCE is expected...
PUNISHMENT is necessary...
REWARDS are better...
PASSION is incredible...
LOVE is LIFE
LIFE is LOVE
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Patience
There are many possibilities open to all of us.
Whether you are sub, or Dom... you are a person who has unlimited potential.
How you use that potential is determined by who you are, and what you seek.
For the Dom, that may be to take your time, and use or misuse a submissive.
Realize, if you use a submissive with patience, compassion, and integrity, being both honest to her and to yourself, you have incredibly valued yourself.
On the flipside, if you take that time to misuse the submissive, ignoring that she IS a person, that she DOES have feelings, lacking honesty or followthrough - lying to her or to yourself, you make yourself worthless as a Dom, or really even as a human being.
As the sub, if you take the time to be honest with Him, to obey, to honor and respect his wishes, to go where he wishes of you- stretching yourself to please Him- you are a jewel worth having.
If you lie to him, make promises and break them, if you say you will do something and sabotage it... these things all devalue you and make you despised, neglected, and possibly abused. Is it worth it?
To all of you Doms out there who take the time to find out what your submissive feels; to find out why she is crying - is it from an extreme session, her being happy, or sad?
Show compassion, show love, show integrity and honesty. Those around you will sense it, and it will carry through to all of your life.
To you submissives who also take the time to know that what you want is important... but still know that what He wants is something you feel in your heart is worth stretching for... When you can know how FREEING it is, to TRULY surrender all of you. When you can be both honest with him, and find the Dominant who will take what time is necessary to get you where he wants you, but firmly enough so that you know you can trust this man... when you KNOW this feeling that resides in your heart stems from love and a TRUE desire to serve... I salute you as well, and take joy in your joy!
What does it take to get there? Be patient, be honest with yourself. Realize that even though you may have been hurt, there ARE people out there who wish you the best. Watch for the flags, let yourself acknowledge that inner sense of who this man is. Does this feel right to you? Is everything in what he is consistent? Does he show compassion, respect, honor, and kindness?
Perhaps then, this is the man you have been looking for! Good luck in your quest - take time to know this person and you will find it well worth your effort! |
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Blackmail vs. Compassion
It has been drawn to my attention that some "Masters" on here choose to try and control a sub or slave by blackmail.
I would like to point out, that is both a DISGRACE and big BIG RED FLAG.
Subs/slaves/switches... if a Dom or Domme or ANYONE says that they will post you as a FAKE when you know you aren't... Have some respect for yourself. Don't let that stop you from being yourself... or feel that you need to submit for that reason.
Realize too, this is a sign that this person is mentally sick... with no respect for you or what you stand for. It symbolizes a person who has no remorse in life, and will HURT you and anyone else, because they have no respect for ANYTHING (including themselves!)
If they blackmail you on anything else... well, look for this when you deal with Doms. Not EVERYONE is like this, there are some GREAT Doms and Dommes out here. Realize too, you can report a post that addresses you and have it removed by this site. So really, FAKE posts are something that carry little weight unless you let it.
When it comes to it, look instead for someone who shows compassion, who can feel for you more than a glimmer. A sign of strength is being able to accept that until you own a girl, "No" is a very valid answer.
IF a "Master" is to say to you that your disobedience will cause him to badmouth you to others... realize that what he says about others says a HELL of a lot about who HE is.
If you see a post negatively slamming girl after girl... take a hint. This person is SICK. This person will HURT you, and not care. This person is CHICKENSHIT and doesn't have enough respect for his own authority to think he can get a "yes" by his own merit. Because he knows, HE HAS NONE.
If you find yourself doing this, think twice. Badmouthing someone all over the place because they didn't fit what YOU wanted does not make you more appealing... It makes you look like someone to avoid!!
Humiliation is one thing... and some have blackmail fantasies... If it has been discussed and agreed on, FINE.
A person can respect what I say here, show that compassion for a submissive... or they can be an ass... For those who have the compassion and RESPECT for a PERSON out there (Dom or Sub)... knowing that just because a person doesn't FIT you, doesn't make them a FAKE... I salute you, hats off.
For those of you who are too insecure about their own self to have to smear everyone who won't say yes... Realize there IS such a thing as Karma, and as for what I have to say to you - SOD OFF!
(My Rant!!) |
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Ok - addendum to the last post here.
What you resist, persists.
What you learn to accept, empowers you.
That is a paraphrase from someone I can't remember since it is 1:30 in the morning.
An example.
I was balding. It really made me feel self-conscious. So finally, I said hell with it and shaved my head. I started feeling SO much better.
I crawled up to 300 lbs. I was wearing a 29 inch waist when I graduated high school, got up to a 48 inch waist. I never wanted to look at me in the mirror. More, I felt depressed because it just kept getting bigger.
When I acknowledged that it was there, and forced myself to see that it was going to take a while to get it off... It took years to get there, it would take time to get it back off... But, I started doing something about it.
And I started feeling better about ME.
I spent 20 years playing with computers, miserable in 2 loveless marriages... well not totally loveless, but not IN love. So I went to my computer to escape. I didn't really let myself do much, partly because I was also mostly broke a lot.
What did I do?
I went back to school, got a cert that made me fall into a job paying half again what I had been. It fell in my lap.
I started to dance - because I needed something active, and I HATE sports.
Then I started seeing parts of dance that are so familiar when it comes to domination.
Things started to come together.
But what it came down to:
If there is something about you that you don't like... ACCEPT that it is there. Recognize it.
And FIX IT!
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Confidence, and getting what you want in life.
Ok - this is only PARTLY about D/s - it is more about where you want to go.
So many subs and slaves devalue themselves here- thinking that because of the excess weight that they have put on, and the lack of confidence that they have gotten, they have to SETTLE for something that they don't want.
Many want a Dom or Master to mold them and make them something that they CRAVE to be, but don't feel they have the willpower to get to.
Nine times out of ten, this seems to relate to weight. I will admit, physical attraction is important as well as the connection.
I will point out something:
YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF-
WITHOUT A MASTER!!!
If you want the change - it would be GREAT to have a Master to take you where you want to go.
But - that is only a WISH - IT IS POSSIBLE to change what you are, physically and even spiritually.
I am a Dom, yes. What it takes to make these changes is DETERMINATION.
I was 300 lbs with a receding hairline- growing a pony tail in defiance of nature for the top.
I lost 70 lbs and shaved my head to change what I was - to bring me more to an ideal of me.
How did I do it?
I DECIDED TO!
When it comes to reshaping your body, it is not EVER going to be permanent for you, unless the reason you do it is for YOU! A Master can put you on a diet... can push you to lose the weight - and if he is good, you WILL. BUT - if you are waiting for that to happen, you are in a catch-22.
A lot of submissives will say, they are in great shape, don't want a fat Dom, or balding Dom. A lot of Doms may not say it, but don't want a fat sub. A submissive or slave who can show themselves to have a pride in who they are will be MUCH more sought after than those with no self confidence.
How do you get that pride in yourself?
Decide to have it!
What if you, as a person, could just stop and let yourself see a future with you in the physical shape you want to be?
What if you could just lose the weight that bothers you, or take that step to achieving your dream? It is something that everyone realizes, deep inside... every submissive, every dominant... all have one thing in common.
YOU ARE A PERSON under there. There are emotions, fears, wants, needs.
Losing weight, achieving goals... neither of these are going to happen overnight.
PATIENCE is a fact of life. If you are going to GET YOUR GOALS, it is a necessity.
Maybe part of the problem is that you don't have any goals. That is a problem with a HUGE part of the world's population.
Look inside yourself.
What would you like to do with your life? A common dream is to be loved, be dominated, surrender... but lets be a little more specific.
HOW are you going to get there? One of the BEST ways you can get an owner, a guide, a mentor, is to show this Dom or Domme, you DO have a pride in yourself, in your appearance, in your LIFE.
So, if you want that to be what you get to, maybe you need to first set a goal for yourself that shows you that you have a value of your OWN. It would be GREAT to have a slave, a submissive. It would be WONDERFUL to have a Dom or Master. It would be INCREDIBLE to find all this with love.
IT ISN'T NECESSARY!!
I want to be loved too - but I do feel a love for myself and what I stand for enough to know that I LOVE ME! That said, I will not settle for less than I aim at... I feel my own self worth, and want a woman who feels that same worth in herself.
A lot of Doms don't say this is a criteria for them. A lot don't realize it themselves! Some submissives see in themselves this worth and KNOW that they are in this place themselves. These are the few who will state what they feel and realize that it is so.
The fact is, you will never have true love, EVER, unless you learn to LOVE YOURSELF!!
So, picturing that future you so want, to have this other person who will look in your eyes and see your soul... feel an incredible connection... Realize that the ONLY way you are TRULY going to get that love is to show yourself that YOU LOVE YOU.
If you are reading this, you have something you don't know, maybe.
Something that is in every one of us, because it has been bred into the human race for GENERATIONS.
EVERY person has this power to change him or herself. To make dreams come true.
If you want to reach your dreams, it starts with YOU!
I know that YOU CAN DO IT! I HAVE FAITH IN YOUR ABILITY!!!
JUST DO IT!
My wishes for your improvement of yourself - in your own eyes, more than anyones - are with you! |
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Respect - a bit more on it.
A question directed to me, and I had to think on this. I give my opinion, not necessarily gospel, but how I feel about it.
From a sub - when is a subtle push too much, when does it get to be rude? When a girl says she is not interested in 24/7 or that she isn't into what he is, and all of a sudden he vanishes, no goodbye, nothing... Does showing respect mean ending everything with a title?
This comes back to honesty. Respect for a Dom means you should be honest with him, and if he asks more than you can handle, you need to tell him. The same respect comes to respecting yourself also. It is NEVER rude to be honest. It is unfair to yourself and the one who considers you to do anything else.
For a Dom, he should accept the respect and at least communicate back to her, that her inability to accept his demands is a dealbreaker for him. A Dom or Master still owes that respect back to a sub, to be honest with HER and not just disappear.
Titles: Respect doesn't mean calling someone Sir or Master. Respect for a dominant is reflected in what you DO, and how you ACT toward a person. It doesn't mean necessarily that everything is Yes Sir, No Sir...
Respect FROM a dominant should be as prominent as from a submissive. That doesn't mean kneel slut on introduction. It doesn't mean just going straight to trying to humiliate her, order her around after knowing her 10 minutes.
Remember, these are PEOPLE. Would you walk up to a total stranger, talk to her for 10 minutes, and then start ordering her to do everything you say? Where is the time to develop trust and more than a passing acquaintance?
A submissive - a serious, true at heart submissive - is worth the time it takes to develop her to be yours. There are times it is good to take the time to undress a girl, to slowly remove clothes a stitch at a time... to tantalize with the slow revelations that come with the baring... yes, sometimes it is great to go further and rip them off as well, it all depends on the moment.
But if you truly wish to own her, it starts with her heart. Take the time to know her, and what she is about, and you do yourselves BOTH a great service. Do you want this for a night, or a lifetime? If you want her for a lifetime, what is a few weeks to get to know this person - REALLY know this person?
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A Collar
What leads a girl to get a collar?
What leads a master to give one?
At one job I worked, when I asked what it took to get a promotion, the boss said "If you want to be in management, you need to act as if you ARE management."
That said, if you want to BE the slave or submissive of one, you should behave as if you ALREADY ARE.
What does that mean? Honor, respect, honesty, and obedience. I am not saying to obey everyone because they say kneel bitch! What I am saying is that if you see potential, and the capability of this one to control you, then be honest, don't play games. The most sure way to find yourself out on your ass and not owned... thrown to the curb... is to play games and show that it is ONLY a game to you.
Even if you see someone who you know cannot be your Master, at least be honest with Him and yourself both. D/s is defined by the couple (or however many come into it). Everyone is not made to be with everyone else. That is just a fact! Don't waste the time of another by trying to be what they want when you know it isn't in you. As a slave, or submissive, you owe yourself this bit.
Self preservation is a human instinct. That preservation should be the part that lets you take the time to get the RIGHT master for yourself. Don't just give up on your prime principles because you don't feel you are worth it. There IS someone out there who fits you. Don't compromise yourself for it. Once you give in, your life is either going to be ecstasy or hell. It is all who you choose to lead you. Is this man what you need? Are you what will make this man happy?
That said, I will point out one more thing. As a Dominant, Master, Top, whatever you are. The SAME THING applies. If you want to own the slave, you should treat her as you would treat your own property.
This does NOT mean opening with "Kneel bitch!" It means that from a Dominant's side, you should be honest, have trust and respect for your (potential) slave, slut, or submissive.
Yes, I said RESPECT. While there are some here who crave humiliation, who crave total degradation and to be driven to animals... Those are a minority, and honestly, if they crave it so deeply that it drives them, you are looking at someone who has done something in their past that they don't want to take responsibility for. And it could bite you in the ass!
I am not saying all humiliation is bad... or even degradation... but remember there is a PERSON there... not just a toy. If you break your toy, don't respect her, lie to her... you will get the same back. She will know that you care little for her... you may THINK you love her... you may love her... but if you are not honest, respectful, then you will lose her.
By respect I don't mean to be a doormat to your slave. What I mean by respect is to appreciate her limits, and if you are stretching her past them, FINE (as long as it is agreed beforehand that this is a limit that you will eliminate, or a soft limit). Just remember, it can't be PUSHED at a rate that scares her. If she trusts you, and she trusts you to do what is right, then the time it takes to do it is worth it.
Also what I mean by respect... remember that this is a PERSON. There may be a valid reason for her to have not done something. At least talk to her first, before offhand punishing her. She may still need to be punished, but she wants to know that you care enough to find out WHY she is doing what she did. She wants to grow, you want her to grow.
If you love this girl, you will cherish her, guide her, and be consistent with her. Consistency is critical, as well as following up with your word. If you SAY it will happen, it BETTER. If not, you are disrespecting her and yourself... All a person has, in the end, is their integrity. Your word has to carry weight, or it is nothing. If you don't honor your word, she won't honor or respect you.
~steps off my soapbox for the night~ |
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Romance, and Kink... Yes they can exist together. What is to say that a man can't love his submissive? Why can't a dominant respect his property?
When a submissive is surrendering, she gives respect and trust to her dominant. When the dominant is in control, he should trust his submissive as well - if there is no trust, there is NOTHING.
Love - when it can go both ways - can bring what would be a fun time to an INCREDIBLE experience. Just because a dominant is dominant doesn't mean he needs to be abusive, or even harsh. A word can do more to correct a girl than beating the hell out of her.
The feelings that go with it make the relationship - the chains of the heart are stronger than any metal, and will get more from a girl than a whip!
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Why punish?
A lot of Doms are afraid to punish a sub, thinking "she didn't mean anything bad by it..."
Letting something "slide, this time" is really a BAD thing, in my opinion.
Why?
The submissive/slave (due to my preference, I am going to refer to as her, and girl from here on - why? Because I can!) often feels that you don't care enough about her to punish her.
Also, since it is setting a precedent, it may make for a lot more attitude from her. The girl is seeing that she can get away with something, so the Dom is soft, easy to walk all over.
Consistency is key - I do have a prior sub to thank for that insight, since she had a lot of experience to add to mine. What matters is that if you find inappropriate behavior, you nip it in the bud, before it grows out of proportion. A girl will test, to see what she can get away with. If she gets away with too much, you will lose her, or at the very least not have a submissive. When it turns to vanilla with kinks, that is why.
One other VERY important reason. When you punish a girl, it gives her a chance to finally let go of it all. Because if you don't, she WILL punish herself. And typically, a sub is harder on herself than you would ever be. So while it hurts to discipline a girl sometimes, it is for the BEST because it gives her a chance to be free. There is a REASON for the cliche "freedom in surrender." She gives that right to punish to her dominant, so that she can live in now, not kick herself for something she did 3 months ago.
You may know, as she does, that she didn't MEAN to crash your car, or break your favorite glass. But if you don't punish her for it, she will find herself miserable because it stays with her until she is given the permission from you, her dominant, to let it go. And after you punish, you DO let it go. If you can't, then the punishment wasn't harsh enough, or you need therapy. :)
The same thing applies in raising a child, or training a dog... I do have experience with both of those, and my dog was one of the best mannered dogs I ever met. :) My kids are great too, and the analogy is not meant to demean the submissive- it is a role that the dominant has, and if you want good behavior, you punish bad behavior.
Something important though - when you ONLY punish, and don't reward, you get acting up for recognition. If you don't acknowledge her any other way, the girl will do something to get SOME kind of attention. If she can't get good attention, she will get bad.
My dog always heard "good boy" way more than he met a newspaper. My kids always hear "I love you, and I am proud of you" from me. My submissives - well, I have been on sabbatical for a while, but still, a submissive is very likely to hear "good girl" from me when she does something I really appreciate.
From the girl's point of view, she knows you noticed what she did. The girl knows that you appreciate it, and that you are happy for her obedience. If she is really good, and loves floggers, or riding crops, or being whipped... then she gets that for being a good girl.
But wait a minute, you say... if a whipping is a REWARD, how do I punish? There are punishments that are MUCH more effective than any physical punishments. If you have a routine with the girl, and she knows that she is allowed to help you with something in particular every night, or morning... say she helps in the shower to scrub- she doesn't get to. Or, if there isn't a privilege to take away, there is always blatant ignoring of her. Sit her next to you, or on the floor in front of you, don't let her move from there, and spend an hour doing something else while she knows you aren't paying her any attention. Punishments vary by submissive- that is one thing about this lifestyle - there is NO set rule that works for everyone as a punishment or reward. Some girls are pain sluts, others can't tolerate any
All of that said, if you read all of this, great! If something strikes you as working for you, also great! If you think it is all BS - well - that is your opinion. :) This coming from a gentle romantic, take it with the grain of salt that it is worth. It is my opinion, and how I see the lifestyle. If it doesn't fit your view, that is what the whole lifestyle is about. If you get 100 couples in the same room, you will have 199 ways to do things. Really, it comes down to trying what may work for you, throw out the rest, and try to be happy.
I wish you well :) |
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I hope to one of these days connect with the woman who appreciates that it is the dance that makes the relationship. The sex is great, the service is wonderful, but there is a lot to life, and passion makes it incredible!! |
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Yet another update - doing great since getting out of the hospital this time. :) I spent 3 weeks in the hospital and had brain surgery twice. All said, I am very fortunate with the results of the surgery. I have great friends and am happy with where I am. For all of you who have sent their prayers, support and well wishes - thank you. I am through the rough part of it, and from here it will be much easier. |
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Just an update.... Currently back in the hospital, hopefully out in a couple of days. As soon as I am out of here, will start doing chemo and radiation. Overall I am doing ok, just an update in life. Not anything I ever planned on, but after the surgery the rest is easy. Of course, the worst part of it is that with chemo and radiation, the type they are having me do do not have the side effect of my hair falling out... I was hoping it would so I could at least get a break from shaving! Ah well. |
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Hi - doing a lot better today. A good night's sleep, starting to get off some of these other drugs... Don't know how the chemo is going to go, but I feel good at the moment :) |
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Doing ok on the recovery... I am now going through lots of sleep, cut down to just three meds, and hope to be down in the next three or four days to just one. At least till next week when I talk to the oncologist - sounds like chemo is next. I am open to talk to anyone, but am not looking for anything beyond someone to talk to for now... I didn't expect this, and am coming to terms with it. Still, who knows what happens talking - just that I am NOT looking for a sub/slave to own right now - Will talk more later. |
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For any who I was talking to... sorry if I am a bit off right now. I finished my surgery on weds... didn't expect to have brain surgery, but I am doing well. A little disoriented, a bit dizzy... but I can talk, and I have all my senses still. It is not quite a week, and have been dealing with different drugs to get evened out. I am happy to talk, but if I talked before, sorry if I missed a little bit. I will talk, and mostly here, will take a little bit to come back to me. Hopefully next month I can get back to dancing again :) |
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Ok - where are the intelligent ones, the ones who have more to say anything other than what turns them on? I will be honest, I like that--- BUT, if you don't have anything that mentally appeals to me, the rest is not going to have any appeal either. Some men crave a woman who is a robot, who don't have any opinion but what they are told to have.
I don't feel that way - if you can't have an interesting conversation with me, can't talk to me about anything other than "What are your favorite kinks?" Then MOVE ON. I want MORE than sex- I want a partner! I am not saying that partner will have full say in what is going on- slave or submissive is fine - but I want a connection that goes further...
The link from one soul to another that bridges any distance and pulls us together- that makes something more lasting than a few rolls in the hay... When you can look into the eyes of another and feel this connection that bridges everything, that travels back to the day you were born, and before that... that you KNOW is the connection you were born for, and that you were brought here to experience... THAT is what it is about. The submission is GREAT, but it is a PART of life, not ALL of it. Without love, where are we? |
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| Age: 19 |
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California |
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