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manga
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baldjeanfriede
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cuckoldirish
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Tenebrax
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mztresn0w
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PureAndNaive
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Kechsfallensword
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saddlsore
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I'm not likely to make the first contact on this website. My previous experiences in making first contact resulted in either no answer whatsoever, or disrespectful/angry emails. So I simply choose not to expose myself to such negativity, & stopped writing first. Every so often I will send an email when a profile strikes me a certain way, but that's the exception not a rule. So if you have manners & wish to get to know me, send me an email & we will see how it goes from there.
I won't be giving out my messenger info, phone number, or email address to strangers.
To get to know me, you must email me on this website first, (keep it CLEAN!), then if I decide you aren't some psycho, we can go from there. Asking for personal information from me in the first email will result in a delete & block, as will unsolicited nude photos. I don't accept random friend requests from strangers either, those on my friend list are people I know & have known for sometime.
I am a bisexual single mother of mixed heritage, (mostly Cherokee). I work full time & go to school full time. I am working on a double major, earning a Bachelor's degree each in Environmental Studies & in Sustainable Enterprise Management. I have been a professional photographer & makeup artist for 20 years now. I am very passionate, & I care deeply. This causes me to get my heartbroken sometimes, but even with the heartbreaks, I prefer to live with fire & passion rather than being cold & heartless. I've run across so many cold & heartless people who are willing to play games with others that sometimes I get discouraged & burned out, but I always bounce back. Sometimes it just takes longer than others. I will write more as the mood strikes me, but for now, I figure this at least is the beginning of getting back to me. :)
My photos are in order from newest to oldest, except the tattoo shots & the paddle (which was custom made for me by tessllynn).
Side note: Yes, I'm a photographer & makeup artist, which means that I do photography, makeovers, & image consulting, regardless of gender. Email me on this site for options & pricing.
Treat everyday like it's your last, you never know, it might just be. Tell the ones you love that you love them everyday... it might be the last chance you get.
Remember, every person that comes into your life is a Reason, Season or Lifetime. Do not regret the loss of your Reasons or Seasons but be glad that you had those moments with them. Rejoice with your Lifetimes that they have stayed the course. (the full poem I am referring to is listed in my journal)
A bit about me: I am a sensualist at heart... I receive pleasure by being surrounded by pleasure & by filling my senses with stimulation. I am not really into pain for the sake of pain, but if pain makes my partner moan in pleasure, then I will induce pain... with pleasure.
For right now, I would like to make some new friends, & if anything develops from it then so be it. One thing I have learned is that if the relationship does not start with friendship, it always ends badly. Those relationship I've had where we started as friends, those people are still my friends; with only a few exceptions. I personally feel that even if you have & then end a romantic relationship with a friend, if you were really friends, you can still remain friends afterwards.
I smile a lot, so you won't find photos of me looking angry, or looking down at someone, that's not who I am. This may not fit what some people consider "dominant behavior" but it is who I am. I couldn't care less what others think of me, I know who I am &d I know my worth. However, pick on someone I care about & I will become your worst nightmare. I'm fiercely protective of those I call my own, whether my family, my friends, or my submissives. I believe that family is who you choose, not necessarily who you're related to.
What I am looking for changes, based on chemistry with a person. Someone who might not turn my head originally can become very attractive to me with chemistry & conversation. The ability to turn on my mind is something I place high value on. I prize loyalty & honesty above all else. I've been through more than my fair share of dishonest & disloyal subs. I firmly believe that in order for a relationship to work, (whether vanilla or BDSM), the partners must be honest with one another, & willing to communicate openly. I am open-minded & non-judgmental. I will give most everyone a chance if they are polite & there is some sort of match up of interests.
I can tell you for certain what I am NOT looking for: I don't want a sub w/ low self esteem, if you don't value yourself, what kind of gift is your submission to me? I don't want someone who can only carry on conversation about sex & BDSM; if you have nothing else to talk about, then there's no point in us talking at all. I don't want an online sub or someone who is not local to me, I've tried long distance relationships & they don't work for me. I don't want someone who is married &/or currently in a relationship w/ anyone else. I don't want someone who has any sort of drug addiction. I don't want someone who is just looking to have a laundry list of fetishes fulfilled. I'm not looking for a live in sub at this point. The sub for me should have a job, a place to live, & a way to get around. I don't want someone who demands all of my time, but who understand that I have a child at home, work full time, & go to school full time. I will devote time to the right person, but it will be a portion of my time, not all of it.
Know this: If you act cheap whore, everyone will treat you like a cheap whore & no one will think that you are worth much as a person. This includes not just the words in your profile, but your photos, & how you allow people to treat you as well. Show some self-respect, and you will attract the attention of a much higher quality potential partner. Don't blame others for treating you badly, when you don't treat yourself properly.
HARD Limits: no breath play, no minors (under 18 or pretending to be under 18), no animals (bestiality), no scat (feces), no roman (vomit), no waste products of any kind, no dead things, no dismemberment, no permanent injuries, no scarification, no cybering, nothing illegal, no illegal drugs, & no STDs. As I try new things, I am sure this list will grow. These are hard limits for a reason and they will not be pushed, bent, or broken in any manner.
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With the loss of my son, I no longer feel the drive to even look anymore. I don't know when, if ever, I will be actively looking again. So for all those that have messaged me, do not expect an answer. I just don't have the heart to even try at this anymore. |
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Life has been very hectic... between school and work and life in general I may not get messages answered in a timely manner. However, that does not warrant rudeness because a particular message did not get answered instantly. Rudeness will just get all your messages deleted and unanswered. |
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Miss Crusin' 7th Pageant this weekend!!!
It's going to be great fun, lots of friends & I are going to watch a fabulous drag show, can't wait. :)
everyone should go :P |
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We got the house... so we are moving on Black Friday... woohoo! |
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Here's a funny phenomenon I see online, & it is done by both "Dominants" & "submissives/slaves."
Offline, if you meet someone at a social gathering that attracts you, you start a conversation up. If it happens that you don't click, you just walk away & find someone else to talk to.
Online though, if you talk to someone & they aren't exactly what you expect or there's just no chemistry, for some reason they are suddenly fake, of the opposite gender, a scammer, etc...
Why is that?
I mean honestly people, yes there are lots of fakes out there, I know this, but look at your reasons before calling someone fake... just because someone is not attracted to you doesn't mean they are fake or lying about their gender. It just means they aren't attracted to you... deal with it... move on already.
To then continually harass that same person that you accuse of being fake is just a waste of everyone's time. You could be out there finding your match but instead you are wasting time harassing someone because they weren't interested in you. News flash: harassing them is going to make them LESS interested in you, not more.
No matter if you call yourself a dominant or a submissive or whatever... this behavior is not acceptable in any setting online or offline. Suck it up, quit your bitching and move on... |
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The following is something that I have potential subs read to help them identify what they are looking for... I firmly believe that the sub & Dominant both need to know what type of D/s relationship they seek. I've been asked to share this several times so I am putting it here in my journals. I did not write this, but found it online several years ago, & I feel it still applies. The key to this is of course that everyone is honest about what they seek.
The Nine Degrees of Submission
The outright non-submissive masochist or kinky sensualist
Not into servitude, humiliation or giving up of control; just pain and/or spiced-up sensuality, on the masochist's own terms for the masochist's own pleasure (ie: being turned on solely or mainly by one's own bodily sensations, rather than being turned on by being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism).
Pseudo-submissive non-slave
Not into even playing "slave", but into other "submissive" role-playing, e.g.: schoolteacher scenes, infantilism, "forced" transvestitism. Usually into humiliation, but NOT into servitude, even in play. Dictates the scene to a large degree.
Pseudo-submissive PLAY slave
Likes to play at being slave. Likes to *feel* subservient; may in some cases like to *feel* that one is being "used" to gratify one's partner's sadism; and may even really serve the dominant in some ways, but only on the "slave's" own terms. Dictates the scene to a large degree; often fetishistic (e.g. foot worshippers).
True submissive non-slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily and within agreed upon limits), but gets his/her main satisfaction from aspects of submission *other than* serving or being used by the dominant. Usually turned on by suspense, vulnerability, and/or giving up of responsibility. Doesn't dictate the scene except in very general terms, but still seeks mainly her/his own *direct* pleasure (rather than getting one's pleasure mainly from pleasing the dominant).
True submissive PLAY slave
Really gives up control (though only temporarily; only during brief "scenes" and within limits) and gets his/her main satisfaction from serving and being used by the dominant - but only for FUN purposes, usually erotic. (May or may not be into pain, but if so, is turned on by pain *indirectly*, ie: enjoys being the objects of one's partner's sadism, on which the submissive places few requirements or restrictions.)
Uncommitted short-term but more-than-play semi-slave
Really gives up control (though usually within limits); wants to serve and be used by the dominant; wants to provide practical/non-erotic as well as fun/ erotic services; but only when the "slave" is in the mood. May even act as a full-time slave for, say, several days at a time, but is free to quit at any time (or at the end of the agreed upon several days). May or may not have a long-term relationship with one's Mistress/Master, but, either way, the "slave" has the final say over when he or she will serve.
Part-time consensual but REAL slave
Has ongoing commitment to an owner/slave relationship, and regards oneself as the Mistress'/Master's "property" at all times. Wants to obey and please her/him in all aspects of life - practical/non-erotic as well as fun/erotic. Devotes most of one's time to other commitments (eg: job) but the Mistress/Master has first pick of the slave's free time.
Full-time live-in consensual slave
Within no more than a few broad limits/requirements, the slave regards herself/ himself as existing solely for the Mistress'/Master's use, pleasure and well- being. The slave in turn expects to be regarded as a prized possession. Not much different from the situation of the traditional housewife, except that within the S/M world the slave's position is more likely to be fully consensual, especially if the slave is male (since men certainly aren't socially pressured into this kind of lifestyle). Within the S/M world, a full-time "slave" arrangement is entered into with an explicit awareness of the magnitude of power that is being given up, and hence is usually entered into much more carefully, with more awareness of the possible dangers, and with much clearer and more specific agreements than usually precede the traditional marriage.
Consensual total slave with no limits
A common fantasy ideal which probably doesn't exist in real life (except in authoritarian religious cults and other situations where the "consent" is induced by brainwashing and/or social or economic pressures, and hence isn't fully consensual). A few S/M purists will insist that you aren't really a slave unless you're willing to do absolutely *anything* for your Mistress/ Master, with no limits at all. There are a few who claim to be no-limits slaves, but in all cases it would be reasonable to doubt the claim. |
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Though at times I wish I could un-learn some of the knowledge I have gained recently... I can say this... that same knowledge that I never wanted, makes moving on so much easier...
Ah life... always full of surprises :) |
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Well, I learned a new lesson today... don't be so nice to people.
Someone (a cm member), arranged to do a photo shoot & makeover with me, & started emailing me questions under the pretense of getting ready for it. So today (just a few days before the shoot), I get an email that they've gotten someone else to do it for them. So all the questions were just to steal my ideas & give them to someone else. I get the feeling that they planned to do this the whole time.
Well THAT won't happen again. If someone want's me to do a makeover &/or photos, they will not be getting any ideas from me until its time for the shoot. Sorry for those of you who are honest people, but its the only way to protect myself. At least I know that no matter what ideas I gave, they won't have the visual in my head because its too difficult for me to describe my art in words. So they may have a bad copy, but they will never have my art. I find the whole situation ridiculous though. Thankfully I only gave out a few very brief ideas not whole concepts, or even close to the number of ideas I had for the shoot. I was rather busy when answering the emails, thankfully.
I am a professional photographer, makeup artist, & image consultant. I am also one of the few around who is completely friendly to all genders. If I was a professional chef, would you expect to get free food/recipes? If I was a professional mechanic would you expect to have your car repaired for free? If I was a professional tax accountant, would you expect me to do your taxes for free? No, you would not (well, not if you were a decent human being anyway). Nor would you do whatever it is you do for a living for free for just anyone... maybe people close to you, but not just anyone.
Just because I am an artist, does not mean I will work for free. I have bills just like everyone else, just like you. Please don't ask me to work for free & I won't ask you to do it either.
The whole situation is just a commentary on how low people are willing to go... but I learn my lessons well, & it will not happen again.
p.s. This does not affect the fact that I do sometimes barter & trade, because that in itself is a form of payment exchange. However, I had to make sure I covered this topic after today's experience with a low life.
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Finally went out and had some fun... the sadness is lifting. Took my god-daughter out to a drag show to celebrate her 21st birthday... had lots of fun, saw people I haven't seen in ages. It was great to get back into being social again.
Best part: seeing the ex "the doctah" looking way worse than he ever looked when he was with me... LOL. |
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Some great quotes :)
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose." - Steve Jobs, 2005~
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. Stay hungry. Stay foolish."~
"Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on." --Steve Jobs~
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." -Judy Garland~
"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe~ |
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We cannot know what the future has in store for us. No matter what you plan, it can all change in the blink of an eye. Appreciate those you love and make sure they know that you love them. Say all the things you meant to say before its too late. |
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I guess it just wasn't meant to be... life has a way of changing on you... all your plans for the future get thrown out the window by one single event... making you wonder if you have any future at all. |
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People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
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Everything is just so confusing right now... I've never felt so many opposing things at one time... it's exhausting. |
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I will get past this heartbreak. It will just take time. It was out of the blue & completely unexpected. I think it is the shock of it that is making it so difficult right now. Just wish I knew why everything happened the way it did. Not knowing makes closure difficult. I will get past the pain though, it just takes time. |
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well I re-did my photos... the first one is the paddle made for me by my friend tessllynn, the next few are of me and they are in the order of most recent to oldest... then the photos of my ink.
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Jeez... 10 emails in as many minutes of subs looking for my consideration... even tho my profile states that I am monogamous with my monkey man... so updated the profile for those who didn't quite get the message... |
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So, between school, work, family, my new boy, & everything else, life has been pretty hectic, but life is good, and that's the important part. I am still very happy with my monkey man.
For all those friends needing updates... sorry I haven't had time to converse, but such is life right now. I will be in school for the next couple years so I doubt I will be sending out messages much. I answer emails when I can, but I know I haven't been on time on those either. So if you don't hear from me immediately, don't take it personal, & please don't email me angry or upset, because I just don't have time in my life for that kind of needless drama. I have a 15 yr old daughter, I have enough drama for one lifetime, lol. My real friends will understand that this is just how life is sometimes, & not act like children throwing fits because I am not spending all my time talking online. |
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I added a pic of my boy, all snuggled up in bed, sleeping peacefully... |
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the boy belongs in my world more than he knows... |
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I am curious to see how this one will work out... I remain hopeful :) |
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New photo: "additional photo 6" or the 7th photo, however you count it, lol... taken on Friday 15 July 2011 @ Rockstar Mayhem Concert Festival in Phoenix, AZ... got to see Megadeath, Godsmack, and Disturbed all in one night! too much fun! lol |
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ok new photo: the 4th photo or extra photo #3, depending on how you look at it... New hair cut 25 June 2011... had it blown and ironed straight for the day... and the blond will be disappearing as soon as I have a chance to color it again (its the grow out from the rainbow hair, lol) |
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I start school a week from tomorrow!!! The combination of excitement & nausea is overwhelming... lol |
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A warning for all my local submissive/slave friends: There is a predator couple calling themselves dominants here on this site. They live in Casa Grande, & he is very tall. They have already abused, & attempted to blackmail a submissive friend of mine. If you want details let me know. I have their screen name, his real name & contact information, copies of their text conversations that took place in my presence, & I have read all their correspondence on collarme. I hate the fact that people use BDSM as an excuse to abuse and bully people.
My friend decided that it was not a good match up, (she got to know them online then met them in person before making her decision). So they began threatening her, including threatening to send photos that she previously sent them, to every accounting firm in her city because they know that she works for an accounting firm but don't know which one. They have threatened to come to her house, telling her they found out where she lives as part of the threat. They are currently threatening to create a website of her photos, in order to blackmail her into having sex with them. Apparently he has LOTS of free time since he is home on disability...
All this because she politely told them it wasn't a good match & wished them luck in their search. Their "reasoning" is that she "promised" to be their sex slave (I've seen the correspondence & she only agreed to meet & see how it went). My favorite part is that they said she is not allowed to break it off or ever say no to them. They continually message her telling her what a horrible slave and what a whore she is. Their information is being handed over to the police, but if I can make sure another friend or even a stranger does not go through this again I will have done some good.
They've even posted in their journal how slaves don't get to make the rules or break things off... referring to her refusal to even answer the threatening emails (on my advice, since its obvious they are not Dominants but instead abusers/bullies)... wow, it's amazing how desperate some people can be.
Be warned... don't be fooled by this couple.
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here is my profile which I removed on 06/15/2011 in order to make some changes to fit the direction my life is going in right now:
you may address Me as Miss Faeries, Stolen, or SBF.
~
Note: I'm not on this site to "friend collect" people I never speak to. Everyone on my friend list is someone I talked to & THEN became friends with.
I won't be giving out my messenger info, phone number, or email address to strangers. To get to know me, you must email me on this website first, (keep it CLEAN!), then if I decide you aren't some psycho, we can go from there. Asking for that information from me in the first email will result in a delete & block, as will unsolicited nude photos.
What I'm looking for is simple, at least to me, but surprisingly difficult to locate I've discovered. I want someone whose weirdness matches up with my weirdness in a compatible manner.
I'm bisexual so there's no preconception about the gender of the person I seek. I want someone who is confident & who knows their own self worth. I'm not looking for someone who feels they are unworthy. For me, submission is best given from someone who has the most to give. Value yourself & I will value you. If a person doesn't value themselves, then what they give is worthless to me. I feel that BDSM is a relationship, even when its not sexual, I do not believe it is an excuse to abuse others.
I'm strong willed, & I need someone thick skinned. I'm a very happy person for the most part, but like everyone, there are bad days. I need someone who understands that I am human, & not perfect, even if I am pretty damn close, LOL.
If you assume that because I'm plus-sized that I must not be active, don't control myself, don't enjoy physical activities, &/or that I don't eat properly, it is your misconception & very much your loss. Assumption is just a sign of your fear.
I like to joke around & have fun. I'm very free spirited, so I don't feel someone overly serious would be a good match for me. I've found that my free spirit often attracts those serious types at the beginning, but then over time, it also repels them because they can't handle that this is who I am all the time.
I also love to be pampered. That may include things as simple as preparing a drink for me at the end of a long day, or giving me a massage, or simply knowing that I need some quiet time & sharing that with me. So, service orientation is a requirement.
I like a variety of things, sometimes I go out to a club, others I stay in & watch a movie, go to a friend's home for a party, or just play in the dirt making a garden, & there are black tie events that I attend. So, the submissive for me needs to be adaptable, & presentable, in all of those environments, whether they are BDSM related or just plain everyday vanilla things. I do not want or expect someone to be "in scene" constantly, its far too exhausting.
I also do volunteer work when I can, so the sub for me should enjoy that as well, to receive optimal time with me.
Loyalty & Honesty above all else!
I expect 100% honesty, 100% of the time, even if you think what you say will anger or hurt me. Lie to me even once & you will be cast out from my presence. I will never forgive one that lies to me, ever. If you think this is too harsh, then clearly, you are not a match for me.
I'm NOT looking for a live in. The sub for me will have their own residence, their own income, & pay their own bills. I'm a very independent woman. I need someone who does not demand all of my time. I'm a single mother with a teen daughter so I don't have a ton of free time to give. However, the time I dedicate to my subs is truly special to me.
I am a sexual person but BDSM is not just about sex for me. I can, & have, had both sexual & non-sexual submissives. I'm not against either polyamory or monogamy. I find that every situation is different. Given my hectic life and schedule, I have to be very flexible about things, so should anyone wishing to be my sub.
I am open-minded & non-judgmental. I will give most everyone a chance if they are polite & there is some sort of match up of interests. I smile a lot, so you won't find photos of me looking angry, or looking down at someone, that's not who I am. This may not fit what some people consider "dominant behavior" but it is who I am.
I am not likely to make the first contact on this website, simply because of past experiences. My previous experience in making first contact resulted in either no answer whatsoever, or disrespectful/angry emails. So I simply choose not to expose myself to such behavior, & stopped writing first. Every so often I will send an email when a profile strikes me a certain way, but thats an exception not a rule. So if you have manners & wish to get to know me, send me an email & we will see how it goes from there.
Besides, "We should be woo'd and were not made to woo." Bonus points if you can tell me where the quote comes from and who said it.
I couldn't care less what others think of me, I know who I am and I know my worth. However, pick on someone I care about & I will become your worst nightmare. I'm fiercely protective of those I call my own, whether friends, family, or submissives. I believe that family is who you choose, not necessarily who you're related to.
I've been a professional photographer since I was 19. It is my art, my passion, & I love it. I've been published a few times in various publications both as a photographer & as a model, but the publication is not important to me, the art is. Before I became a parent, I traveled for shoots to wonderful locations; however, having a child changes your priorities, & so it did mine. Since then I've worked in various environments, but I don't like being told how to do my art, which is the case whenever you work for someone else. Now I mainly just stick to freelance work & occasional weddings for the fun of it. I mention this because I hope it helps explain my artistic nature, I can find beauty in most things, and I need someone who can appreciate that rather than be skeptical or critical.
My interests vary greatly, because I am ever changing & evolving, so making a list on this profile wouldn't really work since it may be different tomorrow. LOL. I've checked some of the interests available on this site, but this is not all inclusive, & it may be that there is something I am curious about then I try and decide I do not like it. I will try to keep the list updated, if I remember to. (weg)
This is by no means everything there is to know about me, but I feel there is enough here to allow another person to decide if they want to get to know more about me. If you seek my consideration, send a well written email and non-nude, in-focus & current photos to me here on this site.
A quick side note though: if you have interests that are included in my hard limits, you have two choices: either give up that activity for me, or don't bother contacting me. This is not a judgment call, it simply is what it is, my hard limits are there for a reason, they will not be bent or pushed.
LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH!!!
If you want to see more of what I look for, check out my old profile in my journal entry from 10/20/2009.
NOTE: THIS IS IN CAPS SO THERE IS NO MISTAKE: I DO NOT DO ONLINE OR CAM DOMINATION, & I AM ONLY INTERESTED IN THOSE WHO ARE CLOSE ENOUGH TO MY PHYSICAL LOCATION THAT THEY CAN DEVOTE TIME TO ME IN PERSON.
HARD Limits: no breath play, no minors (under 18 / or pretending to be under 18), no animals (bestiality), no scat (feces), no roman (vomit), no waste of any kind, no dead things, no dismemberment, no permanent injuries, no scarification, no cybering, nothing illegal, no drugs, & no STDs. As I try new things, I am sure this list will grow. These are hard limits for a reason and they will not be pushed, bent, or broken in any manner.
Now the legal fine print... Since this seems to have become an issue on this site: WARNING: Any institutions, groups, or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects:You DO NOT have my permission to use any portion of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current & future. If you have previously used, intend to use, or from this point forward use, any portion of my profile or any of my photographs, it will be considered a violation of my privacy & will be subject to all legal ramifications both state and federal.
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I had a female friend ask me to help with her profile because she said she's meeting all the wrong type of people, ones just looking for hookups & not an actual bdsm relationship... so I took a look, the profile itself was written fairly well, stating what she was looking for; but the photos were something else... every shot was of her nude & only one actually showed her face & of course she was making that stupid "duck face" with peace sign fingers that seems to be so popular right now. I'll tell everyone else what I told her... if you treat yourself like a piece of meat on display by only showing sexual images, then that is exactly what you will get out of this site, losers looking for a quick fuck & nothing more... if you want to be treated respectfully, don't treat yourself like a piece of flesh for the taking. It's one thing to be a slut for your master/mistress, its another to be one for the rest of the world. The former being one held dear, the later being one treated like garbage. |
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I think I am at the point of being done... too many flakes, I've yet to find one "sub" that will actually meet for the first meeting.
So I have to ask all these flaky subs: Why in the world are you on this site with a profile saying you want a real Domme when you have no intention of ever getting off your computer and meeting said Domme. What's the point? If you are just online to get your rocks off online, then say so... there's nothing wrong with honesty, and there are plenty of people looking for online only... but to pretend that you want something in real life, when by your actions you clearly do not, well its just a waste of everyone's time now isn't it? |
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I asked a friend why they thought that so many subs seem to flake out just before the first in-person meeting... the friend couldn't really give me an answer, other than fear perhaps... I just don't get it... If the sub doesn't want to meet, why not just say so, instead of flaking over something ridiculous that is so obviously not the real reason... just say "hey, changed my mind about meeting"... it's really not that big of a deal if the sub is honest about it... |
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A late night rant: what is this thought that seems so prevalent on this site... why does anyone think that an extreme close up of their ass is somehow attractive? honestly, do the people who post those really think anyone finds a close up of an ass attractive at all? Even when it's a nice ass, its still not attractive in the extreme close up... I have asked other Dominants about this and I can't find one who thinks that photo is attractive whatsoever, in fact most see it as a turn-off... so WHY do so many subs have them posted? I am curious... |
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Saturday April 16, 2011... PRIDE!!! come out and buy a drink for a good cause... I will be volunteering at the Arizona Progress booth (near the main stage) from 2-4pm, maybe a bit later depending on the day... buy your drink tickets then come on by & say hello! :)
Pride is at 3rd Street and Indian School in downtown Phoenix! Parade starts at 11am and festival starts at noon :) |
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rainbow hair got updated! put in some brighter tones. LOVE it!!! |
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If she's amazing, she won't be easy.
If she's easy, she won't be amazing.
If she's worth it, you won't give up.
If you give up, you're not worthy. |
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Religion is like a penis: It's fine to have one; it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out and public and start waving it around, and please don't try to shove it down my children's throats |
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bwhahahahaha, I have rainbow hair!!! yay! additional photo 2 or the 3rd photo... |
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new photo up of a toy that was made for me (photo #9, which is technically the 10th photo, lol)... its going to leave quite an impression... bwahahahahahaa! |
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new photo up, hair wet and no makeup on, but it's me :) |
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For those seeking my consideration, pay attention:
you need to read my profile completely
When you send a first email, you need to include photos (NOT NUDES) of yourself and tell me about yourself, not just your bdsm desires...
Those emails that include nudes or a list of what your fetishes/desires are will simply be deleted. I have tried to remain polite but this is ridiculous. |
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Shhh, can you hear that? somewhere, a baboon is scratching his ass... |
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almost time for the move... barely online... packing like a mad fiend... can't wait to get into the new place, so excited! |
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ok here is a Saturday morning rant:
What ever happened to common courtesy?
OK, we all know life happens, cars break down, you get called into work, kids get sick, etc... BUT when that happens, common courtesy dictates that you contact anyone that you had plans with and let them know what is going on, not leave them hanging.
I personally call anyone I have plans with if I need to make changes, or even if I am simply stuck in traffic. I am also very understanding of anyone who uses common courtesy to inform me of any changes they need to make.
What I am completely intolerant of however, is complete lack of common courtesy and communication. I have much better things to do than wait around for people. I take the time to confirm every meeting I have. I make sure that I communicate.
So why is it these submissives who are seeking my attention, (and have been begging to meet me), think that it is acceptable to not communicate and leave me sitting waiting. It is completely unacceptable! If you cannot have any common courtesy then don't waste my time.
From now on when I make an appointment to meet someone, if they are not there on time, after 5 minutes I am leaving unless I received a call and there is an incredibly good reason for the tardy. I try to be nice to people and they act completely rude, so no more. If you don't think this is fair, then move along, I don't have time for you.
OK, rant is over, you can return to your regularly scheduled programming. {weg} |
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ok, here's a rant:
What is up with people being unable to spell basic words? Seriously, the emails I have seen lately look like a foul mouthed 3rd grader wrote them.
What would motivate me to answer such an email? absolutely nothing, that's what.
If you want MY attention, then stand out from the crowd in a good way, use proper manners and common courtesy, and show some intelligence. I've taken the time to write about what I seek and who I am, please take the time to read it and approach me appropriately. |
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Toy party on the 14th. yay! |
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So, I signed up for school today. I am officially a student again. I will be going to my Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Science. :) |
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My baby girl started high school this morning... nothing like your kids to make you feel suddenly very old. LOL
I don't really feel old on a normal basis but today I felt it. |
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Made some adjustments to the profile. Should make things a little bit clearer. It's a constant work in progress though. Kinda like me...  |
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OK, here is the funniest thing I have seen in a while. I received a message from someone I've never spoken to before, it simply gave the number 2. I replied that I had no idea what this message meant. He replied with that it was the "OFFICIAL collarme rating" on my looks alone. And then he blocked me. LMAO
One, in what part of my profile does it indicate that I CARE what anyone's opinion of me is and Two, does collarme know this guy says he is representing the site? HAHAH I mean honestly, what kind of loser goes around sending insulting messages to people he doesn't know just to tell them he doesn't like the way they look?
Get a life buddy, cause I am out living mine. oh and thanx for the laugh. LMAO |
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Here is my view on those that take the time to write hate mail to you, simply because they don't like your profile...
The only reason for someone to throw hate at you is because they are jealous of you.
The only reason for someone to be jealous of you is because they want to be just like you.
So just ignore those people, they already know they can never measure up to you.
Truth is simple. |
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Did something theraputic this morning: I found every email exchange btwen myself & the doctah on all my email accounts (there were over 600+ on each), & I deleted them all.
Then just to make sure I didnt get all sappy & reminiscent, I emptied the trash box on both. permanently deleting almost a year & half of memories. On one hand I am sad, sad that it ended this way. On the other hand, better now than farther down the road. Overall, it was a good thing, keeps me from going & looking back @ the emails & being sad. Its almost as theraputic as burning them, but I didnt want to waste my paper & ink to print all those. :)
It hurts, but its cleansing. it needed to be done. This was the longest relationship since my marriage (that was 10 years of being miserable), so its going to take some time to heal. |
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I have an idea for some furniture but I need to speak to someone who can interpret my idea into reality. Anyone out there good with designing and building furniture that functions not only for BDSM but also everyday? |
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I'm not actively seeking anyone at this point due to my last relationship having ended very recently & leaving me broken hearted. Like everyone that ends a long term relaionship, I need time to heal my heart. That being said, I'm not going to let that stop me from finding the rare jewel that I know is out there somewhere.
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ok, so I finally got around to writing the new profile, so here it is. For those of you who have been harassing me about writing it, well you better read it. LOL
07/10/2010 ok I went back and read my profile after sleeping. Made some changes, corrected some grammatical errors and some typos. I am pretty happy with it now. :) |
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ok so my arm has been bugging me and today it got really bad so I went in to have it checked... apparently I have tennis elbow... I said I don't even play tennis (lol)... which sucks, have to wear icy hot patches and an elbow brace and support my elbow while I am working, blah blah blah.... oh happy happy joy joy... as you may have been able to deduce, I make a miserable patient... lol |
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So, things were in a bit of a state of limbo with the doctah, but now as of this moment, it is all officially over, even the friendship. It makes me sad but life is what it is, and at least I know now and can move on.
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New photo: this one is from July 03, 2010. We went to see the closing performance of Evil Dead the Musical, and got drenched in blood... after the show we went out to the piano bar where the cast hangs out. The bathrooms at this place have black light, so of course we had to take photos of us covered in blood under black light. LOL. The very next photo is a full color shot right after the show (I blocked out my friends of course, lol). I got so soaked I had to wring out my top to stop dripping blood, left a puddle too. LOL |
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I've noticed some interesting things on collarme... I wonder if anyone else sees these things and wonders "what were they thinking?" like I do. These are not specific to any one or two people, otherwise I would just chaulk it up to idiots, these two examples actually are repeated on an almost daily basis in my inbox, same basic message, lots of different senders... Does anyone actually fall for these games?
Example 1: sub male with a profile with several notes in the profile and journals from a Domme who is supposedly mentoring said sub, yet, when asked for contact with this Domme, the only contact that can be provided is email, not phone... and the excuse given was that the Domme did not want to have interaction with any Dommes looking at this sub, yet in the profile the Domme is mentoring and protecting this sub and wants to make sure he goes to a good home. So I wonder who would decide to mentor and protect someone then decide they dont want to speak to the person considering their protectee? If I was protecting someone I would want to be completly involved to make sure that protectee did not get hurt. Smells kinda fishy if you ask me
Example 2: male Dom who has decided to try out his sub side, yet his profile is all about how women need to know their place and he refers to women as cum sluts, etc. Now why on earth would I believe that he actually wants to submit when he so publicly advertises his attitude towards women? Then when I state this to him, he becomes hostile and insulting... wow, I was right, go figure. LOL
Example 3: "lesbians" whether Dom or sub/slave who only want contact via email or messenger, no phone or live contact, and yet they want sexual photos and sexual conversation... gee I wonder if these are pervy boys trying to fool women into sending dirty pix and doing dirty chats? hmmm LMAO
The fact that these types run rampant on the site is really amusing to me, maybe it's my sick sense of humor, but I have to wonder how long they have been at it without success, and if they had any success, how short lived it was... but anyway, ok, done with my little rant for the evening.
Have a great night everyone! :) |
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ok, I try to be polite & answer the emails I get but I have reached the end of my patience, so here goes...
If you have any of the following, I will not be answering your message. I will delete the message and I will more than likely block you. If for some reason I forget to block you, don't think you have hope, it just means that the blocking slipped my mind while I was checking email.
So here is the list:
1) you have genital/crotch photos (or other extreme close ups of various body parts) anywhere on your profile for everyone in the world to see, it doesn't matter if your face is blocked, if you put it out there for the world then it's nothing special, and I only select the most valuable of companions.
2) you send me nude or genital photos of yourself that I did not request, I find this behavior to be similar to someone trying to grab my butt in a bar, which is a total lack of respect for me, and you most certainly cannot be submissive to me if you do not respect me.
3) you offer to submit to me in your first email, this implies that you think I have no standards or that you have no interest in actually getting to know me. Would you just walk up to a woman standing in a coffee shop and throw yourself to the ground in submission? I think not.
4) you send me your personal contact information such as personal email, messenger, phone, etc on the very first email contact, this tells me that you are a desperate creature who would submit to just anyone. I do not want a companion that would submit to just anyone, I want someone who will submit to me and ONLY me because of who I am to them, not because of what I look like in photos or because I choose to label myself as Dominant.
5) you speak about yourself as if you were a lower being, if you feel that way about yourself, how can you expect me to find any value in you. This includes people who refer to themself in the 3rd person. Is this how you talk when you meet people in real life?
6) your emails are of a sexual nature or about what you can do for me sexually. Getting sex is not an issue for me. BDSM is NOT just about sex. Also reference #2 on this list, if you are disrespectful to me, you have no intention of submitting to me.
7) you are in anyway disrespectful in your email, I give other human beings respect until they show me they are unworthy of it. I expect the same out of you.
8) your profile is loaded with nude photos/sexually charged fantasy art and your profile is simply a list of sexual &/or bdsm desires without barely a mention of the type of person you are. BDSM is NOT just kinky sex for me, so the person who writes this type of profile will not be a match for me.
If you have no self-respect, why should I take on the responsibility of dominating you?
Good rule of thumb for those interested in me, talk to me as if you are meeting me in real life, not on a BDSM website, and you will get much farther. Would you speak this way to someone you met at a party/coffee shop/grocery store/club/etc?
That should do for now, I am sure I will end up adding to the list... random idiocy seems to be contagious on this site.
For everyone else: I try to respond politely to all the messages I get... however, if I politely decline you because I see nothing of interest or in common with you, that does not make me a fake, it actually means I am quite real and very choosy. I wouldn't just take anyone home from a bar, why would I do it on this site? |
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FYI: For those of you that have on your profile a photo of your naked butt, your naked crotch, &/or your naked breasts... (for that matter a crotch &/or butt shot at all, even clothed)...
I have ZERO interest in you. By putting your junk out there for everyone, you have made yourself cheap and worthless in my eyes. I desire something special that is not out there for anyone and everyone, so just let's not waste your time or mine with you trying to convince me otherwise. If you are willing to share it with everyone, you are not what I seek in any form.
This applies to all genders.
It is impossible for me get get involved with someone I do not respect. If I dominate someone I don't respect, then it's just abuse in my book, so I don't do it. If you are not respectable in both words & actions, then you are really not for me. Likewise, if you do not respect yourself, how can you expect anyone else to. |
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OK, so I felt the need to write after aimlessly scrolling through profiles when I was bored.
A lot of people complain about other people's profiles on this site. However, people would be happier if they keep this in mind:
1) not everyone is going to match what you are looking for, this doesn't make them bad, fake, players, or otherwise, it just means they aren't a match for you.
2) if all you do in your profile is complain about others, how do you expect anyone to get past the negativity and want to get to know you?
3) just because you don't like someone's approach to bdsm, or the way they built their profile, does not mean that someone else doesn't love it.
4) if you take the time to personally insult people because of their profiles, then in reality you are giving them control with all your focus on them, if you don't like it, hide it or block it, but taking the time to post about it just means you really want their attention and can think of no other way to get it.
5) there is good and bad in everything, no matter what the orientation or sex, so don't make assumptions like "all dominants" or "all submissives" or whatever... because we all know that isn't the case.
We have all had both good and bad experiences, the bad hurts so of course it stays in the front of our memory, but don't forget about the good, and don't become so jaded that you miss out on great opportunities.
Ok, jumping off the soapbox now.
Have a great day! :) |
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If you get a chance you MUST see "Evil Dead the Musical" it is FABULOUS!!! OMG we had sooo much fun, wore white dresses and sat in the front row, got completly splashed with blood and were quite a hit with the cast... lol |
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New photo, took it at work on 06/11/2010 shows the new hair color and cut... cut off quite a bit of length for the summer but its still long in the back... layers work great in the Arizona heat... lol. |
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Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs' is weak enough to be restrained. |
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Things are looking up up up!!! Now so many places to go and people to do... heheh |
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I added a pic of my dragon Ruth. It's the last photo on my profile. :) |
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You know what's amazing? People who claim to be polite well mannered subs who are just rude pricks. If I take the time to write an email, how difficult is it to simply write back that you are not interested. I do not take insult that someone is not interested (everyone has varying tastes) but it is basic common courtesy to at least acknowledge the email & let the person know one way or the other.
These same subs are the ones who complain that they can't find a Domme... I wonder why? hmmm. They even have the nerve to get upset when they find out that yes, we Domme's do talk to each other; and when you are rude, we tell other Domme's about it.
Common courtesy and basic manners are a requirement, not an option.
And no, I am not talking about a suggestive or sexual email. Just a simple hello, this is what I am interested in and based on your profile I think we have some common interests...
Anyway, ok done with my rant, but be warned subs/slaves/whatever: if you are rude to one Domme, believe me, the other Dommes will hear about it, we do talk and even socialize with each other. |
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well the police just called. they found the car, well, what's left of it. The entire car has been stripped, no engine no nothing left, its just a metal shell with seats... FML |
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My car was stolen from in front of my house last night! what the hell?!? |
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I now own a real live pet dragon! yay! |
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I have a friend fostering a dog. His name is King. He is pure rottie but not clipped. He needs a home. He is an alpha dog & protector. He is a true gentleman. very sweet. He is a large dog (currently 95lbs) and about 1yr old. He is fixed & chipped & immunized. He is adoptable thru an agency that willl do a background check for all adoptions. If interested, please email me and I will send you photo and the phone number to call. |
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ok I have seen this on enough profiles that it makes me want to post a journal.
Please understand the terms you are using.
sa·dism–noun
1. Psychiatry. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.
by comparison:
masochism–noun
1. Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3. the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
If you call yourself "sadistic" then go on to talk about how you like to get whipped, etc, you are using the WRONG term. If you call yourself masochistic and talk about how much you like to spank someone, you are using the WRONG term. C'mon, it's really not that difficult. If you like both (which is totally ok too), then say so, but seriously, you sound completely uneducated and inexperienced when you use the wrong terminology. |
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PRIDE!!!
Phoenix Pride ROCKS!!! |
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ok back to work & swamped... I need a personal servant/domestic around here... it's just too chaotic to keep it all going without help right now.
looking for a temporary helper, with possibility of long term - someone to come over in the evenings &/or on the weekends and help around the house with chores and handyman stuff:
~have your own transportation & phone
~must be able to do around the house stuff, cleaning, dusting, other basic chores ~basic handy man skills also would be great
~must be live in the Phoenix Metro area
~this is NOT a live in arrangement
~MUST be discreet as I have a young underage daughter @ home (this means NO nudity/inappropriate clothing while she is @ home)
~females, trans, cds, or males are welcome to apply for this position
I prefer a very tidy house but I've just been too busy with work and other activities, so when I get home I really don't have the energy to do the chores...
no drama, I haven't the time, & no fakes, I can spot one a mile away.
To apply: email me your qualifications & why you are interested in this position, along with a full length (in focus) photograph.
I expect to meet first publicly, for an interview & one thing I look for is to make sure you actually sent a photograph of yourself. If you didn't the interview will be over & you will be turned away.
Above all else I value honesty and trustworthiness.
*Expect to have a background check as you will be entering my home & I have a family to protect. |
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well its been a tough week, I have bronchitis, ear infection, sinus infection and an infection in my throat causing laryngitis, been out of work all week with it... they have me on a bunch of meds... which just make me feel crappier... but hey, several people find amusement in the fact that for once I am completely silent, I have absolutely no voice. LOL |
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I GOT HIRED!!! YAY!!! SUPER HYPER NOW!!! |
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so here is the update on my day...
had an interview with a bank manager, about 30min into the interview she says "I think you would be better suited in one of our instore customer service centers" I said, ok, I am willing to start where ever. So she says I will let the recruiter know to have me interview with someone for the other position (I was originally contacted & phone interviewed by a recruiter for the bank). So I get home, a little bummed but hopeful, & decide well, I wouldn't really want to work for her given that attitude. The recruiter calls me "you know, I am not sure what's going on with her, you are way over qualified for that posistion she recommended & I know you would be great as a personal banker, so I am going to find you another branch" so she called back a few min later & told me to expect a call from another bank manager in a location that happens to be a short distance from the high school my daughter will be attending next yr... I have a feeling that this will be a much better fit.
2) Went to my interview with another company (28miles from home - yikes) & sat in the lobby for a bit because I was early. They have so much security it made me laugh. First show badge to security, then swipe badge & enter code into machine THEN finger print scan, just to get in... SAME process to LEAVE too! What is this the pentagon? LOL. so anyway, get back to my interview & he sits down & says, "I took a look at your resume, just so you know, I am hiring you, but I do have to ask some questions" (LOL) during the course of a few questions he tells me its a new call center full of new sales reps and just from my resume he says if he could clone me and have 20 of me he would be a very happy manager. LOL. so they give me all the info on benefits, and pending a background check (no worries there) I am hired. they are trying to get enough people hired to start a training class on Monday, if they don't however, training wont begin until December 28th (yuck). But they will let me know by Friday afternoon. So I've been hired, by a company thats not being shady, like a previous one was, and that pays well.
I am still holding hope for the bank since it will be a good steady income and the location is much better, but if the other company is where I need to be, so be it. :) |
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I am going to be writing a series of interviews to be published for the examiner. I will be interviewing politicians, business owners, entertainers, and regular citizens that are part of the LGBT community both in Phoenix and the rest of the world. I will also be interviewing willing family members of LGBT people. If you have any questions you would like to see addressed in any of these articles, PLEASE email me here on cm with the questions. I have so many people to interview, I am not sure I can come up with enough questions. LOL. so HELP! :)
By the way, if you would like to be interviewed, email me as well! |
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update: 2nd interview went really well, she said I will know for sure by Tuesday (Monday is really busy for them). Got home and in my email is a request for a phone interview from another company I applied at! woot! This is a MUCH better Friday than the last one! :) |
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Well, still looking, trying not to stress, busting my butt to find something soon. Some good suggestions from friends... hoping one of them pans out soon... *breathe in, breathe out* lol |
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nothing like a few hours of therapy to get rid of a bad day!!! why don't more people get therapy... HAHAHHAHA... & this doctah is great, no insurance paperwork... ROTFLMAO |
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sooooo not a happy camper... the new job let me go today, after yesterday when I had a review where they told me how great I was doing... today, no reason, just dont come back to work... they "decided not to continue my contract" whatever the hell that means... basically to me it means I need to go pound the pavement so I probably will not be online all that much other than applying for jobs until I find something so I can make my house payment... wish me luck! :) |
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Been getting a lot done today. Finally sat down to work on my image consulting business... working on the basic business plan... class outline, etc... Right now it is going to be groups of 4-8 students and must be able to get to phoenix for the class. Probably won't actually start classes until February because I still have some things to get into place. To start this will mainly be for trans girls as that is the group that requested I start this business. Guess they like my suggestions. :) |
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I FINALLY decided just which programs I am going to study in school next year: Bachelor of Science in Environmental Science as well as a Bachelor of Science in Business with a Concentration in Green and Sustainable Enterprise Management... I will eventually move on to a Master of Business Administration with dual focus in Energy Management and Global Management... that's the plan anyway... |
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I HATE being sick... ugg! |
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I am in the process of rewriting my profile, so in the mean time, here is the one that I have had up for some time:
updated 11/15/2009, take a look & enjoy!
you may address Me as Miss Faeries, Stolen, or SBF.
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If you seek My consideration: click on "view full profile" & take the time to read what I took the time to write (including My journals). It is a lengthy read, I know. I am a complicated, free spirited individual, & you would do well to learn as much about Me as you can from My profile. :O)
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If you want to be on My friend list, I have to actually know you and converse with you for that to happen. I am not a "friend collector."
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If you are looking for friendship, feel free to email Me. I read & answer all My emails as long as they are not vulgar, abusive, or rude.
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I identify Myself as a Dominant.
I am a BBW, which means I am a Big Beautiful Woman, a Plus Sized Beauty, a Rubenesque Diva, & a Voluptuous Goddess. By any title I am still Me. Yes, that is My actual weight, I don't care if you know it. I do not lie, about anything. If you don't like it, too bad, so sad, get over yourself. I do not feel the need to take into account or regard anyone's opinions of Me. MY opinion of Me is the only opinion that carries any influence on Me. If you cannot deal with these Dangerous Curves, move along. 
Understand that I am a single Mother & that is My #1 priority ALWAYS, if you cannot deal with this aspect of My life, move along, & don't waste My time. I currently have a dog & two cats, but I've been known to have snakes, rodents, fish, spiders, etc, so if you do not like pets in the home, move along.
Throughout this profile, you will find little tidbits of information about Me.
If you are a sub seeking consideration with Me read My entire profile & My journals BEFORE contacting me because there are instructions for your first contact to be eligible for My consideration.
I am always open to BDSM friends whether Domme/Dom, switch, sub, slave or whatever you happen to identify as. Friends can be from anywhere around the world. I greatly enjoy the exchange of information, knowledge, experiences, ideas, & methods. I am willing learn from anyone, irregardless of how they identify, label, &/or classify themselves.
I try to learn a new thing every day.
I feel that when a person stops learning, that they stagnate. Stagnation is Death.
A lie of omission is still a lie. I would rather be called rude than be a liar.
I am a professional photographer & makeup artist, for over 19 years now. Yes, I do all sorts of shoots... including boudoir, & fetish (pretty much anything, so long as its legal). If you are wanting to arrange a shoot, please send Me a message that details what you are looking for & we can discuss.
Other than when I am sick &/or medicated, I cannot sleep more than 6hrs straight (My average is 4hrs). I've been this way since birth. I just wake up. LOL
As far as subs wishing to be in My service, I am open to having subs of any gender: female, male, or trans (ftm or mtf). your level of previous training &/or experience is not as important to Me as the eagerness to learn My ways.
I drink almost a gallon of water every day.
I prefer an exceptional sub who has more to give up than the "insta-sub" I see so often online, (this is the type that offers their submission to anyone & everyone online that happens to wear the Dominant title). The "insta-sub" types will just be ignored, deleted, & blocked.
The sub that attracts My attention will be the one that values themselves, & that possesses great confidence tempered with a good sense of self.
Good manners & excellent personal hygiene are a MUST. This is non-negotiable.
I have been a night-owl all of My life, rarely sleeping at night. Yet I work at a job that requires Me to be there, awake and ready to work at 6:30AM.
I require regular testing of all My subs for drugs, STDs, & general health conditions. I do not mix BDSM with alcohol &/or drugs, period, end of story, no discussion.
I want the submission of a person who values themselves enough to be as selective as I am in choosing a match. I do not have time in My life for fakes & drama seekers, so if that is what you are, begone. If you suffer from rectal-cranial inversion syndrome, seek professional help & have it corrected before messaging Me.
Some people like negative attention. This is immature behavior, so it will be dealt with in the same fashion for anyone that attempts it:
you will simply be IGNORED.
Other than a few exceptions, I honestly believe that a person must try something to know if you do or do not like it. This goes for food, activities, and pretty much anything really. There are but a few exceptions to which I can honestly say, I know without trying I will not ever enjoy that. If you are curious as to what those few are, see My hard limits list which is detailed below.
I am NOT looking for a live in at this time because I have a child living at home. I do seek someone that lives close enough to Me that they are available to Me whenever I choose (note: I do understand & consider work/school schedules). After much consideration, & the usual over-thinking (lol), I have decided to expand things a bit. I have decided that "local" will include those within a few hours drive from Me, however, if you fit into this category you must be willing to commit to a certain amount of time to be spent with Me. I do consider both full time & part time subs. I also keep both non-sexual & sexual subs. Each person is individual & will be treated as such. Sexual subs are required to learn body worship & to be very enthusiastic in oral worship. *weg*
I am totally fascinated with asian themed items, especially clothing & decor.
I love silk.
I label Myself as a "limited" poly currently, which means: I do not just have random sex partners. I MIGHT have multiple sex partners at a particular time, however, I am very selective, & ALWAYS safe. However, this does not mean that I am in any way against monogamy. I have had both monogamous as well as poly relationships in My life & I am fully capable of being in either type of relationship. I do require that all subs wearing My collar not play or have sex with ANYONE without My express & specific permission to ensure that My safety requirements are met. I may occasionally loan one out if they seek an experience I am unwilling or unable to participate in. I do require a contract before collaring anyone. This is to make sure that there is a complete understanding of all expectations and goals of the relationship. The length of each contact is as individual as each relationship is. No two subs will have the same relationship with Me, so, no two contracts will ever be exactly the same. A sub that serves Me long term may end up with several contracts over the course of serving Me. Those contracts may be the same or completely different based on what the goals were for that particular contract.
When it comes to My interests, they are just that interests. Like My musical tastes, it's a mood thing. The does not mean I wish to participate in every interest with every sub at every point in time. If I have interests that you are not interested in participating in, that's okay, that is why we discuss things and establish limits before there is ever any play involved. I also develop new interests by learning more about things. If you have interests that I am not willing to participate in, then you need to understand & respect that just as I show you the same respect.
I am an open & brutally honest person. I mean that quite literally. Example: I will never tell someone they look "fine" when they do not. I will say "don't you dare wear that out in public with Me." Some may consider it rude, but friends appreciate the fact that I will not lie to them. I expect the same in return.
I am in a constant state of trying to learn new things.
A true friend will tell you the truth even if they know that you don't want to hear it & that it may even make you mad at them. I prefer to surround Myself with true friends, & I pride Myself on being a true friend to others. I am a bit of a geek and it shows in My humor a lot of the time. I was in all the advanced classes in school, & back in high school & college, I was the only girl involved in RPGs, which lead to some interesting gaming nights. LOL.
I drink occasionally and that is every once in a while paired with light smoking. I love great vodka (there are a few), Disaronno, Auxmit, Ozeki (dry), homemade cordials, jager-bombs, and well made jello shots. I have a preference for red wines, but also drink other wines depending on mood.
I choose to be happy & enjoy My life. Miserable people need not apply. I have no room for "eeyores." One of My favorite quotes is "I refuse to grow old gracefully, I want to slide into the end of My life with a chocolate bar in one hand & a bottle of wine in the other saying 'damn that was one hell of a ride'." I am not sure who the quote is from, but it works for Me. I am as comfortable at a black tie affair as I am in a tank-top and shorts working barefoot in the garden. So should you be. The chances are high that you will be required to escort Me to formal events where you will need to make a great impression on people.
When shopping for clothing &/or fabric, I choose with My hands. The feel of it on My skin is the most important thing.
I am fire. I am ice. I am a passionate & caring Woman. I am a cold-hearted B!tch (yes with a capital B). Which side of Me you see depends entirely on your actions and attitudes with Me.
Beauty In Total Control of Herself
I stand tall & wear that title PROUDLY.
I want someone that can impress Me with their mind, their sense of humor, & their human spirit.
Show Me some creativity & a sense of humor, you will be MUCH more likely to get a response.
 HARD Limits: no breath play, no minors (under 18), no animals (bestiality), no scat (feces), no roman (vomit), no waste products of any kind, no dead things, no dismemberment, no permanent injuries, no scarification, no cybering, nothing illegal, no drugs, & no STDs.
I do NOT play online, on cam, or on the phone in any manner! I will not explain to you My methods of Domination. I am not here to give you wanking material. If you ask you will be denied, deleted, & blocked! Messenger requests in first contact emails will simply be deleted. I do not give out My messenger information to just anyone, so don't bother sending Me your messenger id. If I want it, I will tell you to give it to Me.
Requests for "private chat" from strangers will be declined.
If I choose to respond to your email, it means nothing other than I have responded. There is no promise of anything. Only the possibility of some great conversation.
Do not just add Me to your favorites & never speak to me. Have the intestinal fortitude to approach Me.
I hate cucumbers, pickles, and relish, (its all the same veggie), yet I love cucumber sauce (tzatziki sauce) & cucumber ranch dressing...go figure.
Read My list of likes & dislikes. If you are interested in anything I have listed as My hard limits, then unless you are willing to give up those activities/things during your time with Me, there really is no match up, so don't waste My time.
I have some weird freaky food allergies: coffee, sweet potatoes, celery, yams, melon, squash... oh & I am lactose intolerant.
I don't need to know how much pain you think you can endure, that is something I will determine for you. 
That being said, I am not a 100% sadist, everything has its time & place. I am a very sensual & passionate person. My sensuality & passion are present in every aspect of My life. I describe Myself as a Sensualist with a Sadistic streak, the width of that streak depending on My mood. Besides, there are far greater punishments for a sub than pain. *weg*
My process for consideration:
1) If you have complied with My requests here, We talk online, be prepared to actually converse about many things, & NOT talk sex.
2) We talk on the phone and then if you impress Me...
3) We meet in real life, in a public place of My choosing & from there it depends on Our chemistry.
Note: you will be required to bring up to date STD & drug screenings to the first meeting.
If you take the time to write per My instructions, I will answer.
Here is a little known fact about Me for those that have read this far: Being possessed of a gifted mind Myself, I have a weakness for people that can genuinely talk nerdy to Me. {weg}
Instructions for contacting Me:
(when seeking consideration as a sub)
*Understand that this portion is in fact a very easy test to see if you can follow simple instructions, fail to do so & you have no chance of consideration with Me*
*you MUST include a photograph that includes your face and body (more than one photograph is ok). ALL photographs must be in focus. This has nothing to do with how you look, but instead the fact that I like to put an image with the words. See the photographer part if you don't understand. Do NOT send nude or genital pix on the first contact, you will be ignored, blocked, and deleted. If I want to see you naked I will tell you to send Me those photographs.
*you should be creative. Do NOT just send Me a message about how great you think I am or how you will serve Me when you don't even know Me. Tell Me about yourself.
*do not just send Me a list of sexual desires, if that is the first thing on your mind you will be deleted. This is not just about kinky sex for Me.
*be real, tell Me about who you really are, I have no interest in doormats with no personality. I like to get to know someone as a friend before I will even think to consider them as a sub, & I like people with unique, strong personalities.
*do not just copy & paste your profile. I check. Do not send Me "cookie cutter" emails that you have copied & pasted over & over to every Domme you think is hot. It's insulting.
*Do not just offer yourself to Me as a sub before you know anything about Me. This offering of yourself to every Domme you email makes you worthless to Me. If you do, you will deleted and not given a second thought. I seek someone who is as selective as I am in their search for a match.
*I do not see the point in cuckhold for my subs, so if that is what you seek, look elsewhere
If you have read this far then you will notice that I am not a the typical Dominant you will see online. You will not see a bunch of photos of Me looking angry or looking down at someone. I am a happy person who enjoys My life. I spend a lot of time smiling and I have been told I have an infectious laugh. I refuse to be negative, & I choose to not have negative people around Me. I am in all things Dominant because that is who I am at My core, but trying to fit Me into any sort of mold/type will just lead you to frustration. I know who I am as a person & I love Myself. I will even admit when I am wrong.
(shocking I know. lol)
Best birthday card I ever received: "When you were born, honey they broke the mold..." (then on the inside) "I heard they beat the sh*t out of the moldmaker too!"
ehehehe, yep, that's Me {g}
oh one more thing: I have a particular (rather intense) fondness for biting and being bitten, in a big way. Be afraid...
be very afraid.
Now the fine print...
Since this seems to have become an issue on this site: WARNING: Any institutions, groups, or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects:You DO NOT have my permission to use any portion of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have previously used, intend to use, or from this point forward use, any portion of my profile or any of my photographs, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to all legal ramifications both state and federal.
p.s. If you think I may not mean it, be warned, I have several lawyers in the family. {g} |
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Clarification:
I have always firmly believed that age is a state of mind, and have been involved with people both older and younger than myself as well as my own age group...
however, having been approached by 8 different boys that are the same age (or a year or two older) as my son in the last few days, has prompted me to clarify... IF you are young enough that I could have given birth to you then I am not interested. Seriously. It creeps me out. Especially since one of them went to school with my son and has been to my home as a guest of my son... talk about a strange moment... when I realized, omg this kid who I've known is actually hitting on me... ewww.
Rule of thumb, 15-16 yrs younger than me is too young... no I did not have children that young, but technically I could have, as many girls my age were at that time... so that's the age limit I am sticking with.
There are RARE and I do mean RARE exceptions to this rule. Better be a very impressive and very mature one to message me below this age limit. |
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ARG! why is my body refusing to get adjusted to the new work schedule... I am so exhausted... hopefully I will adjust soon... it's been two weeks now... |
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My Jakey came home last night!!! He had a weekend pass, so he only spent the night and left at noon today. I hate saying goodbye but I am so glad to have even that brief time with him. |
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I will be out at the Rainbow Festival today from 3-6pm! Located on 5th Street just north of Washington in downtown Phoenix. Admission is free, parking varies from $8-12 depending on the lot. Come and support a great cause: Equality Arizona works for equality for EVERYONE! Plus, everyone knows the best drinks in the park come from ME!!! We are on the side of the festival by the Arizona Science Center @ one of the festival intersections. I will have Long Island Ice Teas, Pomegranate Martinis, and Mojitos!!!
Check out these links:
http://equalityarizona.org
http://www.rainbowsfestival.com/ |
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SUPER busy weekend...
Saturday morning walk for Vasa Previa awareness.... http//www.vasaprevia.org
Then I volunteered at the Rainbow Festival here in Phoenix...
http//www.rainbowfestival.com
And today I am going back out again... but that's another posting... heheh
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First day at the new job... loving it! they are kinda funny... sticklers for dresscode, but consider hairstyle, tats, & piercings lifestyle choices... so you can have a 3 ft green mohawk, but you better tuck your shirt in and not wear sneakers! LOL. Sooo much more laid back at this place all the way around tho... I really think this is going to be a great fit! |
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Kandahar, Afghanistan
I know nothing of this place, so I googled it...
I am NOT happy. |
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Knowledge is Power.
Power corrupts.
Study HARD.
Be Eee-BIL!
BWAHHAHAHHAHA! |
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NEW JOB!!! Start on the 21st. This is a good thing... but damn it's scary too... couldn't pass up the opportunity though. Had to jump in feet first... |
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Jakey is all settled at the base. His life will become one of routine for the next few months. Hopefully he will get the two weeks leave at xmas he was told he would have, but being as this is the army, I won't believe it until he has his ticket. :)
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It's even harder than I thought it would be. Letting go of him at the airport was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Now I can't stop crying. This sucks.
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Jakey leaves today to report for duty in Kentucky. Jump school, air assault school, two weeks home at xmas (hopefully), then Afghanistan.
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Today is not a good day.
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My daughter is practicing the trumpet... ah school is back in session... is it mean to make her practice outside? LOL
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There is nothing quite like a
kid puking spaghetti early in the morning to get your day started...
ick... I wanna know what died inside of her... <blech>
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only a boy... lol
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ok, so my car didn't have a radio... I can live with that, so not caring since I've been without a car.
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Jakey came home (in case you couldn't tell from previous posts) and I let him use the car while I am at work to go do what he needs to do.
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He says I need a radio, I said, "not a priority."
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This morning I woke up and I have a sony stereo system/cd player in my car... lol
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crazy boys and their car fetishes... lol
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JAKEY'S HOME!!!!
{happy dance}
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ACK!!!! The government has decided to send My barely 19 yr old boy Jakey to Afghanistan. He was supposed to go to Kentucky after his 10 days home (from boot & AIT) and attend jump school. He's 101st airborne. Instead, We were notified today that the Monday after his 10 days at home he is going straight to Afghanistan for 15 months because Obama has ordered more troops over... thanx OH SO MUCH!
~ I doubt I will be sleeping much for the next 15 months...
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rest in peace Charles
you taught me to work on cars
you let me be the "tool girl"
you brought out the shotgun on my first date
you scared all the boys away
you taught me not to settle
your life was too short
you will be sorely missed
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the end is soon... the family agreed to pull him off of everything on Thursday morning... that gives My aunt a little more time, & ends his suffering soon... the doctors will only keep him medicated for pain...
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News: Well, My other aunt went in there and went straight to the head doctor, who turned out to be the doctor that was there when My gramma passed. He has fixed everything. My uncle will not pass alone but instead surrounded by his family, as it should be. Another plus, the nurse that was with My gramma, he came on shift last night. He's a wonderful nurse and a great comfort for My family to see someone they know cares. He told us at this point it could be 3 hours, 3 days, or even 3 weeks, all they can do is keep My uncle as comfortable as possible at this point.
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stupid f#cking doctors, now they are telling My aunt she cannot stay in the room with him overnight... OMG I wish I was there. I would tear into those doctors... How dare they make him be alone right now! My other aunt is going back over to the hospital to set them straight.
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Just got off the phone with My cousin. The cancer has spread through all of his organs. They aren't even letting family in to see him. He's not expected to survive the night.
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today just SUCKS!!!
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Why the hell can't "modernf#ckingmedicine" handle their sh*t?
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My barely 50 year old uncle lies dying in the hospital 3000 miles away... the doctors say there is "nothing they can do," they are keeping him sedated and on a ventilator, so I can't even call to say good bye. I am so frustrated. There is no way I can manage to get back there right now because of the stupid fracking economy... I just want to scream... can't stop sobbing... he's always been one of My best friends, the "kewl" uncle you know?
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Stupid cancer... gods I want to just beat the shit out of something... lol... instead I think I am going to hit the rum tonight...
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I have the most amazing friends... Today, My daughter's godmother gave Me a car. My car died some time ago and I was considering this car because her friend was selling it. I took it for a test drive at her house, runs great. Came back in and she gave Me the title and tags and proceeded to tell Me why I deserved it for helping everyone out etc etc. I cried. LOL. Its a great lil 2 seater hatchback honda 5 speed CHF and gets 40mpg. She had it checked bumper to bumper, got new rims, tires, a/c, muffler, and motor mounts. She even made sure it had a full tank of gas. I drove it home from her house which is on the other side of town. I even opened the ashtray and it was filled with quarters! In the hatchback was a brand new sunshade (still in tissue paper)! It drives great! I have just fantastic friends. Her husband gave Me fuzzy flame dice too. LMAO. Yet another friend says he has a radio for it as well. {sigh} Sometimes, just when I think I can't deal with other humans anymore, someone goes and restores the hope I keep for humanity.
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GREAT news! Loretta's son Jeremiah is awake and talking! He told her she looks like sh*t! that's a great sign!
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I am angry...
Please send out thoughts and prayers for My good friend Loretta. Her son Jeremiah, and his 6month old son Michael. They were hit by a drunk driver while on the way to volunteer at the food bank. Michael is only bruised but Jeremiah has lost his spleen, had quite a bit of internal bleeding and has as yet unknown damage to his liver. The drunk fled the scene but was later caught, without a scratch on him, only damage to his car. Jeremiah regained consciousness once long enough to ask about Michael.
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In the interest of organization (did I mention I am a bit OCD {or CDO for those of us with it}) I am reorganizing My journals. So don't mind the dust, and don't worry, it will all be much easier when I am done. {weg}
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wanna change the world?
***
www.equalityarizona.org
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Here's a fun game...
No one seems to be able to get it completely correct...
Put My photos in order of My age in the photo from youngest to oldest...
Prize? the satisfaction of being one of the few (if not the only one) who manages to do it. LOL
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What a FANTASTIC night! Leslie Jordan is the kewlest guy ever. He made time to talk and hang out with the volunteers. He is such a sweetie. Cannot wait til the photos are ready. I got autographs! It was so great! I know I should be tired but I am so amped. Think I might be feeling this in the morning tho. 8hrs on the feet, but so worth it. Ask me about Equality Arizona and how you can help!equalityarizona.org
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update: We had a great talk... he got his head out of his a$$... and we are friends again... We laughed and had a great time... so glad that it's all back the way it should be.
clarification: I wanted the break to evaluate if My feelings were real feelings or hormone induced. I asked for the break and was happy he agreed. My hurt feelings were that he did not want to return to being just friends, but now we are friends again so its all good.
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I am now *officially* an abassador of the Equality Arizona 18th Annual Stand Together Awards Dinner... I can't wait, it will be soo fun.. it's on Saturday... yay!
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MUCH better today... life goes on... I will get My closure Saturday morning and I will heal like I always do... life is too short to be wasted on people who do not appreciate Me for the Goddess I am...
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I demanded explanation.
he says he understands.
We have scheduled time to talk on Saturday morning.
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well it was short and to the point. I quote "The
transition to another type of friendship would be difficult for me."
meaning he will not be just friends. "I think it is best that we drift
past" so long. farewell.
this just SUCKS!
I have not wanted to cry in a very long time. I want to now. I took a chance and allowed Myself to care for someone and look at where it went.
Some days its better just to not even get out of bed.
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life changes, circumstances change, the nature of relationships change, and I change with them
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For the past few months, I have been saying: "This is getting so intense," It's moving too fast," It feels sooo wonderful, but it scares Me to death," "I need to slow down."
**just breathe**
Today - he agreed with Me. "Let's slow down." No problem. I agree (you get a square). I can deal with that. That doesn't hurt.
**just breathe**
I asked "Will our friendship remain intact?" he replied "I don't know, I need time to think and sort through all of my feelings. I am very confused & conflicted." OUUUCH. THAT hurt. a LOT.
**just breathe**
But, I will get over it. Been a very long time since I felt the need to cry. I felt it today. I didn't do it. I am strong. I am a survivor. I will get past it. I always do.
**just breathe**
I hope he can still be My friend. His friendship is dear to Me. It will hurt a lot more if he cannot be My friend. I might have to cry then. I hope he is just being emotional right now. I hope that when he's had time to think, he decides not to throw away our friendship.
**just keep breathing**
I think I need to take a break...
from everything.
he was My alpha, and a dear friend. This has been a really emotionally bad day. I truly hope we can survive this...
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I am NOT the Woman your mother warned you about...
her imagination was never
THIS damn good!
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Ok, so its been lately: had an allergic reaction to a spider bite, then to the meds they gave Me for the spider bite... (let this be a lesson to moms-to-be: don't smoke while preggo or you will have kids allergic to everthing like Me). I was pretty miserable for a few weeks but all better now and I am back to feeling great and loving life.
The boy is wonderful and keeps Me pretty occupied, so I haven't been online as much lately.
If you haven't heard from Me in a while, now you know why, so drop Me a line...
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I can't wait til Friday... weekend in vegas baby! Woohoo! Watch out vegas you've been warned... LOL
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My birthday present was AMAZING!!!! It took DAYS to recover. I wish every day was My birthday... hahahaha
thank you baby for showing such devotion to service *licks & kisses*
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yay! It's My birthday and My boy will be coming over to spoil Me after work. *WEG*
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I went shopping for toys both last night and tonight... woohoo... restocking from the toy bag that got swiped when I moved. Can't wait to use them... hahahah
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You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
-James D. Miles
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I usually can be found chatting in FemDomme_Den here on collarme chat. If I am not there try subs_for_Dommes.
If I have looked at your profile, you were probably in a chat room with Me. I like to know who I am talking to.
Do not assume anything by it. I do look at profiles of people I am interested in as well, but the majority is simply from chat.
If you are going to message Me looking for consideration as a sub/slave, follow the instructions stated in My profile or you will be deleted without a reply. Why would I consider someone who cannot pass the initial test of
following simple instructions?
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this came from LadyJohnson's profile. I loved it so I asked and She said I could post it. I think it goes rather well with the reason/season/lifetime principle I have posted in My journal.
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore
And who always will.
So, don't worry about people from your past........
THERE'S a reason why they didn't make it to your future.!!!!!!
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I have to wonder about the intent of people on here who simply put up a photo (usually with very little clothing on) and never fill out their profile. They usually just have the automated list of what the like and don't like. To Me, as a casual observer, it seems those people are really just looking for "hook-ups" based on their looks and sexual tastes, rather than actual BDSM relationships.
Just an opinion, its Mine. Agree with it or don't, doesn't really matter to Me either way. I felt it needed to be said, so I did, and that's that.
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I am not sick and twisted...
I just happen to have an insane amount of curiosity about a LOT of different things...
Can I help it if the things I choose to learn about are deemed "sick & twisted" by E/everyone else?
BWAHAHAHAHA...
its good to be the Queen! :)
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There are always 3 sides to every story:
yours, Mine, and the Truth
The difficulty is in getting each person past their own viewpoint and working together towards the truth.
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I find it disappointing the double standards that run
rampant online. Why bother having a set of rules when they only apply
to part of the people?
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This is something I came across many years ago. It has helped Me very much in My life, so I am sharing it here... (you will need to view the full profile to read it clearly, it doesn't fit properly into the little box)
Reason, Season and Lifetime
***
People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
***
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
***
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.
***
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
***
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
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Well, I guess it's time for a new entry. Understand this about Me: I have been through hell and back in My life & I have survived to be the strong person I am today. I know what I want and how I want it and I know who I am as a person and I am happy with Me. I am intelligent & I look at life with a slanted sense of humor that often wins Me the title of "sick & twisted" (but I like it so its all good).
I am not some girl "who hasn't met the right man yet" etc. I get tired of male Doms that message Me telling me they want to play at being submissive, then during the course of conversation they always "offer" to help if I want to try out submission, or remark how if I had a good man in My life I wouldn't feel the need to be a Domme. I cannot be "tricked" into submitting to someone. I will not allow someone to pretend to be submissive to Me in hopes of "taking over" when they can.
I am not some little girl who flits this way and that, I know Myself and I know My path. If you don't like the path I am on then go your own way and be gone from Mine. Life is to short to waste on someone who doesn't appreciate Me for who I am.
All that being said, I am in fact quite a free spirit. I have the freedom of being comfortable with Myself that many don't gain until later in life. I take chances, I jump in feet first, and I live My life with passion because that's the only way I can live it.
On a totally different tangent (yes I can be quite random), spelling errors are a pet peeve of Mine. If you are sending Me a message and trying to impress Me, why wouldn't you bother to check for spelling and typo errors first? I am a natural editor so that sort of thing sticks out to Me like a too bright light, and it does not leave a good impression. |
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2007 journal entries:
10/31/2007 10:53:18 PM
ok so a pic was snapped of Me after a long night of trick or treating with
My daughter and neices. LOL so I am exhausted and not too thrilled
about having My pic taken, but hey its at least a current pic. Its the
2nd pic. 
~
10/13/2007 9:33:55 AM
I cannot take full credit for the following, as I have gathered bits and pieces as well as adding My own words; however, I feel it is well worth the reading, even if it is a bit lengthy. I require all those under My consideration to read it before W/we proceed with anything. I think A/anyone considering a contract should read it. So here it is:
Before Signing a BDSM Contract
Perhaps the single most prW/we are, after all, truly romantics at heart, aren’t W/we, and W/we believe in happy endings and love which withstands the bounds of time), protect Y/yourself for the future.
While it may be a thrilling fantasy to turn over every vestige of self to another, it can be dangerous. If you give up every cent of your income, all your savings, everything you own to your dominant partner, what happens to you if, after the first term of the contract, you decide this is not for you? You may love and adore Her and want to offer all control, but until you are really sure, maintain a bit for yourself. Keep a separate bank account. Contribute your share to household expenses, and even luxuries, but do so wisely. Save for the unforeseen, the relationship that goes sour. If, after a short term contract or two you decide this really is the Mistress of your dreams, you can always make a gift of your savings.
Maintain your own credit. Some of us have mothers who never worked outside the home and never established credit in their own names. It can be a horror when suddenly you are alone and have no basis for credit. If a relationship ends, you need to be able to pick up and live independently again.
Some of us are good with money and budgets and some are not. It is not always the dominant partner who should control the purse strings and balance the checkbook. W/we will work within O/our individual strengths. Perhaps it is the slave who is the financial whiz. s/he does the work and advises the Mistress in these matters. The wise and benevolent Mistress is usually only too happy to have someone else crunch numbers and gladly bestows the power on the slave. *Remember Mistress, if you order the slave to maintain the household, keep the books and make mundane decisions, s/he does it for You at Your command – not in spite of Your control.
When W/we decide to make the full commitment to an indefinite, (forever, one hopes) M/s relationship, remember that unless W/we make a legal commitment, i.e. marriage, there are no protections for either of U/us. Take life insurance policies on each other. Make wills acknowledging each other as heirs. Most laws will not recognize non-traditional relationships (even those that lasted "forever") and if you have no will, your family will get Y/your estate, not Y/your beloved Mistress or slave.
Many families are shocked to learn that their dear sons and daughter are involved in M/s relationships and will do anything to undermine them. If Y/you become disabled or ill, Y/your family has the primary right to seek control of your estate, business, medical care, etc. Once established, they can banish your significant O/other. Give each other powers of attorney to oversee Y/your affairs should you become unable to do so for Y/yourselves.
W/we are all aware of the frailties of life and the dangers of love. Many people have sincere desires regarding medical care in the event of catastrophic illnesses and traumas. If you want your significant O/other to have the ability to speak for Y/you in these matters, Y/you must make medical powers of attorney (named differently in the many states, but with the same purpose). Likewise, discuss Y/your desires with Y/your personal physicians. Make sure they know to whom Y/you have delegated authority. Make visitation lists and have the doctors include these in Y/your medical records. A family who hates your lifestyle (and your significant O/other) can dictate who shall be included in the definition of *family* for visitation purposes if Y/your wishes are not known.
If Y/your contract does not contain an end date, it should have a clause, which allows either party to terminate for cause. Revocation of the commitment to the M/s relationship by one of the partners is equivalent to use of a safeword. W/we must respect the right each of U/us has to terminate a relationship. Doing so does not necessarily impose legal duties and restrictions on U/us. Just as a caring Domme should take steps to assure and comfort a slave who has safeworded (and vice versa), W/we should ethically take steps to assist each other in extricating from the M/s union.
Unscrupulous people exist. There are those who may hold the written document, photographs, videotapes, etc. over the head of another. There are amoral people on both sides of M/s equation. It is in those situations when W/we turn to the Law for protection. Y/you are not going to face jail or huge fines just because Y/you make a commitment to the BDSM lifestyle by stating so in writing.
By all means, seek what Y/you desire. The wish for each of Y/you is that Y/you find the person (or persons) with whom Y/you wish to spend the rest of Y/your life (or lives) in a 24/7 relationship. But use Y/your head as well as Y/your heart in these matters. Do not be led by Y/your genitals into a disaster from which Y/you feel Y/you cannot be extricated.
A caring Mistress will not dismiss you because you know your rights and understand the realties of the world. She will embrace your knowledge and accept your limits and concerns. One who refuses is not worthy of your submission and love.~ 8/12/2007 7:39:33 AM
When you email Me and offer yourself to Me before you have even spoken a word to Me prior, understand that you devalue yourself and your submission in My eyes.
I do not want offers of servitude as a first contact. Be original, be yourself. Contact Me if you are actually interested in getting to know Me. Otherwise, do not bother as your email will simply be deleted.
As far as the emails where someone falls to their knees, blahblahblah, that wont work on Me and will result in an automatic delete.
I do not play online, I simply use the internet for meeting people. I will not Dominate you online, on cam, or on the phone, so do not ask. I may talk about BDSM and sex but simply as subjects, I will not tell you how I Dominate, or what I would do to you if you were My slave, these are all methods for your cyber play and I will not be a part of it.
If you are a real person with an actual functioning brain that can create real conversation then you have a chance, otherwise, move along, I do not have time for game players. I do not want copy and paste emails, and trust Me I always know when the email is "cookie cutter".
Oh, one more point which I cannot believe I actually have to make: if you cannot follow instructions laid out in My profile, I have no interest in you because you do not follow directions. Sending Me message after message trying to "argue" that you are a good slave capable of following intruction, is in fact proof that you are not a good slave at all. I have no interest in someone who cannot follow very basic instructions that are written out for them in plain english and in bold printed rainbow colors.
I speak only English, so if you cannot speak English properly, do not message Me. I do not see the point in a slave that cannot understand the language of the Mistress.
~
8/12/2007 7:39:19 AM
I am a professional photographer so do not bother sending digitally modified pix or pix found online from professional shoots. I always know. I recently received a photo from a shoot that I was the photographer on, trust Me that person wishes they never emailed Me.
~
8/12/2007 7:32:55 AM
For those that put Me on their favorites and the lurk, what is the point. If you admire Me so much why have you not contacted Me. I do not find it complimentary in any fashion that you add Me to your favorites and never speak. So if you plan on adding Me to your favorites, try talking first because if you are one of those lurkers, well honestly, why would I be interested in someone with no courage to speak to Me.
~
6/9/2007 4:07:21 PM
"Having enjoyed a sweet delicious taste,
And having sometimes tasted what is bitter,
Do not greedily enjoy the sweet taste,
Do not feel aversion toward the bitter.When touched by pleasant contact, do not be enthralled,
Do not tremble when touched by pain.
Look evenly on both the pleasant and painful,
Not drawn or repelled by anything."
-Buddha, "The Connected Discourses of the Buddha"
Right meditation is not escapism; it is not meant to provide hiding-places
for temporary oblivion. Realistic meditation has the purpose of
training the mind to face, to understand and to conquer this very world
in which we live.
-Nyanaponika Thera, "Power of Minfulness"
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OK I have to say this... I am sooooo NOT into body hair... so if you look like a grizzly bear, dont message Me unless you are willing to get that removed... a little is ok but it needs to be nicely maintained.
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| Age: 21 |
| Baltimore,
Maryland |
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