|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| I have a domineering personality in the sense that I don't seek to control a situation so much as provide the means for said situations to take place. I'm never satisfied to the point of complaincency & thus find myself quickly out growing many people I have come into contact with. A night on the couch with someone special appeals to me as it would most people however I do like to keep a relationship fresh with new ideas and experiences, I believe I seek a submissive person to share this world with in the hope we may complete one and other, I am an open book when it comes to love I do not hide the feelings I have for I believe it does the very worth of the word an injustice, I want to fall in love with the same person every time I see, think of, or feel them. I dont want to lead someone through life in the hope they will learn from me, I don't want to follow someone for fear I'll be left behind, I simply wish to walk beside someone and have them know I am right there whenever they need me to be.
|
|
|
|
|
26 months sounds like a long time, survival of the fittest, a world apart.... A world apart from what? No one asks for boundaries, no dominant anyway.... What was this task you set? This was punishment, my cross to bare.... The ramifications for my actions were some vain attempt at rehabilitation.... You can't rehabilitate one who stands by his choices, one who feels no anger, your walls meant nothing, my mind walks straight through, no day has been lost, no moment wasted.... The time was mine, I felt every second, not once was I trapped, free from intolerance, the anonymity was bliss.... I will stand where I'm put as still as you ask, speak the words you would hear, perform any task, you talentless hacks think within those four walls, one lives not with power surrounded by fools, vying for belief in a system unknown, my body stands still, yet my knowledge has grown.... |
|
|
|
|
Batman stands high on a ledge over Gotham…. "This is high....How did I get up here again? This is fun, I'm fun. I'm dressed up like a bat...." |
|
|
|
|
Finally returned "home", 7/12/12.... Now gone again, itchy feet had nothing to do with, I was simply uncomfortable in my surroundings, Adelaide is not my home at all, I belong elsewhere, somewhere other than this city.... Decided to go coastal for now, something about being on the road relieves the mundane in this world, have arrived seaside on Spencer's gulf & acquired property in the foothills.... Now what I do not know, nothing about this seems "normal" & yet that's exactly how it seems.... I have none of the usual luxuries, power, gas, electronic media, phone excluded, I guess I'm about to find out exactly where my imagination can take me.... Though I have substantial savings to call upon, the urge to gain employment is strong, I see it as a chance to network the area, hopefully meeting some interesting people who have the ability to converse about something other than television & online social sites.... We shall see.... |
|
|
|
|
I certainly am not offended by people who are house proud or possess "nice" things, I believe in rewards for ones efforts, truly I do, I have owned boats, several motorcycles, project cars etc, but nothing, nothing I have ever owned has even remotely given me the satisfaction I derive from a stimulating conversation.... |
|
|
|
|
I was take aside a very long time ago & reminded of the "rules" I stood on stage as a child & answered questions from people sitting in the dark.... I was told how & where to stand, how I should have my hands, where to focus my eyes, certain words not to use, everything about that day was meticulously planned in infinite detail.... The only thing they couldn't control was me.... I learnt that day the true essence of what it means to be human.... I didn't answer a single question, instead I asked one of my own.... I asked if anyone in the audience was celebrating their birthday that day, a lady in her late 30's said she indeed was, I asked her to join me on stage then proceeded to sing happy birthday to her, as an 8 yr old child, I watched as some of the premier minds in our country were reduced to tears.... |
|
|
|
|
Battling the forces within, freed from societies constraints, I delve into my own psyche for no other reason than to hiss back at the masses as they refuse to examine their intolerance of others. Plagued by unsubstantiated ideals they take solace conforming to thoughts not of their own, I mock the very essence of an un- informed collective , freedom of speech has never seen such silence, so gather the masses, stand in judgement of those who choose to differ, beware 1 voice can change this all, 1 voice who dared to think.... |
|
|
|
|
The difficulties in being "me"
Take a moment in which to envelop someone else's thoughts. A brief interlude into another individuals mind....
My mind is eidetic, I have incredibly vivid, photographic memories triggered almost incessantly by mundane conversation. Each word spoken toward me by another is processed immediately & within moments I am either captivated or completely indifferent to that being said. My mind does not wander so much as wonder in ways that can only be explained to those who suffer a similar plight.... Staring into persons eyes as if they were delivering the single most important passage of conversation, yet hearing nothing even remotely related to their chosen topic.... I wonder if they too see through my persona into a world of their minds creating, has this conversation been anything other than an exchange of sounds, do they feel as though the words I spoke left them less informed than total silence, or do they leave the conversation enlightened by my "thoughts" I stand before a world I do nite seek to understand, I do not seek it's understanding in return, I wish to guide those who don't, not in the hope they will but in the hope then journey beside me is a better one for them.... Why must I conform in a society which does not conform to my ideals? Who dicipher's right from wrong on the moral plains? Where is the solid evidence the masses claim exists in a world moving beyond their control? I will not go quietly on my way, I will be heard by those who choose to listen, my mind shall speak, for it has words & those who listen need not feel forced, submit your mind should "you" see fit, I do not demand an audience, I simply wish to speak.... |
|
|
|
|
So my vacation being cut short by two weeks has now been extended by 5, seven more weeks till I'm home for possibly less then one week,I have traveled continuously now for three months & move from the mountains into a local city this Wednesday. The nomadic lifestyle takes away any real substance in human interaction, meeting so many new & interesting people is initially fulfilling until leaving them behind to embark on the next phase of my journey. traveling alone has definitely developed my self awareness to a level where I no longer desire understanding in order to associate events to my writing. I simply develop on a daily basis the tools required to function in such a manner.... It's as if my mind is open to clear concise thought on any topic it deems important & completely void of any kind of dissociated ramblings. |
|
|
|
|
About to begin the return leg of one epic European vacation, war & peace would best describe the differing feelings from my mind & body:-) |
|
|
|
|
True domination comes not from humiliation but rather an understanding of one & others needs, in fact without a willing sub the dom simply remains incomplete & vice versa. 2 people entering into any relationship must do so on the understanding they have not the right to take away from the experiences, anything they themselves have not consciously contributed to. some of the terms used to generalize the lifestyle we choose are in my eyes atleast flawed with false undertones. To care & nurture a sub, at any level has become my solace but I provide, care, hurt & feel with more passion about the wellbeing of my partner making me a slave to my own dominance. |
|
|
|
|
This Journal contains my unsolicited thoughts & reflects my moods more so then any structured day to day events, I could write anything from poetry to my childhood experiences or those of a mere minute ago, please read if you like and I hope it can give you an insight into the fabric of my make up.
"WHITE"
like any other day I pulled at the door waiting to hear the noise as the cold metal frame moved into the cushioned opening just before hearing the click, but this day there was no click, for this day was different, I pulled the door back and look out toward the rear of my house, everything in it's place & right in the middle staring back at me was a her immense beauty as if she to was waiting to hear the click, our eyes met, I knew wot she didn't, I knew this was about to get personal, her unstructured life was about to become very much so & I, I was again to nurture yet another lost soul onto the path she had always wanted to take but until now never had the metal to tread. I baulk & consider the ramifications but it's to late, I must do this, the choice has now become hers but I am about to make her mind up for her. Come I say as she gasps at the notion, I see the excitement coursing through her as she runs to the door, I move toward her with complete understanding of the situation she is trying to decipher. Gently I press her head into my chest, her pulse thrashing in her neck, I quietly utter, this is where you are now, this is where I have taken you. She doesn't understand the words but when she moves her head to again lock eyes the words no longer matter, She stares into my eyes with more knowledge and a clearer understanding of her surroundings then ever before, again she retreats to my chest momentarily losing focus, she struggles with a world she has never known, her heart races as her breath quickens, she searches for control, but this cant be controlled, this is not of our choosing. Again I softly speak, let our worlds become one, I do not need to shout to make her see my way, she looks at me once more as the day becomes night, we move away, we hear the click, entered is the white....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Age: 23 |
| Dallas,
Texas |
|
|
|
| |
