After a great deal of thought and asking Myself that very question, I’ll put to “paper” what I think those qualities would be.
What I am about to put down in no way reflects the opinions, protocols or beliefs that other Dominants, male and female, hold or practice.
I entered the lifestyle of BDSM some 10 years ago, learning where it was that My dominance stemmed from, where it grew. Starting out online, learning, having a submissive online, having My heart wrested from My chest, I learned.
To Me a Dominant is a person who has the inner strength to know that He/She is able to take the energy of their dominance, emotions, fears, joys, goals and all else that we have within and accept that it is what makes them who they are and knowing that they are not always perfect and very human.
Inner confidence is in knowing that whatever is decided upon, whatever the course of action, it is and has been well thought out.
Being honest with ourselves, totally, intimately (soul searching)
Remembering that a submissive/slave is also very human and needs that reinforcement.
Having the ability to know the difference between being angry and not focusing it on your girl and being in a scene with your girl. Too many times BDSM is used as a “mask” for abuse and far too many horror stories emerge as a result. A Dominant must always be willing to learn, to grow. As Dominants we already toe a fine line between what and how we live and abuse and to cross it…we know the results.
Being able to communicate…that’s not as easy as it sounds and even more difficult to do if you have never really had that ability. It can be learned.
Knowing that it’s ok to ask for help, leaning on friends, allowing yourself to feel, these are important, it makes us that much more reachable.
Say what you mean, mean what you say….that has been said and as a Dominant it’s important to keep that in mind, a submissive/slave looks to that guidance/ownership.
*chuckles*
When becoming aware of your dominance, be aware that there is much to learn and being “SuperDom/me” is fertile ground to earn a great deal of disrespect.
On that note, I will end this for the time being with more to add as time passes.
Welcome to the Musings of a Dominant Mind.
~Part 2~
“Please do not adjust your set. We control the horizontal, we control the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand images, or we can focus it to crystal clarity. For the next hour, we will control all that you see and hear….”
This was a reply that I posted in the BDSM chat room to a comment made by a submissive, Me of course being a bit of a smart ass. After sitting back and really thinking about it, a Dom does in a way (be it large or small) control His environment and those that are in it.
There is a reason for this thought. The rituals, training, teasing, playing, disciplining that a Dom applies to His submissive/slave are the controls that He uses to achieve His end desire in what He wants in His girl. He must know how to utilize and exercise that control so that the emotional, physical, SPIRITUAL safety and well being of His girl are not put into danger.
Being able to see and be aware of all that is around a Dom is important in two ways. The first is that the Dom is able to see all of His surroundings and know that should He allow His submissive/slave to mingle at functions/munches/play parties, etc, His submissive will never be alone as He will be at her side in a heartbeat. The second is being aware of what is going on, simple enough, look, listen, see everything as well as details. This will help in the way a Dom will see His submissive. Noticing how Dominants and submissive/slaves interact in both the real world and online is like an intricate dance. The Dominant is watching His girl, sending her possibly, little visual cues, teasing, tempting, calling her into service at a moments notice. The submissive sees that her Dom is watchful over her and this in turns to build the trust and confidence that the submissive has in her Dom.
The Dom sees the physical “posturing” as it were by His submissive and He knows within Himself that His girl knows His power. This He knows is brought forth from His own confidence in Himself.
~Part 3~
A sense of humour…
Sitting back, I thought of a comic that was published several years ago called “Bizarro” by Dan Piraro.
The comic is set in an old medieval dungeon, the prisoner is in the cell behind the locked door and the dungeon master is speaking…”My name is Herschel. I’ll be your Dungeon Master this evening. Can I deny you a cocktail or appetizer to start with?”
I’ve had it on My fridge for the better part of 5 years and laugh each time I see it, the reason, simple…it’s funny and can be brought forward and thought of in the way of a scene with Your submissive/slave. As we all know, scenes, be it in private or public need not always be flogging, spanking, beating or tormenting Our loved ones so sweetly. Play a game with gummy bears, jelly beans, anything fun and build a scene around it.
Being able to have fun and laugh is a quality that we as dominants should also have. We all know how easy it is to be serious, stern, and “in role” the “majority” of the time and sometimes we forget to laugh. Laughing at oneself shows strength within oneself and self-appreciation. Being able to accept who we are. It also shows your hearts desire that You know how to laugh and keep the amusement alive.
Always keep smiling…that way nobody knows what you are up to.
