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Sparklie

Sparklie - photo 1
Sparklie - photo 2

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Friends:
Tincka

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The Kink Blurb I am submissive in play with the right man to top me, but in ordinary life I'm my own person with my own thoughts and spin on things. I'm a confident businesswoman during the week, which I take seriously, so when I like to play, I enjoy relinquishing all control - or rather having that control taken from me - for a while. I enjoy getting a bruised bum and bearing the marks of physical play, getting handled roughly. I'm a great believer in "never say never" as there are things that ten years ago, I would not have considered trying that I am pleased to say I have now done. I think that age and experience have mellowed me out. I no longer have a chip on my shoulder the size of the grand canyon. The rate at which my beliefs are being challenged is leading me to develop at an astonishing pace and each week I'm finding new things to add to my bucket list as I strike others off. I am not looking for anything, other than friendship and introduction to new experiences. The Psychology Blurb I love meeting new people in smaller groups. I can be a little bit twitchy and feel slightly exposed if I'm meeting too many people at one time, so sometimes I might take myself off for a few minutes of down time to just get myself back in balance and restore calm - so if you see me sitting on my own for a little while, this is perfectly normal. As you can probably tell, I'm erudite and have a reasonable amount of intelligence... and an ego to match. :op I love cryptic crosswords, but hate sodoku. The Physical Blurb I'm a bigger girl, so if you like that kind of thing, or you're not bothered by it either way, then come on over and have a chat. If it's not your thing, then that's cool - I respect that we all have different tastes and I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Heck other people aren't always my cup of tea, but I'll almost always be friendly and polite (unless of course my spidey senses tell me that you're bad news in a non-fun way, in which case I'll usually just make my excuses and go talk to someone else). My tastes My own personal tastes tend to run to big solid guys with shoulders that could knock down brick walls. Strong, practical men with a mechanical mind will generally get my sparks flying. That's not to say I won't talk to other people too, so long as the conversation is interesting and mostly respectful. Likes Cats (Moggies)
Cuddles
Chinese Takeaway
Talking late into the night snuggled up
Things that make me feel smart
Things that make me feel sexy
Driving
Eternity by Kalvin Klein
The view I've got of my boobs
Cold, cold stainless steel
Talking filth from my reasonably classy mouth
Being dragged around by my hair
What I do for a living
Sitting in the garden late at night on a hot summer's night
Guessing all the flavours in a well-made dinner
White Grenache Rose
Thatchers Gold Cider
Vodka with fresh, bitty orange juice and crushed ice
Veuve Cliquot Champagne Dislikes Billy Bullsh1tters. Fake it til you make it types. Just be honest with me.
People who only listen a part-way to something you say, then start preparing the thing they want to say that's bigger, better, worse or otherwise going to dwarf what you've said.
Hot chillis
Sambucca, Pernod etc
Offal (excl Liver Pate and Black Pudding)
Feet This is my old profile blurb from when I finally got myself onto the scene proper a couple of years ago. I've changed a helluva lot since then. Phew! Curvaceous, unique and a mind to be delved into. Strong-minded woman with a submissive, masochistic side in private. Seeking strong-willed, self-assured man with a desire to win a challenge and my submission.
I have limited experience, but what I do know just keeps surfacing. Please do check out my journal to find out where I'm up to.
I am a big girl, so if that bothers you, please just hit the "next" button and move on as everybody's into something different. Good luck with your search - I hope you find who you are looking for. :o) For those who have not hit the next button, here's the lowdown on me and who I am seeking: I enjoy submitting to someone who can out-dominate me. This means they have to get inside my head and push my buttons - not push me around. I am not looking to be someone's domestic slave or to be bossed around 24/7 as I am an independent woman of high intellect. I want someone who can match me sexually and offer me the mental stimulation I need. Being bound and certain levels of pain inflicted on me stimulate me physically. There's lots more to find out and I'm willing to discuss my limits with someone who has gained my respect.
I am not into degradation or total power exchange. I will not respond to rude demands for information. Please get to know me a little bit, first. I've completed my likes, loves and dislikes, so you should be able to figure out whether my tastes align to yours or not. What I can offer : Intelligence, confidence (outside of any encounters), a willingness to try new experiences, self-suffiiciency in normal life, love, care, respect, honesty, faithfulness, wit and someone for whom dramatic reaction to life's events is a no-no.
I will respond to intelligent, considerate communications, as I am looking for a partner with whom I can share a well-rounded life, of which D/s is a part.

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6/29/2011 1:41:10 PM

Time for something light-hearted, as I've been doing quite a bit of soul-bearing on my journal and it could do with brightening up a bit.  This is my observation after viewing a number of profiles.

 

Penises... Is there any need for them to take pride of place on the main profile picture?  Yes, I understand you may be proud of your appendage,  but every chap's got one - by definition.  I also understand that this is a site where one should expect to see content of an adult nature.  I wouldn't be here if I were seeking fluffy bunnies.

 

It's just that as a woman - and I believe I speak for a reasonable proportion of us - a good picture of your face is more enticing than a todger leaping out of my computer screen.

 

A picture of a piece of meat as the main profile pic is somewhat similar to a lone guy in a fetish club going around naked with just his shoes on. It's not clever, it's not funny and even if you have been blessed with prodigious proportions - it's not the most important thing a woman will look for.

 

So, to the minority of men who do have their willies on display as their main pic... Grab a snap of your face and let the cock be a surprise to those of us who are interested enough to take a look further at your profile.


6/12/2011 2:38:20 PM

Unusual developments

 

I've been chatting with an old friend who's shared with me details of his foot fetish. I've been helping him to explore it. It's been a real eye-opener to me as I thought it was all cut-and-dried, but there seems to be as wide a range of sub-fetishes within podophilia as there are in any other area of kink.

 

This guy is fairly submissive, but is interested in learning to switch, in order to please me!  How weird is that?  Actually, it's not weird - if he's as submissive as I think, he's just wanting to please me and gain the reward of my approbation.

 

I'm actually considering having a go at formally topping with him and seeing how that makes me feel.  It's quite a nerve-wracking thing, considering - as I have alluded to in my previous journal entries - I desire a man who can work my psyche and allow me the room to relinquish my hard-won self-control.

 

As I am interested in any number of experiences, I feel I would not be able to turn this particular opportunity down.  Although feet aren't my particular "thing", they are his and he doesn't expect me to reciprocate. Phew!


6/5/2011 12:45:10 PM

What's in a name?

 

Really. I mean this question in all seriousness.  I'm talking about the name chosen for a profile.  Often, it's a name chosen on the spur of the moment, when going through the rigmarole of setting up the profile and answering loads of questions. 

 

So, if a name is chosen when one's attention is elsewhere, does it mean that I'm likely to gain some good insight into their perceived self.

 

Does it speak volumes, or is it unimportant?  I ask this, because I've spent time looking at hundreds of profiles and carefully reading their words to gain an insight into the person behind the profile. It's my humble opinion that the name speaks volumes... but not in the way that they would like to think.

 

 


6/2/2011 2:26:47 PM

Time to let my mind wander into desire and fantasy.

 

Getting out of the bath, the lights in my home go out.  It's pitch-black darkness and I'm groping around in the dark to find my torch.  My hands hit a wall of solid chest muscles and my wrists are grabbed.  They're quickly held in one big hand whilst I'm being pulled off balance and dragged into the bedroom.  A hand is placed over my mouth . Any time I make a noise, my nostrils are covered. This silently lets me know that if I don't shut up, I don't get to breathe.

 

I'm pushed against the bed. I trip as I fall. I fall face-down onto the bed and the weight of my assailant holds me down on the covers.  He straddles my back to prevent my arms from escaping from under me, as he shoves a rag into my mouth and wraps several layers of electrical tape around my mouth and head.

 

The rag quickly absorbs all my saliva and my mouth feels dry.

 

Once he's taken care of my noise-making abilities, he shuffles down and sits on my arse.  I push up with my suddenly free arms and arch my back, struggling to push him off.  He must have known I'd do that, as he's prepared and grabs my arms, raising them above my head and bending them back so that my wrists are by the back of my neck. He binds them with cable ties and loops another long cable tie through them, which he then secures around my neck.  I pull at the binds, but find that they just cut into my wrists and throat and I'm at risk of cutting myself badly.  My face slaps back down onto the bed as he lets go after tying me and I turn my head.

 

My eyes have become more adjusted to the darkness and I can make out shadows. I'm aware of movement in the corner of the room. I realise that there is another person there and they seem to be holding something.

 

My attacker sees that I've noticed the other person and bends down to growl in my ear "That's' my buddy and he's operating the night-vision video camera. He's going to video everything I do to you.  I'm going to have a record of this so I can watch it again and again. I'm going to love fucking you and fucking you up."

 

I struggle when I hear that last remark.  What was he planning for me besides the obvious?  I'm rocking from side to side to try to shift his weight, but his knees are gripping my sides and he squeezes on me, making it difficult to breathe.

 

"Keep going like that and I'll ruin you" he snaps viciously.  It's enough to make me calm my motions and become still.  When he senses my acquiescence, he eases up on my ribcage, then lifts his knee and takes his weight off me.

 

My legs start to tingle as the blood starts to head back into them.  They've been pressed against the edge of the bed for the last few minutes, with little blood getting to them.  I clench and unclench my feet and slowly bend my legs up from the knees.

 

 

***********

 

Enough fantasy-spinning for tonight.

 


6/2/2011 1:39:38 PM

Does my submissive private personality come out in my public self?  I've been pondering that since last night and I think the answer must be yes.  As I've described in my profile, I'm a forward personality in public the majority of the time.  It seems, however, that when I meet a person who is more assertive, forthright and generally pushy, I generally flip and go into the softer, gentler me.

 

So, what are my triggers?  Not all pushy people can push me around - very few, in fact.  This means that it's something else.  Something I'm picking up in the background noise of any interaction with the person.  What are they saying? How are they acting?  There's something they're doing - quite naturally - that is speaking to my inner person and bringing her to the surface.

 

It's quite a thrill when this happens, but I usually have to keep myself in check to prevent myself from causing an embarrassment.  The last thing one would want when I'm speaking with a perfect stranger is for them to clue in to how willing I'd be to let them take me and overpower me.

 

I guess it's all about the balance of power. Power is very important to me.  The very act of handing that power to someone else reminds me of my own power in the choice of giving it.  If you followed that... well done!


6/1/2011 3:45:18 PM

My roots are unclear. It's been observed that kinks are sometimes the result of something that happened in the formative years.  To understand my desires and needs, do I need to look back to my childhood?  What was it that might have planted a seed in my subconscious? How deep does it go?

 

Thinking about it, it may have something to do with my inability to fit in with my peers. When a child is unable to relate to most of the peer group, they often find themselves on the outside.

 

I sought the company of others who might stand up for me and protect me.  I was attracted to people with power.  Does this translate directly into my need for the "ug" male, who has power and influence over others?

 

I know I find weedy, dweeby "yes men" irritating and I can't help but tease them. I gain no real sense of pleasure, except for maybe a sense of power. This is exactly the attitude that it has been suggested that might indicate I do have a dominant streak in me.  But it doesn't give me my yayas.

 

Does my need for the strong, protector type lead me to fall into the submissive role as a way of maintaining their focus on their assertiveness?  Are those chest-beating gorillas likely to be the best to either dominate, or protect?

 

Okay... this one's going to take some time to unravel. No major conclusions this evening.  Insights always appreciated.


5/30/2011 2:31:25 PM

I've been thinking back to my past experiences lately.  Trying to identify what it is about them that makes me feel the way I do.  As it's been pointed out to me that I'm an extremely dominant personality in most areas of my life - so why do I get my yayas the way I do?

 

The first experience which ticked a box for me was losing my virginity. It hurt like hell and the guy who did the deed for me, once he'd got me over that first push, pretty much did what he needed to for himself. At the time, I didn't know how to process what happened. I knew I didn't love him, but I did fancy him and he had some kind of power over me.  Made me go all girly.  To this day, if I saw him again, I know I'd get all fluttery.

 

My next encounter that was anything remarkable was with a guy far older than me. At the time I was 20 and he was 44.  Again, he was a very self-assured man.  There was nothing about him looks-wise that would normally make a 20 year old want him - but he had a certain something about him and I knew I had to have him.  I got his attention and he soon welcomed me into his embrace.

 

I don't think he knew what he was, other than that he was forceful and always got what he wanted.  This one messed with my head a bit more as again, I didn't know how to process what I was going through.  We had many nights of playing and messing around.  There was never any equipment - like I say, I don't think he knew what he was.

 

There was one night with one of his other girlfriends. He used to like holding his arm across my throat and make it difficult for me to breathe.  That still freaks me out today, because I didn't know what was going on and I don't think I trusted him that much.  But I was addicted and kept going back for me.

 

After that, I never could find what I was looking for and it took a number of years to realise what I actually was.  Not having anyone to talk with about things probably delayed my self-discovery a number of years.

 

I ended up going to a club with a friend and watching a scene that put it all into place for me.  What I wanted - what I needed was all laid out there and I was jealous of the woman tied over the vault box - I wanted it to be me.

 

Over time, an old friend and I ran into each other and we ended up in bed together. At that point, things just happened and I realised I could be honest with him about what I needed.  He was more experienced than me.  We played a couple of times and he shackled me to his ceiling and played with me til I screamed.  He was a master at torturing my nipples.

 

And then life drifted on.  Other meaningless encounters (sorry - I hate the term "vanilla" - it seems so condescending) ensued.  Often, I'd try to get them to have a go at doing something that would really excite me.  it just wasn't the same.  They didn't know what they were doing, or were too scared of hurting me. I was chasing that elusive something, not realising that what I needed was to be restrained and played with 'til I scream.

 

During my last LTR, my partner liked that I was pretty unshockable and downright dirty at times, but he was too prude for me to really open up and explain what turned me on.  I got him to tie me up a couple of times, but each time, he'd untie me before I came.  To me, that was cruel.  He wasn't able to inflict the pain/pleasure and wasn't interested in learning.

 

So now, I'm left with this rather unusual predicament of being definitely sub in the bedroom, but quite dominant in most other parts of my life. Frankly, I'm a bit confused. I'm interested in learning more about what I am, what my limits are and how I would fit with someone else.


5/29/2011 2:58:51 PM

A small thing... I'm more than happy to have a chat with someone, but I'd much prefer to have received and sent at least one Mail message first.  It means I can make a decision whether it's worth entering a chat.


5/29/2011 2:51:28 PM

Thanks to some very in-depth discussions with someone from CM, I've learned quite a bit about myself.  In most of my life, I come across as a very dominant woman and yes, I am. What I seek, however, is someone more dominant than myself who will, by means of getting into my mind, release the submissive side of me that exists in my sexuality.  That's the only place you'll find it and only those who can out dominate me mentally are able to find it.

 

That doesn't mean shout at me or demand from me or generally be rude to me.  All that does is affirm that I'm better.  Someone has to be intelligent (without waxing lyrical or being the wounded poet) and zero in on who I am and what I'm about.

 

As a reward for this, the right man will break down my barriers and see the submissive side of me flower and develop.  What can be more empowering to a true Dom than knowing that he has created that?


5/16/2011 3:01:24 PM

Right, got past the "fresh meat" stage.  Time to review my profile and maybe amend it so as not to be such a beacon?


5/12/2011 1:59:06 AM

I've now added my likes, loves, dislikes, etc to the profile, as I was getting lots of "what are you into" typed questions.

 

I've also noticed that I'm getting a few short, rude questions.  Having read up on other peoples' experiences, I'd rather focus my time and energy on polite, well-crafted replies as this indicates the quality of the care and respect for my gift I'm likely to receive.

 

So now I need to give those thoughtful messages my time so I give them the attention they deserve.

 

Offering my submission is a choice I consciously make. It is something I choose to do. Who I do it with is also a choice.  Where would be the fun for a Dom if his partner would submit to anyone?  It would have nothing to do with him. It would all be about the sub's desire to be sub to anyone, at any cost.  That's no achievement or power, is it?

 

Being sub means you need to know more about what you want and have the confidence to say "No" to those that don't fit your values. I will therefore trash the one-liners and rude approaches. ;op


5/11/2011 3:55:49 PM

Wow, I've only been a member for a few hours and already I've had a number of wonderful approaches.  I need to make sure that I read each one carefully and consider the profiles of the Gentlemen who have contacted me.  It's important that I learn from the responses in order to improve the content of my profile.


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MiztressAutumn
 
 Age: 20
 Cincinnati, Ohio