I get angry at transwomen sometimes, like, angry to the point that I don't want anything to do with them...

(from tumblr)

PTHC porn workshop:

Trans women’s stated reasons for going into porn: “so that I can eat food and sleep in a bed”

Trans men’s stated reasons for going into porn: “I think it’s hot”

And then all the transwomen hate on the transmen. Well, guess what...those transmen started out genetic women. If they say porn feels empowering, it is because of all the shit that biological women have to deal with when it comes to sex issues and suddenly, as transmen, they get to experience a taste of the male perspective.

Oh, but you wanted to join the ranks of the "oppressed" gender? LOL. Not all transwomen are white, but especially for the ones who are...you basically decided that you wanted to deal with a lifetime hormones, surgeries, discrimination issues, ification issues, in danger of sexual assault, being "forced into porn/sex work to put food on the table", etc...instead of play the hand you were dealt. All that so-called (white) male privilege which you were born into, nah, no thanks, don't need it...

That is like a prince who gives up his crown and his money to marry a poor commoner.

I mean, I get trying to live the way that you feel you are inside, being true to yourself, but you knew how it would be going into it. In fact, if you wanted to REVERSE the process, you could do that too (has been done before). You can live as a MAN again if you wanted to, down to your very DNA which never changed. Genetic women can't do that. We can either be women, transmen, genderqueer, etc. All of which come with some level of discrimination. This is what it is to be born a female. And you wanna bitch because for once, we aren't so horribly oppressed? Because we aren't having the same experience you are?

You opted in. Genetic women can't opt out. Maybe have a little bit more awareness about what you all are complaining about before you start to spout what is, really, just good old fashioned misogyny. 

I might be willing to make an exception to my age requirement (i.e. nobody over 40) if you look like Eddie Vedder. Or if you ARE Eddie Vedder ;)

If you look like a broke-ass Donatella Versace though, I'll pass.

I want someone who isn't just submissive sexually, someone who only wants to submit behind closed doors, someone who wants to appear "vanilla" to the outside world. That doesn't appeal to me.

I want the guy who is submissive to me everywhere, the guy who isn't afraid to obey me in public, the guy who doesn't need to hide anything. Is that too much to ask?

Lazy day at home with my dog. 3 finals yesterday and while I did well, it's exhausting having to prepare for that much all at once. I totally deserve to take it easy today, haha.

So I am. I'm having a peach smoothie and relaxing in bed, browsing spa menus. I want to do a spa retreat sometime this summer. Also, I REALLY want to try brunch at the Hotel Del in San Diego. Things on my to-do list. The one in my head, anyways...which I should really put down on paper. 

Some guy (sexy guy) was viewing my profile and it said he was from Bratislava and all I could think of was that movie Eurotrip, lol.

I thought about him today. Oddly enough, I was masturbating when the thoughts spontaneously popped into my mind, completely unrelated.

It's been about a year now and it's amazing how time flies. I'm in a much better place in my life now. I wince a bit now when I think about him because I really put up with him much longer than I should have and I guess maybe that was a combination between being distracted by all the stress in my life as well as just being way too hopeful. I see that his idea of honesty was relative and that he was always running from things...responsibility for his own life, his commitments to me as my sub, and even from who he was a person. 

I put myself first. I refused to put up with any nonsense and I dropped him. In hindsight, I should have done that last May. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20, afterall.

The site really looks like shit. 

Late at night, the pleasure I get from experiencing ASMR (via ASMR videos) feels akin to having sex...though not sexual, it's still pleasurable (obviously) and I do find myself craving. Unfortunately, I think I may need to abstain for a bit  as I'm been building up immunity!

I've gotten tired of this site recently. I've also gotten tired of FL too (and no, that doesn't stand for Florida...lol). Thank goodness for my active RT kink life.

There is something a little bit pathetic about people who are over 25 still living with their parents.

Found a fit young sub to train for the summer (and possibly through Christmas, if time allows). A 24 year old baby-faced newbie with ripped abs and nice biceps and a very sincere attitude.

I also went out to a party last night and had an AMAZING time. I met 3 really cool Dommes and a few subs too, then got to have an awesome and very primal scene with one lucky guy in particular. Not to mention, I got quite a few compliments :P

And today I got lots of presents in the mail from a finsub who's keen to please. In addition to receiving my official printed acceptance letter from the University.

So tell me...what have YOU been doing with your time while I've been busy being awesome?

Fit is fine, anorexic is not. Scrawny men turn me off :/

Eating healthy is such a bummer sometimes. I wanted something sweet just now but settled for pickles instead. I think the salty sour taste killed the desire for sweets a bit...

Spent more time with Footboy yesterday. He went to a grad fair and had some funny/horrifying stories to share. I did some CBT on him for the first time yesterday. We're both no stranger to it but it was the first time we've done that together, despite having been playing for 6-7 months. Then I bit him up and he massages my feet and back. I was tempted to go get food together but it was nicer to stay in and just talk. I get lazy like that sometimes I guess.

Doing so very well right now :D

My life isn't perfect but it's still pretty awesome to be me.

I'm going to start managing Footboy's diet and exercise. It's an exciting prospect, taking more control. I've had him for about 6 months now and our regular time together is always so nice but I recently wanted to start branching out him. I look forward to whipping him into shape!

Funny how I come across things with such interesting lyrics sometimes.

Song is "Let it die", btw.

Normally I'm not interested in either the new or the young but recently I've been warming to the idea of training a young newbie submissive masochist (21-26 years old). I know it's hard to break into the scene, especially for inexperienced male subs, so this could be a great opportunity for the right person. I'm not looking for someone to keep either, but more on a contract basis of 3-6 months. I would like to start in June, after getting to know eachother. I will decide when will meet, if I choose you.

I will say upfront that I am picky and I can be quite strict. If I take you on, expect to work hard and do your best. Many notions you might have of kink, Dommes, and BDSM will be quickly dispelled. Be serious about learning and be prepared to obey.

My requirements:
-Must be single
-Have a good attitude
-Have transportation and be willing to travel
-Have a good bit of free time to serve and be trained
-Be able to afford certain basics (chastity device, club entry fees, etc). I will provide most other toys
-Be willing to obey, even when it is not convenient
-Address me as Ma'am at all times

*If you need to be very discreet, this is not the position for you. Please do not waste my time by responding.

Please send me a message if you are interested. Also, please remember that etiquette counts, so make sure your message is polite and proper.

Today was a long day. I got back one of my last exams, it was 100% but I mostly didn't care. I'm tired and irritable at school and all my on-campus professors this semester are male. I'm moody and dominating with them. They're both sort of idiots, so I don't feel bad. Well-educated awkward idiots. 

He came to pick me up after the last class and the dog was sitting in the front seat, waiting for me. We got fast food; I guess he passed on getting himself food earlier because he said he wanted to have the chance to eat with me, which I thought was really sweet. I like being taken care of like that. Quietly spoiled, unobtrusive, tending to my needs. It helps especially because I've been having a painful period this month. I got home and my pants were soaked in blood. So sexy...I know. Heh. It feels good to be home now and finally able to unwind.

"We pretend it doesn't matter

To lose the things we hold dear

While our hearts are crying

Bitter tears."

Experienced subs with good reading comprehension only, please. Throw in some basic respect for my stated wishes, as well, thanks.

"Date" for DomCon 2014 wanted. Prefer a very obedient submissive masochist, UNDER 40 and reasonably fit/good-looking. Foot boys welcome as well. Inquire within.

I feel like there is really only one kinky man I love anymore. My "sometimes guy". The voltage just never cranks as high with anyone else. I find myself feeling apathetic towards the people who contact me because I'm looking for connection and that sort of instant spark and sense of adventure to engage in all the bad ideas.

Even the ones who look good on paper end up disappointing or being such "Do Me" queens that they aren't even close to worth it. Maybe it's as they say...stop looking and what you're seeking will find you.

So here is the thing...you're into me. You find me fascinating and attractive and I tick your boxes. How do I know this? Because you tell me. However, you do not elicit the same responses from me. If we interact it means I'm giving you my time. You get to experience a more personal side of me and I'm investing some of myself into you. If you earn it over time, I will exert dominance over you. But what are you giving back? Chances are, unless I'm REALLY into you, your submission is not enough. Taking punishment is not enough. Cleaning my home is not enough. Think about that.

Don't be a leech.

Don't bother talking to me if you're not going to send a recent face photo when I request it. Why do you even think I would put up with that? What kind of sorry excuse for a submissive are you? Obey or Leave. 

So, like...I was adding things to my wishlist tonight and I got on this streak. About 10 of the items were fishing gear of those, 3 were different weight test line. And I just sort of stopped and couldn't help but laugh, like "what the fuck is wrong with me?"...see, because this is a wishlist that subs are going to be seeing and when they see $2.16 fishing line, it's a far cry from the leather clad bitchy dominatrix fantasy I'm sure they're harboring in their little minds. I realized I was destroying this little fantasy by revealing that not only am I a real person, but I have a lot of diverse interests, some of which aren't very stereotypically feminine I guess.

Oh fuckin' well!

LOL

I need a houseboy, to clean. Sissy maid costume a plus but not required. You just have to be local to the Inland Empire and be able to do a good job cleaning. Message me if you're seriously interested. Age not an issue.

Attraction is often so one-sided here, at least initially. You want me; I vaguely acknowledge your existence as another human being, the same as billions of others on this planet. You aren't special. Yet.

One time is not enough. You have to keep going or I may lose interest and shut you out again. What do I have to lose? Nothing.

More times than I like to admit, I have made exceptions or been flexible on things I should not have been flexible on. It's been eight months since I released my last submissive and while there has been no shortage of interest, I still haven't found someone that I feel is right for me. Part of this is because I'm becoming less flexible with my standards and I have said standards for a reason.

Growing up, I think many young women are taught not to be shallow about looks. Maybe this ties in with how we are taught about sexuality. Attraction and physical desire are downplayed and we're encouraged to give more weight to the mental and emotional, as well as someone who can take good care of us. while those things are important, I actually feel that discounting attraction so much is a disservice. I wonder sometimes if frigidity in women, as has been the common stereotype, has more to do with women just not being attracted to their men once the rose-colored glassed come off. So, point being, I want someone I find attractive.

I'm also looking for someone closer to my age. I've become more and more intolerant of people who ignore my age requirement because I find it disrespectful of my desires. My last sub was in his early 40's and it quickly became annoying. I could feel the age gap and I didn't like it.

Other things which are basic...I want someone who has their life together and can keep it together. I'm not looking for a fixer-upper sub, ya know? I believe in sticking together through good times and bad but that's only after the time has been put in. Otherwise a person becomes like a stone tied around my neck, dragging me down. Trust me, I will cut my losses and move on before I let someone do that to me. I learned that unconditional love does not happen overnight and that love itself can be killed by resentment. The resentment towards a person who can't or won't get their shit together to be a responsible and fully functioning adult, living an adult life. I want to be someone's Domme, not their mother, for Christ's sake, lol.

I also believe that chemistry is vital. There are three centers of chemistry, which are similar to attraction...the mental, the emotional, and the physical. I believe we need to click on all three and strongly so. Sometimes people only have chemistry in one or two areas but they still try to make it work. There's always a feeling of lacking though. Because there is a lack thereof. And it effects EVERYTHING. It's a ripple effect that spreads to everything else and is either silently suffered with or loudly protested against, destroying the harmony of the relationship.

The last thing I've learned is one I'm not so sure about---a standard not set in stone. See, I know in a few years I'll move on from my current location. I'm only here for school and once that's done, I'll be long gone. Ideally I want a sub who has the courage and devotion to follow me. I want to be the first priority. I'm looking for someone to place me before themselves and really go the distance.

But at the same time, maybe a few years of solid service from someone I enjoy is better than nothing? Maybe it's better to part on good (albeit sad and expected) terms than to overlook a potentially rewarding connection? I haven't decided yet.

So...things to think about...

This place is so fucked up. I didn't put certain things on my profile and I tried to edit them out but when I view my profile, it shows them there. Things like "joining a poly household" and "Male Dom couples". Big fat NO on both of those. Yuck! I have zero interest in Doms and while I may one day build my own poly household, I sure as fuck have no interest in joining an established one. Stupid CM :/

Chances are if you are/have ever been involved in the SoCal kink seen, you may have unknowingly seen me in person. I am a decent-looking woman and I have a lot of character, although I'm not the kind who likes to be the center of attention in a crowd.

If you don't get out to events, well, all I can say is make the effort. Don't wait for 

Ms. Fabulous to come break you out of your shell. You need to at least have the balls to do that much. But let's not get sidetracked...

As I was saying, chances are you may have seen me around, if you get to events (a convention, a class, a dungeon party, a munch...even a kinky house party). And people know me, too. I'm very good at what I do, for those I spark with (and I rarely play with people I don't spark with).

My thighs are KILLING me this weekend!

I came home yesterday and I was having top drop pretty bad. I guess you could say I needed to give myself some aftercare. I don't think I've had top drop that serious in a long time.

We're going out this weekend, he and I. For fun and kink and a touch of protocol. No, you're not invited. It's been years since we've played and maybe a few months since we had drinks.

We used to be lovers. Now we're not, but I think I'll always love him. He never gave me a reason not to.

I did some shopping online tonight. $85+ of books on Amazon. Ergh. Shopping isn't always as fun when I'm spending my own money but in this case, I would have to insist on being the only one to pay. See, it was a birthday gift and birthdays are serious business. There've been a lot of birthdays these past couple of months. A veritable parade of them.

But to get back to it, yes, I'm going out to play. However, I won't play with anyone else there, I'm almost certain. I don't want to, either. But I'm sure some ridiculous man will sniff after me and expect my time. LOL. "Excuse me, I see you're with this other fellow but...would you like to fuck me in the ass?" "Why actually, I can't think of anything more repellent to me at this moment, thank you for asking. And might I say, I sincerely hope you're struck by a tanker truck on the way out to your car at the end of the evening!"

I know, I have such a bitey little sense of humor...

You know, kink isn't for everybody.

He's still haunting this site. He said he lost access to his other profile, though he has 3 or 4. And emails the same bullshit from all of them. FYI ladies, he'll lie to you. He's short and balding and has no style. He'll try to trick you into liking him and then reveal what he really looks like.

I blocked him because, ewww, gross! And not just the ugly balding part. I can't stand liars and in BDSM trust is one of the most important things we can have between eachother.

Just a quick note: If you are interested in me and I am interested in you, we will eventually meet when I decide it is right. But until that time, I do not want to be constantly reminded of your desire to meet up. I know you'd like to meet up. Otherwise we wouldn't be regularly communicating. But I decide when we will meet up, if ever, not you. I am looking for a strong connection and to feel comfortable with somebody. It usually takes a few months. If you're impatient, I will likely cut you loose, because that's irritating. If we do not establish a connection via email and I do not feel comfortable with you after that period of time or if anything seems fishy about you in any way, I won't meet you. My comfort and safety take first priority. 

I've been working out a lot lately because I want to tone up (school and constant studying isn't so great for being in amazing shape). Today I decided to try a thermogenic to kickstart things a bit. It's supposed to help you increase your workout time while burning more calories than you normally would.

So I'm in the gym doing my thing and I took it as directed. No much of a change except maybe I was sweating more. But then after I got back to my place...F-U-C-K-I-N-G HELL! I had soooo much energy! I did a load of laundry, scrubbed out my dog's crate, sorted through my Burning Man box (ugh, my boots need to be blacked like nobody's business), and organized the heck out of stuff. 

Settling down a bit now. Whew! Fun times :)

So...here's a thing...I hate the term "cis". I think it's very restrictive and can be misleading and inaccurate. Many trans people fucking love this word and refuse to give it up. I prefer the term "genetic male/female". See, cis basically means that your sex matches the gender you feel yourself to be, but that's problematic and here's why: not everyone who presents as whatever their sex is feels themselves to be that gender internally, but maybe they are simply not going to make efforts to make their outside reflect how they feel inside.

A trans girl recently told me that referring to women as genetic females could be seen as insulting (hmmm, and yet it doesn't even refer to her...it refers to people like me). I told her why I found the term cis offensive and why I don't identify with it. So we have to agree to disagree. But guess what? She (and any other person) does not get the right to define my gender identity. She does not get to decide what I should call myself. She has no way of knowing how I or anyone else identifies internally. 

"Genetic female" is a biological reality. You could tell that about me even if I was dead for thousands of years. Cis is a mental and social construct and not even a word which has been in existence for very long, as regards gender.

I won't bash her, because she's young and probably doesn't know better (yet) but some trans people are really ignorant and have a habit of believing what they want to believe, to reinforce their own reality as they like to see it.

Rainy Friday, sitting indoors with my dog, who burrowed under the covers. I need to run to the grocery store for brown sugar because I wanted to make banana bread this weekend but I'm feeling reluctant :/ Was supposed to go to Palm Springs with a male friend tomorrow but he got sick. I told my female friend she could come visit early instead.

On a side note, is there anyone (under 40, over 27) who would like to be my regular fetish club/munch date? I want to start going to events more but I absolutely hate going alone. I prefer heavier masochists but I can start lighter if you need that. You don't need to bring much, either. I have more than enough toys. You would just be responsible for all entry fees and tabs. 

I am particularly interested in finding a submissive date for Dom Con LA :)

Watched the cutest movie last night --- "Saint Young Men". It's about two young men on vacation and sharing an apartment in Tokyo. And these young men are Jesus and Buddha.

Finished the remaining episodes of Attack on Titan. It's a new series so now I have to wait. Booo.

In other news, rain storm this weekend. Spending Saturday with a friend and hitting some museums and having brunch and stuff. Then coming home and hosting a female friend for an overnight visit. Oh and foot boy is coming over tomorrow. Busy busy. I usually make myself somewhat presentable when foot boy comes over but I think tomorrow I will just be in pajamas because I'm feeling tired and lazy. Not that he cares. I have some of the most perfect feet he's ever seen and he always leave in a swoon of sub space, lol.

Sometimes I just really don't want to be bothered.

Nothing says "bitter loser" like not being able to handle rejection gracefully. Bullet dodged, eh? :P

On a different topic, Attack On Titan is soooo good. Shivers!

Karma is a beautiful thing. I found out that an ex of mine is busy emailing women, trying to get someone (ANYONE) to be interested in him, aaaaand...is failing miserably, hahaha!

He was a loser when we were together (we weren't together long) and had a pretty poor relationship track record. Didn't exactly have many ltr's under his belt (huge red flag, ladies) and he's now no longer such a spring chicken. All he really has going for him is a big dick but the sex wasn't even amazing, for all his endowment. He was dead weight and I'm glad I cut his sorry ass loose. Still, I can't help but chuckle at his current struggles. He'd basically have to pay/bribe a woman to get involved with him at this point and even still, she'd probably kick him to the curb as well as soon as the truth started to show through the lies (he put up a good front, which is the only way he was able to get my attention in the first place. Ahhh, good old fashioned lying!).

Good riddance to bad rubbish :P

It feels like a joke sometimes. This life...I wonder, I wonder what I'm doing. Can you see my soul in my words? Or maybe you don't have the sight to see, maybe you don't speak the language to understand, maybe the signs seem foreign.

I got tired of people. I got tired of looking (even though I never express interest first, because let's face it, I'm almost never interested first).

So it's later on a Friday night. Another migraine. I could feel the pulsing above my left eye near my nose bridge. It hurt more when I laid on my belly or side. I watched some sci-fi/thriller movie trailers. The frisson was really good. My nipples got hard as the tingles flooded my body.

But it's sad that trailers were all I had the attention span for tonight. I keep meaning to watch "Attack on Titan" but the motivation to get started is lacking. Isn't that sad? Lack of motivation to do something which will (hopefully) give me pleasure. Heh.

"Lifestyle Domina does not equal Pro without Payment!"

So true. Just like "girlfriend does not equal free hooker". In order to get what you want, be prepared to earn it. If you want play, know that you will need to convince me first and neither your body nor your sparkling personality nor your desire to do what I would insist you do anyways will be convincing. I expect Above and Beyond.

Darn, didn't win the lottery. Looks like I still have to keep going to school, haha. So much for my plan to buy an island and populate it with a harem of modelesque hung male slaves!

Such.a.long.day!!

I'm just going to lay down and die for a few hours now, lol. 

Trust is such an important thing. It takes time to build and even more time to regain, if once lost. It takes patience, understanding, and above all the desire to make amends over a period of time to regain trust.

So you want to be blackmailed, hmm...?

Men here can be exceptionally stupid. More so than men on vanilla sites. 

Tip: I don't care about you or what you want. We aren't friends; I don't know you. So sweeten the deal or go the fuck away. Cam slavery is perhaps the most pathetic of all. You get what you want, the Domme gets nothing. How is that interesting? It's not real Domination and submission, it's just make believe. I'm not going to be your free cam girl, LOL!

I need an ice cream slave. Baskin Robbins' chocolate fudge and love potion #31. Mmmmm...

FEED ME, SEYMOUR!

My panties have been so wet lately, I wonder what it could be. Musky puss-scented damp panties. Want a sniff?

IQ test results were 160. It stills bugs me that I couldn't figure out some of the questions but I didn't want to spend all day on it either. Oh well.

It's interesting when people email out of the blue trying to get one over on me or say something negative. It doesn't happen often but seriously, what are they trying to communicate? It's like announcing they're some nutjob with a small penis. I'm not even offended. It's like seeing a crazy guy standing on the sidewalk ranting about how the world is gonna end any day now. Um, yeah pal, sure it is. And I keep on walking.

My new diet is killing me. I'm hungry and irritable all the time. Diet is probably the wrong word for this---starvation is more like it. Eating non-stop fruit and veggies and no more coffee even and I swear to God, I'm all teeth and claws. Nothing sates me.

When this is all over I'm going to have a massive prime cut steak, medium rare, and a bottle of shiraz.

Can you imagine a balding sissy or tgirl? LOL. How awkward trying to look feminine while attempting to cover up that male pattern baldness 0_o

I tend to prefer men in their 30's because I like to have generational things in common.

BTW, to all you pot smokers out there (of which I am not one, btw)...it's genetically modified and now Monsanto is looking to corner the market. LOL. I like it when people have to choose between their addictions and their "principles". You really see what people are made of then.

And usually the addiction wins. Because people are losers.

My footboy is sick today :( Again. Something has been going around. I told him I would have to just double up his visits to me in the future and put him to work on more than my feet (my bedroom needs painting, for example). He said he would be more than happy to. "At your service and addicted to your feet". Awww, such a sweetie.

I might be looking for someone long-term but that doesn't mean I'm not being served in the meantime. It doesn't mean I'm not having meaningful interactions. I'm beautiful, soulful, and experienced...it's not hard to find people who consider themselves lucky to submit to me, even if only for a little while. They show up on time, they do as they're told, no attitude, no backtalk, and they always remember their place. A sub who fucks up doesn't get a second chance. Fuck em, right? Bad subs make excuses, good subs make it happen. A sub who makes excuses is not ready to serve. They're worthy once they have their shit together and are ready to make the desires of their Dominant their #1 priority.

But anyways...

I've also been talking with other people and things are heating up. Oh my! We'll see where it goes. I don't like to settle. Connection alone isn't enough. But one thing is for damn sure...skype verification is REQUIRED now before meeting. Attractive boys only. I want outer beauty as well as inner beauty.

While I'm not into females, I'm especially not into ugly females.

Nobody can weave enchantment like me.

I want a man who wants to bleed for me and explore all those scary places in his mind. To push and be pushed.

I think I need to start spending more time on here, if I want to find what I'm looking for. However, CollarMe isn't what it once was. I feel like I've gone through most of the viable local options and I'm not at all interested in anything long-distance (for the most part). I had a sub in overseas briefly once and he was very generous but he was also a lying scumbag and there's no real D/s with a sub who will lie and go behind your back. But don't get me wrong---in the brief time that I had him, I got as much out of him as I possibly could. It was the only thing that justified my time spent on him in the end, you see? If he had been loyal it would have been a different story but as it stands, women sometimes have a certain intuition about that sort of thing. You see my point, I'm sure.

So local real-time D/s only. And that means going where the quality is.

Some of these 20-24 year old subs are soooo cute! Seriously, they are adorable and fit as well. And then I get emails from the 40+ in my bulk mail  (the ones I bother to open) and I recoil from my computer screen, lol.

If you're a submissive, you should be busting your ass to look good. It's just good service to provide a Domme with appropriate eye candy. Wax that unsightly body hair, keep your hair/teeth/skin/nails well maintained, and dress nicely. Taking some interest in men's fashion might help improve your appeal. So why not? I mean, you don't really want to serve some sloppy Domme who lives in sweat pants and tshirts, doesn't shave her armpits, and thinks makeup is only for job interviews....right? lol. So quid pro quo, boys.

I am open to chatting with respectful subs (on my time, not just whenever you hit me up though). However, if I am generous with my time, don't me regret it spending it with you.

Restless.

It's amazing the lies people will tell on here, to make a "product" seem more in demand than it is. Or in demand at all, when it isn't. You people...*smh*...let's face it, you're pretty much giving it away to anyone who asks. Elderly Domme, 18 year old Dom, ugly male submissive, bitchy female submissive...when any of these people try to front as if they are in demand, I think everyone else can safely call bullshit. Because it is bullshit.

Stop. Lying.

Insomnia lately. I should go to the gym more. It would probably help me sleep better :/

Possibly going to Vegas next week. Fun fun. Except sometimes I hate Las Vegas, lol.

I made myself a promise a little while back, that I would wait until today to do some things I needed to do, to wait and see if any of my efforts had been repaid. Sometimes we as Dominants need to wait and see vs. trying to do everything ourselves, forcing the outcome we want when maybe it wasn't meant to be that way.

But today was important and it needed to be acknowledged. 

So this guy writes to me and a few hours later deletes his account...? Weirdo.

I know the difference too when someone deletes their account and when they're just hiding it (usually because they want to look at your profile/stuff without you knowing and still be able to send/receive emails). Women might do this because they need a break from all the attention. Men do this because they're being stalkers ;P

It never fails to surprise, the ways in which people will come up with to stalk me. Ugh.

If I have the same problems with you over and over again but never with anyone else, it becomes glaringly obvious that you are the problem. And I don't tolerate problems.

I can make you feel immeasurably special or pathetically inadequate. But it all really depends on what you earn.

Picky. But available. 

D/s only, please.

I love trans females but girls, when you state in your profile that you are looking for an owner to transform you and feminize you and blah blah blah, I know that what you really mean 95% of the time is that you are looking for someone to pay for your surgeries and hormone therapy.

For the record, I am not going to do that for you. In fact, most genetic Domme women would not. It's not about whether we have the money or not. It's because 1) we would probably rather spend that money on something else, 2) you should really do that for yourself, and 3) it smacks of using someone (Us) as a means to an end (your transformation from male to female) and not actual submission.

I won't be rude and tell you to "go get a job" but I do want to make it clear that I see the ploy here and it won't work on me, so keep moving.

I have a lot to say in my profile. I like to think I'm reasonably well-spoken about it as well. Certainly the content is worth more than the arousing picture. 

I swear to God, there are some people I just want to fuck the shit out of for 3 days straight.

I only put one picture of myself on here for a reason but please understand that I can and will verify myself (and you) via skype or exchange many more photos if we ever get to the point of wanting to meet up. However, I am not going to verify myself for any random wanker who wants to see me. Get real. Nobody owes you anything.

There is one rule: Never EVER disappoint me.

Knowledge brings clarity, even as it brings heartache. And sometimes it brings an open door...

It's hard to sleep when you can't get the person you love off your mind because you can't be with them, can't touch them, just at the moment.

Hands gripping his hair, a collar around his neck, and our lips touching. Mmmm...

Just breaks my heart. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uMyCa35_mOg

I don't answer questions from the curious if you don't know how to ask politely. I have better things to do with My time and if you'd like even the hope of an answer, you should give Me at least a half decent reason to feel inclined to give you one.

Remember: We are not friends. You do not know Me. I am not messaging you, you are messaging Me. Behave accordingly or Go Away.

I asked a girl to marry me, she said no.

I said, “Is there someone else?”

She said, “There must be”.

It's always the things you want that you can't have. Ironic, isn't it?

If you worship me from a safe distance, you'll never have the opportunity to fuck it up.

I found someone wonderful. 

I want to call you a faggot and suck your lips.

Excuses are what people make when they are afraid to live. Adventures happen when the excuses are gone and you get up, get out of your comfort zone, and get out in the world.

Your chances to get to know me are so fragile, even for the most platonic of relationships. Unless you know me well, tread carefully.

Is it possible that vanilla men know more about chivalry then submissive men?

My time isn't for sale. While I can sometimes see my way to being spoiled and taking money off a willing pig, I still have to be persuaded that it's worth doing because money gets boring. I still have to be able to enjoy the interaction. I don't dance for dollars. 

One of the number one things I despise: Adult Babies.

People should never assume a journal entry of mine is about them because more then likely it isn't. It's not appropriate and really a bit vain.

More and more I simply delete emails which are not written with the proper protocol. I don't even read past the first line because I am already unimpressed.

We are not friends and I have no interest in being your friend. I am not here for equality.

I don't care how good you think you look, how much money you have, how many years you've been in the scene, or how much abuse you can take. If you don't know the proper way to address a Mistress than you need to move along.

I wish some transwomen didn't wear so much makeup. It makes them look like a Bratz doll and that isn't what real women look like at all.

In fact, the irony is that genetic females just are female, in female or male clothes, looking gorgeous or hideous. Most people can still tell we are female. Whereas for transwomen they seem to forget that subtly works in their favor more that making themselves into something like a cartoon version of a woman.

Dropped conversations midway through? Sure, why not...

Why would anyone call a complete stranger, even if that person is a submissive, a slut? How rude. Unless their profile specifies them as such and asks people who write to address them as such, it just seems like the quickest way to get someone to tell you to go Fuck Yourself.

It should be noted and understood that I am picky and demanding.

Who wants to go get pedicures together and have a sissy dress-up day?

Back after a long break. Much has changed.

People often say I'm adorable. Half the time they include "scary" in the same sentence. I have no idea why...but I'll take it ;P

On another note, I have a birthday coming up very soon. I need to put together a wishlist! Although I do know at least one thing I'd be thrilled to have...which is the 10-function vibrating egg that occassionally pops up on the Extreme Restraints banner here on CollarMe. Oh, the fun I could have with that!

Return-date: Mid April.