As children, I imagine we all had moments when our emotions got the best of us, precipitating an outburst that could only be defined as sad or laughable. That point where we spoke in haste without regard for, or a full understanding of, how foolish our words were in the view of others wiser and more mature. We count on the aging process and life experiences to temper those outbursts and supply the wisdom to be the harshest critics of our own behavior while encouraging others by example. That's not to say one shouldn't speak out when they observe something they find offensive.

In that spirit, I'm compelled to comment on two journal entries I read today.

Journal Entry One: "Do not mourn the death of teddy kennedy. do not reminicse on what a good man he was. he was an alcoholic adulterus murderer who used shady means to manipulate the laws of his own state and the nation to get his way. god will pass final judgement and he will sit in hell"

Journal Entry Two: "**Ding Dong the Prick is gone!!!** Burn in hell, Ted!"

No matter how you personally feel about Edward M. (Ted) Kennedy, these two journal posts speak volumes about their authors and nothing about their intended subject. To display such vituperation and condemnation devalues you personally.

Each and every one of us runs a balance sheet on life from the day we are born. We do good things and we make mistakes. The more aware among us try to balance the good with the bad, making amends when possible for our own transgressions, while looking past the failings in others to embrace their finer qualities. 

I'm sure the two posters have good qualities and are respected by their families. Today, however, they chose the low road, allowing a childish outburst and hatred to dominate their mind and self-control.

The mark of intelligence is the ability to disagree without being disagreeable.

SV

The older I get the more I become annoyed with the incessant need to augment almost everything to make it more appealing than what it was initially. I'm not sure when bigger, better, faster, longer, more intense or other modifications became necessary for something to survive and flourish as it was initially presented. Or, at the very least, so it bears some resemblance to the original.

Although doubtful, you might ask what prompted this post. Strangely enough it was Luciano Pavarotti performing Nessun Dorma [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0Sx5lbVlQA ] at the 2006 Olympics in Torino, Italy. While the setting was certainly spectacular, essentially it was Pavarotti and a microphone on stage with the orchestra in the shadows and the Olympic torch in the background. Without any doubt the focus was Nessun Dorma being performed as Puccini intended. No embellishment, no dancers, no smoke machines or flashing lights or audio engineers pumping up a weak voice to make the performance more than the sum of its parts.

If opera isn't your thing, and I know the majority have already moved on to the next journal entry, then take a look at Bobby Hatfield singing Unchained Melody [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrK5u5W8afc&feature=related ] by the Righteous Brothers. Again, Mr. Hatfield, a microphone and an incredibly pure voice performing a song without augmentation. None is necessary. It would only detract from the beauty of the original.

It's time to put down the whips and clamps, toss the ropes and gags into the corner and examine what is inside the mind. The lifestyle has become far too obsessed with toys, fetish clothes, and other visible trappings while losing sight of where Dominance and submission exists. There is an inherent beauty in the D/s dynamic that is all its own. Augmentation can be fun at times, but it's the purity and core principles that allow a D/s relationship to stand the test of time.

I've seen quite a few recent journal entries where the poster has copied and pasted their encounter with one of the many bots that reside on CM. Nobody is going to argue creators of the bots are a pretty ingenious group. Anytime you have a place a group of people gather, especially a place like CM which has a disproportionately high percentage of needy people looking to satisy a desire for companionshop or to develop a relationship, bot writers rub their hands together like someone striking the motherload.

Sure, a well programmed bot can draw in the most cautious user for a one line exchange. Maybe two lines if the programmer is really exceptional. If you're a heavy drug user, drunk, or think your personality is so magnetic that simply everyone wants to engage you in conversation then three or more exchanges are possible.

Here's what I don't get. Even if the poster falls into the three line plus exchange category, why in the world would you post the entire conversation for everyone to read? I even saw one where the poster realized it was a bot after the second exchange, said as much in their response (which is bizarre enough), then went on for another dozen exchanges as if they could reason with what they had already determined was a bot.

This must be some new form of self-inflicted humiliation. Has CM added 'Bot Humiliation' to the loves, likes, curious, hard limit selections? I suppose it's only a matter of time before the Pro Bots and Tribute Bots spring up to ease the workload of the poor, put upon 'professional' CM scammers. I can't wait for the first messages to appear from the subs/slaves proclaiming their undying love, devotion, and service to their Bot Dominant.

SV

I received a note the other day questioning why the only item related to BDSM activities I had listed in the 'likes, dislikes, tolerates, curious about, hates' section of the profile was Mental Bondage. It's pretty damn simple. The mind is where everything related to D/s begins. I can hear the scoffing and whispers of 'bullshit', 'he's an idiot', and 'just because he's old and can't get it up anymore' starting already, but hear me out.

One of the real tragedies in the last decade or two is the popularization of this lifestyle. All of a sudden it bacame 'trendy' and started to attract the attention of many that saw the chance to belong to something they knew nothing about. Unfortunately, without a knowledge of the core principles of the lifestyle, it isn't a desire to learn, serve, and take responsibility for anothers happiness and well being that takes precedence. The focus is suddenly on the glitz and flash, the toys that are popular in play, and the many fetishes that are but a very small part of the entire lifestyle.

Sadly, the sudden media exposure and cheesy portrayals of the lifestyle in sensationalized movies and videos brought in thousands of people that were no more dominant or submissive than a jar of mustard. Suddenly anyone that had the purchase price of a flogger or whip could call themselves a dominant and inflict untold amounts of damage on the unsuspecting. Equally sad, in their quest to belong and be a part of something, there was no shortage of people willing to submit themselves to self-labeled dominants with absolutely no self-control.

Had my original questioner read my likes and dislikes a bit more carefully instead of just scanning for buzzwords like bondage, humiliation, or some sort of play they would have seen 1950's Household listed as well. It's purely my opinion, but a household encompasses all the responsibilites of both the dominant and the submissive. It isn't a static, one sided affair where one says jump and the other asks how high. It's interactions, responsibilities, and
duties rooted deep in the mindest of both parties.

When both people in a relationship have the 'what can you do for me' mindset it has ceased to be a healthy relationship. Put the whips, crops, clamps, and floggers away for a while and work on the space between your ears. Mental bondage is the glue that binds and it's not a one way adhesive.

SV

I leaned back in my chair this evening, thumb and index finger resting along my jawline as I watched the images of Walter Cronkite flash by on the screen. As bad as times have been at points in our history, I always found Mr. Cronkite's delivery to be infused with a sense of sobriety and assurance. He instilled a sense in me that no matter how grim a situation may seem, we are always in control of our reactions to a situation.

At the same time, his unbridled joy at the accomplishments of people willing to push themselves beyond accepted boundaries was uplifting and pleasurable. It's possible his demeanor contributed nothing to the way I view this lifestyle. Then again, perhaps it had more to do with it than I'll ever realize.

Rest well, Mr. Cronkite. You've earned your place in our heart and minds, and I for one will miss your calm strength and sense of reason.