softjoyel on Collarspace


	softjen		softjulie4


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	So a little about me. I'm 5'3 around 170 pounds with long black hair and brown eyes. I am seeking to transition to a woman but at the moment I have to work as a male because of the area I live in. Short version of that story is that no one in my area will employ someone who is Transgender. I am a bit of a nerd. I enjoy gaming, writing, playing my violin and doing some photography. In short I like things that can let my creative mind explore and get lost in various worlds. I also just like things that make me think. Case and point my favorite show is Mythbusters. I have learned many things for that show. As far as relationships go. The best way I can describe what I'm looking for is I want to be someone's combat medic. What I mean by that is life is in many ways a fight and struggle. Even when there's not a horrible event life can be hard. I want to be his support and comfort. Someone he knows will never kick him when he's down rather who will do her best to heal the damage the world has done. At the same time I said combat because I don't just want to hide safe and sound where nothing bad happens. I will be there beside him through the worst of it. Just that my role is one of support, healing and comfort. I'll let him lead and fight and stand between us and the pain. I want to keep my husband strong healthy and happy. While he keeps me safe. I know that sounds kind of vanilla but I promise you it's not. That is the kind of love I want. I want to be what my husband needs. If that means he needs to tie me to the bed and fuck me till I cry so be it. If he needs to gently hold be the fire I'm fine with that too. I am a pure submissive. I don't need a dom. I need to be submissive and support the man I love. I will say that I do get more enjoyment out of being powerless and controlled but that is my desire and as such comes second to my love's needs. == Results from bdsmtest == 99% Submissive 98% Rope Bunny 88% Degradee 81% Pet 79% Primal (Prey) 77% Slave 65% Exhibitionist 57% Experimentalist 51% Brat 34% Vanilla 32% Voyeur 23% Non-monogamist 21% Masochist 20% Girl/Boy

4/13/2016 3:50:45 PM

**Thoughts from a Submissive Mind**

So I am rather new to this site and I wish I would have found it years ago. I can only imagine how different things might be for me now. I enjoy writing so I thought, "Why not start a Diary on here?" A place to share my thoughts safely.

One thing that I have noticed since creating my profile. Is that there are as many opinions on what a D/s relationship should look like as there are Doms and subs. All of them I believe are valid as who am I to say my point of view is the correct one? Humans have a tendency to label everything. To categorize and place things neatly in a box. It's how we understand the world around us. It's how we function. Without it we do not know what to expect and the world become an unknown place. And for many the fear of the unknown is what drives them. Hell we even have words for things we can not comprehend just so we're not scared of it anymore.

So I understand why there are so many labels in the BDSM world and why many people are adamant about what those labels mean. Much of the BDSM world is closely tied to fear. The control, enjoyment, power of fear. So it's natural that we want the labels to be clear so that the fear can be beneficial rather than destructive.

However in that I feel we lose something. We are all humans. And the only box a human ever neatly fits into is the one custom built for them to enter their final rest. Oddly enough some choose even in death to not fit into a box but to be turned to ash and "set free". So is it really all that surprising when none of us really cleanly fit into a role?

I do consider myself submissive but if you spend any time talking with me you'll find my definition of both Dom and sub has far more to do with the heart and mind than the body. For me my Dom doesn't need to tie me down in order to restrain me. That's just for show and our sensations. What holds me in place is my desire to give him what he needs. If I struggle it's because I know he likes it. If I hold still again it's because he needs me to.

I have seen a few profiles on here of Dom's making statements similar to "I am not your boyfriend or husband." Or "We're not a couple or an item. You're a thing." While that is one kind of Dom I feel like they miss out on something. I feel for those Dom's as I think they're neglecting a large part of the D/s relationship. To put it simply... Love.

For them it may just be a kink, or it might also just be part of a degrading kink/session, and if so I hope they enjoy it. However if they honestly view their subs in that fashion as less than them rather than a part of them. They will never understand how a sub can make a Dom cry and the deep level of pleasure, intimacy, trust and respect that comes from that kind of relationship. Physical submission is a kink and fun. Willful submission of the heart and mind is rare, beautiful and powerful. Never underestimate a sub who willing gives their all to you. You might just find yourself holding her like a treasure crying with a mixture of joy and pleasure because of what she just did for you. And I do mean a sub... not a switch.