Today was a very big day for me. I FINALLY .. for the first time...
Got lost in sensations.. Mental sensations..
(Hmmm.. Mind you I never write in here because I am awful at explaining myself..)
I am a self described pain whore.. I Love getting completly lost in that headspace..
Well I am learning, that I don't need the physical act to get lost in the sensation... I can focus on the feelings I hsave when I am being flogged, electrocuted, lit on fire.. Those feelings.. Being unsure of what is next.. the anxious.. flustered.. unsure.. so willing..raching heart.. breathing through things.-. all those emotions..
Focusing on the way I feel when my tears are streaming down my cheeks and the breath is being choked out of me..
Was enough to get me on the edge.. It was amazing.
Amazing... |