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SmartAssNJ


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	I had to redo this profile...Let me start out by saying... I am Married. � I want someone who truly understands the idea of mental slavery and ownership. I can get naked, have sex, or perform for anyone...So because you have Ma'am or Master in your screen name does not mean I am going to do what you ask. Nor does it mean I will address you as such. Am I out to offend?� No. It is just me. I have a strong desire to be controlled..And yes...sometimes I am a little girl too. I don't know why.. I just am. I am still on a journey of self discovery .. more working on the self acceptance part now. I am a horrible communicator ..But I really do have so much to say. I confuse myself sometimes. Another reason why the mental is so important for me.. I need someone inside of my head....I want to find that special person that sees my potential..and wants to get inside of my head...learning more about me tan I know... � �

5/23/2011 7:15:16 PM

Today was a very big day for me. I FINALLY .. for the first time...

Got lost in sensations.. Mental sensations..

(Hmmm.. Mind you I never write in here because I am awful at explaining myself..)

I am a self described pain whore.. I Love getting completly lost in that headspace..

Well I am learning, that I don't need the physical act to get lost in the sensation... I can focus on the feelings I hsave when I am being flogged, electrocuted, lit on fire.. Those feelings.. Being unsure of what is next.. the anxious.. flustered.. unsure.. so willing..raching heart.. breathing through things.-. all those emotions..

Focusing on the way I feel when my tears are streaming down my cheeks and the breath is being choked out of me..

Was enough to get me on the edge.. It was amazing.

Amazing...

5/5/2011 8:49:31 PM

So many people say they want metal control. So FEW are actually capable of it.