If you're not the one for me

then how come I can bring you to your knees? 

If you're not the one for me

then why do I hate the idea of being free? 

https://youtu.be/NgNqpsWE-o0?si=f1ehkl2SrtMj5S2O

I know it screams 80s, I know his hair! I know it's sappy as all get out...but, damn....Just remember this, nothing heals a broken heart like time, love, and tenderness. 

https://youtu.be/P1ove2eoles?si=9Q223JzTKdD7WKVY

Would you fuck me before we go to the Louvre, to spend a blissful afternoon viewing the Red Room installations? Or would you wait until afterwards? 

Just curious. 

I long to have both the ownership the passion of giving the freedom of use and the security of safety with the man that I belong to and trust implicitly. Someone I can be devoted to, grow with, walk alongside, sleep next to, but always put him first, serve and give my love to. Forever. 

But ha! I also know that's a tall order, a huge idea. 

But a girl can dream, eh? 

Long for is probably too mild of a word...but crave isn't the right word either, as my need isn't craven or out of control, it's measured, desired, planned, developed. 

I'm at heart a kitten, a babygirl, searching for her Daddy. Not an age play Daddy tho, and I have hard limits about age play, diapers, too much little play, etc. But if you are a strong, thoughtful, intelligent, kind and caring Dominant who is looking for a devoted intelligent sexy funny healthy kitten to serve take care of and love you, then you've found me! 

Do I have faults? Do you? Of course we do. But we work on them and grow, we always talk, we don't mind fuck each other, we have emotional and psychological intelligence to go along with our strength of character. But you lead, and I follow. 

I've never had this, not even close. I've had many Doms of course. But I've always been the one who ends up leading, who knows, who does the right thing, who laughs, who isn't afraid to fail, the one to cry and forgive. The one to stand and walk away. 

Will you let me be me, your girl, your slut, your kitten? Will you be my number 1? My Dominant? My man? My love? 

Here's looking at you, Sir. 

I get asked about the NC and CA location listings in my profile a lot, so let's address it here. Hopefully some of you will read this. 

I live in mid-state North Carolina. 

I travel to the SF Bay area of CA many times a year, often staying for weeks at a time. It's where I used to live for over 20 + years and I have family there as well. 

So, I list both locations, because I'm not opposed to meeting someone in either location, as long as they are also flexible about it. Actually, I think it's the best of both worlds! 

Dear Santa, 

All I want, or need, for Christmas, is a loving, kind, thoughtful, educated, and healthy Dominant. I can offer him all that in return too, and all sorts of other fun and sexy adventures and attributes :-) I'd go into the details, but I don't want the elves reading any naughty notes! 

I've been a REALLY good girl for awhile now; worked on myself, kept up my girlish figure, learned a few hard life lessons. Won't you send me my heart's desire? Pretty please, Santa? I'd be forever devoted to him and make him a very happy man and Dominant! I promise!

Sincerely, 

Kitten 

I read over my profile, again, today, as I have many times since I created it anew.

I've tried very hard over the years to make my profile on FL be realistic, vulnerable, intelligent, reflective of who and what I am at my core, and just as importantly, to have it reflect what I want to have in my life.  To let it give someone who doesn't know me, either well or even at all, a solid idea of myself, my body, my mind, my soul. 

The more I looked over it these last few months, the more I often changed it, inserting more intellectual references and suave self assured witticisms, but still I saw what it lacked. 

The more I saw and felt the only true and right and beloved deion it could and should contain was...love. 

The joy of caring, the elation of sexual union, deep and abiding compassion, the sensual act of touch, the smell and taste and sounds of affection, the respect of intimate and unflagging positive human regard, the vision of altruism, the singular romance of knowing you are and you can and you do and you need and you give that one precious wonderful thing that we all need in our lives; love. 

It often seems to me in our kinky little corner of the universe there isn't much talk  of that kind of love in profiles anymore, even though it also can take many shapes and forms; love of rope, love of play, love of sexual adventures. I hope we all will list more love and loves in our profiles. It's never too late. I'm not going to change my profile again though, please don't worry.  

Let this note stand from this day forward as my more than official confirmation of my own proclamation to need want desire make spread create admire demonstrate dream bring deliver give ask understand and embrace more...

LOVE. 

Since I can't edit my profile without a long wait for approval, I'll add this here. 

I'm looking for both a kinky and vanilla, and sex and love relationship within a Dominant submissive or possibly a Master slave dynamic. 

A lot of contacts I get here are from Dominants who seem to have missed that L word! 

I'll give you a little hint too. 

I get a LOT of contacts here. Many are polite and interested in me, at least until they realize I'm not gonna show them my junk on cam within the first 24 hours after they say they are a real true Dom! LOL

So often the proof is in the engagement, the talking, the conversations, the eventual move off of this platform to one where we can take the next steps. 

I should not be expected to carry that load myself. Matter of fact, I expect the Dominant to take the lead here after all they contacted me. If I say yes, I'd like to get to know you, I expect conversation, asking questions, sharing FetLife profiles, etc. etc. etc. whatever it takes to see and feel if there is a common and mutual spark worth pursuing. 

I of course have many of my own questions and comments and I will most certainly share those. 

I WANT to find my man/Dominant/Master! So this should be a labor of love for both of us.

I look forward to hearing from you! 

She wanted to ask him, needed to hear the answers...but all she could feel was the electricity flowing between them again, the current wide and strong, as she dissolved into him, into his breathing, the touch of his hand on her belly, gentle now, different from this morning when she already was completely submerged into him and his grasp was warm and solid, strong...she got up from the chair, still fixed on his eyes, those dark and stormy eyes!, and went and stood before him. Nearly silently she took off her flip-flops, and disrobed as he watched; then her yoga pants with a steady movement, followed by her sleeveless white top, and then her sports bra. She stood silent and naked. It always felt like he was ready to plug into her; the faucet was open and running non stop between them, full on, it was intoxicating. He hadn't moved yet, but that burning look in his eyes spoke volumes, nearly rupturing her and laying her flat, as her ego started to disappear and she felt herself flatten out and bow to him, so she could be his canvas, the spaces on her body that he would mark as his, in ownership. 
He finally stood up, facing her, nearly touching her, and unbuckled and unzipped his pants, dropping them to his knees, and pulling his t-shirt over his head. His cock was already erect, and it sprang out between them, as she smelled his scent, ripe and masculine. He sat back down in the chair and she immediately kneeled in from of him. He ran his fingers through her hair, they were soft and expressive as they slowly tightened, and with a simple pull, moved her face over his waiting cock, pausing, holding her head there, as she breathed his virility again, wave after wave of his delicious and erotic scent flaring her nostrils and making her nearly gasp...She involuntarily opened her mouth as he lowered her head over his cock, her tongue encircling it automatically, gently, softly, lovingly...it was always like this, she thought…no words spoken, just the visceral sexuality between them as an answer…

...I long for that hand around my shoulder and neck, to the small of my back, on my hip, around the lower curve of my ass, hands pulling me instantly nearer to his warm body, his firm and encompassing embrace, as I feel myself start the slow melt of aligning with his desire for taking me in any way he wants. It’s like easing into a hot bath, as you slide into the warmth of the water you feel yourself succumbing to the pleasure of the senses, your sensuality igniting, for him, you’re responding, flowing, moving against his maleness, curving inward, kissing, touching, smelling, enfolding his sexuality into mine to give him all my pleasure to make his, to become his once again. 

I don’t know what he will do. I’m not sure what direction he will go. I’m not seeking clarity or anticipating that; I’m his, I’m all his female, feminine, willing, responsive, arching, moaning, his passion fills my body as I crave, rejoice, wallow in the building wetness of my body and mind’s receptiveness to him. For him. To have him make me his. Mark me with his pleasure. Bond me to him. 

Possession. Control. Domination. 

My longing for him is a song, hummed, then sung, a building of pleasures in all the myriad of our earnest senses going, pointing, thrusting, to his powerful crescendo...

It's like I've been out and living in the desert for a long number of years. I'm used to, and so used to that I really don't even mind anymore, the way my skin feels a bit dry all the time, the way the coolness descends like a curtain after the sun sets, the excessive heat during the day, the way I go through chapstick because my lips are always, just ever so slightly, parched. It's the desert after all, and so I tell myself that. Don't expect it to be any different that you know what it is.
And I'm always thirsty! Everything is dry. Even the people I meet in the desert, that forsaken place, for the most part, are either mirages, as I've painfully learned over the time I've been here, or they just make me even thirstier than I was before. Usually both. 

Then, one time, as I'm wandering around this desert, trying to feel youthful by aligning myself with the beauty of another day, the light breeze on my face in the early morning, walking into a new part of the desert that I've not seen before, I see some flowers and plants and even a small tree up ahead of me...I shake my head, thinking, knowing! it's a mirage like they all are...I walk towards it, and upon my arrival I'm completely and utterly surprised to see it's a small spring! I get down to take a closer look at the small pool of water that is continually replenished by the upwelling spring...it's so incredibly lovely! And it makes such a beautiful sound! I lie down next to it...and close my eyes, and realize that's it been so very, very long since I heard and saw something that's really just a part of me, water, a part of my body, it's water after all! In and an integral part of each one of us, not just me, but all of us, that I become so sad I start crying. I cry and cry, because I now remember water! I remember the sound! I remember what it does to have it in my life, in any form, in any quantity...how it made and makes me feel young, and refreshed, and alive, and growing! I cry because I remember and I know I should have never, ever let myself get so dehydrated. So dry and parched and withered without the life-giving water. 

Love is that spring. Love is that water. I hope never again to forget about the water.