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Sirrea

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Friends:
Rodrenmngmacxx1wildfire80testoss
EWmixerroperegulusrick1953cheyennebraveleatherMaster93
MasterDomPaulourmasterbearSir2BObeyedbadideaDarkWolf1369
madxxMASTERC4slavebcooprwildfiremasterNewYork38
MadDog48Nemobarkozeba

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Now Hopefully this get the point across to others that seems They Can Not read or just don't give a damn to read. A other thing I have no problems if Your a switch but I'm getting sick of others thinking I'm a Switch, Am Not. So please Read the profile before contacting me.


I believe in myself, first and foremost. If I did not believe in myself how could Anyone believe in me, trust in me. That is not to say that I am not sometimes unsure, or afraid, or anxious (smiles – who isn’t sometimes?), but I believe in who I am – a submissive.
The journey to being able to submit, willingly, completely and lovingly is not an easy one. For me, there were many twists and turns. I had to do a lot of soul searching, spend a great deal of time finding out about me. I had to learn to trust myself.
I’ve been thinking about what submission means to me. It means giving control of myself to another. Emotionally and psychologically as well as physically. It’s a need deep within me – something I have to give to do. It is not just about the play but also about serving. It’s about being the best that I can bethat I am learning more and more about myself and what it means to me. While it is scary to think of giving control over to someone else it is at the same time quite liberating. To me it means giving myself serving you totally, completely, honestly and willingly.
It means knowing who is in charge– to put my trust in so that I don’t question your motives. It means that I am secure enough in myself to give that control and not lose my identity or myself. It means having the freedom to give all that I am, to you I have a very submissive nature and feel a strong need to help others but I am also keenly aware and interested in the sexual aspects of submission
For me, being submissive comes from my heart – I cannot fake it, act it or simply role play it. I may be more submissive online – and I recognize that in scenes that is quite common. I believe my submission is a gift to be valued and cherished .
The need to submit is not borne out of fear. It is borne out of need. Fulfilling that need gives me freedom.

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6/28/2011 1:09:11 AM

New Highlights in my life I bred two out of three of my Mares to this beautiful palomino

paint.Their be having April and May foals. I can't wait. My one mare is a Golden palomino my other is a dark gray paint. I'm hoping to get a chestnut paint or blue paint. Already got names picked out One will be Gold Rush..the other  Sun-dance


3/9/2011 4:36:33 PM

Just wondering if someone can explain this to me

My sister was beating up by her low life husband i mean bad enough she had go to the ER.Ended up with a broking nose,fractured back,black and blue eyes.And was dead set on leaving Him for three weeks.He even threaten He was going kill their 3 month old baby and his 4 yr step daughter,and make her watch.Will He ended up convicted of the crime and got 3 to 5 yrs in boot camp,BUT every letter I've been able to read from him to her He'll be out in 7 months and She is going back.I'm scared to death I'm going ended up burying her and the kids.Or am i just holding grudges?


1/29/2011 9:53:19 PM

My formal Master die of lung cancer on 1-26-11  He maded me swear i would not cry for him but yet i couldn't keep that promise. I just wished he pop online and even if we argued that be alright. Missing Him so very very much,and i swore i never submit ever again and i intend to keep that promise.


12/7/2010 11:01:16 AM

Today is my b-day and i so recall what my Mother use to tell me,The Japense bombed pearl harbor and years later You bombed me. If i was granted One wish, it be to have One more day with my Mom to tell her how specail She was and that She was My shining Beacon

 

So day I saddle up Coco and roded to that specail place even if it was bitter cold,and the winds was like a iceberg. I need to go and sit under that Tree and just recall everything about my Mom.I believe Coco knew since she was nuzzling me ever few seconds.And my pit would place Her paw on my knee like to say we are here,we understand


11/27/2010 11:01:58 PM

ell went riding yesterday for the first time in weeks cause of the cold weather.But maded a mistake and pushed my new Mare coco after she reared a few times.So pissed her off She was fine for a bit then decided.Since the rearing didn't fighten me she go right into become a damn Bronoc.I managed to stay on for 5 or 6 good bucks but lost the battled and landed on my back.On the way down my right ankel got tangled up and now I'm sufering from tore legments.have go to a specailizes Mon to find outwhen He'll do surgery.Well tis stop me from riding again? Hell NO


11/11/2010 9:02:17 PM

Today really sucked,went to work for a whole two hours and then got called to a meeting.In tis meeting I was suspended for awhile not sure how long or if I'll go back


10/29/2010 9:34:49 PM

Well not sure if i can get up from tis One, i have raised my lil angel since birth and she now going on 4 yrs old Nov the 17th. Just got serve saying She wll be going back to her mom on Nov the 18. I so want be happy for my sister yet I feel as if my heart as been cruel toring from my chest and just shedded.


10/25/2010 8:15:01 PM

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR bad day arguing with the One that use to own me,though He thinks its fine to toss crap in my face but how dare i bring up lies i caught him in. Nope not going back im though with the pity crap. The only thing it well be double hard to get me to trust ANY DOM


10/15/2010 11:11:52 AM
Well i knew for years I've had curpal tunnel syndrome now in my right wrist but refused to under go the surgery. Now its getting to the point I have either wear the stupid brace or be in server pain 24/7. I either pop Morton or a other pain med so I don't rip peoples heads off at my job. But now its inferring with what i enjoy most riding horses. 

10/8/2010 3:56:42 AM
Well a flipping 6 hrs off from work yea!!!! got sleep 5 hours and get up at this crazy hour.Just gotta wonder if my Boss thinks I'm a machine that needs no rest at all

10/7/2010 12:04:58 PM
So very very tired just been working a lot and not anytime for myself.Free time is either spent sleeping or taking care of my horses.

10/1/2010 9:32:23 PM
Well as i said i brought a new horse a few weeks ago. a 6 yr old Missiour Trotter. But after hearing she was heading to slaughter my heart just went out to her. although she stands 16.5 hands and even with a saddle i still have use a bucket to get my foot into the stirrup, sooooooooooooo forget bareback on her anyways

9/28/2010 1:13:53 PM
Let me make it perfectly clear I'm here for freinds only. I do not want or desire a owner

9/27/2010 7:49:08 AM
Well released again I should knew better then ever going back to Him.And it really bugged me that He wanted me to buy His cigs with my own money. When supposely He owns two night clubs. Hell I didn't shed one tear this time not after Him telling me that my horses would be the first to go if I got into financal trouble. well one thing is I've had them over 9 nine well two of them and none are for sell their my four legged kids.Anyhow picked up a other one She been abused and nelgected its time to show her not all humans are bad.

8/15/2010 10:16:59 PM
Knowning myself better then anyone else plus the news I got a few hours ago.I've decided its best i stay hidden from everyone including my own Master until i come to terms how to handle the news. Right now i want scream, then just curl up into a tight ball and cry until i can cry no longer. I can't believe my sister is marring that thing tomorrow,just cause she is carrying His baby but yet He has told her serveral times its not His. I want to yell and tell her your marrying Him for all the wrong reasons. Your young and think what He is doing is Love but its abuse emotionally and phyiscal. So right now i want to just push everything and everyone I love away from me.Already rammed my fist into a wall,I so want get plastered but not allowed to SOMEONE wake me from tis terrible dream PLZ

8/8/2010 9:43:34 PM
Well as most knows i'm back with my Master,and loving every mintune of it being back with him.Has maded my heart skipping a beat once again annnnnnnnnnnd god his sexy damn voice is enough to make me cream my panties. Im whole once more even though we hit heads still i have learned to curve my tongue,now if i can manage to get my punishments done on time

8/1/2010 6:06:38 PM
I so want to write my ex-Master and tell Him how bad He hurt me. Just to get things off my chest more or less, but would it truely matter to HIM? Not sure anymore He use to really listen and i thought truely cared.Other question is would i go back to Him if He asked me? That's a hard one cause I can't lie even though He tore my heart out I miss Him and still love Him,silly Huh? But yet on the other hand did that mistake 3 different times with a other Master and in the end got my world crushed under my feet until i thought i had no more in me.

7/29/2010 7:59:07 PM
I'm flat out done tonight was the straw that broke the camel's back.I finally meet up with the One that vanished on me for 5 months.And got into a heated disagreement and of course it was MY fault that i had no way of gettin in contract with him, when He changed His phone number.My bad i guess He just came back to make sure my heart was honestly shedded to no ended. Funny part is i still honestly love Him but I'm not His doormat where He can leave me for months on end. Hurt beyond belief tonight.

7/25/2010 10:21:19 PM
I'm done looking for a Dom,all Dom's do is rip your heart out then sheds it into tiny lil pieces.Was hoping and waiting to see just maybe my last Owner missed me like i yearned for Him just to watch Him come online with a nice slap in the face. Yes i would went back to Him in a heartbeat. So just here for friends nothing more.


6/30/2010 9:58:26 PM
Just going though a very hard time right now,trying so hard not to just say fuck it all. My older sister is blaming me for our Mother's death. I was the only one that took care of her for 8 yrs. I'm the only one who fought not to put her in that nurses home cause i knew she just give up she always told me so. and i swore to her she never go, I'm guilty of losing the battle in court. Hell i even gave up on my LPN license.

6/24/2010 10:58:00 AM
Laffs~ I've been called everything now beware I'm a Fake,just cause I don't answer all my mail.My opinion if you don't catch my intersect why should i lead you on?

6/11/2010 9:51:25 AM
I feel as if i got hit with a semi-truck..My mare Ashanti thought it be fun to see, how i good i could bounced hitting the area ground yesterday.Sometimes i believe she is the boss and I'm, just there for the privilege of riding her.

6/6/2010 11:00:35 PM
Is it insanity to miss the One master that acted as you was invisible but yet can't seem to forget HIm

11/9/2008 9:59:59 PM

A slave is a truly enraptured and enrapturing creature, capable of the greatest pain and the deepest passion. She is a temperamental creature, simultaneously fickle in her emotions, and fiercely, ferociously devoted in her affections. She is tumultuous and tempestuous, a mercurial maelstrom, and she knows no other way to be. If she could, she would not change, because, on some primeval level, she realizes that the death of her passion would be the death of her.

In truth, a slave is not simply the finest of all creatures; she is the epitome of all creatures. She combines strength and weakness, boldness and a certain shy innocence, languor and desperation; she is both cosmopolitan and na?. Her nature is an amalgam of all that is passionate in any sense of the word. She is nothing without an owner, but in his arms, she is all things.

She is voracious and demanding, wanting nothing more, and certainly nothing less, than the absolute enslavement of the one she loves--the owner of her soul. She cannot be, will not be, and is incapable of being completely happy, until she knows to the very depths of her being that her owner is, in truth, owned by the reality of owning her. She longs for the completion of a partner in her own rapture/misery.

If you beat her, she will smile at you through her tears, because you have reaffirmed for her your ownership, your innate right to mistreat her if you please. If you kiss her, she will bite you, begging you with her passion to own her again, and more completely this time.

She is dangerous and daring. Self-preservation will never be her strong suit. She will beguile you to her last breath, knowing that without you, she cannot breathe at all. Her vulnerability will appall you with the knowledge that you could never-- would never-- allow anyone that close to you, and at the same time, arouse in you every protective instinct you posses, to see that no one ever ravages this state of her-- except you.

She will define her entire world by your moods, enchanting herself with them, until she has internalized them so completely that a single look from you can bring her to laughter, or to tears, or to orgasm, or to suicide. She will love you with an abandon that will leave you stunned.

She will worry you, and nag you; she will threaten and cajole. And she will do it because she is incapable of holding back from you, even though she knows that you will pay it all no immediate heed, because your attention is your whim. She will revel in your denial of her pleasure. It only confirms her own desire.

But do not be misled. She is clever and she is fleet, and she will give you all you can handle and more. She knows her own value, and is not afraid to demand repayment in kind. She is not for the faint of heart, body, mind or resolve. She will tax your every breath, your every thought, your every move. She is responsibility for something far greater than yourself and her independence in that will confound you.

Be wary, be attentive. Devastate her if you can, but know that she will only thank you for it if you do. And much to your consternation, she will politely, sweetly, touchingly beg you to do it again. And still she will want more.

But never destroy her adoration for you by withholding your own. Never give her cause to doubt it, because if you do, she will exact retribution and it will be the greatest agony you have ever known. She will withdraw from you. She will take her love and walk away without hesitation, because she is enslaved only by her love for you, and without that love, your power over her is gone. She will leave you cold. And when she does, you will finally know that all along, you needed her too.


6/9/2008 7:04:42 PM
I apolize if I came off as a Bitch in my last jounral entery. I just don't feel it be right to myself or the Other. I'm sure in time I'll be delighted in the offers but for now. I just want get to know people and go from there. I hope all understand.

6/9/2008 6:13:29 PM
AT THIS DAY AND TIME i'm not looking for a collar... i well not jump into the first collar offered to me.. I NEED KNOW THE Master a lil find out if THEIR REAL OR Fake....SORRY BUT GETTING PLAYED FOR 21 MONTHS STRAIGHT AND GETTING TOLD I'm the PERSON WORLD AND HEART AND Soul..HAS MADE ME A LIL UNSURE AND VERY HURT....

Plus believe freindship or least getting to know the other,is a better opition at this time... Guess I'm like my two Mustangs now, unsure, scared, frightened. I don't play games,I'm really not a bitch .But Guess Your need talk to me to find that out I just have no desire to Lead any one astray

6/9/2008 11:04:43 AM
well I sit here thinking,just last month I was counting down the number of days before I went met, my Master for very first time.After talking over line and phone for 21 months. Today would been 3 days before take off for Maine a 18 hour flight to get there.

The week i spent at his home was heaven ,until got home to the e-mail of telling we was over. I still in shock since i do wear his collar just haven't had the want or desire to remove the collar myself.

I just miss him so much even, though made a promise to myself He ever did this the third time to me I could not go back.But won't lie i do wonder if He misses me as much as i do him. There always be a part of Me that well always care for him no matter how much He has killed me to the point wonder if I should just stop. this lifestly and just keep to myself

I'm scare death let anyone close to Me as he was. just wondering the the pain and lost feeling every go away. this the Big reason I will not just step into a collar. Its not fair to myself or the other person. plus my trust has been toring apart i use think everyone desired other chances. Hell i gave him two chance both times he has shattered my heart.

really don't think i'm strong enough to pick myself back-up. Since he said the collar was on for a life time

6/4/2008 8:47:54 AM
To Doms no disrespect intend
But if Your looking for a quick girl to collar,I'm so not the girl. My trust was broking serveral. So right now I'm taking baby steps,just incase wanting to call a girl. Yours right away so do not wish waste Your time

5/30/2008 9:19:17 AM
I'm finding so hard to get Over One that abused my trusted,One I commented myself too for over 21 month. Taking the Person back twice after They walked away.Just wonder Why I should comment again to only get used as a doormat one again

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dolly123luv
 
 Age: 26
  Michigan