If you're not within 60 miles of me and don't have "willing to relocate" in your profile", then I'm not going to message you.  I completely understand and respect that inability\unwillingness to move.  I'm not going to bother you if I think you're too far away.

That being said.  If you are far away and are open to finding someone and possibly traveling to see them, please either put that in your profile or message me first.

I was recently accused by someone on here that this kind of mentality of not wanting to bother folks wasn't "real alpha behavior".  Yes.  Thank you.  I have no wish to be a part of that kind of bullshit and bad science.  Six Sigma is a business process, not a lifestyle philosophy.  I will respect you until I own you, then I will respect your value even more, but in a violently sadistic manner.  If I never own you, then I'll continue to give you respect until you do something to lose it.  That’s just decency.

Vanilla relationships and monogamous relationships are perfectly acceptable.  However, these things are NOT my interest and are not for me.  While this site is a bit limited in orientation, I identify as a dominant sadist.  While I can enjoy sex occasionally, I tend to require kink as an aspect of my relationship.  I am also an ethical non-monogamist, and require that any partner\playmate be accepting of that.

Really, I'm looking for a good person who's understanding and reasonable who I can sexually destroy and finish the evening with hot tea and cartoons under a warm blanket.

I have, in the past 6 months, been messaged by 2 different men who had something about raceplay in either their messages or in their profiles.  Allow me to be perfectly clear: any racial slur, race play, homophobic slur, misogyny, or domination from any aspect of supposed genetic superiority is a limit.  I grew up having various slurs directed towards myself, family, and friends and they are a quick way to have me block you.

I mean the following in an honest and non judgemental way: if you have those desires, I would encourage you to look into your personal history and see why you have those desires or urges and honestly discuss them with a licensed professional.  It is often a product of internalized hatred towards yourself or others through no fault of your own.  Talking with a professional will help you to a much happier place where you can feel more comfortable with yourself and others.

BUT, do not send me messages with any form of racial, transphobic, homophobic, or misogynistic slur in them.  It will lead to me immediately blocking you and reporting the message.  Having anything about race in your profile (other than your own) will result in a short message and me blocking you.  You are only harming yourself and it's a hard limit for me.  Consider this your one and only warning.

I'm vacinated and boosted, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to hop on a plane and sweep you up out of your life.

a- that's stupid.  You probably have work and friends and a life (or at least I would hope you would)

b- distance is my #1 problem factor.  I genuinely want to play with someone here, in my nice playspace, not in a hotel room.

c- COVID is still a thing and I'm not looking to take my chances.  If I do travel, it's by car or train these days unless it's for work.

Looking to be clear and honest here:

I'm open about my lifestyle both in my home and outside of it.  I go to public events and am very open about my lifestyle.  My home (when not in a pandemic) is also clothing optional and can get pretty open with sexuality.  I do kink on stage as well as doing it privately.

I'm actively seeking someone who is a masochist open to the public nature of my interests.  I 100% understand that it's not for everyone.  I don't have an expectation that it should be for most kinksters.  However, if we do talk, that will be the working expectation I will have for any future play/relationship.

I very rarely message people, and when I do, it's usually about a specific interest in their profile.  Have a grim outlook on online dating, I find it difficult to work up the effort for a more general "hello" unless I find something that jumps out at me.  I am, however, perfectly happy to have other people message me, though I might not get your message for a few days.  I will always be respectful in my response, even if I'm not interested.

Journals are back?  It's nice we can edit them again so here we go:

Divorce processed during the pandemic, and I'm single and currently 37 years old.

I'm actively seeking a live-in slave, but I want a solid trial period as I don't want to go directly from chatting on the internet to moving in.  I am NOT looking for online play, online training, or anything where the goal is to do kink over the internet.  I respect those who are seeking that, but I'm looking for something in person.

While I own my own house, I like to live collectively and rent out rooms to other kinky/nerdy folks.  That means that IF you wanted to live here, you would have to be okay with that.

Other than that, I'd love to chat with people about kink and am happy to chat with people who aren't intrested in ownership and just wanting to chat about kink.

I had a wonderful time with a local submissive.  She explored a lot of new things as definitely liked all of it.  Orgasms were had by all.  I am now tired and sore.  These young folks will wear me out.

Just put up a new photo of me with my new facial hair.  Yes I curl my mustache every day (otherwise it's difficult to eat).  Yes I like it a lot.  No it doesn't take hours, just about 15-30 minutes (depending on how much it wants to behave).

Ok, so I am more than willing to chat with people overseas, across the country, or even on the space-station, but it is unlikely that I will do anything more than that: chat.  I'm not into cyber doming, and I'm not interested in having an online slave.  I've already got a slave who went into the Peace Corps who I have to skype at crazy hours of the morning because she's in Eastern Asia.  The only reason I skype with her is that I worked with her in person for two years before she went into the service (and I'm proud of the work she's doing).

CASTING CALL!

We're doing a series of fetish photo shoots and fetish shows.  We need females who are wanting to get photographed in costumes, lingerie, and tasteful semi-nude fetish scenes.  We will be doing a series of photo shoots to vet models before we hire folks for paid photo shoots and shows.

While I have been called many things, today was the first day someone actively called me a fake and my photos stolen.  Really?  I realize that my opening photo is fairly epic, but it was semi-professionally taken for a calendar for members of my social club.  Not that I should have to explain my photos to anyone.  They're obviously not fake.  Really?  Why would anyone have photos like that?  Just because I have a playspace and have good photos of myself means I've made an effort.  Obviously, making a legitimate effort is something that isn't a priority for some of the folks on here.

Wow, so the last 6 months were horrible, but gave me a lot of perspective.  There are easier ways of going about it, but a sadder and wiser man am I.  I'm now much more open to a variety of things.  I no longer have restrictions due to any relationship status, and I'm actively looking for some play.  Sexual AND NON-sexual relationships are appreciated.  I thoroughly enjoy playing with someone while keeping my trousers on.  Some doms need their zipper to drop to feel like they got the "total" experience.  I enjoy a scene where the submissive is nude and gasping, and I'm clothed and grinning.

There are few things more relaxing than having a submissive rub Leather Honey and Huberd's Boot Grease into my leathers while I'm wearing them.  I have bad knees, and when she works that oil into my leather pants, I am completely relaxed.  Also, it's like a dominant foot massage to have someone work on my boots.  So relaxing.  I'm going to have to take a little nap before I do anything else today.

Doing another fetish show.  I have one model who went into the peace corps (so not going to be available for a while), one model who is fun, but needs some fetish time to figure out what she wants, and one model who is being a little bit of a bitch.  I need pain-sluts who can sell themselves to a crowd.  I can provide a place to stay if you are coming from out of town.  The money's not really all that great for to nights work, but you will get a lot of public play time.  Masters who want to have their sluts humiliated are free to contact me as well, but I need girls who can pander to the audience.

I'm fine with 18+ but the event is a 21+ event, and thus we can't have 18-20 year old performers.

Your crotch will be covered and costumes will be worked out.  I like the idea of full rubber or zentai suits.  We're to be kind of an oddity fetish show at a Halloween event.

Also, you need to be sober, clean, and no funny business.  This is my business, and I keep it all above the board.  Nothing illegal.  We use sheriff's dept as security, so I am doubly cautious at this specific event.

So, there is an influx of folks saying that they want to be blackmailed and then post a link to supposed blackmail material.  The link takes you to a page where it says that you need to download the file.  This is the most obvious piece of spam and virus material I have ever seen.  Please don't be so naive as to download these files.  I don't normally push for folks to report users, but this is a clear violation of the rules and also poses a clear threat to folk's computers.  Please report these folks so that we don't continue to have them on here.

Thank you!

So I have a new rule.  When the person in the profile photo matches the model in the advertizement on the right hand side of the screen, I will immediately report them as a scammer.  I never thought someone would be so stupid as to use a photo from an add on CM, but apparently they were.  Good grief...

I'm doing a public fetish show in February.  I need another submissive for the show.  NO SEX, and keep your crotch covered please.  I need someone thin, with at least a C cup, who would enjoy being beaten, electrocuted, and had wax dripped on their body for about 6 hours in front of a packed audience.  Must be comfortable showing breasts to a pack of drunk and horny frat boys and middle-aged couples.  This would NOT be a humiliation gig, just a bondage and masochistic one.  One night of work around High Point, NC for a little money.

If I find out that you are doing/on drugs or propositioning anyone, I will have the on-site officers remove you, and you will not be paid.  Pay is $30 + equal share of the tips.  This is completely legal and above the board.  The event is public and the security is run by Law Enforcement so I'm looking for a good clean honest masochist who's looking to make a little cash being publicly abused for the evening.  You would also have time to enjoy the event as well.

I'm feeling restless here at my family's home.  I realize that I should be home for the holidays, but my sub is back home in North Carolina, and I'm feeling rather sadistic.  I really want to beat someone, and beat them hard.  

Wow, it has been a while since I've updated.  Lots of complicated things have happened in my life, and I'm not going to post about them here.  I will however post a relevant anecdote from a friend of mine.  She was working as a professional dominant at a show, and this young man came up to her.  She tried to negotiate the scene, but he stated that it was fine because he had "No Limits".  My friend has a nice sense of humor and started bouncing up and down while clapping and chanting "I get to flay a penis, I get to flay a penis".  He went "WOAH, I'm not into that"!  She said, "well, you said you didn't have any limits".  "Ok," he says, "maybe I do have some limits", and they started negotiations.  Fo you "No limit" slaves, I can always bet that there is some line you won't cross.  It's probably things that you should never do for your own well-being, but you've got a list of things you won't do.

If you really are completely limit free, I recommend you seek out some professional help before you get yourself killed.  If you are looking for that sort of ending, then you should really seek out some help.

SO there are a few profile repeats that are having me lead them towards the ignored list.  The submissives who claim that their dominant has died recently are leading me to be extremely suspect of their profiles.  While I realize that there must be a few submissives who are experiencing this, and I am sympathetic to those who are, it is deeply unlikely that there is a rash death of dominants in the world.  I know of several new profiles created in the past few months all saying basically the same thing.

The other is that your dominant is reconciling with an estranged wife/ex-wife or "going back to his family".  Yet again, could have happened to one or two people, but not to three different submissives emailing me.

I honestly don't understand the wish to create a fake profile.  If you want a fantasy, there are much better websites out there.

So,

I received a wonderfully sexy email from a user.  The email was unsolicited, and incredibly graphic, which I enjoyed, even if their profile was fairly obviously faked.  This, however is not the motivation of this particular journal entry. 

Their graphic depiction of a hardcore BDSM scene mostly revolved around being forced to gag and choke while deep throating me.  They obviously are deeply orally fixated, and I enjoy people who like to orally service me.  I do, however, have moderate nerve damage, which prevents me from fully enjoying even the best oral sex.  I enjoy the dominant aspect of oral sex, and I can be serviced for an hour or more, but I am unable to achieve an orgasm from the act.

So for those of you looking for an oral partner, or have a fetish for the taste of cum, it would be quite difficult to have that with me.

I am perfectly able to orgasm from vaginal sex, anal sex, or from masturbation, but oral sex doesn't provide the right kind of friction to make me orgasm.  I guess the upshot of this is that if you are into hour long throat-fucking sessions, I may be one of the few men who would be able to accommodate your kink. 

It's been almost a month since I last updated my journal.  Partially I've been dealing with a friend in need, but mostly it slipped my mind.

So I went to SELF (South Eastern Leather Fest), and had a wonderful time.  By the way, Master/Slave SELF 2011 met on collarme so it does in fact happen, and the two of them have a wonderful dynamic.  I spent way too much time in the dealers' room, but I also went to some wonderful classes, and I got to play a little bit.  I'm applying my love of leather care to my support of the leather community.  There aren't a lot of dominants who like to do leather care, but I find it very meditative.

I was going to say that I don't lust after new toys very often, but that's a bit of a lie.  I have an on-going wishlist of toys.  There's one that has been circling the gay and pony sites for a while, but has recently shown up on stockroom.com

Let me preface my lusting with the fact that certain aspects of chastity appeal to me.  I like orgasm control, and I enjoy teasing without release even more.  Begging for an orgasm deeply touches my dominant side; so, when I first heard about an anal chastity device I was intrigued.

The anal locking system (basically an anal pear with a padlock) keeps the submissive from dislodging the plug from his or her ass while still having that nice full feeling.  It also keeps anyone interested in anal play aroused without them being able to remove the tormenting plug.

This is one of many toys after which I lust.  I'm probably not going to purchase it, but I still want it.

I believe in a combination of SSC and RACK.  Some see them as separate ways of philosophy, but I believe in combining them.  RACK really only addresses the first "S" in SSC.  I believe that Sane needs to be addressed and respected because, if this site is any indication, there are some less than sane individuals out there.  I use RACK to define my level of safety, in that you should always be as safe as possible, but there are things we do that are inherently risky.  Thus I am aware of the risks, and take measures to address them.

So I actively practice a sane and consensual kinky lifestyle while being aware of the risks therein (but that doesn't shorten down to a nice acronym).

If you don't know anything about SSC or RACK then please educate yourself for the safety of yourself and others.  It's also this philosophy that keeps us on the right side of the law.

So, people have different definitions of acceptable distance.  Some people are willing to travel for several hours to meet people, some are only willing to travel twenty minutes.  I am perfectly willing to have people to are larger distances away as long as they are the ones who are willing to do all that traveling.  Your vehicle gets better mileage than my big utility vehicle, and I'm not willing to spend $50 worth of gas to have tea with someone for forty minutes.  I am, however, willing to drive up to 40 miles to see people for a first meeting.  If you live farther than that, then I'm perfectly happy emailing you on here, and I love to make friends, but I'm not willing to travel that distance for a meet up.

If you're local and seem like the kind of person who interests me, then I'll attempt to message you.  If you're not local, then you have to have something exceptional on your profile to have me message you.  This doesn't mean that I don't want to talk with people not local, but I'm more willing to send the first message if you're near by.

My desk finally lost it's virginity.  I don't particularly like the job right now, but every time I see my desk, it makes me smile.  Also, some of the most fun sex I've had in a long time.  My friend was most pleased, but she needs to bring a towel because she was pleased all over my desk.  Thank you Clorox wipes!  Well, that was my day...

I do have a FL account.  I've been on quite a bit longer than I've been on here actually.  No I will not give you my screen name on there untill I know you significantly better.  I am highly connected to my local community and post photos on there which I am not comfortable posting on here.

Not only do I post photography of myself, but also a lot of my photography which I submit to shows.  As such, I know that there are several photo thieves on here, and I don't want my photography poached.

Also FL is not designed for what CollarMe was designed for.  This website is for connecting with other people and looking for partners.  That website is for connecting with your kinky community.  They aren't competing because you don't use them for the same things. 

I recently told someone on here that "I enjoy detail oriented, big picture seeing, independent, self sufficient, full bodied, confident persons who are willing to become vulnerable yet supportive."  I feel like that pretty much sums up who I'm looking for in a life partner.  The problem is that I don't really expect to find that person on here.  It would be wonderful, magnificent, and unbelievable, but not probable.

So in the mean time I'm searching for light play, friends, and those who share a like mind towards respect and openness in the community.  I'll still message people who intrigue me, but I have no expectations.

I always end my messages with a "thank you".  I don't expect it of others, but some have mistaken it for some form of submissive behavior or a lack of assertion.  I can assure you all that it is nothing of the kind.  It is common courtesy.  I know how many messages some individuals receive on this website every day.  If they get to my message, then I thank them for their courtesy.  I understand those who have neither the time, nor the inclination to respond to my messages (although it is nice to know they took the time to respond as well), but I still thank them for their time.

Any form of common respect is something to be admired and enjoyed.  I would also like to thank the few submissives and dominants with whom I have had eloquent and civil correspondence.

I added a new photo today.  I worked a fetish show about two weeks ago, and a friend got a great shot of me in action.  For the life of me, I can't remember who's ass is in the photo, but I was beating people for 5 hours, so they all melded together.

I love this recent post o.  Basically this 30 year old guy get's pissed off that a 18 year old mistress is running his local munch group, and he asks for advice on how to take over his munch group.  Everyone's reaction to this has been pretty much the same since the girl had been in the lifestyle for three years and he was just getting into it.  Where does it say that a 50 year old has experience in the lifestyle?  I know lots of people who start exploring kink when they are in their 40's and 50's.

Likewise, although I disapprove of it, there are individuals who have years of experience at the age of 18.  I've been into kink for almost fourteen years now.  It probably wasn't the right life choice at that age, but I learned things the hard way.  I've been in the lifestyle for about a decade, yet I'm still in my mid 20's. 

I'm just a little tired of seeing people only respect individuals who are older (both submissives and dominants).

Wow, I didn't realize how many journal entries I actually have.  I tried to direct some questions about my knee and need for a cane to my journal entries and realized that they were four pages into my profile.  I guess that my journal entries detail myself as a person (and a bit of my life for the past 6 months).  They're an excellent way to get to know who I am, but they might be a little arduous to read.  I'm not sure what my solution will be to this, but I feel like taking them down and condensing them is not the correct course of action.  I'm open to suggestions, but at the moment, I'm thinking about it.

I realized that I live in one of the most college centric towns in the country.  We have over a dozen colleges and universities within 30 minutes of my house.  The fetish community down here is exploding.  Even for those who don't want to even talk with me... if your're looking to get a college education or grad. school, Greensboro might just be the place for you.

So I've had some FAQ's I'd be more than happy to answer:

What do you do? 

I'm the head of theater technology for the event's dept for a collage.  What does that mean?  I run all of the technology (lights, sound, projectors) and am in charge of the stage crews for any event in a theater.  I don't have anything to do with the collage theater department, but I do everything else.  Need the lights turned on for a dance recital or a microphone for the president of the collage?  I'm that guy.

What do you do for fun?

I'm a big geek.  I like to read, play board and card games, LAN game, and rpg's.  I love renfaires and love to dress up and make a fool out of myself.  I am also a member of a fire dancing troupe, and I love to spin fire and hang out and fire jams.  I'm a huge music buff and love to listen to everything from strict classical to dub-step.

Religion?

I just sort of put religion here with a question mark because that basically sums up most of the questions.  I'm personally religious and devout.  I am what is generally referred to as "pagan", though I consider myself more of an earth-based universalist.  I'm more of a humanist than anything else, and I shy away from more structured religion.

I've been realizing that negative events tend to motivate me making journal entries, and I'm looking to correct that.  I'm looking to have a more realistic impression of myself here, and those journal entries do not give a very complete picture.  I am also finding (quite understandably) that I am not alone in my negative motivations.  I just hope that some of my positive words go to help other people be positive as well.

So it's been a month since I last updated my journal on here.  I've moved "looking for a partner" onto my list of people I'm looking for (but it is at the bottom of the list).  I spent some time with my family over the holidays, but it's good to be back in my own home yet again.  I'm looking to add a few things to my dungeon.  Any favorite’s people can suggest?  I'm stuck in between a 2nd violet wand set, a rimba set with lots of attachments, and a suction kit with nipple bands and cylinders for everything from anal ring stretching to breast/clit/nipple enlargement.  Decisions decisions decisions....

Also I will take the time to explain why the film "The Secretary" was a wonderful portrayal of excellent dominant behavior.  I will further explain why it was an excellent portrayal of BAD submissive behavior.  I will also explain that it was a good film in spite of the negative.  I will not beat you with a stick for believing otherwise, but I will know in my heart that you are wrong, and I will think about beating you with a stick because of it.  I won't complete the action, but I will be thinking about it a lot.

Thank you