Collarspace.com - The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Dominant, 47,  All of them, Florida
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Friends:
Mandi24velvetcpassionkiwiliciousMasterKevin64

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Why are you trying to destroy the site? Just take it down if you hate it that much. Take away the journal, clicking next just shows the same profile over and over again. Long ass wait for profiles to be activated. If you want to shut it down, just shut it the fuck down.
OH - there are no actual female users on this site, every single one that you see is a scam. The real female users dont come up randomly.

Username:

Description:

City:

State:

Height:

Weight:

Age:

Sexuality:

Ethnicity:

Joined:

 SirMellow

 Dominant Male

 All of them 

 Florida

 5' 10"

 400 lbs

 47

 Hetero

 Caucasian

 07/17/08

 

Actively Seeking:

Submissive female

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Journal Entries:
10/20/2017 4:59:39 PM
so...Someone asked if I was dyslexic .   That can't be good. 
I try to be articulate!! 
I guess no more using the phone to communicate lol

9/11/2017 1:59:07 PM
*sigh* 
Little consideration, little reciprocal concern, a little sense of humor  - basically a little bit of humanity. Just something other than what color the inside of your asshole is.  I'll find that out soon enough, lets try to have a real conversation. Or not, whatever.

7/24/2017 3:39:21 PM
Her profile talks about love, romance, and not wanting someone that thinks this lifestyle is all about sex. 
And her profile pic is her cunt. 
*shakes my damn head* 


7/17/2017 5:30:48 PM
I'm binge watching Three's Company -  Chrissy get's 'little' from time to time, and it's freaking adorable :) 
Thoughts?

6/15/2017 6:25:38 PM
I asked, in a song I wrote, "Do you think that we'll get a chance; To right our wrongs?"

Then someone made me question whether or not some of my 'wrongs' were indeed, "wrong". 

"do you think that we'll have a say, in the road we end up on?"
In this life, we have that choice.  but is the right choice right? 

It's not philosophy, it's bullshit. 
At the end of the day, it's all bullshit. 
One foot in front of the other, walking in a haze of self delusion, broken promises, childish fantasy and abject bullshit. 

6/2/2016 6:07:17 PM
and all the roads you have to walk are winding; 
and all the lights that light the way are blinding; 



3/31/2016 8:31:16 PM
Time to rant..
Submissive / slave creeds are proof you have no imagination of your own, and take this way, way, way too fucking seriously. If you need a creed to remind you to communicate with the person who is fucking beating you - well then you are more fucked up than the roll out of Obamacare, and honestly, the creed is not going to solve your deepest issues. 

SUbs and slaves - when you write a profile that explains, in full detail EXACTLY how your future Master must treat you -  time for you to sell your collar and buy a whip - because you are a dominant who wants to be beat from time to time. Accept your role. 
Submissive means submitting to the will and desires of another - fulfilling the needs of another - not having another fulfill your needs.  
The one making the demands is the dominant, what you do with BDSM has NOTHING to fucking do with it. You can be beat, get trained, take facials, be called a cunt and slapped in your face after he spits in it while you are fucking - but if you ORDERED him to do any of those things? THen you are in control, you are the Dominant, he is obeying - thus submissive. It's simply freaking math. 

ugghh... just.. bleh



7/23/2013 5:01:36 PM

In my inbox this evening :

hello good morning sir how are you doing this morning? my name is ***** am single and looking for the master to be with for the rest of my life..i came across your profile and will like to know more about you..here is my contact *******@yahoo.com hope to hear from you

( I added the *'s to conceal the user, that wouldn't be cool)

 

Now honestly, if I was this fucking interesting, walks through the mall would a helluva lot more fun!! LOL

Honestly - does this ever work? 


7/12/2013 5:27:02 PM

I really am bored.  Hey, my profile still lists me as 39..does that mean I'm still in my 30's?? WOoofucking hooo..

 


7/7/2013 6:33:05 PM

I think this time I made the profile long enough to ensure nobody would ever read the whole thing!  Damn, if I could get paid by the word instead of the mile, I'd be a rich mother. 

At any rate (How about .75 cpm??) I had to change it because..well cuz I do shit like that.

Peace in, but more importantly, peace out.

Jess


7/2/2013 6:20:31 PM

uhh... let me see.. I'm 40 - so..that happened. 

I'm still driving - though I'm thinking of changing careers..I am interested in learning to be a shepherd.. the hours are long, but at least you get to hang out with a dog!!! heh..I miss my puppy..dammit!

 

Anyway... I can't believe it's been 20 years since I was 20... seems like.. well seems like 20 years ago, actually..but still!! 

So, that's it.. I guess I just needed to update a bit..I don't have anything really interesting to say, I"m sorry to say... say say say lol - .. wow, I"m tired. Off I go

Jess


2/28/2013 9:46:56 PM

Seriously?
So I'm in my truck, and got one of those gas station sandwiches in the little wrapper.  Yeah, great idea, right?  I ended up with food poisoning, of course.

So I spend three days in my sleeper having, throwing up, running back and forth into the truck stop to use the bathroom 18 times a day.  Just suffering.

So I start feeling  TOUCH better, and grab a load and get back to work.  The pain in my belly is getting worse, and worse, and worse.  It just wont go away.  I start getting a fever again, sweating...and even finally getting dizzy.  Call my dispatcher..yeah, I need to go the E.R. and find out what is wrong.

So I get an ambulance from another truck stop because I can't walk.

In the E.R. the doc checks me out, sends me for a cat scan, and then schedules for me surgery the next day.

Apparently I hacked myself into a hernia, severe hernia, umbillicle, and I had one before many years agao.  I ripped it open, created a few new ones, and had an obstructed bowel.  The truck was recovered by the company, and I had no place to go after surgery.

So my mom took me in so I can heal until I can get back to work. 

So I'm in California, probably for the duration, and starting over again.  I have to say, it's way more exciting this month than last month!!! lmao

Jess


1/28/2013 10:13:50 AM

OMG This is funny...

So, I need to rebuild my toy box, since all my toys are gone...

..and so I stopped at Lions Den adult shop to poke around and see what's what..

..and my goddamn truck wont start. 

I had to call Emergency Maint. and explain that I need a tow truck for me at the porn shop....

FML

 


1/27/2013 5:18:11 PM

OK..here we go, some of my favorite lyrics..brace yourself.. or not, whatever.

Just remember love is life, and Hate is living death! 

Treat your life, for what it's worth, and live for every breath!!

~Ozzy

 

He'd had enough, couldn't take anymore...

He found a place..in his mind..and slammed the door.

~Priest

 

Spend your days full of emptiness..spend your years full of loneliness...

Wasting love, in a desperate caress..

Rolling shadows of night..

~Maiden

 

Looking beyond the embers of the bridges glowing behind us, to a glimpse of how green it was on the other side..

~Floyd

 

You've got to lose to know, how to win.

~Aerosmith

 

Someday the rains will fall, when you expect it least..

Someday the rains... Will Fall.

~Melencamp

 

 


1/24/2013 6:31:36 PM

1/24/2013 7:45:10 AM

Thank you mouse!  Now I have my music again, all I need is a muse!

39..ish truck driver, traveling, seeing, living, learning, growing, reading, and now, finally, playing again.  

When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose, right?  And everything to gain.  So that is my peace - anything is possible.  My fingers hurt because it's been so longed since I massaged a steel string acoustic, and it's a good pain. 

So now I drive, north, south, east, west - it doesn't really matter.  With the cab full of music again, it's once again feeling like home - the way it was supposed to be the first time, the way it will be now.  

Quoth the Ozzman - I keep saying that it's getting too much, but I know I'm a liar!

 

Not looking, not needing, actually not really wanting.  I'm feeling a peace that has been lost and disturbed for a long, long time - and it's all good. 

Today I will travel, and tomorrow will be the same.  Dallas, Laredo, Memphis, Jacksonville, NYC, Philly, L.A., even Eads, for fucks sake - it's starting once again to all feel..like home.

 

My eyes are not as weary as they used to be, my soul feels mellow again, and it's not numb, but comforting.  Wish me luck, and if I don't see you again, you take care of yourself.

that Mellow Guy


1/20/2013 3:24:01 AM

I no longer fear hell, for I have been to Eads, Colorado.   

Frightening little town, Wednesday morning, when I was there, the two day old snow on the ground still showed no footprints leading into most of the buildings on 'Main' street, which of course they spelled, "Maine St".  Interesting.

Everyone knew everyone else, the local grocery establishment could be the setting for a movie based in the 1970's.  The old Pepsi signs were probably worth more than the aged meat they were selling at a huge discount, probably because it was either cut by an angry farmer, or cut from an angry cow, if you get my meaning. 

The shadows that still remain would be the aging silos that sat like sleeping giants near the railroad tracks that would be forgotten, if not for the punishing ride when you drive over them.  I suppose when the trains are no longer a regular visitor, the maintenance of the tracks become an unnecessary expense.  Of the two bars that are in town, one boasts Friday night Kareoke, which I'm sure is something akin to the nightmares that keep Simon Cowell from getting a good nights sleep.

I suppose the most terrifying news came from the 22 year veteran of the local grocery mart, smaller than the music stores back home, who proclaimed with great admiration the fact that many people who have left, returned to live their lives in this tiny little pit of despair.  Even the Dread Pirate Roberts would fear the darkness in these streets!

So, I survived my encounter with madness, realized it was most probably an experiment and there would be someone behind a curtain somewhere, begging us to pay no attention to him while he spied on his little white mice, scurrying around from place to place with no apparent direction or purpose. 

Ok it wasn't quite that bad, but still - some scary shit.

I'm up too damned early, I need to get some coffee and really figure out what to do next.  I know, I'll drive!! lol 

Morning world, Jesse's awake, beware muhahahahah

Jess

 


1/16/2013 3:43:05 PM

Experience is the worst teacher, because it gives you the test before the lesson. 

I now have had some experiences I wanted, and I'm sorry to report, some experience I didn't want.  Some things  continue to repeat themselves.

Sometimes there is so much in my head at one time I can't get one singular thought to coherently come through.

..then again, sometimes....there's nothing.

Jess


8/20/2012 5:03:28 PM

meh!

 

 


3/15/2010 10:19:15 PM
To my mouse.. I love you, I will always love you. Best of everything on your new journey, I'm so very happy for you!!! Take hold of that Master and never let go. I let go of something special once, and it cost me more than I could ever imagine. Don't repeat my mistake. Oh, and hello to everyone else, yes I miss you, but it is what it is, all we can do is move on :) Mellow One

3/19/2009 1:26:47 PM
Painted, played, slept and rested.
Ahh...things are getting right once again with the world.
I'm starting to come out of my haze, and it is good.
And now, I'm going to nurse my new wounds lol and get busy with getting busy..cuz there is nothing like being busy :)
Me

Uhh.. the new wounds are a few gouges in my leg from workin in the garage.. little bit of a limp, but healing :)

3/13/2009 9:23:17 PM
Well, I'm off to get some center and get some perspective.  Going to take a mini vacation, and when I come back, nothin' but roses all the way around :)
It's been a rough climb, and maybe we are near the top of the hill, and ready to move on with a more level path, both of us.

Time will tell, I s'pose.
so, see you all in about a week or so :)
Me

3/11/2009 4:56:33 PM

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

David Weatherford

You got to lose to know how to win

                                  Steven Tyler Aerosmith

So, today she told me she is ready to walk another path, and wants me to meet him, and see if I approve.  I told her to find someone, to have someone, to have light and Dominance in her life, to have  a chance at being happy, to find what I'm incapable of giving to her.

And I know it's right.. I have to do this, I have to focus, I have to make some changes, I have to.. tend my garden, so to speak.

I hope nothing but the best for her, and .. mouse you know I love you :) please be happy, it's what I need.  I need you to find your smiles, and let go of the sad.  It can't be with me, we've been over that.. please find it ..for you..and for me.



3/9/2009 8:05:36 PM
So, this is what I do, I chase that little white line down the road, and I think sometimes I'm trying to catch up to it.
That's what it's like, chasing something hoping to catch it. love, faith, healing, forgivness, friendships, peace, acceptance.
Acceptance...I think that might be it, that's what we are searching for. That's why we fall in love, becuase someone accepted us.. through our faults and failings, our trivial bull shit..they still want us, still accept us. And we stop chasing, cuz we have it.
And then sometimes that is not enough.
What is enough, how much is enough?
I think I'm tired of finding acceptance, I think I'm needing now just tolerance. Just tolerate me.
I don't want to love like that again, it's not worth it, hurts too much because nothing that good can last forever, I realize that now.
So, I will settle for tolerance, I don't want to be accepted, just tolerated for short intervals of time, and then we move on.
Journies are like that, you travel, stop for a time, enjoy the visit, and then move on again.
Sometimes we stop for too long and find oursevles selling out our own hearts.
I swore 'never have anything you can't walk away from, ever."
I sold out, and you will too.  It happens...because we lie to ourselves and and say that we wont be happy unless we have something we can't walk away from.
Well having something I can't walk away from caused me to have to walk away from something I didn't want to leave.
That was a feeling of being out of control, and I don't much care for it.
But, whether it be duty or honor bound, I'm stuck with what I am stuck with, right or wrong, I made my bd, and now I'm going to sleep.
Goodnight
Mellow

3/8/2009 7:14:42 PM
There really are no words to describe all this, being tugged in two different directions is never easy...nothing is.
I suppose the reason it hurts so much is because I know I'm giving up something very special.  I think that for a while I seemed not to have a real purpose, aside from getting up each day and taking care of those boring things we have to take care of.. and for a while, I had a purpose, I meant something to someone in a way I'd not felt in a long time.
We made mistakes, and we are paying for those now.. I just never realized how much it was going to cost.
For now I'm numb.. penny for my thoughts? To be honest, they ain't worth that much right now, I'd have to give you change.
I need to be home, I need to rest, I need to relax my soul.
You said to let go of my angst.. I'm just wondering then what will I hold on to ? 
Fuck I want simpler things... but I'm afraid that ship has sailed.  On with the next leg of the journey - stop my complaining and do something about it.  *nodding*..
Time to stop complaining..and time to do something about it.

2/9/2009 5:17:26 PM
I feel a sense of forboding, like I'm standing on the precipice of my new reality, and afraid to look down.
I know I have to do this, we both know we have to do this, we just don't want to.. stubborn.. yeah, the both of us.
There is nothing left to do but accept this new journey, and realize we have to walk seperate now, so long as we are not too far away from each other.
I'm going to miss you mouse, more than you can realize, more than I can say when we talk, more than I can admit when you are in front of me.  I do love you.
To everyone else, thank you, so very much, for all the love and laughter, I wouldn't  trade it for the world.
I'm still here, lurking *grins* just, taking some inventory.

In case I don't see you again, you take care of yourself.
Mellow

2/7/2009 6:36:46 PM
The Philosophy of the wisest man that ever existed, is mainly derived from the act of introspection.
~William Godwin

But what of introspection that leads us do false conclusions?  Surely there is a pennance for such indescretion, no?
~Mellow

Poised at the ready to regail you with quips and quotes that will no doubt leave you wondering about your own existence, I find myself looking into the blasphamus abyss that is my own.  To be blunt, I tried, but came up short.
I looked inside myself tonight, as we all should from time to time, and had a long talk with me;  I  was sorely dissapointed at the conversation.
I have  regrets for some of my journies,  paths littered with pain and missteps, my youth discarded far before it's time.   I find myself realizing that perhaps if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would do so much so differently.
~Quoth Ozzy 'there are no indisputable truths, and there aint not fountain of youth!~
So I am stuck with where I am, and more dramtically, with how I got here.

I have lost faith in everything I fear. In God, in this life, in my choices, in my dreams, in my realities...in myself.  I'm certain now that in light of so many bad choices I"ve made so far, I'm sure to make more, and yet I can't change my mind. Stubborn.
Or is that a euphinism for stupid?
I'm clawing the walls of the cavern as I fall quickly toward the bottom, grasping for something to hold on to, for something that can stop me from falling. A rock, a branch, a limb, dear God, anything!
I'm looking for something to believe in.
I once wrote "I'll never be what I want to be, if all I do is dream"
But what happens when we stop dreaming?



1/26/2009 4:50:21 PM
Had to edit some out becuase it seemed confusing.  Shit happens, I suppose.

Well gee whiz it's been a minute or two..

So, I suppose the most obvious question is 'why did you not journal about something so deeply emotional as you and velly splitting paths' .. and the answer is, well, I did, just not here.
I know now what that old saying really means:
"The problem with experience is it gives the test before the lesson"

Of everything that happend, and as close as her and I remain, even sometimes I wonder closer than we were as Master and slave now that all that 'service first' shit is no longer present *chuckles*.. I still get this strange kind of hurt somewhere when I think about it all, and I think it makes me hypersensitive.
I don't want to be in this place, and the reasons... fuck a cow the reasons for all this is just sheer madness.

"You've got it all don't you, but it's not enough!" Mister Hobsbon, Arthur

According to Mellow "Love is an illogical attatchment to someone, or something."


Love scares the shit out of me, I tells ya.

If I can teach you anything, I would hope that this lesson sticks more than any other... nobody can teach you how to recover from hurt, so really, really be sure you want to feel it before you try to love.

Mellow Yellow

10/14/2008 7:59:36 AM
Good golly where have I beeeen?? Oh yes..that's right..I've been busy :)

Learning more everyday, and each time I learn something, it's like 'duh, why didn't I know that'
Althouhg some lessons are harder to learn than others.

When you see your slave veering off course, failing to correct her can cause more harm than good, for everyone involved.

You might have very good reasons - oh it wasn't that big a deal.. .or "she's been in trouble so much lately I don't want her thinking she can't do anything right" or "She has given so much, this little lapse should be overlooked"  and of course "I like her like that, so the discipline slips a little, the ends justify the means!"

I think the most dangerous reasons we fail to correct a slave's behavior is our own emotions get into the way, and distract us.
In a Master slave relationship, the slaves' position is service first.  She knew that going into it, this is not new information, and she craved the Master's collar knowing full well that his intent for her was Service First, always...
.. so why do our emotions tell us to back off in correction?? Thinking raitonally - if it is your emotions keeping you from correcting..maybe you care to much? Well not correcting is going to hurt her in the long run, becuase it will hurt the dynamic.

What is that word again?? Oh yes, I almost forgot
FOCUSS
FOCUS
FOCUS
FOCUS

9/11/2008 7:53:54 AM
A day of reflection and reenforcement.  I'm learning eveyrday, and loving the ride so much.
So it is time to refocus a few things, get some perspective, and put some things in order.  my slave is coming along so wonderfully, and so into the journey, and she makes me smile, so very much.
We had a little problem this morning, and we are working through that.  Even the probem makes me smile, becase I know how hard she is going to work to correct it, I know, in my heart of hearts, that it will be corrected, that she WANTS to correct it.  It's .. just so fucking nice to have a slave that actually conducts herself as such, and desires it, and is .. just so wonderful.
On with the correction now baby, *smiles* I know it wont take long.


9/9/2008 9:07:24 AM
Time to think and to reflect? Reflection bites :)
On Septenber 7th I took a left turn and parked a while, and gazed upon my property, for the first time without looking through pixels.
She stood and I hugged her, and felt her inside of me, in the middle, and breathed her into me.
We know where we are, and we know where we have come from.
velly and I walked together a while, talked to together a while, and smiled together a while.
It's amazing what you can feel from someone without physically meeting htem, and even more amazing what they can make you feel in only a few short minutes.
Thank you, baby - for everything you give, and for who you are.
*smiles* glad I stayed, and glad I found my muse, my mouse, my slave


9/5/2008 2:46:34 PM
she's mine... ALL FUCKING MINE

Today I collared velvetpassion, she is now known as {velvetpassion}SM

This journey has been exciting and so intense, for both of us.  We both learned new things, about each other, our life together, and our seperate lives.  She is a slave now, please do not call her a submissive, as they are different things. 
She has a strong mind, which she will give to me, a strong backbone, that she will bend only for me, and a strong sense of self, that she also gifts to me.
she is my other half, and this time, when I was learning, when she was learning, was difficult for us both.  In the end, the journey was worth it, the destination was worth it, and I've never been happier in my life. 
Thank you my mouse, for learning from me, teaching me, and giving all of yourself to me.
Mellow

9/4/2008 3:46:10 AM
so.. slave training 101, day one is in the books. It was harder than I thought, harder than she thought.  There was a bump where I almost pulled out of the training because she needed some closeness becuase of what she was dealing with outside the training. 

I realized though tthat there was no reason that I could not give her that during training.  She is in slave training, and a Master needs to be able to be there for her and take carer o fher, and she needs to know I will be there for that.

A slave should not burden her Master with mundane  garbage, but what if she doesn't know if it's mundane?  Who decides what is important  enough to lean on Master with, I mean.. who makes that decision?
Ultimatly, Master does, though a slave can think for herself and decide if it's something to bring up and lean on her Master for.

Caution should be inserted here, a slave sholud not choke something down.. when it doubt, ask Master :)

9/3/2008 8:17:54 AM
Okay..so can teh Master bend the rules??
So far it is going to good, slave training has been kicked into high gear, the final frontier so to speak.... and .. its'..interesting.
I am not feeling what I thought I would be feeling- it's less anxiety and more ..focus. I guess I can learn to focus too, huh?

It's amazing, truly amazing, vel is truly amazing. If you think you can't learn something from a sub or a slave or a slave in trainin,g then you are not listening close enough :)

8/28/2008 1:18:46 PM
So the submissive sets rules, boundries and protocol, it's called 'limits.'
For example, a sub says to her prospective Master, 'you can't have sex with any other people but me, that is one of my limits.'  Or to make it sound more submissive, she might say 'Other people sexually for either of us is a hard limit.'
A Dominant might say to his sub 'you can't have sex with any other people besides me.' and it's somehow an order, command, or boundry that he has put in place.
What if he makes that rule, and the sub says 'I'm bi-sexual, and need the feeling of a woman now and then, I have a hard limit about you taking that away from me, because it is one of my needs." Or, "I have a need for a woman now and then, it's a need, and you have to provide my needs."

Of course she has the right to add on to that 'You can't have sex with with the other woman, it's my need to satisfy the bi-sexual urges I have, and I have a hard limit about seeing you with another woman."

I guess the question about 'who has control in a D/s relationship is really not all that curious a question after all, when you start to think about it in those terms.  I mean, really, the Dom makes boundires, the sub sets limits, which are boundires, I'm not talking about general concessions, I'm talking about actual orders, commands, only they are callled 'limits.'

A submissive submits based upon the thoery and idea that she will be recieving from her Master the things that she needs, and that her wants will also be met from time to time, along with some guidence and discipline, but more focused on her needs, on what she is getting, on how the Dom is going to 'move her to submit.'  She's not submitting becuase seeing happiness in her Master is the most important thing, she is submitting becuase he did something that she feels is acceptable enough to deserve her submission.  And each day that is put in question, and should he fail, and then give her an order, she can safe out and explain that 'you've not been meeting my needs today at all, and you expect me to submit to you?  That's not fair.'

I am trying to find where 'fair' entered our little lifestyle, and in what context that is being taken out of.

 A slave surrenders. 

Interesting, no?

I can't think of a better path for me in my life, and my slave to be, SiT velly is teaching me things even when she does not know it.
There is a lesson in there, always be careful in what you say and how you say it, you might be teaching someone something, and you don't even realize it.

Have a good day, and in case I don't see you again, you take care of yourself.
Mellow

8/26/2008 3:56:13 PM
You know you can try and try and try but still, you can't get that fucking Rubiks cube to come out right unless you pull it apart.
I should have known better, the magic 8 ball predicted my doom LOL

My ever obedient slave-in-training told me that I needed to update my blog, I guess she needs something more to read than the fifteen pages of training material I've sent her in the last few days HEHE.. oh well, she's right..I need to get my ass in gear.


I'm not pissed about anything at the moment, but I did figure something out that was quite interesting.  If you give your slave/sub a command, say to not say certain things for a period of time, you need to put some thoguht into that shit. Becuase, since her ultimate goal is to obey you, .uhm.. you miss out on that shit you told her not to say! lol 

Anyway- I'll be back to blog in a few days, there is some political stuff I wanna talk about, but I have to get all the voices in my head to agree first - I have two dems and two reps in my head, and one of those fuckers is a damn libertarian.  I finally did evict the communist though, now if he would just come by and pick up his fucking manifesto I'd be in good shape!

8/12/2008 4:50:11 PM
GAWDAMMIT JUST SING THE SONG!!! l
LOL
Fuck! Why is it when you go to a concert , the singer points the fucking mic to the crowd and makes them sing?
MOTHERFUCKER I paid to have YOU sing to ME?
Where else would this shit word? HUh? Go to McDickheads and have the dude behind the counter hand YOU the thing to put the fries in...let you fucking do it???
Or you get in the cab, the driver takes you half way, stops, and tells you to drive the rest of the way?
Look..you fucking doorknob.I paid for you to sing, so get with the damn program! for fucks sake.

And then these assholes get on tv and tell me how I should vote, compain about this and that..LOOK schmuck, I pay you to sing, or act, not to be some kind of policital consultant, I got AM Buzz radio for that ya fuckin balloon-head...get back in the studio or back on stage and....
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

my oh my.. you know .. I think .. on..scratch that, I don't think LOL

8/12/2008 4:28:24 PM
Little diddy - 'bout.. na..fuck Jack and Dianne (but that song's the shit!)

Okay - semi-fast tempo..rock beat..soft rock anyway.....be bop along iffin you can:

(this work is copywritten, information available upon infringment)

If you could see tomorrow and saw that you would have to choose

Either your head or your heart only one was gonna make it through

Would you spend today covered up underneath those blues?

Or just decide, make a choice and get on with what you have to do

Yesterday has come and gone

And tell me baby wadd’ya learn

Life’s like a candle if you want the glow you know it has to burn

So why don’t we set it all down and try to live for today

Don’t fret about tomorrows drama ‘cuz it’s gonna happen anyway

All we have is this moment, baby nothing else is real…

…even though that’s not the way it feels

All we have in this moment now – nothing else is real…

..even though that’s not the way it feels.

If you want to visit someplace baby pack up some stuff and go

Cuz life ain’t fair n nobody promised u tomorrow

Mama said lifes biggest regrets are the things you chose not to do

So brush your teeth, comb your hair go out and  get that date

 tell me baby whatcha got to lose?

All we got is this moment right now, nothing else is  real…

….no.. nothing else is real.

All there IS is this moment, baby nothing else is real…

..even though that’s not the way it feels.

Tomorrow is just illusion day that never comes

All you do is go to bed and wake up face your problems and move along

Next year will b another set of problems and drama that you have to solve

You know it happens to us all

So wake up count your blessings and thank god for another day

Go out soak up some sun or take a long walk in the rain

 

All we have is just this moment baby nothin' else is really real

Even though that’s not the way it feels

 



7/26/2008 8:58:49 PM
Have you ever been in a situation where you knew damn well what you should not do, but can't seem to convince yourself of it? *grins*
I have nothing to rant about - nothing to bitch about - and no complaints.  If you are thining to yourself 'wow, you are boring' then you'd be wrong.

Lesson for the day - If you have a shitty day, and it all seems futile, and someone is nice to you and attempts to cheer you up
LET THEM FUCKING DO IT
hehe...If it don't work, it's worth a shot - but it usually works..and works well :>



7/25/2008 7:26:04 PM
Well that did it lol
Thanks for the comments on my rants and raves.

In case I don't see you again- take care of yourselves.
MellowYellow

7/25/2008 6:05:52 AM
*grumbles*
Really, I mean really - where is the damn love?  What happend to respect, courtesy, and being human?  I think I'm a remnant of D/s past - like a ghost, clanging my chains away in a desperate attempt to re-live some of the glory days!.
Well, alright - I've given up on finding decent chat on a regular basis - it's like  a Royal Flush - don't count on it, just be surprised and damn happy when you see it, and I realize that respect is subjective and doled out in small amounts, again, like a rare jewel worth saving, hardly present enough to expect - however..what happend to self-respect and dignity??  Come the fuck on people - just a LITTLE cooperation..that's all I'm asking for!!@!
Maybe it's me, maybe I ask for too much? Maybe expecting people in a chat room to chat is too much? Maybe asking for respect in a room where the room rules state 'all should be respected' is asking to much? Maybe thinking that all people should respect themselves and the people around them is just an out there idea?  Aged, just like me hahaha.
Oh well - fuck it - at least I still have me..so I'll be okay.. anyway - 'nuff of that..

Okay - so really - it was my bad that I didn't get coffee for this morning - microwave is staring me in the face, near mocking me hehe - damn going to be hard to get motivated -by the time I get someplace where I can wedge this big ass truck into to get something, I'll not want coffee anymore - near throws my whole damn day off!!
Well, shit - first thing inthe morning, and I'm already throwin' a snap - justu going to be one of those days lol
Mellow



7/24/2008 4:27:42 PM
All hope is not lost..
Had a really good time in one of the CM rooms tonight - good conersation, some laughs - even a door-knob or two toward the end for some comic relief :> It was sweet - maybe there is hope after all!!!

Anyway - I'm goign to play with Little Miss Thing a while, and then masturbate with shaving cream.  LOL

7/23/2008 5:34:20 PM
Man this place is draining my strength - trying to get a conversation is like pulling freakin teeth.  So cliquie *shakes head* oh well.
So..I'm pissed.. I jumped in another server and caught part of a conversation - they called it a discussion - whatever...
Who has the power, the sub or the Dom/me? I think the sub does..wah wah wah

Fuck the internet has fucked this lifestyle all up. And I use the term lifestyle loosely - very freaking loosely.
Here - do this - pick the person in the relationship that actually has the power, and call that person the Dominant.  *shaking head*
It's like - you want to call yourself a submissive, but 'no person will ever control me - but I"m a sub!'
You're name is all cute and cuddly, and you get to hang with your 'sisses' and talk about subbie things - check it - look up 'submissive' in the dicitonary, then get back to me.
Between splitting hairs and inventing shit just for the sake of sounding like you know something, it's like not even a 'lifestyle' anymore - it's a random grouping of people pretending to do something for the sake of doing it.
You know - each one of these fucking conversations has about three people who just parrot lines form 'Differnet Loving' or the Roses or ..damn near line by line copy and paste from The Castle Realm, pass that shit off as thie rown thoughts, and the rest of the 'experienced' subs and Dom/mes in the room applaud them like they just fucking invented the orgasm.
One actually said ' we should not be called 'subs' becuase sub means low - like sub-terranian, sub-human...etc.
oh for fucks sake.
It's short for submissive - and if you are not submissive, then I guess I wont call you that.  Fuck half the 'subs' running around this net are not submissive at all - just pretending for a while, *perks* at whipping - wonder how one of these dizzy bitches would actually respond when that fucking device actually causes a few welts on that delicate skin.
OH and the Dom/mes..don't even get me started !!
'my sub can't work anymore so I released her'
'my sub has too much baggage from her past so I released her'
'my sub cries too much and is having trouble following my every command, so I released her'

How many times did you fuck her before you collared her?  Did you not know about this shit before the collar?  OR did the velcro close around her virtual neck three days into your journey??
Super Dom!!! All you need is a cape -released becuase she had too much baggage, coulnd't bring in a paycheck? HOLY SHIT what is this thing coming to.,
And who invented W/we Y/you E/everyone A/all. who did that??
How do you do that when you are talking to someone without text...say the words 'Hello capital A lower case a all!'
Come on 0 the lower case names on subs is crazy enough - it's a proper name people, just like in english class at high school, even Satin has a capitolized name. Why? Becuase it's a proper noun.
Okay - but I can at least live with it - as long as they don't FREAK the fuck out when you accidently don't cap.
"girl you WILL cap my name when you address me'
Oh go fuck a rubber doll, you no self control having, self deluted, egotistical, low self-esteem having, sorry excuse for a digital Dom muder fucker.    It's chat - get over yourself, just becuase you call yourself a Dom  DOES NOT MAKE YOU ONE.
*shakes head*
I mean - we have the talk about whips and chains....but where's the love?????

Mellow

7/23/2008 3:31:57 PM
~Yesterday~

Our paths crossed for some reason... something we were meant to share...
A gentle push, a violent pull... , a kiss, a prayer, a swear.
Like a roller coaster winding ..
through the lights and silver lining
Of the dark clouds  casting shadows over our heart's wear and tear...
It was madness at it's finest, controlled chaos, we were mindless.
Consequences didn't matter all we saw was what we dared
Tethered to our promises
with fraying, dream lined rope..
And letting go .. we started slow.. we found we still had hope..

Now I try remembering - and knowing it's all past
Realizing now why certain things aren't meant to last
We promised we would keep our heads..dared to find a way
To seperate what we were building from our day to day
But Once one said 'I love you' we knew we crossed that line..
Oh why can't yesterday get off my mind;


Take care of yourslef
Mellow



7/22/2008 8:31:09 PM
You ever have one of those days where you feel like you just don't matter to anyone??
I don't.

HA

So - not much to report tonight - I was going to do some poetry, or even some lighthearted, meaningful, deep stuff.  But I didn't.
Have a good one! Tired - sleepy..and now...going to sleep.
Peace! or piece..either way

7/21/2008 5:00:26 PM
If you want to get introspective, you might just have to face some ugly truths about yourself.
Luckily, I never do either HA.

Today was FUCKED all to be damned.. A/C quit ..AHEM.. AGAIN!! and nobody seems to know how to fix it.
Look - if you are not sure how to do something , dude, really, leave it the fuck alone.
Do you know why I don't fix my A/C? BECAUSE I DON'T FREAKIN KNOW HOW TO

Now..if you don't know how to either, then don't mess with it  YOU DAMN DOORKNOB.

Got another one of these fuckin baloon-heads talking about this and that - radiator and evaperator and condenser - and ..dude close your beak - can you fix it? Yes or No, it's simple - this ain't freakin advanced physics, you have a million dollar tool box you should know at LEAST enough to know if you know how to do it or not FUCKKK!!!!

Made a couple freinds tonight I think, had some good laughs, and really enjoyed the evening - so not all was lost - near made up for the AC debacle entirely. :> sweet.
So now all I need is to play with Little Miss Thing a while, see if I can get her tuned up and whisper some sweet sounds to me :>

And then..- I'm going to pleasantly get some food, eat with my pinkie out like I have a bunch of class, and then watch some porn LOL

Hey - in case I don't see you again, take care of yourself :>

7/20/2008 4:17:42 PM
It's not that I'm lazy, I just don't give a rats ass!!! hahaha

Got another riff down..I knew I could do it - and it seems to work with those lyrics..now I just have to put them together.

Fuck regular radio sucks outloud.. I have had Sirius for so long I forgot just how bad radio really, really blows.
So this song comes on..not bad - and then the DJ starts whining about his life or some shit then ..no shit 1O FUCKING MINUTES of commercials...two songs TWO...count 'em .. Uno - TWO - and then another 5 minutes of commercials...Then back to the dick jockey - does he play some music.
Why of course not, that would be silly, this is a rock radio station after all!!
Sheesh - this fucking door knob rambles on incoherintly about some bad in the rock and roll hall of shame or whatever..then it switches to the radio's ad for a giveaway..tickets to see a naked basket weaver or something.. then a few songs..and ..yeah..more commercials.

Good lawd man - what is the fucking world coming to???

oh well.. ohkay... some thoughts..this a journal after all...

I'm a path of discovery - LOL I can't even deliver that line with a straight face!!

Andyway - it's all happening too fast. I hope when I re-read this in a week I will just smile..for now..it's taking some of the mellow away - and that bites.


7/19/2008 6:53:50 PM
Well, shit - could not seem to stay connected to chat tonight.  Oh well, what can do you right? Shit happens.'

Won just over a hundred bux in poker - not bad for a buck entry and beating out almost three thousand poeple.. I figured it out, i was making $33.33 an hour to play poker lol.. Not too shadididlyabby.

Okay - well - no sugar tonight in my cofffe, or in my damn tea... The beautiful and oh so delicate little Miss Thing is safely tucked away in her case - strange I'm not in the mood to play tonight... must be something in the water HA  That lost riff is haunting me just a bit - oh well, ain't nothin but a thing.
Well - I guess I will sleep or whatever, and fantasize about those things I can't do... and do the things that are too dull to fantasize about

*shakes head* I crack myself up.. I truly do.

7/19/2008 10:34:49 AM
Despite my most vigilant attempts, the riff is lost. Like a song you hear that you really like, but the fucking DJ is too obsessed with commercialization of his show to tell you the name of the artist..and so it is lost forever.
Dammit Jim

Okay - so..what did I learn today... well, I learned.. I didn't learn shit - I did watch Rendition though - wow that movie blew hard.

Okay - so I'm sitting in Memphis, and thinking of hitting a blues club or two since I have some time on my hands...wrote another song though, only lyrics this time, at least that got on paper...a little change here and there, throw a 12 bar on it and BAM.. I'll have something for the next campfire roundtable I do beleive.

Made some changes to my profile..and I find myself re-reading it - like.. it's strange..I write and go to this place..outside myself? OR something lame like that- anyway.. When I re-read it, it's almost like I'm reading it for the first time.  Maybe that is my ego...too impressed with my own words LMAOOO  If only I was that narcisstic..thinking I would be in the pickle of a fish I'm fucking sitting in!! hahaha

Oh.. I need to eat..damn the diet, my happy ass is hungry!



It ain't Shakesphere, but it will get me through the night

7/18/2008 10:45:17 PM
ahh yes, the public display of the most private of thoughts. What a fucking concept.
Okay - so today I learned that depending on your mood, it can really affect your poker play!!! oh well, I won a seat to the Daily 50 Grand..wish me luck - I'll need it.

Meloncholy - it's a good word, becoming my favorite.  I don't know if it is the heat, the job, the time out or the lack of sleep, but I feel like I'm in slow motion, and I'm okay with that.  I think that is the problem.  I'm actually okay with the meloncholy- I don't think that is a good thing. 

I am trying to fight the enemy within - that enemy, is boredom - and he is a bastard.  I'm so FUCKING bored.  I was playing the guitar a while ago, wrote something really cool - played it a few times, then didn't even fucking write it down..why?  becuase I'm TOO FUCKING BORED.  That is really going to bother me when I start feeling better and wish to GOD I would remember that damn riff.
Oh well - I'm off to see the damn wizard, and hope that bitch let's me sleep.  If I could find a way to e-mail the sandman and tell that motherfucker to take me for a ride I think all would be right with the world.

Then again.. you know what I always say...
fuck it.

Love ya - and in case I don't see you again, take care of yourself.

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