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| I find it humorous how so many people put such a big emphasis on titles, like just because someone calls themselves a Dom it means one thing, and someone who calls themselves a Master it means something else. Last time I checked, every relationship is different, and evolves over time, and the dynamics likewise evolve.
Why do I say that? Well, you might be one of those submissives who feels being called a slave is paramount to being called a cunt, or a whore, even though those are simply just that... words. But let’s just say that it's insulting to you. Well, you might meet a man who you fall in love with, and learn to trust completely and without question. And then all of a sudden, you find that if you were to ask others, they would consider you a slave, and a darn good one. Is it then still an insult?
Some of you are out there because you think this is all a game, like just one big role playing game where you pick your characters and "play your part". For many of you that’s enough, and if you’re one of them, I will respect your choice, but for many of us, we never decided that we wanted to be a Dominant. You can’t just one day start calling yourself a Dom or Master and then be brutal and cruel, and what’s even less forgivable, use it as an excuse to take out your insecurities and anger on the sex you feel is responsible for your pain.
This goes for BOTH sexes, and lately it seems, more towards women who want to get even with men for whatever reason, and think that financial domination, and brutality will level the playing field. Or men who feel they are losing their rights to women, and want to "put them in their place" To both of you, I say this very simple thing. If you feel submission comes through force, or intimidation, or physical power... you are OH SO Mistaken, and to those of us who have been in this lifestyle, and have ANY semblance of experience with more than the online roleplaying, trust me, we can tell the difference, and you're not fooling ANYONE but yourself Sure, you might be able to fool the newbies for short periods of time, and they may think it’s cool and exciting initially, but even they will eventually see the truth, and will rightfully laugh at you, as the rest of us do. So my advice, grow up, take some responsibility, and be REAL.
To the Dom's out there... Being Dominant is something you either are, or you're not. It can’t be taught, it’s a personality trait. Being Dominant is taking responsibility for your OWN actions, before you hold ANYONE accountable for theirs. It’s an inner drive to succeed, to make yourself better, and help those you take responsibility for better in the same process. So that means HAVE a job, some drive, a career, YOUR OWN PLACE, and not living with Mommy or Daddy, or in a basement, or with roommates. Come on now.
Now... being a submissive or a slave. Sorry, but most of you out there don't have the first clue of what it means to submit to someone. The term submission is VERY simple, and as defined by the Websters dictionary, it is defined as such:
Definition of SUBMISSION
1 a: a legal agreement to submit to the decision of arbitrators
b: an act of submitting something (as for consideration or inspection); also : something submitted (as a manuscript)
2: the condition of being submissive, humble, or compliant
3: an act of submitting to the authority or control of another
That’s it. PERIOD. So I'll make it simple for you. If you let the man tell you what to do when it suits you, and only in the bedroom, because it’s what you want anyway, and it gives you an excuse to feel that its ok to be completely slutty because someone else is "forcing" you to do so, yet outside of the bedroom and every other time during your relationship God help him trying to tell you what you should do, because you're not "That kind of a submissive" and you "don’t do 24/7" Really?
You honestly believe that is submitting at all, in ANY semblance of the definition, even if you chose to stretch it to its breaking point? Who are you fooling? Sure, you might find idiots out there who will gladly let you dictate the terms of the relationship, just so they can get you to suck their dick for a while. But tell me, do you HONESTLY think such a person would have the backbone, integrity, or moral fortitude you're looking for? Do you think such a person will be what you desire long term?
And then you start complaining about how you can't find a good Dom. Sorry ladies, but if you want to beat a man into submission to "protect" yourself from being hurt and taken advantage of. Who do you have to blame? When you chase away the true Dominant men out there who quite frankly have better things to do than stalk women on sites like Collarme.com, HAVE A CAREER, and a life, and lack the patience to deal with a bratty little "Princess" wannabe with a HUGE chip on her shoulders, and not baggage, but a whole luggage set. Who do you have to blame but yourself?
When I started out my mentor in this lifestyle told me one thing that I will never forget. If you are going to be something, be the BEST something you can be, because you can make all the excuses under the sun why that thing needs to be molded into what you want it to be, but life doesn't work that way. Winners don't make excuses, for anyone else, or more importantly for themselves. Winners don't bitch about why the whole world is against them. Excuses are like assholes, everyone has them, but very few people have integrity and more importantly clarity about who they are, where their place is in life, and what they need to do to change it if they don’t like it, rather than expecting the rest of the world to change so they feel better about themselves. Which one are you?
Losers need not apply.
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